Gilbert is home

[birdhouse]

Phenix did that for many, many years. He still just might on a bad day. But mostly, it's a comparably half-hearted lunge, now. I honestly don't think he could help himself. Those were the times I actually felt like he meant it when he apologized. It took him a very long time to get over what had become a reflex to strike out. But it was the way he lived for so long. So, I couldn't ever really hold it against him, you know?

 

Just don't tell him I said that! Once I knew he felt "bad" after one of these episodes, I started to milk them for all it was worth. And I think it actually helped because he got to where he'd go out of his way to make up & be charming. After silently suffering like a zillion flesh wounds, it was a relief just to be able to sulk a little & have him "validate" my pain, for want of a better way to put it.

[katana600]

I really get it. After a whirlwind of positive energy we are on the three steps forward, one step back. I just got a little complacent reaching in her cage to clean her water when she did a cobra strike. Lucky for me she missed, but she meant that one. She has had a feather chewing, day long cussing grumpfest but she is turning the corner again. Today she is vacillating between whistling sweet lullabies and tossing in a string of cusses, then right back to her sweet happy tunes. When she backtracks, I give her space to figure it out and when she moves toward me again, I am willing to let bygones be left behind. Last night she was hesitant but she initiated a really sweet bedtime head rub from half inside her cage. She suddenly turned and tried to bite me but as you say with Phenix, it was half hearted. Generally, I "talk her down", soothe her and calm her down so we part on a positive note. Last night was different. I told her she was a wicked little monkey and tried to close her door. She put her head in the door and I really can't say if she was trying to sort it out but I am more of a mind that she was positioning to nab me. I shut off her light and went promptly to bed. She has had a better attitude today, but I am playing it cool and letting her work at it for a change.

Edited September 24, 2015 by katana600
spelling... horrors! hahaha

[katana600]

Little Miss Gilbert had another blast from the past last night. She was high on a bookcase in the living room watching the Halloween trick-or-treaters from her lofty perch. As I closed the door, turned off the light to shut it down she piped up "Trick or Treat"! It was the sweetest little girl voice and just darling. In our neighborhood at home we gather outside with a fire pit on the culdesac so she hasn't seen the kids in costume. Next year I will have to take her out in her backpack.

[katana600]

Since Gilbert came to live with us, she has been my sidekick and traveled extensively. I have never been so happy to get home again in my life. Of all the places we have stayed, even with other animals, everyone has been very careful with her and this time was an exception. My girls are young, one just getting married, the other preparing for her first child. At the first daughter's home, there is a cat staying temporarily while her owner moves. Somehow it snuck into our bedroom and even though I was in there too it scared Gil enough she pulled a couple of flight feathers. We sorted that but because of the cat, we had to keep her in a bedroom upstairs with the door closed. That works fine with my sister's house to keep her safe from dogs. The difference is though, we have a gate up and she can hear us all the time and we all go up to visit all day long.

 

At the second daughter's house we stayed for pre-wedding prep and after the wedding I looked after her 2 dogs and 2 cats while they went on their honeymoon. I was able to put Gil and Java up high on a bookcase. I barricaded and booby trapped a set up so the cats couldn't get up there. Her very large dog was ever so sweet... until he wasn't. All four dogs came inside and her dog attacked our dachshund. It was sudden, unprovoked and brutal. Baxter's ear and throat were punctured and I was standing nearby and was able to wrestle Dante off him but it was traumatic for all of us. Poor Gilbert witnessed the whole thing and she has plucked her chest, neck, back to the bare skin which she has never done before. Now that we are home, she is completely back to normal. She is singing, whistling and best of all she wants me to hold her.

 

On a more positive note, we used a van that has "laptop" tables that are perfect for securing travel cages. It made a wonderful place where both parrots had a high perch to see everything and they were in easy reach to give them water, food and attention. Unfortunately, I wasn't thinking about the mess below. My husband went to work the next morning after a 14 hour trip and when he opened his briefcase in a meeting out wafted fluffs of down and "seed graffiti" and as he dug around getting his laptop out almond shells came tumbling out as well.

[katana600]

Another positive outlook I have seen since this travel nightmare is how quickly Miss Gilbert settles herself now. She reacted to stress, but calmed herself after a short time. There was no cussing and she returned to "normal" much faster than she would have done in the past. Also, since we have been home, she is singing her praises to me in songs and cute behavior. She is always happy to get back home. Perhaps this time she saw where she "might" be living in the future should anything happen to me. What a difference in her outlook in the past year or so. She will come toward me now when she is on her cagetop and lift a foot for a ride around the room. She still gets very nervous away from her cage and asks to go back in just a few minutes. But at night she will ask for a head scratch, then reach out to pull gently on my finger and then lift her foot for a step up. As I turn the lights to dim, she will come to my room and sit on my leg in my bed and when she is ready she gets closer and closer to my hand, then bends her head to let me know she is ready for a session of head scratching. This is new to her to be outside of her cage and to allow me to touch her without bars between us to protect her. She is showing me more and more trust, asking for things she wants and becoming a more relaxed happy parrot.

[Timbersmom]

Sorry to hear about your dog's injuries but what a great report on Miss Gilbert's progress!

[katana600]

Thank you, it could have been a lot worse but since I was cleaning, I had pushed all the furniture together and it didn't leave room for the big dog to hurt him any worse than it was. I am counting my blessings that I was standing close and didn't get bitten in the process of grabbing Dante's collar and forcing him to release our little guy. Baxter is healing nicely. For Miss Gilbert, although it was a stressful trip, she is so grateful to be home again that she is making progress and showing me a lot of love and appreciation. Interestingly enough, she has not cussed since the incident. Every day I am seeing the slightest changes in her and watching her become more self-soothing. To have her reach out and ask to come to me is wonderful. It may still take us plenty of grey time to see her true personality but every step forward is met with such high enthusiasm. It has been a hard won relationship, but she is getting ever more receptive and sweet. Go Miss Gilbert!

[Ray P]

Miss G`s journey is a journey she could never have taken with out you.

She is paying back.

P.S. We have all enjoyed the trip.

[katana600]

Thank you Ray. Way back in the beginning when I read the first thread that Gilbert needed a home, I was in a place where I was lost and reeling from the loss of two baby greys and I just didn't think I had it in me to try again with a bird "with issues". Months later when I decided I was going to bring her home, I knew it was going to be a long road. Little did I know where that road was going to take me, but I was committed to see it through. From the moment I saw her plucked, wide eyed with fear, I knew we were going to be learning grey time. Last night was another happy moment with her. David came home after weeks of travel on both parts. He sat on the sofa and a puff of fluff wafted up. He said "Who put all these feathers here? Gilbert, do you know anything about that?" First she made her usual "Hmmmm?" and piped up "Marilyn". She hasn't seen my sister Marilyn in months. We both laughed and then she said "Jim?" and she hasn't seen her beloved Jim in years. It makes me wonder what memories are in her mind. There have been some troubling times with her, some heartbreaking problems and lingering distrust but every day is an adventure. I have learned more about the incredible intelligence and free will of a tiny little being in a bedraggled coat of fluff and damaged feathers than I would have learned in my lifetime without her. She has changed my life.

[katana600]

Every time we return from a trip, Miss Gilbert will move forward and try new things. Last night after I went to bed, she called out to me "Hey" like she does when she wants me to come back and give her a scratch. This time, she wanted to step up to me from inside her cage which is a rare treat. I thought she might like to come sit on my knee while I read in bed. I went to get a towel from the bathroom and she dropped a bomb. As I cleaned it she forgot to be nervous about being in a different room. Usually, if I step into the bathroom she gets real nervous and asks to go back to her cage. There have been times I have shown her the mirror and she has never cared about her reflection she has always been in a big hurry to get out of there. This time was different. I showed her the mirror and she eyed herself up and down and just like I say to her she said "Pretty girl". Then she canoodled with her reflection, touching the mirror, rubbing her head on it and trying to put her foot on it. When we returned to our room, she didn't want a head scratch as usual but she was making the sweetest little clicking and whooshing sounds. Tiny tiny little steps she takes toward me. It seems so difficult but all I have to do is "nothing" and wait for those little steps. Perhaps she is beginning to think I am trainable after all.

[neoow]

I do love reading your updates in this thread. Admittedly I came into it late and haven't read the whole 164 pages, but did skim read some of the earlier pages and get the general idea of things from your other posts on the forums.

 

You say Miss Gilbert changed your life? Well you changed hers. She's doing great and you're doing great. It's amazing how you get rewarded for your patience. I have learned a lot from your stories.

 

sorry to hear about the scares you had whilst away though. I hope everyone recovered ok?

[birdhouse]

It seems so difficult but all I have to do is "nothing" and wait for those little steps. Perhaps she is beginning to think I am trainable after all.

 

I've seen that exact theme several time this week ... how much work it is to do nothing. I'm getting this almost creepy feeling like the Cosmos is about to do something & I'm being warned not to do anything about. Hhhmmm

 

Well, so anyway, back on topic:o I was wondering what you thought about putting a sleep cage in your room for Gilbert? She could be closer to you for longer periods w/o any effort at all. If it worked, she would spend hours away from her security cage w/o ever feeling it. She would also get to have the best of both worlds w/a roomy day cage & snug little hidey hole for her nighttime roost. And w/in this crazy notion, is the hope that she ultimate develops portable security which would travel down to the sowing room & out to the kitchen, etc w/o setting her to trembling anymore ever again. Okay, maybe that's asking a bit much, but you know what I mean.

[SRSeedBurners]

I do love reading your updates in this thread. Admittedly I came into it late and haven't read the whole 164 pages, but did skim read some of the earlier pages and get the general idea of things from your other posts on the forums.

 

You and me both. This thread was here two years before I joined. I've almost asked for cliff notes before but I think I got the jist from scanning a few pages.

[katana600]

I also think it is long and wouldn't want to start at the beginning and read it all :-) I think the value that it serves is for someone considering adoption to look at the good traits and possibilities as well as the potential to take a long time and a lot of work. Multiple home changes have been detrimental to Gilbert, so my hope is that anyone considering it understands it could take a long time, the rewards are great and the little character is always ahead of me. Val, you make a good point about the roost cage. We tried it early on before she gained trust and it wasn't beneficial. This might be the perfect time to revisit that setup especially since she is most receptive to me at bed time when the lights are dim.

[Acappella]

As someone who has been here for the whole ride and read the entire thread it's been a great lesson in patience. The only thing I'd wonder about a roost cage is how easy it would be to move her into her normal cage in the morning? Isn't she a little cranky in the AM.?

[katana600]

For now, I am compromising. Her new cage fits through the doorway, so I can roll it into my room in the evening and she can roll back out in the morning. She has the best of both worlds and we can make a slow transition to leaving the safety of her cage. What I will try once she gets adjusted to this change, is to make her warm bean mix in the morning and see if I can entice her to a rolling stand perch and get her away from her cage while still having it in sight. If she can accept that, I will move her stand toward the kitchen with me a few feet at a time. It hasn't been that long since she agreed to stay outside her cage to sit on the play top for extended periods. It doesn't take much for her to scramble for her safety zone. We haven't had much luck getting her to stay outside the comfort zone of her cage bars, but every little step in that direction has been a celebration. I just can't tell you how excited I feel inside when she will offer me her foot to come to me from the inside of her cage. She still wants to go back immediately, but I have been able to distract her by showing her something new in a different room. She has a tour until she gets wide-eyed and on the edge of panic. If it is 30 seconds longer each time, we are making progress.

[katana600]

Gilbert has so enjoyed the cage being in my bedroom that we are keeping it there because it works better for her. She is a secretive little character. She seems happier, more outgoing and eager to be on the outside of her cage the majority of the time. In the six weeks we have been home again, her feathers are growing back in and her mood is slowly improving. Where most of our greys enjoy being the center of attention and in the biggest cage possible, trial and error with Miss Gilbert has given us an open mind to try new things, try again at another time and hopefully some day we are going to hit upon just the right combination for her to be happy and to trust us... just a little. Actually, she is only a matter of a few short feet from where her cage was in the living room. From the bedroom doorway she can see into part of the living room and most of the kitchen. I can't be certain, but I have the distinct impression from droppings in unusual places... that she is making some reconnaissance missions doing secret intel. Then, she jumped off my hand onto the floor in my bedroom and I waited for her to come to me for a lift. She did not want to get off the floor so I came back in five minutes to see if she had changed her mind. I was confused to find her in her cage, with the door closed and latched! I don't know how she is doing it but she is far to clever to let me in on her spy game. Another thing. She has been far more... hmmm... assertive. Now, when we walk around her cage to come and go from our bathroom, she will wait until our back is toward her and bite us! She has bitten me once and has bitten David several times. Once she got me, I moved her cage back a foot so it is never where I would turn my back to her again. But... she offered me a step up while our daughter was here for Christmas. I brought her in the living room and she bowed her head to allow me to pet her but she just had a "edge" about her and when I hesitated she rushed me and bit my finger to the bone. I think this is a necessary process for this particular parrot to find her way. It is a double edged sword, just when she is feeling safe, branching out and exploring she is also more touchy and volatile. She goes through a few days of this phase and generally I can read her body language to know when to keep my distance. It is the transition phase when she catches me off guard. But all in all, she seems very stable and happy in the bedroom.

[Greywings]

I wish you healing fingers in the New Year!

[judygram]

I brought her in the living room and she bowed her head to allow me to pet her but she just had a "edge" about her and when I hesitated she rushed me and bit my finger to the bone.

 

Sadly this will forever be a part of her personality as she has been thru a lot before she ever came into your life but you have handled it like a champ and there is much to be admired for the progress you have made with her. You two are truly blessed to have found one another.

[katana600]

Thank you, that finger was healing nicely thanks to some comfrey salve from the Amish. Then.... she did it again. She is becoming so much more vocal and assertive, I think this is something like the "terrible twos". It seems just as she gets brave, starts exploring, she is also very nervous with her newfound freedom and abilities. Although she loves her new cage, it isn't as easy to open the food doors and I have to reach in to change food and water. She is willing to play on the cage top and watch me "with an attitude". I will close her little escape hatch door so she can't make an end run and get between me and the water dish. This time, I forgot to open it after I fed her and she was ruffled about Java being out on my shoulder. When I put Java safely inside her own cage, I went to Gilbert to make amends and she was real sweet offering me a step up. I could tell by her body language she was ticked off, but she has never bitten me once she steps up. The little monkey sweetly took a ride to her open door and the second she was on her cage she turned and bit me again. The swiftness and ferocity is breathtaking. I do know this is a phase and I would not trade her messes and her behavior for that scared little creature huddled and shaking in one spot on a perch. But... there has to be some middle ground and we will find our way there. I have learned not to offer her any access to finger tips or to my face. I am going to give her a change of scenery in the coming weeks as I rearrange my sewing room and basement den to hold her larger cage. I don't want to punish her or make her regress, but perhaps we can take the edge off by changing things up a bit.

 

You are absolutely right Judy, I don't think this defensive biting of hers is going to change dramatically over time. It is instinctive and I don't believe she can control it herself. I need to not let my guard down with her and always have an exit strategy to keep my fingers safe. My distraction techniques are becoming familiar to her and she studies me like a bug under a microscope. The interesting thing is after she bites me, I lock her cage and give her a stern word. She throws things at me and tears her cage apart, upsets her water dish and has a right tantrum. I leave the room and give her no interest. In ten minutes, I can come back and she talks sweetly, steps up and she is over it. Two days later, my finger is still bleeding and I have a little bit of a grudge against her and I still want to dump a bucket of cold water over her head. Apparently I come with a little baggage myself. I can live, learn, forgive and move forward.

 

With all this, I have been allowing her cage door open at night. Usually she sits on her cage top while I read in bed, then when I turn off the light, she goes inside to her favorite roost perch. When I sweep up around her cage the next day, I am still finding evidence that she is somehow getting down and walking around on the floor and then returning to her cage. If I could stay awake I would love to see what she is up to. The room is bird safe and I have wires for lamps clipped up high under the nightstands and behind the dresser so I am going to see how this plays out.

[katana600]

Last night I had a great appreciation for the softer side of rescue parrot. We just made a weekend trip to Pennsylvania for a visit to my mother-in-law with Alzheimer's. As usual, we stayed at my sister's home. After we left Monday, her German Shepard (Macy) had emergency surgery for an intestinal blockage and is in the hospital in rough shape. Miss Gilbert has only picked up a few of our names and Macy has been one of her favorites. I don't know if she heard me talking, or if she had Macy on her mind from being up there, or just read my mind as I have worried about Macy and her recovery. Last night she said "C'mon Macy. C'mon little lady." She has only used the expression "little lady" with me when she says "Hey Lulu little lady" in what sounds like a John Wayne imitation. It just really struck me that she put that together.

[katana600]

In other news about Gil Girl, I finally have confirmation that the little monkey is climbing off her cage at night. The lights were off and I was reading on my iPad when I heard a noise. Miss Gilbert was off her cage, on the floor. I didn't move as I watched her make her way across the floor, she went under our bed and out the other side. I am not sure if she became aware that I was awake but soon she very slowly, quietly and carefully made her way back to her cage and pulled herself up onto the bracket across the bottom, stretched tall and pulled herself back up to climb in and put herself to bed. Generally this is not something I would want to encourage considering the trouble she could get herself into, but I close my door at night to limit where she could go. To see her gain confidence enough to leave her cage and explore is worth making sure she is able to safely continue leaving her door open at night. I will be vigilant about keeping her safe but also allowing her this little secret. She was off her cage less than five minutes tentatively testing her courage.

[SRSeedBurners]

Haahhaaa....leave her a little almond surprise!

[katana600]

That is such a great idea. I spend a LOT of time sweeping my bedroom floor. It would not have crossed my mind to hide food there for her to discover. I wonder how my husband would react if he got out of bed in the night and stepped on a banana? She loves bananas. That might be the encouragement she needs to climb right down while she knows I am watching.

[Ray P]

Who knows what lerks in the shadows, oh it`s Gil Girl !!!!

Edited January 25, 2016 by Ray P