greylover

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the fine bird was finally his! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!" "Don't worry", said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?" hear is another A lady is walking down the street to work and sees a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot upon seeing her says, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day on the way to work she saw the same parrot and once again it said, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so furious that she stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store and have the bird killed. The store manager apologized profusely and promised the bird wouldn't say it again. The next day, when the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused, scowled with an icy and deadly stare, and said with a hoarse voice, "Yes?" The bird, strutting back and forth on its perch in a cocky manner, said, "You know."ther GOOD CANARY SINGER!!! A short elderly woman burst into a pet store. "I want to buy a canary, but it's got to be a good singer! I've got good, hard US cash, but I'm only paying for a good singer." The shop owner began moving a ladder towards a small cage on a shelf about fifteen feet up, near the ceiling of the store. "Ma'am, I've been in this business for forty years and the best singer I've ever heard is in that cage." "Don't think I'm gonna feel obligated to pay for something I don't want just because you're climbing up a ladder like a monkey. I want a canary, but it's got to be a singer." By this point, the shop keeper was coming down the ladder. "Ma'am, this bird is a veritable feathered Caruso!" He placed the cage on the counter and the bird burst into melody after melody. Awed, the woman murmured, "Why, he is a good singer." Suddenly she screamed, "Hey, this bird's only got one leg!" The pet store owner was unperturbed. "Lady, what do you want, a singer or a dancer?" A burglar sneaks in a dark bar...(after hours) and goes right to the cash register. A voice calls out, "GOD IS WATCHING YOU". He looks all around and sees nothing so returns to jimmying the cash drawer. Again, the voice says, "GOD IS WATCHING YOU". The burglar looks around and finally sees a parrot in a cage and says, "Oh, Hi Polly. You startled me." "Hey" said the parrot. "My name ain't Polly. It's John the Baptist." The burglar snorted, "Who in the world named you John the Baptist?". Parrot says, "The same guy who named that Rottweiler over there GOD!" After taking his seat on a plane, a mild mannered young man was startled to see a parrot strapped in next to him. Choosing to ignore the bird, he asked the flight attendant for a cup of coffee. "And get me a whiskey, now!" the parrot ordered rudely. A few moments later the attendant returned with the whiskey, but no coffee. "Hey, lazy," the parrot cried out after draining his glass, "another whiskey!" Again, the attendant hurried to bring the parrot his drink but forgot the coffee. Upset at being ignored, the man decided to try the parrots approach. "Hey, you!" he yelled at the attendant. "Coffee now or you'll never work for this airline again!" A moment later, a burley co-pilot came over, grabbed the man and the parrot and tossed them out of the plane door. As they plunged downward, the parrot turned to the man and said, "That was really gutsy, mister. Especially for someone who can't fly. Hope you liked them!!I have plenty more

oh good that will keep chico quiet then for a while.All day he wont shut up evan tho we play and he likes playing fight so i play fight with him.But he loves a challange

lol congrats again number6

congrts number6

yes it is a good site :lol: :lol:

Im just no ngood with story's i dont know what to do???

yes judygram im getting a few lol

It is a really good website nice photos

I think the first one isnt as good as the rest because im a lady driver my slef.Im going to ask one question ladies do we do that???????

it lookes good im going to get one too.!!!!

yer me too xxbeccyxx there is loads i wanted to look at then i jus forget witch one it is on.lol im dosy

yes that is true judygram!!!! :) :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

One day an old woman walked into a shop and got some dog food, she went to pay for it and the cashier said you can't buy that dog food we need evidence that you have a dog, so she bought in her dog and she got the dog food. The next day the same old lady went to get some cat food and the cashier said you can't have that cat food we need evidence that you have a cat, so she went home and got her cat and she got the cat food. Next day the same old lady went in again and she had a box, she told the cashier to put her finger in it, so she did. She said it felt warm and soft, the little old lady then said now you're satisfied can I have some toilet paper please!

yes thanks lidia but i was right wasnt i??

hear is another 1 One Night After Watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire... A man and his wife went to bed and the man was getting very frisky. He asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, "Not tonight dear, I have a headache." The man replied, "Is that your final answer?" She said "Yes." "OK, then I'd like to phone a friend." he replied.

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender." MALE PROCEDURE 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. FEMALE PROCEDURE 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. 23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake. I thought that was funny.

thats a good one!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :lol: :lol: :lol:

yes what is it.can we have it please???

I think it is for when yo do a post and then if somethinks it is a really good thread they will click on a little hand and you can (add some more karma)(or take some away)And i think it moves up when you do some more posts. Am i right anyone:huh: :huh: :huh:

cool vidios

im glad to hear tari that your baby is getting better.:laugh: and also keep up with your good work still 100% with you.

lol thats funny

stop when she is full and walks off thats what i did when chico was on baby food.

I dont know what yo do??:blink:

chico just loves apples aswell.I justgive him veg with no fruit and he wont eat it so i put some fruit in but no apples and he still wouldn't eat them so i put appels in ands he eat every single thing. I think he is silly at times:woohoo: :woohoo: