Joke Of The Day

[danmcq]

LOL, that was a good blonde joke :-)

[judygram]

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[raehamilton]

A man is standing inside a crowded bus. Behind him a woman starts spraying perfume on herself. The man is overwhelmed with the smell and the fumes of her perfume and can't stop coughing. He turns back and looks at her. The woman says, "Perfume de Paris $100 dollars a bottle". A few minutes go by and the woman starts gagging and starting to throw up. The man turns around again and says to her, "Pinto beans .29 cents a pound.<br><br>Post edited by: raehamilton, at: 2008/02/19 02:28

[lovemyGreys]

{Feel-good-0002006E}

[judygram]

Got any more Rae, we can all use a good joke, sometimes laughing is all we can do.:laugh:

[raehamilton]

Nursery School Teacher

A nursery school teacher says to the class, 'Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?' First little girl says 'The sky is definitely blue'

Teacher says, 'Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be grey, or orange...'

Second little boy...'Trees are definitely green'

'Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown...'

Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks.. 'Does a fart have lumps?'

The teacher looks horrified and says...'Johnny! Of course not!!!'

'OK... then I have DEFINITELY shit in my pants...'

[lovemyGreys]

{Feel-good-0002006E}{Feel-good-0002006E}{Feel-good-0002006E}

[judygram]

I don't think I have heard that one before, so I am laughing my a** off at the moment, LMAO, thanks Rae for sharing that with us.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[danmcq]

Hahahahahahahahahahaha, what a punch line....I almost spit my coffee on the screen.

 

Thanks for that laugh Rae!!!!

[raehamilton]

A man goes to his priest and says, "Father, I don't know what to do, I've done every thing and tried everything to lose weight but I can't" I feel horrible.

 

The Priest replies, "Son, don't worry I will help you if this is truly what you want".

 

The man says, "yes, father, I will do anything."

 

The Priest then says, "Come Monday morning be ready to start".

 

Monday morning comes and there is the door bell rings. The man opens the door in his workout clothes. He finds a beautiful woman in short shorts that tells him, "Father John sent me and he said if you can catch me you can have me". The man gets really excited and runs after her. Every day for the next few months the beautiful woman appears at his door and he runs to catch her. Finally one day the man gets up and stretches and he feels that this is the day. He is finally going to have her. He has lost weight and he is strong. As usual, the door bell rings. Very excited he opens the door. There he finds standing a very large woman. She says, "Father John sent me and he said if I can catch you I can have you".

[lovemyGreys]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Rae there funny

[judygram]

That last one was a side splitter:woohoo: Rae, thanks for sharing them with us, a good laugh is good for us all.:laugh:

[Ronda477]

An elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken in to.

She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.

The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

[judygram]

Thanks Ronda:laugh:

 

 

{Feel-good-0002006E}

[danmcq]

Back seat!! Funny Ronda :-)

[TalonSis]

In most of the US there is a policy of checking on any stalled vehicle on the highway when temps drop to single digits or below. About 3 am one very cold morning, Montana State Trooper Allan Nixon #658 respponded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Great Falls, Montana. He located the car, stuck in deep snow and with the engine still running. Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the trooper walked to the drivers door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty bottle of vodka on the seat besides him. The driver came awake when the trooper tapped on his window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror, and the state trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into drive and hit the gas.

The cars speedometer was showing 20-30-40 and then 50 MPH, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning. Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding(but stationary) car. The driver was totally freaked, thinking the trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the trooper yelled. "PULL OVER!"

The man nodded, turned his wheel and stopped the engine. Needless to say, the man from North Dakota was arrested and is probably still shaking his head over the state trooper in Montana would could run 50 MPH .

Who says troopers don't have a sense of Humor?

 

 

Melissa

[judygram]

Thanks Melissa for the laugh, I guess one state trooper has a sense of humor:laugh:

[Ronda477]

LOL That was good Melissa!

[raehamilton]

This is the funniest blonde joke, I have ever heard!!!

 

 

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and

pass a flower shop.

 

The redhead sees her boyfriend buying flowers. Red sighs and says, "Oh,

crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."

 

The blonde looks quizzically at her and asks, "You don't like getting

flowers from your boyfriend?"

 

Replies the redhead, "I love getting flowers, but he always has

expectations after giving me flowers. I just don't feel like spending

the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."

 

The blonde thinks a bit and says, "Don't you have a vase?

[judygram]

Now that is a funny blonde joke Rae, thanks for sharing that with us.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[lovemyGreys]

{Feel-good-0002006E}

[Talon]

OMG! {Feel-good-0002006E}

[Makena]

{Feel-good-0002006E}

[Ronda477]

Oldie but goody! Thanks Rae for the laugh! I forgot about that one!!{Feel-good-0002006E}

[judygram]

I bet you know a lot of them don't you Ronda, why don't you share some of them with us, the blonde jokes that is or any others you can put on the forum, how about it!!:laugh: B)