Acappella

Well...........It took four years for Dorian to step up from inside his cage. They can be stubborn willful little creatures, but that's one of the things we love about them. First he stepped up from a perch on the outside of his cage, and we worked with that for a couple of years. I never ever stopped asking for step ups from inside the cage. I'd offer, he'd refuse, and I'd just shrug and tell him 'ok maybe later' and walk away. Eventually his desire to be with me overcame his fear of leaving his cage.

Dorian is DohDoh, feather head, pumpkin, bossy feathers, demando.

Actually, I see a lot of Dorian in Sam. Dorian is extremely timid, cautious even for a grey. I've let him lead the way and we've come an incredible distance together. He's a different bird than the one that arrived here years ago, confident and secure. I think it's because I've waited for him to come to me. He decided when he would venture out of his cage, when he would accept toys, step up, let me carry him to another room. You have to follow your instinct because you're in the room with him.

Lots of deep breathing .If you and your family can stay calm there's a better chance Momo will calm down. Remember I warned you that the screaming may get worse first. Momo is trying to figure out why what worked before isn't working now. It's actually a good sign in my opinion. If you can stay calm and consistant now he'll eventually figure out that screaming more isn't getting your attention and that's when he'll start to try other things. Just keep telling yourself 'I'm solving this problem' and, of course, come here to vent and type scream when you need to. We'll cheer you on.

Dorian here. I gotta type fast before mama sees me. She never lets me near the computer 'cause she says I have bad office manners! I thought the keyboard looked better without all those extra keys. Sheesh! I hope Gilbert gets brave enough to visit here again. I've got some things to say to him. Gilbert, dude, brother from another mama, you gotta chill! You even look worried in your picture. Look, I know how it is. My first months and years here with mama I was even more nervous than you. If there was a noise I'd jump. If mama carried something into the room without warning me I'd jump. If the commercial on the tv thing was louder than the show I'd jump. You get the picture. I didn't leave my room for years because I was afraid to let mama carry me around. Turns out she was just trying to show me other neat places in the house I could decorate. Oh, and the little room with the waterfall that echos when I make my loudest noises. Love that place, as long as mama doesn't try to get me wet. Think of all the fun I was missing out on. Now, as long as mama tells me I'm safe I know I can relax and go with the flow (still don't like the tv thing though). So just watch your flock. If they tell you it's safe, trust them. I've been reading here and they seem like really cool birds. 'Course now that I want to leave my room mama won't always let me. I ask her what she's doing and she keeps saying 'I'm packing'. Then she goes away for hours to something called 'new house'. I don't know what's going on really, but I'm handling it better than Jac the cat. He came in a couple of hours ago and told me he pooped on mama's bed in protest. Silly cat. You can let mama know you're mad about something by beating up on toys or throwing food. No need to stoop to that level.

This is the cutest set of pictures ever. Also a pretty concise way of summing up life with a grey. Think you'll ever do anything again without interference/help? Think again.

You're doing great. It is worth it in the end. They are smart and they will figure it out. The more consistent you are the faster they'll get the message. I'm glad the earplugs are helping. They're not meant to totally block the noise, just take the edge off so you don't go completely crazy. After all, you want to hear when Momo finally makes a "good" noise so you can respond and praise the heck out of him. Like Kave70 said, you can come here to vent all you want during this training. Many of us have been exactly where you are we can cheer you and your husband on during the rough patches. Again, you're doing a great thing and you're a great parront! <3

Welcome to the forum. I love your first family portrait!

Trust you, Dan, to see the bright side.

Tape gun, in the key of AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I don't think there's any way to go but to take on the landlord. He/she has to provide a habital space for rent. Keep up your end legally eg. pay the rent, make sure the place is spotless, so you look golden and the landlord, not so much. Can you get a letter from your previous landlord stating that there was no roach problem with you or your previous home? In Canada there are strong landlord\tenant laws and places where you can take conflicts that will make them live up to their responsibilities. I'm sure it's the same in the States. If you can get them to bring in professionals I would board your bird outside the home for at least a week. Get things out of boxes and into sealed plastic bins or bags. Wash linens and then store them in vacuum bags (We can get them here in $ stores so not as expensive as Space Bags brand name). Take out the garbage every day. Pull everything out of the cupboards and give them a good clean, then wipe clean with vinegar and water. Pull the appliances out from the wall. You might even unscrew the back plate from the stove and give it a good thourough vaccum. Maybe before you put the appliance back you could lay down double sided tape along the wall. Carpet tape is stickier than anything so if you use it make the floor-down side a little less sticky by blotting it on some fabric first. Otherwise you'll be cursing my name when you try to pull it off the floor. lol Also, inspect under all the sinks in the house. If there are any gaps around the hole where the pipes enter the house get some caulking or expanding foam and seal them. (Ask at the home inprovement store which kind is best). Same around windows, especially basement windows. Or, you could do what some guy friends did when I was in college. Get a bunch of people together, turn off the lights for 10 minutes, and then award a prize to the person who stomps the most bugs when the lights come back on. (It doesn't have to be beer, that was just the prize of choice amongst jazz students in the '80's!)

So glad you started a new thread to tell us the news. I couldn't read your original post because I was so upset for you. Waiting for the happy story.

Well, how long did you do it? You've gotta think in Grey time. If this sounds harsh it's not meant that way, but somehow, you've been reinforcing this behaviour for 2 years. Remember, greys like drama, so even yelling 'stop' in frustration will be seen as a reinforcement. "oh, listen to the fun noise mom made, and her face got allllllll red, that was fun!" I mean IGNORE. If you can't leave the room, turn your back and don't turn around until babalu is either quiet or makes a sound you like/can live with. Make a sad face before you leave or turn your back and make your body language sad, then when there's a happy sound react with happy sounds/face and body language. It becomes a game. They like the fun response so they try to figure out what they do that gets that response. The reason it gets worse before it gets better is because, like a kid who gets louder and louder, they're thinking "this always worked before, maybe they can't hear me" Then it's "Hey, can't you hear what I'm doing here. We have a deal, I make this sound and I get some sort of attention or reward" I know the high pitched chirp you speak of. Dorian has gone through phases with it, usually in response to stress I'm going through and he can sense. I literally walk around muttering "I am not answering that!" to myself to keep myself from telling him to STOP! (Good thing I live alone). Again, think in grey time. They live for decades, he's been doing this for 2 years, it might take a couple of weeks to fix. What's a couple weeks when you're dealing with such a long-lived companion? Well, it seems like a long time while you're going through it but really, it isn't. My only guarantee? The less rigid you and all the rest of the human part of the flock are about following the program the longer it will take, so your biggest challenge is getting everyone firmly on board the behaviour modification train. <3

I can't give you the whole spiel right now, but do a search here on extinguishing sounds. Basically you have to ignore the sound you don't like 100% of the time, and reward immediately either with a treat or attention every time babalu makes a sound you'd prefer. Everyone in the house has to be on board with the plan. Like I said to a member recently, if you respond after an hour of him making the 'bad' sound, you just taught him he needs to do it for an hour! It can be done. The annoying sound may ramp up and get worse first so for sanity's sake I recommend foam ear plugs to take the edge off. You can still hear if he makes a good sound, but it takes the edge off the bad. Lots of people here have had to go through this, some of us more than once, so we're here to cheer you on. The good news? It's a very successful solve to a common problem. You can do it!

Well, it's the fact that the breeder is pushing you taking your baby home early that is making me wonder. Do they need the $. If the original deal was for a weaned bird and full payment when you bring baby home they need to stick to their deal. Is the breeder close enough for you to visit on a regular basis? Something about this is making my uncomfortable. As for covering, Dorian has his own room so all I need is good curtains and a night light for him at bedtime. Do they cover the birds at the breeders?

Welcome to the forum. If your bird is a rehome, you might also find some good info in the Rescue and Rehome room. Lots of us here have taken on 'birds with baggage' and we can cheer you along the road to gaining trust, in grey time.

Like my friend Dan says, when he is invited to go out and doesn't feel like being social he tells himself that is the disease trying to bully him, to isolate him. He posted this on facebook a couple of days ago.

Don't despair. It took about 8 months of moving the boing closer and closer to Dorian's cage before he stopped regarding it as a potential parrot killing device. Probably was another 4-5 months before he tried getting on it. Now it's a big-time love.

You're definately not alone. I've dealt with depression since my teens. (I'm almost 46) I was diagnosed with bipolar2 disorder when I was 21 and I've been on medication since then, aside from a brief period in my 30's when I went off it under Dr. Supervision. I build up a tolerance to meds pretty quickly so I'll get on a med, stabalize, start to go down, increase dosage, until I'm at maximum dosage. Then it's time to try a new med. This spring I was placed on a psychiatric hold for the first time ever, just for 18 hours, because of ongoing stress and suicidal thinking. I've also dealt with panic attacks. I had them under control for about 7 yrs but they came back with a bang this winter. So I know what you're dealing with. I can tell you what works for me. Since I've been dealing with this disease for so long, I know what the signs are that my mood is deteriorating. eg. Not singing along with the radio, not wanting to play piano or music. Or I'll be driving along on a perfectly nice day and have a random thought like 'I could drive into that tree'. I know to reach out for help right away, not to try to tough it out or pull myself out of it 'cause I know it doesn't work. I mean, seriously, would you try to cure yourself of appendicitis? I always have the phone #'s of distress lines at hand. I also have a doctor who works with me and listens to me. My close friends all know that I struggle sometimes and know to take me seriously if I tell them I'm in trouble. When you shed a light on depression and mental illness you take away some of it's power. I have a friend who also has clinical depression. He believes the worst thing the disease of depression does is it tries to isolate you, so the biggest thing you can do to fight it is to build a support network that is a big and as strong as possible. When he is down and not feeling like going out to meet with friends he tells himself that it is the disease, trying to cut him off from people, and that helps him put one foot in front of the other and get out the door. So keep reaching out. It does help. <3

A great man and a great musician and his wife were killed in a head-on car crash near Millville Nova Scotia on Thursday night. The man who caused the accident died at the scene as well. Their oldest daughter was a passenger in the back seat and will recover, at least physically. I knew Dave McKeough back in the 80's when we studied music together in Toronto. He was part of the Facebook community for our college, but I never 'friended' him because I was afraid he wouldn't remember me. He was so far above me in musical ability that I was a little intimidated by his talent, even though he was truly one of the nicest guys in the program. Seems silly now that I'll never get the chance. The accident happened in full daylight on a straight, flat stretch of highway. The man who caused the accident was trying to pass a pickup truck towing a utility trailer by going onto the soft shoulder to the truck's right. He clipped the trailer, lost control of his car and drove right into Dave and Donna's oncoming car. The same driver had sideswiped another car a couple of kilometres back and kept on going. There have been 7 people killed on this stretch of highway in the past year, and the only reason seems to be drivers trying to pass other cars and making reckless driving manouvers. I am so angry that two great people, parents of three kids, community leaders, teachers, are gone just because someone was in a hurry. I know from now on when I see reckless driving I'm going to do more than shake my head. If I can get their license plate I'm going to call the non emergency police # and report them, just like I do when I suspect an impaired driver. RIP Dave and Donna

"What's it all about, Alfieeeeeeeeeeeeeee" (Sorry, had to sing that as part of my grad. recital decades ago) Welcome to the forum.

Well, if Charlie and Paco aren't meant to be your birds it just means there's something else out there waiting for you. Sad, isn't it, how many birds are in homes where they aren't wanted anymore. Thank you in advance for offering a forever home to some fid out there.

Welcome to the forum. You won't believe how much a grey will change your life. They are a lot of work, but a happy healthy grey is a companion that will make you laugh every day. I believe you're wise to let her finish weening at the breeder's. MBS is rampant around here, although so far I remain immune. Zon's are a whole other kettle of fish. We have a room devoted to them if you want to get an idea about life with an amazon. Greys can be scared by children because of their quick movements and loud noises. Four is old enough, IMHO, to understand that the parrot is a baby and that you have to be calm and gentle around it. You'll just have to supervise out-of-cage time carefully since both the kids and the parrot are capable of injuring each other. Beyond that, if your kids make any noises that drive you crazy you can be guaranteed that your grey will pick them up and repeat them at CAG volume. lol

There's something about your bird that makes me think it's a she. When do you get the DNA report back?

Oh no, another potential MBS victim. Welcome to you and whomever brings their feathers to your home.