oblivion

I'm so glad you read my story in the spirit in which it was intended. I try not to preach - unless someone is doing something clearly wrong, of course. As for having children or not, and TMI, I bet that's another area where our long stories ring similar. I hope things work out for you. And you may be interested to know that the forum with the blunt guy is no longer active. I'm not saying it was because of him, but I like to pretend it is. Thanks for your comment about Nim. We were just telling stories about her to our daughter last night. She was a goof who wore her bell as a hat and once fed her foot like it was a baby. Interestingly, she died of a reproductive tumor or cyst. "Fine" one day, dead in the emergency vet's office two days later. These creatures can really break your heart. Again, welcome. You seem like the type of person who could make just about any situation work. List out your pros and cons, come up with backup plans, and decide with your head as much as your heart, and I bet things will work out to your satisfaction. Best wishes. PS, my wife's name is Amy.

@judygram, I do the same and I'm surprised I haven't heard a common commercial jingle or anything for the last year and a half yet. One thing I did partially teach to Spencer is the 5-note theme from Close Encounters of the Third Kind. He picked it up pretty quickly and would do it as a contact call for a bit - one of us would start and the other would finish - but he hasn't done it in a while now. One of my phone ringers is "Axel F" from Beverly Hills Cop, and he REALLY gets animated when I let that play through, so maybe he works on that when I'm not around.

I NEED to make one of those now! She can't reach that smoke detector, can she? Hard to tell from the video. Yes, make one ASAP!!! No, she can't reach the smoke detector, of she figures out a ay to, I will be moving the ladder....

AmyJ, first, welcome. Second, I LOVE that you are asking questions while planning, instead of after buying. Third, I will offer a little bit of my story, not to convince you one way or the other, since I don't know you, your situation, etc., but just to give you something to think about. Since I was about 5, Iv'e wanted a macaw. I had parakeets and loads of reptiles as a kid, but never pressed for a bigger parrot because I KNEW I was not ready for one. I was lucky enough to have a family friend with several parrots and I learned early what expense and time was required to keep them happy. Years later, when my now-wife and I had our first apartment together, we set out looking for a pet one day, and my love for birds was re-ignited. We ended up with our 'tiel, Anya, and since then we have planned that 'one day' we will have a macaw. Admittedly, I nearly impulse-bought a severe while we were still apartment-dwelling, but luckily sanity (e.g. my wife) won out. When we eventually moved into our house in 2003, I envisioned where a huge macaw cage would go, I planned where the play stands would be, and we set up a 'pet room' for Anya and Nimue (budgie) as well as the two bunnies. I got more involved in macaw forums and continued to plan. Having a new house, we also soon had our first Labrador (I grew up with them and getting one was inevitable). One day, circa 2004, in some macaw forum or another, I posted a question very similar to yours. I mentioned the adequate space, research I'd done, acceptance of the HUGE responsibility, existing puppy, and planned kids. Much to my surprise, among the responses I got was one VERY blunt man who basically said I was an idiot for even THINKING of getting a macaw. He said to raise my puppy first and figure out the kid thing before ever revisiting the idea of a macaw. Honestly, it PISSED me off, though I refrained from engaging in a 'YOU DON'T KNOW ME!' flame-war, remembering that I'd ASKED for opinions. But really, 8 years later, despite the delivery, I still believe the guy was right. We had our first (and perhaps only) kid in 2006, a kitten shortly before and another puppy shortly after that (along with the 2 rabbits and 2 birds) and honestly, sanity was hard to hang on to. Having a child around (and remember I'm 'just' the father, no breast-feeding, etc., for me) was like NOTHING anyone could have prepared me for. I'm VERY glad I did not have a young macaw to look after at the same time. We acquired our TAG, Spencer, as a re-home after our budgie died in 2010. Anya and I were both missing her and I'd started to mention to a few friends that I was ready for another bird. Spencer's owner was looking for a more attentive/entertaining home for him, and I was looking for a bird. I'd never planned on having a Grey, but it just worked out. As, some might argue, it was 'meant to,' but even that's more moralizing than I like to do. My now-5-year-old is also enchanted by macaws and I still plan to have one some day. When the time is right for us. Maybe that'll be when she's in high school, or maybe a bird in need will come along sooner than that, but I'm no longer in a rush. Whatever you decide, I look forward to hearing your story and learning right along with you. Best wishes.

This weekend was more casual hangouts - he seems to have regressed in large part back to where we'd been for the last year or so. I'm hoping I didn't push him too hard. The encouraging thing is that even though not engaging, he seems more interested in what's going on around him than he used to. So maybe after a little more soul-searching he'll 'peek out' of his shell again sooner rather than later. I've also heard some new-to-me sounds/mumblings from him even while being more reserved, so that's good, too.

Spencer (TAG) completely ignores the swing in his cage, I'm guessing in no small part because he's so toe-impaired. But he does have a boing on his play-top and gets quite daring bouncing and hanging on that. I keep meaning to make him another for elsewhere in the house. My 'tiel very rarely swings, though it does seem to be her favorite spot when in the car - like air-ride suspension or something. Only my old budgie REALLY liked to swing. She was a tiny ball of fury.

I finally finished this thread, and now I want an update! So much of what you've described I've seen in my Spencer - and so much I have yet to see.

Awesome room. The "danger" instincts in animals are incredible. I used to have an iguana who would FREAK OUT at a belt or anything rope-like in my room. It was only once I also got a ball python that I realized everything looked like a snake to him, and that tapped into generations of being snake food. I've seen birds react similarly and I'm sure that's how your guys saw the vines as well. I'm glad you got it figured out. My birds don't seem to mind the fan in their room, but it is only on when they are away and it's white against a white ceiling, so less obvious. Thanks for the great video and for reminding us to think of these things.

Was reminded of this old gem today:

In addition to Dave's advice, know that birds, in general, are wasteful eaters. As a kid brought up to clean my plate and turn off lights, this was frustrating for me, but it's the way of it. Some products, like pellets and Nutraberries, aim to minimize the waste and ensure birds get what they need, not just what they want, but there's going to be things the bird tosses. My grey utterly refuses purple-colored pellets, my 'tiel shuns the red. And sometimes the Nutraberries crumble over the cage grate, not the food bowl. What are ya gonna do?

I hope for everyone's sake she hasn't been cooking meth in there. If so, find somewhere else to live. Extreme paranoia, perhaps, but these days you really don't know and the residue is toxic to humans, let alone a bird who may pick something up off the floor.

Amen to that, Aerial! With Spencer's new-found confidence, I almost feel like he's a new-to-us bird all over again. Also, I've noticed the last few evenings that he seems to have a bit of a thing for my wife. His low, manly, 'Hullo?' seems to be reserved for when she gets home from work. Another thing I noticed last night was that Anya, the 'tiel, a sweet, timid, demure little thing, seemed to be getting a little jealous of the attention paid Spencer. It was just about going-to-bed time and he had a second wind and was bouncing around his little cage trying to decide if he wanted to come out, so I was talking to him, trying to coax him to step onto the door. Anya climbed down from her play gym and stood at the edge of the table eyeing up his cage. If I could read her mind, I'd think her intention was to fly up and stand on top of his cage - whether for dominance (I know that concept's been debated out of favor) or just to check him out closer. That wasn't a chance i wanted to take, though, so I intervened with head-scratches for her and he settled down a bit and we soon went to bed without incident. I always feed her first, and she gets more contact since she's shoulder-tame and loves to be pet, but I'll have to be more aware of how she might be feeling. Not only was she the first bird, but she's at such a size disadvantage that I absolutely will not take any chances letting them work out any differences on their own. BTW, up until that near-face-off, they've pretty much ignored each other aside from the occasional chatter back and forth.

YouTube parrot videos: betcha can't watch just one!

How old is the CL bird? I'm not an expert, so will refrain from doling advice, but my guess is that you won't know until you try. And I know what you mean about CL, etc. And some people are so CASUAL about dumping a bird. Boils my blood. I just saw a 2 yo B&G listed the other day. Can you say the honeymoon is over? So sad. I have a cat, and I don't like cats, but she's here 'till death do us part! May you choose wisely!

Yeah, I think I'd rotate toys with at least 1 new and 1 old toy available, unless the old ones are so old as to be unsafe. Nothing wrong with old toys per se. If they are falling apart to the point of being dangerous, you could always strip them for parts and perhaps Frankenstein some favorite parts on to a new toy. Spencer's all-time favorite "toy" is an old Gatorade bottle. He beats it up, he stands it upright and perches on it, and he chews the heck out of it. It looks ugly to me, but it's what works. Good luck!

I have some plans in place, but have not done as thorough of planning as luvparrots. As far as care were something to happen to me/us, my family is all animal lovers, so they'd probably fight over who gets what. An actual in-home emergency is my weak-point and I appreciate the reminder to get on that (never updated plans once we moved from our apartment many years ago).

That statement right there assures me you've got the right stuff. Those who think they know it all are in for a rude surprise, I feel. And yeah, that first time you get nipped, or even just growled at, all of the prep will probably fly out the window. But you'll do great. As for patience, I have to say that Spencer has helped/forced me to be more patient than ever and I swear I feel it spilling into other parts of my live. If you feel like you're starting to lose it, walk away and collect yourself. You'll be fine.

That's a big back of suck for all involved - even the soon-to-be homeless girl. What she's doing isn't right, but she obviously has her reasons. Good luck with the new place. I hope she didn't/doesn't trash it on her way out.

So, last night I had Spencer out of his cage w/ the gates to the pet room open. FYI, the gates are there to keep the bunny in and cat out at times we can't pay full attention to what's going on. Anyway, Anya was downstairs on a play gym with me and my daughter, Em. I'd left Spencer's travel cage (how I get him around the house) open on the floor - the idea being that he goes in if he wants to explore and ignores it if he doesn't. He seemed content hanging out on his main cage, so I gave him his evening snacks there and left him to it. Em and I started watching YouTube vids of parrots on the TV/PS3. The commotion had the effect I'd hoped for. After some calling back and forth, I looked up and saw him at the top of the stairs trying to spy on what was going on downstairs. It was the first time he's come out of the room on his own. He's climbed up on the gates before, but always retreated if I'd take the gates away. He didn't attempt to climb down the steps and couldn't see the TV from where he was, so he seemed like he was getting a bit frustrated/agitated. I went up there to interact with him a bit - there were some cat toys around I threw for him. He was a bit standoffish and it was getting to be bed time, so I eventually lead him back to his cage with an empty plastic bottle - never fails (I can't tell if he LOVES them or HATES them, honestly, but they certainly attract him). In leading him to the cage, I heard his first use of one of my phrases. Approximating my voice, he said, "C'mere." He also repeated it this morning getting even closer to my voice. We wrapped up with a pumpkin seed, a beak shake, his cover, and a "Goodnight, Spencer. Go to bed!" Baby steps. It's AMAZING how sensitive they are. As much as I'd read that before, it's REALLY something to see/navigate. That said, other than handling, he's really a pretty easy-going guy. He does great traveling the 6 hours up to my folks and seems to enjoy the constant chaos of their house and also well-tolerates being watched by my aunt - he's been there all the way up to 10 days. It's clear to me he was loved at his previous house, which I'm sure is helping me/us immensely.

Thanks, Aerial! Prepare for your mind to be blown. I, honestly, never much 'wanted' a Grey. I was interested in them, but well-discouraged by reading about how much attention they need - not a knock on them, being respectful of them. I have to say taking him was a leap of faith, as I'm sure it is for all (though I think easier to take for those who DON'T do research first, ironically). Honestly, had I not had nearly 4 years of experience raising my daughter, I would not have had the confidence to take him even for that first 'weekend sleepover.' My previous bird experience really offered little in the ways of preparing for him. That all said, I haven't regretted it a day and I can only hope he feels the same way. And I think my wife only regrets it on the days she works from home, with lots of phone work, and he wants to chime in continuously. Best of luck!

No worrries. The good news is I haven't been bitten since that post.

I just read through 5 pages of this thread, but will have to finish later. I just wanted to say that I'm LOVING reading about your experiences and it's really making me wish I'd recorded and shared my journey with Spencer as well as you have here. This is fantastic and will be a treasure for you your entire life. Great writing. And your heart is quite clearly immense! Squabbles on other threads of these forums had be a bit disheartened. THIS thread is what I call "Ending on a positive note!" Thank you so much for sharing.

My, how quickly things change. My wife would kill me if a 2-year plan turned into a "Today!" plan. Good luck and congrats. Not AT ALL intended to rain on your parade, but this thread made me think of this. In browsing PetFinder lately (I am NOT really looking for another bird yet, just looking AT them) I've noticed that in the 3 major bird rescues around me, 'toos GREATLY outnumber any other species. Just by general impression, they might even equal the total number of all other bird species at the rescue. Of course this is not a scientific survey, but I have to wonder A) are 'toos given up that much more often than others B) are 'toos that much harder to rehabilitate and rehome once in a rescue or C) am I just seeing something that isn't there?

I love it. How old is Gilbert? I'm sure it's just coincidence, but I also can't help but wonder if the season/time of year has something to do with his 'breakthrough' as I just had one with my 14 year old (18 months with us) TAG as well. Unlike you, I got a little too excited and perhaps pushed him back a little bit, but we're still on better terms than we were 2 weeks ago. It's great to see the payoff for all of the patience (yours and mine).

Amazing. Thanks for posting.