katana600

You can do this. In the darkest weeks after losing Juno, it was the song you sang so beautifully with Dorian "Just Breathe" that even to this day, I hear in my mind in rough days, through hard decisions and through all the worst days of being a hospice care provider for loved ones. This night is what you have to rest and nurture your body and soothe your soul. Hear your own voice singing and give to yourself the kindness I so often feel on my shoulder from you. You will do this. It will get better.

Thanks Marguerite, that's a good idea. Coincidentally, today I bought a very old Singer Featherweight portable to be my upstairs piecing machine. Miss Gilbert does seem so much more comfortable inside a cage than on a perch or away from her cage. This trip, I switched things up a bit at my sister's home. I put super confident, outgoing Java in the big cage we leave set up there. I put Gilbert in the small cage right beside Java on a table. It was the best setup we have tried. I will put the travel cage downstairs and see what kind of response I get from her. We have seen a sweet side of Gil and that could be that she enjoyed the security of a smaller enclosure, which has given her an inner reserve to cope with changes. It's so very complex. She reaches out and seems happy to offer a step up to David. Following that positive encounter, she fell asleep in her cage after a really long session of contented beak grinding. The next morning she chewed off feathers and plucked downy feathers. It's two steps forward and one step back. Even happy changes are stressful. Each time she trusts, she withdraws. Each time she bounces back just a little faster and a little higher. I came home this morning from a brief outing and couldn't wait to see her face again. Overall we are gaining and its worth all the thinking, changing approach, and listening to others with complex characters living in their homes. I can hardly wait until the day she steals my tea mug or rearranges my sewing table.

All that head wagging says No, No, No. It was cute to see Talon's little head pop up a couple of times.

Thanks Judy, good thing she is cute because she is complicated. :-) As she has been taking this leap of faith and coming away from her cage she is showing signs of stress plucking. I found a little snow storm under her cage last night. Usually, I back away but we have a little more common ground and trust now. We haven't pushed her but in her case just asking for a step up and walking a few feet away in sight of her cage is frightening. Bless her little heart, she is really trying.

That boy has all the moves. He is a beautiful little fellow. And look at you showing your poetic side, very creative.

That is her look of curiosity without anxiety. Moments like that have been hard won and it makes my heart sing with the memory of sharing that time with her.

Miss Gilbert just loves her number one naughty word "sh%!". My brother-in-law, Mike has the sweetest disposition and I have seldom heard him raise his voice. While we were staying there he started to toss a ball and their young German shepherd got too excited and grabbed it while it was still in his hand. He was startled and he yelled at her. My sister chided him and Gil piped up with an incredulous "Sheeeit Mike!" When all the young kids gathered for the holidays someone made a loud fart sound and Gilbert again with disdain asked "Who sheeit on the floor". It's her favorite go-to but the timing and emphasis is too perfect to get mad at her for it. ... And she knows it.

Last night Gil girl spontaneously offered David a step up and then willingly came to sit on my knee. She was calm and for a rare sight, she was not shaking in fear. Every time we leave and come home she takes another leap of faith. How could anyone not love this face?

That's a good observation Val, and food for thought. Gil is no longer a fragile, fearful little being. Gradually and slowly she has learned to calm herself in unfamiliar situations. I've been looking at it from a human perspective and doing everything I can to reassure her and build trust as we allow her new situations that help her have positive experiences that build up her confidence, sense of self reliance and resilience. But, at the same time I notice she is at the edge of panic, like when I take her downstairs to the perch in my sewing room. Then inevitably she trembles, pleads to go back and I comply to alleviate her stress. I think I will try a new approach now that she is becoming more self assured. I will give that some thought to find a compromise we both can embrace. Thanks for the insight. Love this forum for all the encouragement and new ideas. Miss Gilbert is definitely the beneficiary of our combined efforts.

Hello Hade1930. We would love to welcome you to our forum and get to know you better. To get started, scroll to the top of this page and see the grey line with "Home Forum and What's New". Click on Forum, then Welcome and Introduction Room. Then you may see a "Post New Thread" in a blue selection box. I remember when this was my first forum and I was overwhelmed with choices. It is great to have new members and learn more to help our greys collectively gain from cooperation and sharing online.

In four years with this complex little bundle which is Miss Gilbert I have had one theory after another dashed and disproved as I try to understand her and meet her half way. Now I am beginning to believe that each car journey and extended stay away from home is a restart of her "honeymoon" period. She is charming and soooo quiet, calm and pleasant to everyone. One might think she loves to travel. My theory at the moment is - when faced with the unknown and unfamiliar she is on her very best behavior. She is on a reconnaissance mission. She is studying the landscape, scoping out dangers and pitfalls and taking in every perceptible nuance of human behavior from her access to more subjects. Something has given her the idea that I am suspect. Maybe she associates me original appearance with sudden change where others now come and go therefore they are not disruptive. Each time we return home she seems to relax from her constant vigilance. Maybe she is just too exhausted to keep up her guard. All I know is she seems much happier now that she is back but she has a deep distrust regarding me. That really isn't any change, I do see the nearly imperceptible softening of her resolve. Sigh. Someday. In grey time.

So glad you are keenly observant and have a great vet to help Sully through his eye injury. He sure seems to have no adverse effect from the trip to the vet. That picture says it all.

I enjoy the clever distractions our forum members devise to thwart the clever distractions our greys construct for us. Round and round, I've lost track of who is in the lead in our house.

There isn't much I can add except to echo the concerns of others. Hope Sully has had some relief for his eye troubles and for you to have relief from worrying about him too.

It is good to be home. It seems every time we leave and return, Miss Gilbert settles back in faster than I can. We had visitors this weekend. Our daughter brought home her long time beloved and he asked for our approval and blessings on their plans to be married. We have spent time with him several times but this was their first trip to our home. I had Java out of her cage and she stepped right onto his hand and before I could warn him, he reached out and scratched her head. Next, Gil had climbed out of her cage for the first time in the days since we returned. She stepped up to my hand which stunned me and then she made the offer of her foot raised to step onto his hand too. She has always liked Rachel and put her seal of approval on Andrés as well. We are going to have two weddings this year!

Look, I think Greycie Mae fixed the computer issue! Great job there! Very funny and clever post. Thanks.

Welcome to you and Congo. It's an honor to know someone with the length of time and depth of experience you and Congo can share.

You had me smitten at the description of him sleeping on your chest getting head scratches. Our baby days were cut short and thinking back on those close moments are so endearing. Ajahni does sound a lot like Johnny, he is a lucky boy in finding a home with you. What a sweet adorable little face he has.

Oh happy day! We made the homeward trek from Bradford PA to Suwanee GA just ahead of the ice and snow. We had to stop in Charlotte NC to retrieve hubby's car from the airport. It rained the entire thousand mike journey and took longer than usual. Both dogs and both parrots are good travelers and its much less disruptive to them to drive straight through. We landed at home about 3:30 am yesterday. Miss Gilbert is in high spirits and although she must be as weary as the rest of us she has been cheerful and vocal about being home. Sure she likes that smaller travel cage! Ha! I cleaned the big cage before we left. It is completely barren but for perches and food dishes. Usually I would set it up before putting her in. On the first day home I had to run out for fresh bird food. We thought we would be gone for a week and it was closer to eight. I had to resort to the chain pet store seed mix. She and Java both were happy in the big cages without a single toy as they slept off the travel lag. Gil has eagerly rushed to her favored "scratch" perch and wants me to rub her head every chance she gets. Funny when I heard myself reassure her over and over "Gilbert is home" at 5:30 this morning it crossed my mind that mantra is the name of her thread started after her first thousand mile car trip.

Nothing would please me more than to be able to have her wild and free moments become so common that I could move from my spot as I watch her without making a move that would stop her enjoyment. Every time I get out the camera she responds like a character in a witness protection drug cartel movie. First she will try to shy away from the camera and turn her head away. If I persist, I can expect her to rush me like the rat paparazzi looking to expose her to the world. I will have to look up my most recent attempt to video a happy moment. She gets downright surly.

If nothing else, I breathe a sigh of relief knowing "it isn't just me". I have had four or five mouth guards since getting my braces off recently. My regular dentist is patient and keeps trying. As you say, I wake up in the night and notice its gone. I find it in strange places with no memory of getting up. Small changes pester me more than the average person. If a neighbor gets a new outside light I will wake up and get up for months until my brain finally accepts it is not a signal that something is amiss. No wonder we are so tuned in to our grey feathered friends. Be kind and patient to yourself. Consider what you would say to Dorian if something troubled him in the night. Let your inner voice e soothing and keep trying. When you awaken without your mask, turn off the machine. Turn it back on and start fresh from there. A day will dawn when you slowly realize it was on all night. Take small steps and recognize and give yourself small rewards for success no matter how small. You can do this.

Ray, we have missed your smiling, gregarious self as you find your way in the void left by your beloved Cricket. As you get back on your feet, dare to trust yourself to the idea of greeting and playing with another Amazons. If you feel like moving forward would be an affront to Cricket, think about that light in your eyes, smile on your face and spring in your step that comes from remembering your love of your special girl. It's a tribute and honor to her memory when the happiness you gained overcomes the grief of her loss. I was just visiting today with Agatha, a Mealy Amazon. When she did the signature purring and call of an Amazon, I wanted to give her a hug myself.

It might be fun to get him a cup of his own without a lid while you protect yours. My happiest "first" with Gilgirl was when we learned about limeade from Val and Phenix and it enticed Gil to share with me. That was the first step she made toward me as a truce. It may be a brain-storming problem solver to keep Dorian from harmful effects of your cup. It may be just as troublesome to protect your fingers when he claims ownership of your cup. It gives me the greatest joy and hope to know you have earned his trust and he feels safe enough to challenge you.

When we got Miss Gilbert, she had been rehomed a few times and she spent a year sitting daily in one spot like a sentinel. No matter what we offered, she couldn't be coaxed or cajoled. Your little lady is very pretty. They say the way to an Amazon's heart is through her stomach. She may be motivated by food. There are others with more experience with Amazons to offer suggestions too. With slow and steady incentives you will have your little lady doing jazzercise. Have you tried playing music?

I wouldn't know for sure about the tea, but be sure not to use artificial sweetener. It is so delightful to follow what you and Dorian are up to. I think he can READ! He sees the tag for Earl Grey and thinks it is for him, and finally someone has learned his proper title for the royal fellow he sees in himself.