I think the answer here is already provided by none other than yourself with the statement, "I'm a little agressive" you are probably not giving her enough time and certainly not patient enough with her when working with her. Greys cannot be rushed or pushed into anything, I think you need to settle back and let her dictate when she is ready to interact with you.
As far as toys, maybe you just haven't tried the right kind of toy yet, some greys love shredable toys, some wooden, some leather or rope, some will turn their beak up at one toy and accept another and be sure to introduce new toys slowly for they dread new ones for they think they are gonna attack and eat them.
Since you grey is still alive and kicking then I assume she is drinking water, you may not see her do it but she does or she wouldn't live too long. It doesn't take long to take a sip or two of water and move on and I know you can't be watching her every minute of the day.
Maybe she is more of a perch potato than an active playing grey, some are like that, she would just rather sit and observe her world preening a little along the way while others would rather go from branch to branch playing with their toys.
Maybe she decided she no longer wants to shower or it is possible that something happened the last time that caused her to no longer enjoy them, who knows what goes on in a grey's brain.
Maybe you are being too agressive with the training right now, cut that back or out for the time being and see if things improve, she needs to feel comfortable and maybe you are pushing too much too soon for her. Also she is becoming more independent now as she gets older, she is making her own decisions and maybe she has decided you are being too pushy so back off some.
Socialization is more of having all members of the household interact with and handle her so she is less likely to become a one person bird, letting visitors to the home talk and interact with her if she allows it and maybe taking her to places so she sees other people besides just the immediate family.
I think you are doing pretty well but you need to be less aggressive with her, take it easy and slow and make patience your best friend.
Take a look thru the bird food room for ideas of what to feed her and what she should be getting as far as nutrition.