hello from me and Oscar.

[bazman]

HI All,

 

I am looking for some help and advice and this seems to be a good place to start. We adopted our CAG Oscar about 4 weeks ago. He is 8 and had spent the previous 7 years with his previous Dad, who felt he had to rehome due to a new baby and lack of time and space. He is great fun, talks and eats well, loves to come out and flies around and is generally happy. FOr this first week, he was my best mate, would let me pick him up, sit on my shoulder, talk with me, and take food from me. About 10 days ago, he started to get funny with me, and it's got worse, and now I cant even talk to him without him grunting and shifting as far away as he can get. I am at a loss as to what has happened, I havent done anything differently, but he wont have anything at all to do with me. I was told he was oK with men and not women, but he will tolerate my wife, and likes my daughters, just seems to have gone right off me. Anyone any thoughts or suggestions? I want to get back to where we were, but as I cannot feed him and he wont let me touch him or get near him when he is out, I am struggling to know where to start.

 

Anyway, thanks in advance, look forward to meeting you on here and hearing from you.

 

Barry, and Oscar (pics to follow).

[birdhouse]

Hi Barry. Welcome to Grey Forums.

 

It doesn't sound like it's you so much as Oscar going thru some emotional issues after being yanked out of his previously happy home. He's starting to realize the whole world as he knew it & everyone he was attached to has just disappeared w/no explanation. The honeymoon period where it was fun is wearing off & he's starting to have some reaction. In short, he's almost exactly like a little boy who misses his Daddy & wants to go home now. You're just some guy he resents for trying to take Dad's place.

 

And you're probably trying too hard which is making things worse for the moment. So I would suggest you give him his space & let him sort things. "Ignore" him. He's very likely to come around more easily if you "do nothing".

 

And by nothing I mean hang out for periods near his cage. But not to near. Bring something quiet to do like read a book or surf the web. (post lot's of pics on GF lol). Always say "Hi" & glance his way when you would normally make casual contact w/any person in the room. But not much more than that.

 

Do you whistle? That's a great way to interact w/o seeming to. If Oscar will start playing the whistling game w/you, then you'll know he's opening up to well opening up to you again.

 

Then a few times a day, maybe come by the cage w/a treat or a little foot toy. Bring Oscar a straw, a popsicle stick, a button or something. But drop it in the dish & keep going "hit & run" style until he's coming toward you, not backing away. Even then, make him "woo" you before you try slowly going back to where you were before he had his trauma.

 

This little glitch in your relationship may also introduce you to what we call "Grey Time". Grey's can be real slow movers about emotional issues. Things take how long they take & parronts need to learn to "wait for it" .

 

So go slow. Be patient & I'll almost guarantee Oscar will settle in happily when he's ready. He's been doing far better than many, many rehomes would from what you've said. Check out "Rescue Bird Haven" for some perspective, here. I think we can look forward to many happy posts about your new life together in the future. ")

Edited July 28, 2016 by birdhouse

[neoow]

Hello Barry and Oscar. Welcome to the forums!

 

There's a thing on these forums that we like to call "grey time". As I'm sure you're no doubt aware already, African Greys are intelligent and sensitive birds. They like to do things in their own time, when they are ready. This will differ from bird to bird and from activity to activity.

4 weeks in a grey's life is not a long time at all. Oscar has had a LOT of upheaval to deal with in the last few weeks. His whole world has been turned upside down. He has been removed from his previous flock and added to a new one, in new surroundings. It's scary! You'll probably see many changes in behaviour over the coming weeks and months as he learns about his new home, his new surroundings and his new flock members. His attitude to different flock members may change during this time too, as you've already experienced. The important thing to remember here is that he needs to do this in his own time. His grey time. Take a step back and don't expect him to be fully settled in to your household just yet.

If he is moving away from you and growling/grunting at you, then you may need to back off for a while. Let other members of the family take over the various duties that involve going near him. You may need to just get him used to you being in the room and then slowly get him used to you being closer and closer to the cage withing him growling/grunting or moving away. Just remember to move at his pace and try not to force him into anything (as that is likely to result in a bite).

[Timbersmom]

Hello and welcome to you and Oscar! Birdhouse and Neoow have given you excellent advice. Most of us rehomers on the forum have experienced just what you did with the "honeymoon" so you aren't alone! Hang in there, it will just take time (grey time).

[Acappella]

Don't take it personally. This was almost predictable. Like others have said, you experienced what we call the Honeymoon period of a re-home. You got a glimpse of the bird that Oscar can be with you, only to have it unfairly taken away. Now you have to work for it lol. Do all the things the others suggested. Sit as close as you can before his feathers get ruffled, then just read, watch tv, just spend time letting him get used to your presence. One other suggestion I have is to not make direct eye contact. Predators in the wild look directly at them. Look at him from the side and below him to appear less threatening. This really worked with my Dorian, and I still do it sometime when he's in the middle of a right snit temper tantrum, which thankfully hardly ever happens anymore. Welcome to you, Oscar, and the rest of the family.

[katana600]

The good news is you have adopted a well adjusted sociable African grey. A lot of rehomes will sit and growl for the first weeks and generally express their displeasure at everything and everyone. Oscar is taking a step back, re-evaluating and feeling confident to make his own decisions in his new home. Everyone has given you good advice. It seems personal, but likely has nothing to do with you and everything to do with Oscar realizing his vacation is over and he isn't going back to where he called home. For whatever reason he seems to have decided to take it out on you. As much as that hurts, try to give him the space he needs so he will come to you eventually. The "doing nothing" part was exceptionally difficult for me when Miss Gilbert came our way. Now that I am an old pro at giving her space, now she is starting to want to be with me. Congratulations on finding Oscar and giving him a good home. Love him unconditionally and he will surprise you. Thanks for joining us. Hope you find some ideas that will pave the way for you to get close to him again when he is ready.

[bazman]

Thanks everyone, really pleased and relieved, let the fun commence!

[bazman]

 

Oscar!!

[Acappella]

He's beautiful, and predictably up as high as he can get. Glad to see you've left him fully flighted. He doesn't get aggressive with any member of the family when he's flying around?

[bazman]

He's beautiful, and predictably up as high as he can get. Glad to see you've left him fully flighted. He doesn't get aggressive with any member of the family when he's flying around?

 

No, the only person he has bitten in anger is my daughters boyfriend, he's been fine with the rest of us and is starting to come round again with me, which i am delighted about.

 

I assume by fully flighted you mean we havent had him clipped? I dont think we need to, and I dont like the idea so I wont unless a vet advisies differently, which i cannot imagine they would.

 

Thanks for the reply

[birdhouse]

I've had vets tell me they only treat clipped birds for liability reasons. And that while they're charging $15-20 a clip, they're doing everyone a favor by keeping those birds safe. ... or maybe I should say ex-vets. We didn't go back.

 

I've also seen 2 vets who insisted my fids be put back onto a pelleted diet even though both times the birds had been examined w/nothing but positive remarks & results. So I of course asked why I would switch from fresh feeding. One vet gave no more substantial justification than that he'd "feel more comfortable". I don't remember specifically what the other one said. But I do remember that both had a big wall displaying different lines of pet foods for sale by the front desk.

 

The sad truth is there are many bad vets around. There are also too many avian vets who won't embrace "modern" practices. I've been reasonably appalled more than a few times over the years. So now, I question everything on general principle & suggest everyone else does too.

Edited August 1, 2016 by birdhouse

[Greywings]

You and bird boy are in this for the long haul so just relax and keep an open mind about his attitudes. Glad you joined us and I know you will have stories to share with us in the time ahead.