TalonSis

The other day we saw this bird near our birdfeeder, and today I got some pictures of it. It's a male Grosbeak. Hopefully its here to stay! Melissa<br><br>Post edited by: TalonSis, at: 2007/06/30 19:53

A seventy year old retired school teacher, now a widower, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you." Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, where did you get the tools?" "Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron..I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is stunned "Let's row over to my place," she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?" "No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet." No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?" She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean.... " he swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes. Don't tell me you've built a Golf Course"

The Zen of Sarcasm 01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the heck alone. 02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt. 03. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. 06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 09. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment. 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together . 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The Perfect Pet A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The owner says, "How about a dog?" The man replies, "A dog? That's so ordinary! And a dog can't do everything!" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!" The owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it -- a centipede!" The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything. But, okay ... I'll try a centipede." He gets the centipede home and says to it, "Clean the kitchen." Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and it's immaculate. All the dishes and silverware have been washed, polished, dried and put away. The countertops have been cleaned. The appliances are sparkling. The floor has been waxed. He's absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper." The centipede walks out the door. Ten minutes later, no centipede. Twenty minutes later, no centipede. Thirty minutes later, no centipede. The man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. Forty-five minutes later, still no centipede! The man can't imagine what happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Finally, he goes to the front door and opens it... and there's the centipede sitting right outside the door. The man says, "Hey! I sent you 45 minutes ago to run down to the corner and get me a newspaper. What's the story?" The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! Just putting on my shoes!"<br><br>Post edited by: TalonSis, at: 2007/06/30 01:40

Oops double post...<br><br>Post edited by: TalonSis, at: 2007/06/30 01:55

Cat Scan A woman took her dog to the vet. "Doctor," she said, "I think my dog is dead." The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan." --------------------------- Flea Market A prominent scientist conducted a very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving it a verbal command ("Jump!"). In the first stage of the experiment he removed the flea's leg, told it to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: "Upon removing one leg, all flea organs function properly." So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, it obeyed, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the second leg, all flea organs function properly." Then he removed the last leg, told the flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the legless flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: "Upon removing the last leg, the flea loses sense of hearing." ------------- Two guys meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens." "Chickens, eh?" says one of the guys. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?" "Heck," says the guy with the bag, "if you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em." The other scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?"

Oh here's a much better joke... -------- A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears: ! BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog h e makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him FASTER... FASTER... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... on his heels, the terrified man runs. Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... and, (hopefully you're ready for this!!!) The coffin stops Melissa

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb... -------- A Blonde's Cooking Diary MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I Made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs Separately. The neighbors were nice enough to lend Me some extra bowls. TUESDAY: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't Dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend Home for supper. WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe Said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It Seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I Can't say it improved the rice any. THURSDAY: Today Tom asked for salad again. I Tried a new recipe.. It said prepare ingredients, lay On a bed of lettuce one hour be fore serving. Tom Asked me why I was rolling around in the garden. FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this Recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as When I left. SATURDAY: Tom did the shopping today and Brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Tom keeps counting To ten. SUNDAY: Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted To serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the Hamburger in the oven and set the controls for Roast. It still came out hamburger, much to My disappointment. GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very Exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I Can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom Into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise Him with chocolate moose.

You know you are an e-mail addict when... 1) You wake up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 2) You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Internet Explorer 2.0 or higher." 3) You name your children Eudora, Mozillia and Dotcom. 4) You turn off your computer and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one. 5) You spend half the plane trip with your laptop on your lap and your child in the overhead compartment. 6) You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access. 7) You laugh at people with dial-up. 8) You start using smilies in snail mail. 9) Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem .... and you succeed. 10) You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com 11) You refer to going to the bathroom as "downloading." 12) You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com." 13) Your cat has its own home page. 14) All of your friends have an @ in their names. 15) You can't call your mother .... she doesn't have a modem. 16) You check your e-mail. It says "No new messages." So you check it again. 17) Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box. 18) You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape. 19) You tell the cab driver you live at http://1000.Madison.ridge/house/brick.html" 20) You get up at 4:45 am and login so you can use the computer before your husband gets up and hogs it for the rest of the day! Melissa<br><br>Post edited by: TalonSis, at: 2007/06/29 04:20

:lol: Maybe I should fool around with some of Talon's pictures...we all know how well I did on CD's hair. Melissa

I figured it would be cute to have a post of all your grey's baby pictures, and then a picture of what they look like now. Or even just an early picture of them. This is the picture the breeder sent us: Here is Talon around when we brought her home: And here is Talon now: http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_3773.jpg {Nature-00020095} Melissa<br><br>Post edited by: TalonSis, at: 2007/06/24 16:38

Thanks CD!

I got a new lens!! http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y156/Wild_Horsefeathers/My%20Pictures/IMG_3849.jpg http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y156/Wild_Horsefeathers/My%20Pictures/IMG_3861.jpg http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y156/Wild_Horsefeathers/My%20Pictures/IMG_3886.jpg http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y156/Wild_Horsefeathers/My%20Pictures/IMG_3891.jpg ^uh oh time to cut back on his grain... http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y156/Wild_Horsefeathers/My%20Pictures/IMG_3892.jpg http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y156/Wild_Horsefeathers/My%20Pictures/IMG_3904.jpg http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y156/Wild_Horsefeathers/My%20Pictures/IMG_3916.jpg Melissa

Now normally its all dark when its clean, not just the edges. All that light grey stuff, its DUST/DIRT! Just think, you could be breathing that in. :blink: Melissa

I got some more pictures of Talon today... http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_3756.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_3758.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_3760.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_3773.jpg Melissa<br><br>Post edited by: TalonSis, at: 2007/06/16 20:38

Hey CD, is there any reason why when I'm using the flash/lumiquest, the normal, upright position(for the camera) comes out brighter than the vertical shots? Melissa

Here are some other Talon pictures from a while ago: http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_0004.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_0214.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_0125.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_2225.jpg Melissa

Here's a couple of my entries!!! B) http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_3034.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_2981.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_2768.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_2545.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_2534.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_2422.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_2427.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_2345.jpg http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s98/talon1013/IMG_2221.jpg You guys better stop fighting and get snapping, or I'm gonna win that money! :whistle: :silly: Melissa

Thanks CD. :blush:

CD....look at this. I am in shock at how good it looks. :laugh: Karla, all of us can tell you care about Tequila very much. {Love-0002011E} Melissa

More pictures Alright this is the aquarium now.... ^part of a whale I'll do the others from the aquarium later, I'm tired. Melissa

Thanks CD. What do you do to blow your pictures up? Send them off somewhere?

Here are the first patch of pictures from my trip: ^This is the C.W. Morgan, a whaleing boat. ^another ship from the Morgan, I forget the name. ^The Amistad, we didnt go on this one. (I dont think) ^A boat in this building, we were hiding from the rain. These were from the seaport, I have more later.

yes it was raining, but I mostly took pictures inside. When my lens is zoomed in the smallest aperture is 5.0, and when its zoomed out its 3.5 I tihnk.

Ok here's another question. How do you take pictures in lowlight, without a flash? I had this problem alot on my field trip, so I ended up using Aperture piority for the light. And that made it delay sometimes, so they didnt come out as great. I'll get a picture up tomorrow, I'm too tired to upload them. Melissa