Debating - Don't lose your cool or friend

[danmcq]

Hi All,

 

Since we have finally had a few real debates start on this Forum. Which are healthy and cerebrally challenging. I thought I would just post some important ideas and information to consider. :-)

 

Tips for debating:

 

Avoid the use of Never.

Avoid the use of Always.

Refrain from saying you are wrong.

You can say your idea is mistaken.

Don't disagree with obvious truths.

Attack the idea not the person.

Use many rather than most.

Avoid exaggeration.

Use some rather than many.

The use of "often" allows for exceptions.

The use of "generally" allows for exceptions.

Quote sources and numbers.

If it is just an opinion, admit it.

Do not present opinion as facts.

Smile when disagreeing. :-)

Stress the positive.

You do not need to win every battle to win the war.

Concede minor or trivial points.

Avoid bickering, quarreling, and wrangling.

Watch your tone of voice.

Don't win a debate and lose a friend.

Keep your perspective - You're just debating.

 

Some Tips on what a disruptor may do or just some comical tips for you to use :-)

 

Turn someone’s generality into an absolute. For example, if someone makes a general statement that Americans celebrate Christmas, point out that some people are Jewish and so anyone who thinks that ALL Americans celebrate Christmas is stupid. (Bonus points for accusing the person of being anti-Semitic.)

 

Turn someone’s factual statements into implied preferences. For example, if someone mentions that not all Catholic priests are pedophiles, accuse the person who said it of siding with pedophiles.

 

Turn factual statements into implied equivalents. For example, if someone says that Ghandi didn’t eat cows, accuse the person of stupidly implying that cows deserve equal billing with Gandhi.

 

Omit key words. For example, if someone says that people can’t eat rocks, accuse the person of being stupid for suggesting that people can’t eat. Bonus points for arguing that some people CAN eat pebbles if they try hard enough.

 

Assume the dumbest interpretation. For example, if someone says that he can run a mile in 12 minutes, assume he means it happens underwater and argue that no one can hold his breath that long.

 

Hallucinate entirely different points. For example, if someone says apples grow on trees, accuse him of saying snakes have arms and then point out how stupid that is.

 

Use the intellectual laziness card. For example, if someone says that ice is cold, recommend that he take graduate courses in chemistry and meteorology before jumping to stupid conclusions that display a complete ignorance of the complexity of ice.

 

Remember, we are friends on this forum due to the commonality of our Greys. We all hold deeply rooted opinions and beliefs.

 

If you do not want to debate, then don't.

 

If you don't like the way a debate is going. Stop reading it. Just read the multitude of other topics on this forum.

 

Peace - <br><br>Post edited by: danmcq, at: 2007/09/16 16:01

[Toni]

That's a smart way of puting it Dan !!! You go dude !!!I know I stopped reading a post.

[lovemyGreys]

Very well put Dan If debating is not for you take a step back & just read the thread.We all have opinions & as adults we should conduct ourselves in the appropriate manner.

[nevjoe]

<br><br>Post edited by: nevjoe, at: 2008/04/09 05:42

[danmcq]

LOL - Good one Joe :-)

[Tari]

Id like to add only post to the debate when and if you have something new to say and not repeat the same thing over and over in your post.

I know that is hard to do but bringing new ideas is what a debate is about not brow beating with just one idea over and over again.

And never imply bad things about people that have different opions.

Remember there is a fine line between debating and baiting. Try not to cross it.

[nevjoe]

<br><br>Post edited by: nevjoe, at: 2008/04/09 05:44

[danmcq]

LOL Joe - You know a lot AND can build Playgrounds plus Cook!!

 

Now that is hard to compete with :-)

[judygram]

I won't debate that, Dan, Joe is a man of many talents.

 

On topic now.

I don't much care for debates so I will leave that for whoever wants that, I am here for fun and fun is what I will have one way or another, anyone want to join me?<br><br>Post edited by: judygram, at: 2007/09/17 04:17

[nevjoe]

<br><br>Post edited by: nevjoe, at: 2008/04/09 05:45

[Guest]

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except for:

Don't disagree with obvious truths.

 

there ain't no such-a-thing, man B)

[Makena]

I agree Judy and Joe... Friends and Fun... And talking about our greys and helping each other!

 

Maybe there should be a debate room?

[Guest briansmum]

well put dan. i do love a good debate myself, but i'm not an expert at it. there is a thin line between debate and argument. the key is knowing when to stop before you cross that line.

[judygram]

Exactly, Beccy.

[lovemyGreys]

Are we debating the debate thread :laugh: :laugh:

 

I too am not one for debating,i will of course like everyone express my views on topics but when debating comes into the equation i feel the fun & friendliness of this forum is lost amidst the debate :side: :silly: :blink:

[judygram]

We are just running our mouth, at least I am, you know me, cannot keep my mouth shut.

 

Fun and friendliness for everyone!!!!!

 

 

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[Guest Monique]

Amen Confucious.

[Talon]

I think we can rest assured. The debating that got a little heated this past weekend, has become a quieter thread. :cheer:

 

Now back to the fun! JUDY......:cheer:

[judygram]

If fun is what you want then fun is what you get. No debate is worth losing your friends over. Forgetaboutit.

[danmcq]

judygram wrote:

If fun is what you want then fun is what you get. No debate is worth losing your friends over. Forgetaboutit.

 

Thus, the reason I started this Topic. ;-)

 

Believe it or not, you are all debating to a small extent right now!! :-)

 

Debate does not mean making enemies. That only happens when ego and anger becomes involved.

 

I personally learn a lot from debated topics and find that some opinions I had were unfounded and untrue, while others were correct.

 

If the debate goes well, all involved will walk away with more knowledge and facts regarding the Topic.

 

The most important thing is, if you don't want to take part in a topic being debated, just ignore it.

 

There are a 1000 others topics you can read and post in. :-)

[nevjoe]

<br><br>Post edited by: nevjoe, at: 2008/04/09 06:12

[loviechick]

Right on Tari, I whole heartedly agree!

[BMustee]

Dan is the man...He is always right...DARN YOU DAN :: shaking fists at the sky ::!!!:laugh: :laugh:

 

I love a good debate, but when people don't open their minds and eyes to the other side and refuse to admit when their point is wrong then it is no longer a debate and becomes a head-butting match...those can be fun but not on a "family forum" setting...cuss words come into play then. :laugh: <br><br>Post edited by: BMustee, at: 2007/09/18 19:45

[Talon]

BMustee wrote:

 

I love a good debate, but when people don't open their minds and eyes to the other side and refuse to admit when their point is wrong then it is no longer a debate and becomes a head-butting match...those can be fun but not on a "family forum" setting...cuss words come into play then. :laugh:

 

 

 

 

This says it all in a nutshell! I completely agree with your statement here. A head-butting match, perfect!<br><br>Post edited by: Talon, at: 2007/09/19 03:14

[judygram]

There will be no head-butting here.

 

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