Rituals

[birdhouse]

Phenix has been in his new cage for a couple of months. He's found his favorite night roost & settled into how he likes to use what space & when. This has worked out so much better than previous moves & I'm thrilled to pieces.

 

Just one silly little thing, though. For as long as I can remember Phenix has been sitting on his water cup waiting each morning. Usually he makes me shoo him off so I can switch out the clean cup. Then, he hops back on to test the nice cold water by dipping his head in & shaking it off at me. No mess or drama. Just a playful little flick.

 

But that's stopped ever since the move. I don't know why it has anymore than I actually know why I miss it. But I do miss that little part of our morning ritual.

 

It really started me thinking about this this morning when I forgot my part of the morning ritual w/Kura. It's expected that I take a small piece of her breakfast & hand feed it to her before actually putting the cup in the cage. I think it's a bonding thing for her. Anyway, this morning I forgot & she sat patiently waiting before leaving her night perch.

 

Something is very likely wrong if Kura's not eating! So it scared me for a second when I realized my little Hobbit hadn't tucked right in. Fortunately once I focused it was easy enough to fix & all was right w/the world, again.

 

But it made me think about all the subtle interactions in our relationships. How a parrot isn't going to go lay down contented w/a scratch behind the ear & a "Good boy!" And how both sides can be effected when the ritual is disrupted. Then of course I couldn't help but think how losing that would be another major part of the trauma for them when they're rehomed.

 

There's no particular point to this ramble, exactly. I'm just sharing I guess. ")

Edited July 16, 2017 by birdhouse

[Acappella]

I know I have a ritual with Dorian at bedtime that I cherish. I tell him to go night night and he (Eventually) makes his way to his sleep perch. Then I turn out the lights and say "Night night, sleep tight, see you in the morning light, Goodnight Dorian, I love you, goodnight" and close the door. I know on night where I think I'll skip the routine he refuses to go to bed, so I have reason to believe he likes it.

[Kya]

I think greys are very detail oriented, and they actually love monotony.

 

For some reason, I know that every time that I am going to change out Gracie's food bowl, we are going to squabble over the removal of the old one, doesn't matter if it's empty or full, she makes a huge ordeal of me removing it, even though I have a bowl of something even better in my hand. If she is over on the other side of the cage and I am in a rush don't wait for her to come and fight with me over removing the original bowl, she pouts and won't eat from the new bowl. She will go to one particular perch and turn her back on me, as if I am the worst person imaginable. She will seriously NOT touch the new food, which is very manipulative for a bird that eats everything that can't run.

 

With Kya, our feeding ritual is that he comes up eye to eye with me and tells me what a good boy he is while I am switching out bowls. Occasionally, if he's just seen me do battle with Gracie, he will say "No bite. Kya's a good boy."

 

We can't deviate from the feeding rituals, if we do, everyone is cranky and pouty. I am preparing to go to Punta Cana in October (my birthday gift from my daughter - a girl trip) and I have no idea what is going to happen when my husband is in charge of all of their feedings. I have a feeling we better start switching out early so I can teach him the hoops he has to jump through to keep everyone happy.

[birdhouse]

I do think Greys enjoy the monotony. The same way DaVinci never apparently tired of watching a cage full of birds fly free. Certain mentalities never tire of re-assessing certain things to obsession.

 

Not to bang my drum too hard on this. But I also think it translates ferociously w/rescues' & even rehomes' idiosyncrasies.

 

I worked w/a man who had a seeming fetish about exactly what was on his desk & where. You weren't *ever* allowed to leave paperwork anywhere but in his in basket. If his coffee cup was 1/2" off it's spot when he came back to his desk he'd notice & have to set it right instantly. It was a game to some people to mess w/his desk.

 

Eventually somehow, it came out that he had been a POW in Vietnam. It didn't take a PhD to realize that it was about control. How he'd had none in some very heinous circumstances & now he held onto it w/a strangle hold. Fortunately, the idiots quit their little amusement after that.

 

But I think about him when I think about all my rescues. Especially the ones who are more sensitive or intelligent or have come from particularly bad places. He helped me simply accept that I don't have to understand anything. The longer someone imposes their idea of things on a damaged psyche, the longer it's going to take to work through those past traumas & hopefully move on, if ever.

 

My role is to accept what they need, period. If I can figure out out some motivation eventually, so much the better. But as it turns out, it isnt actually necessary & it can do much more harm than good if I'm not careful.

Edited July 16, 2017 by birdhouse

[Timbersmom]

Fortunately for Timber, I'm as OCD as he is so I have no problem with the rituals, ha.

 

Kya I wouldn't worry too much. Timber, at least, doesn't have the same expectations with others as he does with me. I've been gone before and Timber has been left in hubby's care. He doesn't do anything "right" and said Timber had no problem with it. It seems to me they attach the rituals to people as well as events.

[neoow]

If I stay up too late then Alfie starts saying "night night!" to prompt me to go to bed.

 

If he wants more food (because he's picked out all his favourite bits and isn't interested in whats left) he'll start grabbing the lip of his food bowl and flicking it so it makes a loud metallic noise... it's his equivalent to banging his knife and fork on the table I guess. I really should just give him a servants bell he can ring when he wants me to do something.

[Ray P]

Did the servant bell thing.

Corky would not stop ringing it.

[birdhouse]

Wow, just thinking about a bell that orders humans around. A Grey parrot's two favorite things. May be the very best present ever.

[Greywings]

Birdhouse you have stated a Truth!