You do have time for birds, its not like you have to to spend all that time with the bird right there in front of you, a lot of the time will be spent just being in the same room with you since they are flock creatures.
You do have the money but then she may have other ideas for that (I know I am a woman) but this is something you really want and I think you should have it.
She probably doesn't envision a cage as part of the home decor but I didn't much like having mounted animals as part of my decor but they are there for my husband is a hunter so I live with it, of course my 2 cages (I have 2 parrots) are part of that family room too so my Josey has 2 mounted turkeys on the wall over where her cage is:S
Funny thing is if you go ahead and get the grey she will probably end up falling in love with it and then problem solved but I hate to see you give up something you have wanted for so long, she needs to give a little, thats what marriage is, give and take. But then we are on your side.