The others gave good comments on a grey choosing their new mate. They will always seek the "Chosen one" when they lose their previous mate. You husband has become the chosen one.
You said "I want us to be friends.". I don't want to really anthropomorphize, but you can be friends and from your description of how she came over on her own and interacted with you, you are. But, just like us humans who have mates and friends, most the time we only snuggle up and have up close and personal relationships with our mates. Friends are great to have and we enjoy their company, but we do not welcome snuggling, kisses, petting etc. That is reserved for our love muffin.