It sounds like the honeymoon is over and you are seeing his true character. Just go slow and easy. Let him come out on his own, choose and if he wishes to interact with you, if you ask for a step-up and you don't see that foot come up, just tell him it's ok in happy voice and do something else so he does not feel threatened by a demand and he see's you respect him and his body language. Just accept him for where is is, who he is and he will respect you back for doing that. This is the only way a relatioship, no matter what level it winds up being will develop into all that it can be.
Imagine if you were rehomed and everyone just expected you to act like one of the family? It wouldn't happen until you found you place in there environment and you would interact with them at your comfort level, not theirs.