Jeffnok, I suspect that things are going better than you think, but you are taking things too hard. It comes from a good place though, as you only want to do right for Gracie. My Chickie is a very independent little one too, but she does little things, like Gracie does, that lets me know that even though she's independent she notices when I walk out of the room, etc. It's so unnerving when you are trying so hard to get it right and they throw us a curveball, especially for us new grey owners. I call my breeder all the time and ask her things-the last time I called and questioned if what I was doing was right or not, she gave me some good advice. She said that my intuition about what to do with little Chickie was better than I though, so to just relax and enjoy the ride. I think your situation is similar. Gracie picked you for a reason, remember that. As far as coming out of the cage, not sure if this helps of not, I try to give Chickie the choice if she wants to come out. I open the door and ask " want to come out?". I try and ask her with most of what we do. She usually obliges, but not always. And, like you with Gracie, I get my feelings a little hurt if she doesn't want to do or want what I want, but, as you already said, it's not just my feelings that are to be considered. Please keep us posted and it does sound like you guys are doing ok.