you said everytime my wife does that so sounds like she regularly uses the feather duster. I'm suprised that she hasnt become a predator and on the receiving end of more unwanted behaviour.
if your grey isnt safe i would suggest clipping, normally im a fan of not clipping. Storm came to me clipped from the breeder but until it becomes a problem she will be allowed to grow out her wings.
do you have plenty of toys out there that your grey can destroy?