Ronda477

Marriage (Part I ) Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old budd ies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said: "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not." (DARN SHE'S GOOD!) ************************************************ Marriage (Part II) Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!" "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My H usband -- Stiff At Last'!" (HE ASKED FOR IT!) ***************************************** Marriage (Part III) Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!" (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!) ***************************************** Marriage (Part IV) A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four." (RIGHT ON, LADY!) ***************************************** &n bsp; THE SILENT TREATMENT A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE ) , he wr ote o n a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. ***************************************** God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

LOL That was good

Oh Wow Tracy! That is something! It's awesome with the technology what can be done! Thanks for sharing that!!!

WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says "HEBREWS"

LOL Dan! Are you telling me my hair is like a Halloween mask? lol Just jokin! I gave her her sprouts and I put them on top of her cage. She came out and ate some and than went right back to her little swing and is sitting there lol. I mentioned that it was gloomy here and maybe she just thinks it's kind of night time again or something. I don't like to have lights on during the day unless I have to. She did seem to come out a little more yesterday once I turned them on though in the evening. She seems happy in there, I guess I'll try not to take it personal lol.

Welcome Arkbart4! Look forward to seeing those pics!

CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

I can't go by a CAG but I can say that birds in general like My Quaker when we first got her she was 3 years old. She was under weight. They only fed her seed and even though it tends to be fatty, they left the same bowl of seed in there for weeks at a time thinking that they saw seed still and not realizing that they are kind of picky eaters sometimes and only pick out what they want. Within a month she had already gained weight for us. The guy came over to see how she was doing once we got her and couldn't believe she was the same little bird. So yes they can still grow especially out lol. Just be careful not to fatten him too much. Work on the step up's with him for it is very important for them to learn for safety reasons as well. And yes lots of time will do you wonders!

lol I figured. I just wanted to make sure and was hoping I wasn't making some steps backward somehow. Here she is now banging her dish lol. I'll have to get her some sprouts, I have some in fridge so she will be happy! Thanks! I told you I was having a DUH moment!

Ok, it's been kind of that winter gloomy here in WV. I take SweetHeart out of her cage like I do every morning. The last two mornings she has went up ate a little seed, which I only have on her play top and than goes back in and plays with her toys or sits on her swing and sleeps here and there. She is grooming herself normal and eating very normal, just she has never spent most of the day in her cage. The door is left open for her option and always has been. There are a few new things I put in her cage about two weeks ago. One is a new perch, two is a new toy, and one is a old toy that I put back in. I also just did some more sprouts for her and I haven't done them much lately and she keeps checking that bowl. Maybe I'm just being silly lol. Cause as I'm typing this I'm going DUH! Everything else seems normal though. What do you think? Oh and does anyone else's Grey have problems with the way they wear their hair? lol SweetHeart absolutely hates my hair down!! Wendy which was her breeder had very very very short hair. I on the other hand have very very very long hair down to my waist lol. I try to wear it up as much as possible but I get migraines and have to wear it down and than just occasionally I want to wear it down lol. I still make her do her every day things with me like she has to step up and such, but she growls lol. Just wondering if anyone else had this problem. Not looking to solve it lol she'll just have to deal with my hair lol. Just curios though.

I think it will and any other member too Dan, I'm sure they will see that there are the ones who care and are humane with their decisions other than the in-humane ways to help our little ones! Good call

An elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken in to. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

Ok I don't know what MBS is, is it more bird syndrome? I'm lost on one other one too lol it's "IMO" don't know what that one is either. But yes I have a disease!! I don't know how I'm gonna start breeding birds in a few years! I'll want to keep all of them!

Yes that would be nice Judy

lmao yes it does I swear if I had the money I would get that one too!!! These are soo contagious!

Wow Heather what a site you have! It will take me days lol. But the kids loved the pics of the Gecko's! They want some now lol.

Ok, was just making sure, I don't want anyone to be upset cause they already posted it, I truly didn't see it. The thought came to mind because soo many have seemed to lost their little ones lately. But thank ya Tracy!

Yes can't wait lol. And yes that is a TAG baby!

I have seen too many people like this and it sickens me that he is on here actually giving ideas on how to handle a bird. I think that is his thing Tracy to come and add fuel to the fire every few days. I think if we all stuck together and didn't give this guy what he wants he will go away. He'll come back and post and get us all fired up and than we will write back, well that is what he wants, he doesn't want our help for he has it all figured out himself. So let himself stand alone. There is nothing we can do at all for the poor little grey he has. He is going to be mean to it no matter what we say or what view we give him cause he thinks he has it all figured out. I'm sorry it just makes me sick to my stomach.

Thank you Tracy! Were you able to see what was in the pic with him?

Oops sorry I did look up first rainbow bridge in the search window for the forum and nothing came up. I am sorry girls I didn't mean to step on any toes. And even if I didn't still sorry.:unsure:

lol Judy I know the feeling! I just know that some like Tracy don't get to see them every day like we do

Zeta I tried to do a little research for you, here is a popular and informative post for you to read. http://www.greyforums.net/forums/african-grey/5198-newbie-how-can-i-stop-charley-bitting.html#5198

I applaud anyone that is trying to quit! I have never ever smoked, but everyone in my family has and still does. My husband finally quit. He stopped smoking cigs and went to cigars thinking they weren't habit forming. they were worse than the cigs. He has been almost two years come Memorial weekend without one. They do have this new drug out to help people to quit smoking it starts with a "C" I can't think of it right now, but there are a ton of people I know on it and they are doing really well! I wish you all luck!

He was, he just sat there and looked and ate a bit and than looked some more, I finally just drove off lol And Thank you!<br><br>Post edited by: Ronda477, at: 2008/02/23 07:03