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What to do when baby wants to be held but bites


Giannine

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Hi everyone,

Poppy has only been home for 2 full days now and here I am already seeking advice. Poppy will cling onto her cage door and make repeated noises until I open the door to get her out. She will hurry onto my hand but when I attempt to put her on her playtop or a perch attached to the outside of her cage, she side steps up my arm to avoid it so I will sit on the couch with her and speak quietly and softly to her. Earlier, she allowed me to stroke her head for about 10 minutes as I was talking to her and was closing her eyes and very content. The problem is, she goes after my hand or arm when she sees them uncovered. I cover my arm and hand with a small hand towel when I handle her after she seemed to be on a mission to bite them her first night home.

 

I was holding her a bit ago after she begged to come out of the cage and all was fine for a few minutes but I could see she was looking for a way to hop off of my covered hand and onto my chest, which she did, then nipped at my nostril then went for my left arm and hand. I covered her with the towel and placed her back into her cage to calm down. She seems to get into an excited state when this happens and I can't quite figure it out because she really seems to want me to hold her when I do.

 

I have been trying to go slow with everything and not overwhelm her or push myself on her. I have read enough on here to know that it can take quite a bit of time to gain their trust. Any advice is welcome...I look forward to hearing your input but suspect I need to go slower and maybe not hold her yet...?

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Sounds like a simple case of she wants to trust you but she instinctively can't just yet. Our Jardines was exactly like that and I learned the hard way by getting a hole bit in my lower lip. I recall you mentioned she isn't flighted? Why not just let her make her own way to the playtop and allow her to observe? She will take a week or so or even longer to figure out what has just happened and this is her new life. Using our Jardines example again, it took him nearly two months before he was handle-able the way I like to handle them. It's really important to just let them get used to the situation and if you have to just wait on the sidelines, it's worth it.

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Hi everyone,

Poppy has only been home for 2 full days now and here I am already seeking advice. Poppy will cling onto her cage door and make repeated noises until I open the door to get her out. She will hurry onto my hand but when I attempt to put her on her playtop or a perch attached to the outside of her cage, she side steps up my arm to avoid it so I will sit on the couch with her and speak quietly and softly to her. Earlier, she allowed me to stroke her head for about 10 minutes as I was talking to her and was closing her eyes and very content. The problem is, she goes after my hand or arm when she sees them uncovered. I cover my arm and hand with a small hand towel when I handle her after she seemed to be on a mission to bite them her first night home.

 

I was holding her a bit ago after she begged to come out of the cage and all was fine for a few minutes but I could see she was looking for a way to hop off of my covered hand and onto my chest, which she did, then nipped at my nostril then went for my left arm and hand. I covered her with the towel and placed her back into her cage to calm down. She seems to get into an excited state when this happens and I can't quite figure it out because she really seems to want me to hold her when I do.

 

I have been trying to go slow with everything and not overwhelm her or push myself on her. I have read enough on here to know that it can take quite a bit of time to gain their trust. Any advice is welcome...I look forward to hearing your input but suspect I need to go slower and maybe not hold her yet...?

 

No matter how sweet, kind, loveable, cute and adorable your bird is right now, if he gets the idea that he can go on your shoulder, I guarantee you that in the future, he will give you an absolutely free-of-charge earlobe piercing for your next set of new earrings that you buy. If you wear a chain on your neck, they're able to snap and break it without even trying hard. They love shiny jewelry. This goes for your husband or children too because as far as ear lobes go, there is no sexual preference. Another reason for not doing the shoulder thing is that if you use some sort of hair grooming item in your hair, they will get to it because they love to preen hair. If they do get to that cosmetic, they will swallow it and that's a no no or if you use nothing on your hair there's a good chance that the bird will pull at your hair constantly. Another thing about the shoulder is that when it comes time that you don't want him there, they will give you a struggle when you try to catch him to take him off. Never let a parrot stay in an area where you can't see him. They'll race over to the other shoulder and they might bite if you persist. It's not a good idea to ever let your bird used to staying on your shoulder especially if he's showing small desires to pull on your skin. Eventually, it'll be another part of your facial area or your clothing or the top of the chair you happen to be sitting on. There's just too many pictures of people walking around with birds on their shoulders but was isn't said is that those birds never showed any desire to bite or nibble the person who's carrying him around. Your bird is already showing that desire and it's not possible to train your bird to NOT BITE. It's their nature to bite at whatever appeals to them. This type of habit gets more serious as the bird gets older and more sure of itself. By the way, the biting problem isn't unusual. Loads of peopl;e have gone through your problem and the best way to stop it is to take all items of temptation away from the bird.

Edited by Dave007
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Thank you for your input Sterling and Dave. Sterling, you are correct, she is not flighted. I place her on the play top when she is out of the cage. Dave, I have no plans to allow her on my shoulder. As of now, the closest I have allowed her to my body (other than perching on my hand or arm) is resting my arm against my stomach while she is perched on my arm and I am sitting on the couch. Her fixation on biting my arm and hand when she sees them has established that boundary. There's just no way. She will be calm and fine, then suddenly becomes very intent on getting elsewhere on my body so she can bite. The only way I am able to stop this is wrapping her in a towel and placing her back in her cage.

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This is the advice the breeder just gave me:

 

Lets go back ward on this....Take her out of her cage on you hand...Tell her step up..She knows this so she should do it... If not take her out of her cage..Do not let her come in and out on her own....Place her on the floor...Tell her to step up..Offer your hand by her ankles so she steps up....then do the "Ladder"..Step up..."good girl" when she does....Do this 3x..then place her on her tree or whatever....

End of lesson ......

Next....tell her step up and pick her up....Cuddle her to your chest...Tell her good girl.....Put her back on play tree etc... Do this off and on when she is out....Look at it like it is a birdy school lesson....

 

Do not allow her to be on you when on couch...Hold off on this till she learns the basic behaviors.... She is young and likes to be active..

So let her be active on her play things or in her cage..... Remember like when you get a puppy...they need lessons on behavior.or they are bratty and end up in the dog pound!! Same with birds..they are what you make them to be...She is so young and you can train her to do soooo much...But take your time...She has a long time to live....

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Sounds like you have a breeder that knows what they're doing.

 

She is awesome. She has answered every single email and question with patience and encouragement. She and her husband owned a pet store in Ohio for about 30 years, then retired to Florida. The birds keep her busy...give her something to do with her time

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I have a small grooming perch attached to the inside of HRH Inara's cage door, and it is from this that I invite her to come out onto my arm. It is also to this, that I return her to her cage, and then simply have to gently swing the door shut while she is on the perch. Without fail, every single time she steps from me to her little perch on her door, she gets a small piece of her favorite in the world treat. Therefore, she always looks forward to hopping off and getting onto the "time to go home" perch. I wait to give her the treat, until I have shut the door. If she does not see a piece of the treat in my hand after this many years, she will hop onto the door perch, look up at me, and says, "Cookie." I go get it for her, and we are both happy as little clams. She also has a tree and 2 mobile perches that she can fly to at any time she does not want to be handled by hoomans, and we never handle her in ways where she might feel that she cannot escape us.

 

Some birds are simply not snugglers or cuddlers and don't crave a lot of up close body time with their people. Inara has always been a busybody bird who likes to perch upon me in the mornings to hitch a ride throughout the house, or likes to perch upon my Joe now for short periods of time to "read the news" with him in the mornings after breakfast -- but those sessions last at most about 10 mins. The rest of the time, she prefers to be "near" us -- i.e., in the same room on one of her perches, or just wandering around on a walk about. It is her personality, and we respect that. She used to nip at Joe the first few months we had her, and had bitten the crap out of her former humans as she moved from a cuddly little baby to a 2 year old. I have never been bitten by her (or any birds in my life for that matter). It's important to get a sense of your bird's temperament and personality, learn their particular body language signals, respect that they are not like dogs or cats, that they explore their worlds with their beaks, and that younger animals of all species have to learn over time what appropriate pressure from their teeth/beaks/mouths is when they are interacting with other living creatures. Treat her now with the respect and patience that you would a new friend, and keep the mindset that she is your companion, she is a baby, and so "baby steps." :) Some day you just might wind up with a birdie boomerrang like Sterling's Miss Greycie! if the personality is right. (HRH Inara will never be that bird, nor will she be a snuggler like Isaac -- but she is loving and deeply attached in her own style).

 

So keep her away from your face (as Dave said, remove temptation), wear long sleeves when interacting with her - a lot of birds aren't so fond of naked human flesh to step on to, and always make going "home" a rewarding and pleasant experience. For now, try keeping your interactions with her very brief, positive, and send her home wanting more rather than want to escape. :)

Edited by Inara
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I have a small grooming perch attached to the inside of HRH Inara's cage door, and it is from this that I invite her to come out onto my arm. It is also to this, that I return her to her cage, and then simply have to gently swing the door shut while she is on the perch. Without fail, every single time she steps from me to her little perch on her door, she gets a small piece of her favorite in the world treat. Therefore, she always looks forward to hopping off and getting onto the "time to go home" perch. I wait to give her the treat, until I have shut the door. If she does not see a piece of the treat in my hand after this many years, she will hop onto the door perch, look up at me, and says, "Cookie." I go get it for her, and we are both happy as little clams. She also has a tree and 2 mobile perches that she can fly to at any time she does not want to be handled by hoomans, and we never handle her in ways where she might feel that she cannot escape us.

 

Some birds are simply not snugglers or cuddlers and don't crave a lot of up close body time with their people. Inara has always been a busybody bird who likes to perch upon me in the mornings to hitch a ride throughout the house, or likes to perch upon my Joe now for short periods of time to "read the news" with him in the mornings after breakfast -- but those sessions last at most about 10 mins. The rest of the time, she prefers to be "near" us -- i.e., in the same room on one of her perches, or just wandering around on a walk about. It is her personality, and we respect that. She used to nip at Joe the first few months we had her, and had bitten the crap out of her former humans as she moved from a cuddly little baby to a 2 year old. I have never been bitten by her (or any birds in my life for that matter). It's important to get a sense of your bird's temperament and personality, learn their particular body language signals, respect that they are not like dogs or cats, that they explore their worlds with their beaks, and that younger animals of all species have to learn over time what appropriate pressure from their teeth/beaks/mouths is when they are interacting with other living creatures. Treat her now with the respect and patience that you would a new friend, and keep the mindset that she is your companion, she is a baby, and so "baby steps." :) Some day you just might wind up with a birdie boomerrang like Sterling's Miss Greycie! if the personality is right. (HRH Inara will never be that bird, nor will she be a snuggler like Isaac -- but she is loving and deeply attached in her own style).

 

So keep her away from your face (as Dave said, remove temptation), wear long sleeves when interacting with her - a lot of birds aren't so fond of naked human flesh to step on to, and always make going "home" a rewarding and pleasant experience. For now, try keeping your interactions with her very brief, positive, and send her home wanting more rather than want to escape. :)

 

See, the thing is, Poppy wants me to hold her and tries to avoid being placed on her play top or anywhere else when I get her out of her cage. I have not interacted with her nearly as much as I'd like simply because I am trying to give her time and space to get used to this new household and all new surroundings and activity. Also, the "teething" or testing out my fingers and hand kind of intimidated me but I followed the breeder's advice today with great success. She clamped down once but I stayed calm and firmly told her no. Today was definitely better than the previous 2 and I felt far more in control

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See, the thing is, Poppy wants me to hold her and tries to avoid being placed on her play top or anywhere else when I get her out of her cage. I have not interacted with her nearly as much as I'd like simply because I am trying to give her time and space to get used to this new household and all new surroundings and activity. Also, the "teething" or testing out my fingers and hand kind of intimidated me but I followed the breeder's advice today with great success. She clamped down once but I stayed calm and firmly told her no. Today was definitely better than the previous 2 and I felt far more in control

 

Exactly. She is learning to use her beak, and the strength that goes with it and when we get intimidated/nervous they sense that and as prey animals, sensing a tension or nervousness (which can be interpreted as excitment) can signal to them that you are a predator and are to be feared or defended against. If she begins to bite down a bit harder than you feel is acceptable (which biting down in general on your fingers shouldn't be acceptable) just roll your finger down and out of her beak. If you pull forward, it will be natural for her to want to pull back harder on your finger.

 

Sounds like your breeder is willing to give you some advice that she and you feels will be helpful, and that is great! We all have different opinions and methods of how we build our relationships with our birds and each is often as unique as the two or more creatures involved. :) Can't wait for more Popppy stories and more photos!

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Inara's post reminds me of something. She calls her cage "home". If you use the same words and tone, she will get accustomed to hopping right in and waiting for her reward. Some respond to food treats for rewards while others are in it for the praise and attention. Also, birds like to climb up, it is a natural instinct. If she starts up your arm toward your shoulder, lift your arm higher and generally they will climb to the high side. When I first got my smaller red bellied parrot Java, she would climb to my shoulder, across my back... anything to not go back to her cage. Sometimes you can back up to a wall and get them to come around. I started wearing really baggy tee shirts over my clothes. When Java would persist in staying with me I would pull the tee shirt right over my head and "bag" her to get her back in her cage. It only took once or twice before all I had to do is ask her to step up on my hand and if she started resisting, I would lift the hem of the tee shirt and she would be in a hurry to cooperate. Note... this was more than ten years ago, she was my first parrot experience and I had not found this forum to learn that its far better to stop her from being on my shoulder than to have to resort to tricks to get her off. You are a quick study and we know how intelligent our greys are, you will both be old pros in a short time.

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You describe exactly what I go through with Olive, the Quaker. She hops from my hand to my shoulder and refuses to step up and will climb across my back and up my hair to the to of my head which I don't allow. She does this chattering noise that sounds like she is talking back and just get ornery.

 

Poppy, on the other hand, is doing great. I am now calm and confident when I handle her which has made a world of difference in how she responds. She is still taking everything in and very quiet but we've heard her make a few sounds that sound like sounds E.T. makes:) I can't use treats as a motivation for her yet because I don't know what she likes and she isn't yet motivated by food. I do praise her a lot when she steps up and when she goes into her cage

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Praise in a happy, bright voice usually works great as a motivator with these guys. I never use food rewards with Dorian, but he gets plenty of praise from me when he's being a good boy. The opposite works too. A sad face and voice can let your bird know when she's doing something she shouldn't be. Works better the stronger your relationship becomes.

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They are very adept at reading our body language so the stink eye can work. Unfortunately with my Dorian he's become immune to my stink eye and a stern "no", which is why my computer keyboard is now missing four keys!

 

LOL it was you I remember talking about the stink eye! Poppy did great today. Not covering my hand and arm with a towel really did make a difference. Today every time I asked her to step up, she shoved her head between my thumb and index finger for a head rub lol She really enjoys being held (perching on my hand) and getting head and neck rubs. She wasn't as quiet as she has been and is making a little bit of noise. Olive makes enough noise for the both of them:rolleyes:

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It wasn't me, because I don't give the look to Miss Gilbert.... she gives me the stink eye. Hahaha. You might as well go right now and buy a piece of plexiglass and glue a couple of feet onto it so you can use your computer. My keyboard finally gave up after a little birdie took the keys off and chewed up the "s". Then, when I pressed on the little rubber boot to type an s, it would shock me. Now there is a bird who knows s is for stinkeye. She didn't want me telling anyone about it. I am so glad that Poppy is getting settled in with you. Your life will never be the same and you will not be able to imagine how it was BP... before Poppy.

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My keyboard finally gave up after a little birdie took the keys off and chewed up the "s". Then, when I pressed on the little rubber boot to type an s, it would shock me. Now there is a bird who knows s is for stinkeye. She didn't want me telling anyone about it.

 

LOL I would be in big trouble if anything happened to my laptop. It is the only computer in the house and I use it daily to edit!

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