chezron Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Brutus is now just over a year. He recently developed issues with my husband. He clearly prefers me and will not leave his cage when my husband wants to get him out. He acts antagonistic and waves his beak around. We are trying a tactic, so that Larry, my husband gets him out in order for it to happen at all. Meaning that he doesn't come out unless Larry gets him out. Do you have any suggestions for us? He easily lifts his leg to go anywhere when he sees me which is different than how he treats my husband. We want him to be a family bird rather than "my" bird. Thank you for suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm_2007 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 will take a lot of work. Greys tend to be a one person bird. If this is recent brutus has likely chosen his mate. but others can handle him if you work at it. The he doesnt come out unless my husband brings him out is not likely to succeed. instead have him be the bringer of treats and be the feeder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tycos_mom Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Your husband is going to have to work on being his friend. Whats going to end up happening is your birds going to be locked inhis cage forever it won't work that way . he is going to have to start with bringing him treats and talking to him what might help is if you get him out and take him to a room away from his cage and then pass him to your husband and leave the room. this way he can start building up his place in the birds life. this may have to be done for a month or two then he may be will find a place for your husband in his life your husband should also feed him and help with the cleaning also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
she Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Forget the idea of your husband being the only one to bring Brutus out of his cage.Many greys are one person birds,its just how they are. Other family members can have a diferent relarionship with him but you may be his chosen person who he allows the privalege of coming to from his cage.Try just leaving the door open and let him go in and out ae wishes.Get your husband to do other things with him like feeding and treats by hand.This will maintain their friendship.The idea of your husband interacting with Brutus in a neutral room is a very good one.Changes wont happen over night but as long as your husband is prepared to work at it in the sweetest way harmony can be maintained, although you may be the only one who Brutus allows certain privalages.You must respect this and go along with it.It is natural for greys to behave this way.Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Shelia is right on with her advice, greys do tend to be one person favorites and there is nothing you can do to make him like your husband more. Josey is my bird and she is bonded to me, I am usually the only one who she will allow to handle her but she is gradually warming up to allowing my hubby to pick her up and she gives him kisses but it has been a while coming as she is almost three years old. Larry can be the one to give him treats but above all tell him not to be discouraged, just keep working at it and don't take it personally, its just the nature of the bird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaxtersMom Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 This same thing happened with Baxter, my grey. He was fine with both of us at first but after awhile Baxter decided he was my bird now and decided he would no longer step up for my husband. If my husband tries, he will step up on him but bite and draw blood from the top of his hand. We have learned to accept this and that I have been chosen as the favorite person. My husband still has a good relationship with him, he just doesn't ask him to step up anymore. He worked on the relationship though and respected Baxters choice of fave and he can still pet him, give him treats, toys, etc, just will not step up. In emergencies my husband will take a long wooden spoon if he needs to put back in his cage for any reason and Baxter has no problems with it. I'm afraid you can't make your grey be a multi person bird but that does not mean he can't still be enjoyed by others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chezron Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 Thank you for the replies. My husband is an airline pilot and is gone for several days at a time. The last time when he came home Brutus was SO happy to see him, and let him scratch him, and carry him around. Good sign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
she Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Yes thats brilliant. I hope things keep going well for you all,good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sue09 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 I have had the same problem with Ollie for 5 years. I was his favourite for the first six months and then he chose my partner( strange bird...lol). It was really hurtful, but there is very little I could do about it. I try every day and spend a lot of time with him, but just can't handle him. You may just have to accept what he gives.....but don't give up trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusty1709 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Hi there interested to read this post. Dusty my baby is nearly nine months old. I spend most of the time with her. My partner is having to work to have a place in her life as Dusty has chosen me lol;) I feel as if we catch it now then their relationship will imrpove, not that it is extremely bad but Dusty seldom steps up for my partner in contrast to when she first came home six months ago. Dusty also threatens to bite my partner. I also have an OWA who is bonded to me so my life is hard work lol :silly: Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chezron Posted July 17, 2009 Author Share Posted July 17, 2009 Update- Brutus likes my Husband more now. I think my Husband was stressed out about something and maybe he was reading that when he avoided him. Brutus definitely likes the way he scratches his head, and will sit for as long as he continues to scratch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 I'm sure Brutus was picking up on that stress from your husband, you can't fool a grey but thats great that they are getting along better now and I think they all love their heads and neck scratched. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Thanks for the update on Brutus. And so glad to hear Brutus has accepted your husband as part of the flock!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myafricanqueen Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 The best advice I can give ( as I am in the SAME situation) is to make your husbands time with the bird "their time" and you should not be a there or be a part of it. Also he should be the one that gives the treats and does the things that your grey REALLY likes. I agree that he shouldnt have to go to your hubby in order to come out of the cage. My grey Dalia has made great improvements in the relationship with my hubby just by doing a few little things. He also talks to her and she has picked up some sounds from him. Good luck and keep trying, your grey may likely never treat you two the same as she/he has now chosen the FAV person. I was told that the majority of Greys are not one person birds but if they aren't then how come this is such a common thing with them? Im still trying to figure that out myself.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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