katana600

What a clever girl! She gets that from her daddy's side of the family. You do have a gorgeous girl.

Sometimes the hardest part of the process is learning we can't "fix" it with love or willpower. Our greys are exquisite companions for their raw intelligence and communication skills. That works against us when we come to the realization that in some ways they surpass our limitations. In our time with Miss Gilbert, I have learned what grey time means and how to pull back and do nothing and wait. It's still the hardest thing and makes me feel all knotted up because I want to help her. It all works out with time, this too shall pass. On a side note, I have read if you get a dog leash the same color as the harness, it helps. You hang it where he can see it, then graduate to making a loop to pass over his head and continue acclimating him, passing it under his wing etc until he accepts it. Then graduate from a practice to the real harness.

Ahhhhh. The happiest, beak grinding, most touching moments are when we least suspect it. As with you , I don't expect anything more from Miss Gilbert than she is willing and capable to give. I rested a moment with your description and if I never have one of those moments it is okay with me as long as I know my little pearl is without fear, secure and as happy as she is able to accept. A brief, vicarious respite with you and Inara warms my heart and soul for another day.

I believe you and Jocke are meant to be. It takes a long time for trust to build. To an African Grey in a new environment, everyone and everything looks like a predator. One thing I read that made sense was to not stare directly at him, turning to watch through one eye. Watch what he does and do what he does for now. If he backs off, you back away too. When you offer food from your hand don't use your fingertip, but the side of your finger instead. It will be less likely for his beak to pierce in that position. Thank you for caring about Jocke and for creating a larger home and for giving him a chance. It has taken some time for Miss Gilbert to respond favorably. Every day is a step closer. It is worth it.

Dear Dr. Starr, Thank you for our friend Janet. This is a great reason to celebrate. Glad it gave you the energy and good health you enjoy still.

Yay for the loot! Toby looks so interested in that fleece. I am going to have to try something like that for Java. Thanks for the idea. We use the soak and simmer. My favorite way to make it is in my rice cooker, after soaking overnight. While it is still warm, I put red palm oil in it. I make enough for a month, fill ziplock snack bags with daily amount, press flat and freeze. Each morning, I take one from the freezer and put it in the fridge to thaw for the next day. The one that is thawed will warm quickly in hot water or 15 seconds in my microwave. Massage the bag to make sure there is no hot spots. I hope your birds live it as much as ours.

I can identify with those moments of exasperation and dismay at seeing a blizzard of shreddings and fluff on the cage liner and in the water dish. We have learned the meaning of grey time with Miss Gilbert. I've always thought it was easier to weather the storm by looking at baby pictures. Whether a frustration with our beloved Miss G-bird or a trying time in the teen years of our two girls those baby pictures are a reminder of how far we have come. This too shall pass and all things will be right again in Isaac's kingdom. He has the best relationship with you and he is your boyeee!

We really wanted our baby to arrive fully flighted. Our breeder highly recommended clipping and clipped his clutch mates. My most treasured memory was the first time I was making breakfast for him and I felt him land on my shoulder for the first time. We already had a smaller flighted parrot, like you. I was so very appreciative of the extra work our breeder has to go through to keep Juno flighted until he was weaned and ready to come home.

This is such great news. I love that he fell into your arms. I bet he had a look like "I meant to do that". There is nothing like the feeling of him landing on your shoulder to watch or rather direct you in "doing things right." I hope to get there one day with Miss Gilbert. For Jake to get closer to your son as well as to you is a good sign you are doing well together. Thanks for the update.

Wow. I was so emotional about the reunion, I didn't even notice that "expert" advice. I agree with your assessment Judy.

Oh Miss Gilbert. My neighbor took me to the annual sale of sales for 75% off light fixtures and we moved several large boxes into the dining room awaiting installation. Well wouldn't you know, I am so thick to have forgotten Gilbert's moving day trigger. She was shouting something I could hear as I went down the sidewalk, but I couldn't quite make out the meaning. She was rattled by the sight of those boxes. She would lift her wings and flap while she ducked and dodged and looked that way. It looked like the classic fight or flight dilemma in slow motion. She continued to shout the same words with great emotion but it was a little garbled and didn't make sense to me. Finally it sunk in. She was saying Go Elliott. When she first came to us, she would scold the dogs for barking and say "Shut up. You IDIOT". I read your advice to reprogram and use a different word and the only thing I could think of that sounded like idiot, was Elliott, so I would say it loud and excited like a cheer "Go Elliot!" Once I figured out the translation code, I moved those boxes from her line of sight and she calmed right down. Patterning does work to some extent and it doesn't have to sound the same. She hears me hush the dogs and now says "be quiet". She still goes back to her one remaining hold-out cuss word. I'm convinced my husband and kids reinforced that one and she knows they find a thinly veiled pleasure in the shock value of that one. She seldom uses it but when she does its effective and stops traffic. There isn't a person I've met that doesn't stop in their tracks just incredulous that with all the other sweet this she says, that she will exclaim "S@$t" at the most opportune moment.

Our thoughts continue to be with you. Your heart will never be the same from the profound loss of your friend. I promise though it does create a depth in your soul for you to have the ability for you to see the growth of ability to have greater heights of joy when you have felt such utter helpless grief and despair. After a period of mourning on your own terms, you will start smiling at reminders of the happy times with Rio and you will know your heart is growing and the hole is less and less the prominent landmark but a sweet gentle reminder of your great fortune to have loved the very special and unique companion Rio was when you needed him most. If he were to write his life story, he would say he lived with great love and his lifetime was complete because of your love and care.

When I forwarded this link to my husband and kids, they laughed and replied they had seen it, thought of Gilbert and wanted to forward it to me but didn't want to let on THIS is what they thought of Gilbert and had a completely different version of how I perceived my delicate little "snowflake" from my rapidly approaching dementia and off the charts "empty nest syndrome" state of denial. I'm glad we can laugh as we evolve and offer grace and forgiveness for Miss G-Bird to do the same.

I don't know who is making improvements and changes to our forum. This morning I pay my respect and pass along my appreciation to the tech team wherever you are in cyberspace. My computer is down and I am peering at a tiny screen to get my contact with our forum family. I am pecking away with one finger. Peck, back up, erase, try again. My screen went blank and I went back to a blank reply box prepared to try to remember my train of thought and painstakingly recreate it. When lo what should appear but a selection to restore the last saved response. Bless you and keep you and thank you from a grateful forum member! These changes take a lot of time, thought, coding, debugging and a steep learning curve. Thank you so much for contributing to the success of our grey companions.

When i read the post from Muse about the "yipe" in the critter's native language, I laughed at the memory of shock and awe and total lack of control when Gilbert bit through the tip of my finger and punctured the nail from the underside. I used her language all right. You know, the one special powerful word she uses that earned her nickname from our vet "The Cussin' Cajun."

i wish i could help but like most of us on the forum have not had experience in this area. There have been threads from time to time on this forum that you might find useful. It may also help if you post under the health room with a "help feeding five week old" or something to that effect so someone more experienced will see it more quickly.

Stephen, when Gilbert came home she was a dedicated stress plucker in general. Her handling on the day of pickup before I arrived was so traumatic she pulled flight feathers, follicles and all. I still want to cry thinking about the bloody frightened panicked little creature I met for the first time. In three years, she has gone from ripping out all the feathers and down from her neck to her feet at the slightest disruption of her expectations, to occasionally chewing her right chest in a spot the size of a quarter. This week has been one of those occasions and I think it is only due to the springtime hormonal surge. You are doing so many wonderful things with Isaac and he is also reaching maturity when he would be leaving his parents in the wild. I don't know about you, but about the time my kids were leaving our home for college they were tense and anxious. I had to keep telling myself, this is not about "us"' we are still okay, they just need to find their inner strength. All is well. When I awaken to a pile of feathers in the water dish, I change the water and go about my day now. Three years ago I spent a lot of energy trying to figure out what was wrong and what could I do to "fix" it. The answer was, wait a week. Isaac is "biting his nails" and that small bit of behavior is but a blip on the lifetime of companionship between you.

i had to keep enlarging my screen to read that article. Thank you so much for letting us be a part of the happy ending. So few are this outcome and I can only imagine the heartbreak and devastation of that week of searching. So glad that family had such perseverance and single minded determination.

It's been ten years, and it is only hearsay, but when we were in the UAE, I wanted to get an African Grey from another expat family having a similar experience. We were with an American contract company. Our UAE government liaison said there was a military veterinarian who could get the paperwork done. I thought he said in Kuwait, but it may have been Qatar. My husband was not willing to let us all get attached and go through the expense of getting him out without assurance that it could be done legally. I do feel strongly for what you are doing. How could you do anything else than going to the ends of the earth to keep your family together? Hopefully the information from Inara and what you have already researched will bring you to a solution. Keep the faith. Your opportunity is awaiting discovery. There is a way and I will jump on the crazy train with you for that long boat ride!

The whole time I was transfixed by the horrors this poor bird endured, I have to admit I laughed. I laughed til I snorted and had tears running down my face. On that one particularly bad day after a bone crunching, fingernail piercing bite, I wanted to write something purely wicked about her. Thank goodness that moment passed, but this brought it back again.

My worst bite came right when I was least resilient. It was sudden, unexpected, unprovoked and breathtaking in the speed and ferocity. My intellectual self said she was picking up on my emotions and it wasn't personal. But my heart was broken and trust that she was ever going to accept me was in question. I have learned more since then, have weathered worse times and see glimmers of hope and windows of opportunity where she is concerned. However that one deep, painful bite changed "us". I still find her charming, funny, and a great companion. It made me really evaluate her status as a fully grown adult wild animal and to be much more perceptive to seasons and behavior trends to avoid setting her up for certain failure when she is in an aggressive phase for some mysterious reason. My situation is different because she wasn't always with me and I am still learning. Sometimes a few days of treading carefully and giving her less attention allows her to shake off a mood that has little to do with me. Hope you get some insight soon and I'm so sorry you have endured this, you don't deserve that.

Oh how nice that you have had this long anticipated reunion. I'm glad it went well and you are making plans to be together. If we count in weeks, July doesn't seem that far away, but in anticipation it seems like forever from today. Since you are busy getting settled, it will pass quickly.

Welcome and thanks for joining us. For him to "choose" you and sit next to you preening your hair is such a good sign. He is well adjusted and has been dearly loved. He is lucky to have found you and to be developing a fondness already. Great job on finding him and recognizing a treasure. You will have a lot of years in companionship together. It is going to be delightful to hear all his stories as he unpacks and settles into your home.

Welcome to he forum Josh and family. My husband didn't join but he reads with me and I read to him the ones that delight me. As for advice, you are already at the front of the classroom taking it all in. A couple of pieces of advice were passed to me that were invaluable. Find out what your breeder gives the babies for comfort, buy those ahead of time so your baby brings a little piece of security with her. We got two small foot toys and a sleep tent and we moved our baby home and he already was acclimated to them. As Brat Birds mentioned, the aviator harness is the next thing. Depending on your breeder, if you are close enough to start using that early and often, that's another hurdle already initiated. As for reading material, The Parrot Problem Solver by Barbara Heidenreich is one I still go back to read a time or two. Not that it's different or better than the advice on the forum, but its a jump start on the questions to ask before a problem develops. Prevention is much easier on everyone than a "cure". You may be able to shape an African Grey but there are few effective discipline tools and no room in the process for punishment in the general human understanding of that word. Leading works, pushing usually is counterproductive. Being a great dad, you already have he best instincts. You are going to be a great family to a lucky little feathered one.

You know Ray, you are right about my dogs too. They eat their dry food but its in a timed dispenser so it doesn't seem directly associated with me. Now there is a thought. I should try that with Miss Gilbert. Mick and Baxter are from the same litter and they are six years old. We never gave them table food until last year while living with my sister. Her husband gave them cheese for a bedtime snack. When Val mentioned the coconut yogurt, Gil turned up her nose and the boys went nuts over it. Then I noticed the calorie count and switched to Darford brand Omega Booster. It's a tiny 2 ounce can of tuna fish. They are fools over it. They sit together on an ottoman and stare at me until they bore into my brain to rise up with my gift of thumbs to open that can. They run with their ears flying in the wind to leap onto the ottoman and side by side one spoonful at a time I alternate and they make great slurping sounds as they savor "cat food". It too funny. We just started a week ago and already I see a difference in the coat of Mick. His dry skin and dandruff are completely changed. It's magic. I love how pleased it makes them.