Oh Ray, I am at a loss for words. I feel your pain as Nilah is very nice like Cricket, although minus the baggage and hurdles you helped Cricket overcome to be the best loving companion possible. You two had a bond like Nilah and I, even more so. Your post really hits home and is quite emotional for me.
My heart breaks for your pain, as I know from the bond I have with Nilah, it will never stop hurting. I just hope one day Cricket, as she looks down on you, will let you know if another Amazon ever cross your path that is belongs with you.
Love to you and Crickets memory,
xoxoxoxox <3