katana600

My technique is pure trial and error with Miss Gilbert being quite the complex learning environment. All I can think of is a demonstration we were once given about leaders. There was a string on the table and we could move it with one finger and the illustration is, you can't push it or it bunches up and works against your efforts but if you gently pull it along, it will follow. With Miss Gilbert, any signs of coercion, even putting my hand on her cage behind or above her is met with a "snowfall" of barbered feathers within a few days as the anxiety gets the better of her. In the past month we are getting to the point where she doesn't tremble when we approach her cage. If she hides from me and is hypervigilant and wary, I have learned to accept that her answer today is no thank you. She isn't like any other little monkey in the world, she has come a long long way in her fluffy little grey underwear to teach me to wait on grey time.

Oh gosh am I glad to find your intro thread. You are going to learn about grey time and the value of doing "nothing and trying the same old things over again in new ways on new days. Toby is beautiful and blessed to be with someone willing to do anything it take to reach him. Everyone on your thread has offered such good advice, I learned everything I know about greys right here in this forum and I learned with Miss Gilbert that after four years, I still don't know how much I don't know, LOL. On the staring thing, looking straight on with our mammal eyes we do look like all the predators he can imagine, I read that turning and looking through one eye, much like he does is less intimidating. He doesn't seem fearful, I didn't read anything about growling or aggressiveness and he came out of his cage to get closer to you, that is really encouraging. We brought home a very frightened traumatized Timneh African Grey and she sat like a sentinel on one perch for a year and rejected nearly every offering. One of the foods she loves is to share my steel cut oatmeal, with a little almond milk off a spoon before I eat any and get my germs on it. The warm food was an icebreaker and is now our daily routine. For toys, start small. The advice that I was given was to start by hanging things lower than his perch, overhead and new is scary at first. When he takes an interest, move them up a little at a time and ask his permission before going into his cage. We started with parakeet size toys and have worked our way up. I think the main thing is to not take rejection personally, the things you offer him today... or every day for four years may be rejected over and over again, but the day he decides it is okay, he will blossom quickly. Thank you so much for joining us, I would love to see you start a thread in the rescue room to follow the adjustments of Toby to the embarrassment of riches he is about to be offered. Welcome to the forum to both of you and to the rest of your flock as well.

It feels like Christmas at my house. David is away this weekend and Miss Gilbert has been very quiet and withdrawn. Tonight I shared some warm macaroni with her and she gobbled it up with compliments to the chef. Then, I was snuggling two little dogs on the sofa and had Java on my lap preening her head and Gil was watching us closely. When I stood up to put Java to bed, I stood inches from Gil's cage and let her watch as I kissed Java's head and snuggled and scratched her head and neck. Gil again, was watching closely. As I said goodnight and closed Java's cage, I turned back to Gil and before I could put my hand up, she stepped to the edge of the top of her cage and offered me her foot. I didn't even do the left hand behind her ploy. I didn't step away from her cage, but praised her and sang to her and as a gracious bonus, I offered immediately to put her back on her cage. She stepped to the cagetop, spun in a circle twirling her skirts and again offered me her foot spontaneously. I picked her up and repeated the act, and she repeated her act. She did this three more times. It was delightful. I am going to sleep with a song in my heart. Miss Gilbert has reached out to me on her own accord. Now that was four steps forward!

Pour your love and patience into Toby, be happy he now is in a loving home and make up for lost time and trust. Soon there will be no more memories of his life before you.

You and Tarkus made a great team for Conservation and Love of Nature. I am so sorry for your loss. I had only one up close and personal look at an armadillo. We were moving from Duncan Oklahoma to Fort Worth Texas. I was driving my two young daughters on a four lane highway when I saw a small armadillo trying to cross. I pulled over and the kids stayed in the car while I shooed him out of the roadway. It had such a pretty pink face, its face reminded me of a graceful seahorse. When it got to the grass on the side of the road, I wanted to get a closer look but it curled up in a tight ball. I wasn't sure if it would bite me and was very cautious approaching it. I touched it with a small stick on the shell thinking if I turned it, I might get a better look at its face. That is when I learned they have a defense mechanism where they fling themselves straight up like a bowling ball to smack a predator right in the nose. Lucky for me, I wasn't a predator and I didn't get hit in the face, and that was the end of my encounter with him since I knew he was trying to protect himself from me. I think they are fascinating animals too.

I was just thinking about Inara and how fortunate you found each other. I rejoice at the way she interacts with you and gives you her heart. Of all the things Miss Gilbert says, the one that never fails to melt my heart is when I coax her away from her cage and she asks plaintively in a child-like voice "Wanna go back?" While it may not be the thing I want at the moment, it could be worse with some of the other salty language she uses. I love reading about all the happy times you all share with your greys. Our day is coming.

When Miss Gilbert makes progress we take two steps forward. When she stalls, I give her room and wait for her to get ready again. It is just wonderful that she didn't slow down again when we went away for a long weekend. Also, in the past two weeks, I have capitalized on her growing attachment to David. When he is home from work, if she is on her cage top, I offer her a step up. She always leans in to tuck her beak into her chest to ward me off. I put my other hand on the cage top a foot away and she is distracted enough she poises to hurdle off the cage to escape. Only now she waves her foot for a helping right hand to "flee" my left hand. I've used this technique before with limited success. After doing it once or twice she either gets nervous and starts barbering her chest, or she just dives into her cage when she sees me within ten feet of her. Lately I can pick her up, carry her across the room and hand her to David. He talks to her for just a minute and she no longer shakes with anxiety. When she starts getting the panic look on her face, flapping her wings and looking for an escape, I ask if she wants to go back. She is ever so much in a hurry to step up to my hand for a lift back to her comfort zone. I may get the opportunity to do this three or four times each evening. Last night, she got ahead of me and lifted her foot for me without my other hand behind her. When she gets back to her cage she does that Donald Duck character "barking" grumble at me. That has been new for a couple of weeks. It sounds like she is doing it as a good natured grousing. She laughs when we laugh.

We are making great strides together. When we went away for a few days, this time we had a new pet sitter stay in our home. Actually she is a college friend of our daughter and she has stayed before, but this was her first time for pet sitting. When we came home, the dogs didn't even come to the door. The best part though is that even though I was gone and Gil was confined in her cage, she had a great attitude when we came home. We have her cage situated near the stairs. Occasionally she will very quietly and stealthily get on one step closest to her seed catcher for a reconnaissance mission. We took a midnight flight home and David had the day off so it was an opportunity for them to start a new routine. He will go sit on the step. She thinks I can't see her back there. She very quietly slid down the bars of her cage ever so much like a little fireman on his way to a job. She tried to walk through the bannisters but didn't fit so she tried again just under the stair tread. She rubbed her beak on David's hands and rubbed his knee with the top of her head. Maybe the bannisters give her the same feeling of security as being in a cage because when I stood or spoke she didn't get in any hurry to dash back into her cage as usual. Its such a beautiful thing to witness as she begins to trust, even in tiny little grey steps. She was so relaxed and chatty with Eryn and she has had no inclination to barber her chest feathers as she would have in other times when we either took her out or had a sitter. I feel like dancing on a cloud, she is making progress.

What a mesmerizing video. I had never heard this song. Thanks for posting this.

I agree with you Val, its just real tough to speak from the heart with honesty and at the same time think how anyone else might interpret my words or intentions framed by whatever else is on that person's plate on any given day. For instance, I am catching five minutes right now 14 hours from the beginning of my day in Georgia to arriving in Yuma AZ for a funeral. My pet sitter is with my birds and dogs for the first time. If someone were to read my words and interpret a slam or impatience, I may not have time to get back, read it through, compile a cogent response and address it. In my own life, I have a three week rule for emotional objectivity because I tend to have a hair trigger to "scratch someone's eye out". Does that sound like Gilbert or what? I will think about this some more after a little sleep, a little time and access to the internet again.

First, I think the original suggestion comes from a good intention to "jump start" credibility. But, filling in information is about what each person decides is relevant and credible. A profile I filled out five years ago or even one year ago wouldn't necessarily provide a view of how I see the world today. The join date, number of posts provide a general idea of how long someone has stuck around giving, taking, sharing ideas. Another thing is the written word only conveys tone based on the skill of the writer and the spent contemplating how one would like to be received. Just like our greys, we are unique and individual. I didn't read bluedawg's post as being anything more than "hey guys, do you think this would help" in sincerity . Likewise, I didn't read Dave's to say anything beyond, no it wouldn't help him. Dave doesn't sound hostile to me reading, but I wasn't vested in wanting anything different from him.

My heart breaks for your loss. My sister just asked why I got another sick parrot when Juno died and then Gilbert when Kopi passed. The only answer I can think of is to compare the pain of my loss when I let them go to the life of feelings they would experience in a different home without that love and care. My pain is pale in comparison to the lifetime they spent, however long or short in a home where they were wanted and treasured. Daisy may have had adversity but she led a charmed life to be loved so much in your home.

Now you have me snorting with laughter. There must be an old wife's tale about that. Oh, maybe I am the old wife of that tale. As to the original question, Gilbert was a boy for his first decade by guessing methods, a female now for 20 months due to a blood drop analysis DNA.

Even though I have been prepared to follow through forever, it sure helps knowing there are those of you who have gone before me and reached a better place for the little souls who found their way into our living rooms and hearts. As is her pattern, Gil gets out and about and I take her a little further and then she retreats and gathers her nerve again. Maybe for Dorian to go to the basement with you, you could put him in his travel cage. Gil loves her travel cage and as I am rearranging my house and finishing the outdoor patio downstairs, I will be spending a lot more time down there. I put the travel cage up on a heavy duty plastic folding table with telescoping legs. That makes it taller than a kitchen counter and seems to give her the security she needs. As time goes on and I see her developing a bond with David, I am so pleased. They both need this relationship and every little advancement we make in getting her to decide she wants to stay with us is cause for celebration.

We have been having a little forward motion in Miss Gilbert's family interactions. She has been climbing the stairs from the new vantage point of her cage positioned on that wall. If David goes over there and sits with her she is in her glory. Because of the way her cage blocks her view of my chair, she thinks she is really getting away with something. Even while David is traveling she goes and sits on the steps. They are carpeted, but clean up easily enough and she isn't doing any damage, so I am giving her some leeway to see where she is going with this. Also, she is getting more courage about staying outside on her cage top when I am in the room. I have been walking up to her and blocking her quickest route to dash into her cage and then offer my hand to step up and she has been stepping up from the cage top to my hand. I know this is by trickery and not entirely her willingness to be with me. But, I will take what I can get and try to break through and do things differently. I take her to the sofa with me. The arm is wide and flat. I give her treats, and then offer to take her back. When we stand up, I take her to the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, dining room and tell her about things in the room. She has been really calm and wide-eyed but she has not been shaking as she would do previously. She has even been talking while she is on the arm of the sofa. Well... talking is being generous. She is making a sound very much like an agitated Donald Duck. I am quite sure it is meant to scare me senseless and to leave her alone, but she is good natured about it and has been doing some real talking too. Mostly "Ready? Are you ready?" Inevitably it gets to "ready to go back?" and then I don't have the heart to keep her from the safety of returning to her happy place.

Dorian is about a year ahead of Miss Gilbert on his "blossoming". On one hand, it has taken so much patience and trust building to get him to this place where he can feel safe to openly defy you. While you don't want that to become your status quo, I think I might get a baby cam with a monitor and leave his little ragged tail feathers in there until he asks nicely to come with you. My philosophy is to always leave 'em wanting more. If you have time to leave him and still keep an eye that he isn't dismantling the room and setting up pranks on you, let him cool his heels in there for a bit. To be honest, he might have a little grumpfest to show you that you were spending too much time enjoying yourself with that play. How did that go, by the way?

Condolences to you and your family, you have had too many losses in recent times. I understand the feeling of not wanting to put yourself out there again for a while. It takes a long time to grieve and heal, each to his own time and other stressors in life. No one knows the depth of caring you have poured into your pets and kids like you do. Take your time and be kind to yourself as you appreciate Sophie and Ollie and the love they give each other and to you.

Goodness, I don't know how I missed this thread. She is just the most vulnerable, sweet little wizen little creature. I never saw our Timneh, Miss Gilbert as a hatchling or in her youth. She is a multiple rehomed mature girl, LOL. There is something about looking into those little faces to see the promise and wonder. Looking at her helps soften me to Miss Gilbert as she takes her merry old grey time to adjust and open up to the offer of being our beloved friend.

He has done very well for his initial transition. I would have expected some hair raising growls and reluctance to eat at first. For him to come from his travel cage to his main cage, to take food from your hand is a really good sign. To top it off by asking you for a scritch is just heartwarming and encouraging. I am so happy for this to be the introduction to your home. When Miss Gilbert came home she looked a lot like he does now, with her little fluffy grey underwear showing some wear. Even if he stays this way forever, he would be adorable. I am looking forward to following your progress. Congrats on the adoption and successful transfer.

Aw, so sorry for the loss of your littlest ones. It is very sweet how much they bonded with the cage mate, and sad to see them left behind. Losing two at a time is rough too. No matter how big, no matter how small their lives mattered and its good to know they had happy homes while you loved them in your homes.

Stephen, your willingness to step back and analyze, try new things and to help Isaac find his place in the world is heartwarming. I have faith that you will find the balance to help both of you find the right amount of attention, touching in the most effective ways and the way the seasons affect him. You are tuned in to your boy and are the best friend he could have. I admire your willingness to look at the big picture and to try new things, eliminate old things and to determine how to help Isaac. I enjoy all your posts.

Welcome to Grey Forums. The picture on your avatar of Chappie is such a cute baby. I couldn't open the two links to see your photos on the original post. There doesn't seem to be a space between them so it may be trying to run the two links into one. We definitely would love to see photos of your homeland. There are two rooms here that would do well for those. One is the photography room and the other is off topic discussions. There is nothing as rewarding as to watch a new grey become bonded and to create a family/flock with his humans. It is magical to see the difference between adopting a family member for life and bringing home a new pet. Chappie is a lucky little parrot. Blessings to your family.

Its so good to have an update from you and Inara. She is charming and an integral part of your heart and soul. You are both so blessed for you to be her chosen one. You are devoted to making her life the best it can be and she shines from your attention.

Not only does Bailey know, he knows that you know that he knows. And as complex as they are, he could decipher that and go in a bigger circle of knowing. I think that is why we love our greys so much, they are complex and individual and brilliant.

Welcome to Grey Forums Jessica. We love to share our greys and other parrots too. Glad you have an interest. We are looking forward to having you as a new family member.