Gilbert is home

[katana600]

We have company at our house. I was wondering how Gilbert would do with the hullaballoo. He has been awesome. He has been talking to Sean, our artist friend from NY and Julie, our embroidery artist friend from Australia. He is grumpy to me and offered to bite my face through the bars, but he talks and regales the visitors with his banter. Early this morning I was getting ready to take Julie to Tennessee for her to teach some classes and Sean came downstairs and Gilbert positioned himself for a scratch. I was beyond incredulous when we talked on the phone and Gilbert was making friends and letting Sean scratch his head. I came home at the end of the day and Sean had made friends and Gilbert was out of his cage and relaxed and happy. It took Gilbert six months to allow David to give him a scratch. He is not letting me get close to him today so it was a blessing to know he was making friends with Sean.

[katana600]

Today while I was napping on the couch, Gilbert had another "first". I heard a thump and then watched him systematically toss everything off his cage top to the floor. Not only is he touching his toys, he was moving them and tossing them one by one. He seemed to make a game of it, he didn't seem at all annoyed, just moving and tossing things. I have seen him move and exercise more in the past few days than in the accumulation of months of slow and cautious efficiency of motion. He climbs to the top of the metal loop where one of the toys is hanging. For a while he has been using a great amount of effort and flapping to get to the top of the narrow hoop and now he just seems to get up there in one motion. I love to watch him come down, he swings and slides and is showing so much confidence. This is like a small sampling of the company we will have in three weeks for the wedding. It is interesting how much he seems to favor Sean and how he draws him close and lets him scratch his head. It makes me wonder whether he resembles Gilbert's beloved Jim.

[katana600]

Tonight when Sean came home from the art festival, I had just arrived home as well. Gilbert climbed to the playtop and said "hey" which is usually his cue that I can scratch his head. He was on the ladder of his playstand with his head tucked and peeking out beneath the big perch across the top of his cage. I went over to offer him a pine nut but he really wanted a scratch. This is big news because almost always when he requests a head scratch he will scramble inside his cage so there are bars separating us. He seems to need his comfort zone of being inside his cage. He was really relaxed and let me scratch his head a long long time. Then when I walked away, he said "hey" again in the soft way when he is asking for attention. Sean got up and went over and Gilbert let him scratch him for a long time. Now he is perched high atop the toy hook about seven feet up. He is just surprising me every day. It just warms my heart the way he responds to Sean. Meanwhile, David is home tonight after a week long business trip and Gilbert wants nothing to do with him. Slow, steady, patient progress. I will take whatever he is capable of giving and I will celebrate these little milestones. I am so excited, he was asking me to scratch his head without a barrier between us. Awesome. I love this little guy.

[Kimijean]

It sounds like he has a wonderful home with you. )

 

Kim

[katana600]

Thanks Kim, as much as we would love to be his wonderful home, he has some issues that keep him from relaxing and embracing the changes in his life and we just keep trying to find ways to help him overcome his own fears and reluctance to accept us. When he develops the smallest amount of confidence and expands his comfort zone, it is the greatest joy and celebration but I try to hold my cards close to the vest so as not to push him when he makes such a great effort to move forward. I am so excited lately I can barely contain myself as he found a new safe zone on the cage top. Last night he went back to the same spot on his ladder where he tucks himself in tight next to the perch and behind a toy and says "hey" every so softly as an indication that he is prepared for a scratch on his head. He let me rub his head for almost ten minutes which is like a huge world record in his "grey time". There are so many times I wish I had a magic wand to give him whole wings and an open heart, but the truth is, it is slow going and almost imperceptible change on a weekly basis that keeps me hoping for the day he will play freely and know he is safe and well loved.

[Kimijean]

I understand how hard it would be to maintain control. I have a Dusky Pionus that I adopted about 6 months ago and she actually has just started to climb up to the top of her cage. The first time she did it my son and I were sitting in front of her cage on the couch and I got so excited. I told my son that it was a huge step forward for her. )

 

Kim

[Acappella]

There are so many times I wish I had a magic wand to give him whole wings and an open heart, but the truth is, it is slow going and almost imperceptible change on a weekly basis that keeps me hoping for the day he will play freely and know he is safe and well loved.

 

This is exactly how I feel with Dorian. His trust is so precious and his bravery is so valued because I know hard it is for him. Cyber hugs going out to you and to your brave little grey soul.

[katana600]

Thanks for the support and cyber hugs and stories of your own birds. That is something that helps a lot. Gilbert is our first rehomed parrot and while I had some idea of what I was going to be facing, it is an unpredictable journey. I try to imagine how unpredictable life has been for him. When I saw Dorian's playstand and how he was gently touching your fingers, I thought how sweet that would be someday when Gilbert gets more comfortable. Then, in the middle of giving him some pine nuts, he kind of nuzzled my fingers. It is so amazing and wonderful to have him exploring just a touch on my hands. I could feel his warm breath and it always leaves me wanting more but when his little chest starts quivering, I back off and let him tuck close and make his own overtures. I can't tell you all how much I appreciate knowing you are celebrating the same kinds of progress with your own little angels.

[Greywings]

It does make my heart happy too, good progress. They teach us the true value of trust.

[katana600]

In the week and a half that Sean was here for his art festivals, I saw more progress with Gilbert than in months prior. It makes my heart soar to see that this little guy is capable of that much action and affection. It has come to my realization that my gender is part of the slow going with Gilbert. It amazed me how much a young, burly guy with a beard was an instant attraction. Gilbert let Sean scratch his head and openly begged him to come to the cage when he was in the room. When Sean left yesterday two of our dogs moped all day and Gilbert and Java both seemed extra quiet too. I am either going to have to get a good makeup artist and a beard to see if that will help or just tell Sean he has to move in with us! This morning Gilbert came to his special place for a scratch but was not about to engage, so I was going to give him a couple of pine nuts to reward him for coming close. He gave me a big surprise when he took the first two pine nuts and ate them happily, then suddenly struck through the bars to bite my thumb so hard it is still numb. Afterwards he had a full on tantrum, throwing things and just posturing and looking so upset. The best thing is that he found a way to calm himself with no chewing on his own feathers nor retreating to a fear withdrawal. What I take from that is he is finding new ways to express his frustrations and he is still moving forward and building confidence in himself. It is a fearsome scary thing to see his tantrum, but I think it is progress because he got over it just as quickly as it came. We have a lot more company coming in two weeks and it will be very interesting to see if my nephews will have the same effect on Gilbert.

[katana600]

When I was a kid, I used to love the "fortunately, unfortunately" story book. Unfortunately, Gilbert seems to think I banished Sean. Fortunately this has brought him closer to my husband and he is asking him for scratches and pine nuts. Unfortunately Gilbert has been keeping his distance and giving me the stink eye. Fortunately this means he is getting his exercise. Watching him rapel to the greatest height of his toy hanger and then spiral down only to climb back up and beat his wings to show me he is the king of the mountain gives me a sense of how far he has come. He has been really active and plays more every day with his toys. This morning I saw him chewing a "new" wood toy he has had for about a month now. It is the first time I have seen him splinter the wood so he is overcoming his reluctance to interact with his environment. Yay Gilbert!

[Greywings]

A step forward then 2 back, keep with it as you discover his ups and downs and find those clues to his thoughts.

[katana600]

There have been fleeting moments of self doubt and "what ifs" in the past couple of days. When I saw him open up so positively and amazingly to Sean, I was elated. Sean was very thoughtful in telling me that the year of patience and building trust helped Gilbert to be more approachable. When Sean left, Gilbert seemed genuinely let down. My what if moment was what if someone else came in and was the perfect match for Gilbert, could I ever let him go? I guarantee I would want to do what is best for him but I don't think it would be the magic wand to heal and restore him to that wonderful guy I know is inside him and the one I get a glimpse of more and more these days. Nope. I could not consider anything but moving in anyone he falls this much in love with. Sean can come once a year for a couple of weeks and see if it gets better every time and then he will just have to move closer. I absolutely love to see Gilbert shine. I love the joy in the eyes of anyone he favors with his sweeter side. David has been the go-to guy for a few days and it is nothing but good. I believe every loving person that comes into his life will enrich and build human trust and is a boost to our plan. In two weeks we have a wedding and I am so looking forward to seeing Gilbert with all my neices and nephews.

[katana600]

Gilbert is slowly starting to show signs of play. He has few toys inside his cage and his cage door is open every day all day so he climbs up to the play top and explores those toys. One small wooden foraging toy has been in his cage for a while. This week when I cleaned his cage I was delighted to find a very small amount of clean slivers that showed me he was chewing wood for the first time. I get so tickled at all his "firsts". On another thread, I read about the small wiffle ball and went to my supply cupboard and tried one and he took it from my hand, tossed it off his cage a few times and goes back to it on his own. Yesterday I went to a bird fair and bought a treasure trove of toys meant for a cockatiel. I handed one to him and he tentatively touched it. That is a major improvement for this guy. This morning I awakened to find a bead that was knotted to a leather lace had been removed and dropped to the bottom of the cage. I know he didn't do it while he was on top of the cage so I am doubly pleased that he climbed to his "ceiling" and brought it down from there. Yay, Gilbert! He does like to have the comfort zone of being inside his cage and trying new things when he has the bars as his protection. Then, he asked David for a scratch last night and they had the first long session of him being such a sweet boy for David. I let David give him his night night almond for a reward and then he gave him a couple of pine nuts too just for good measure. Gilbert would not let me near him and has been distant for a few days, but this morning he came to the bars and asked me for a scratch and let me have a very long time of being close to him... through the bars of course. Today he was moving around a few of his tried and true wood and leather pieces from inside the cage and he is just big stuff playing with the new small size toys and the wiffle ball. What good news this is for us. I want to dance and celebrate.

[katana600]

We have had a rough week and Gilbert hasn't had his usual attention and has been in his cage more with me being gone quite a bit. Tonight I was weary when I got online but wanted to check in with my friends. I was signed into the forum reading a particularly touching thread when Gilbert launched himself off his cage and made it across the whole room before crash landing on my foot. I felt his warm little body hit my bare foot and was expecting him to bite me with the indignity of the flopped landing. Instead he chirped and tweeted and raised his foot to ask for a step up. He sat on my hand looking intently into my face and he bowed his head and let me kiss him right on top of his head for the first time ever. There is something about the blessing of having a spirit in our home who seems to look right into my soul and respond with grace that has my stomach fluttering just a little. As I asked if he wanted to go back to his cage, he was getting a little nervous and as I stood about three feet away, instead of leaning in to step onto the perch on the door as he usually would, he again launched himself trying to fly. He went right into the cage through the open door and then confidently climbed up from his landing on the floor. I don't know if he will ever regain his wings, but I know for sure that today he thinks he can fly.

[Acappella]

These demonstrations of love when we need them most from our fids, especially from our 'birds with baggage', mean so much. Never doubt that Gilbert loves you and knows he is loved, even on days when his luggage is extra hard to handle.

[judygram]

I am so glad to hear that Gilbert is continuing to amaze you with his small steps, you have been a very patient woman and that is exactly what he needs right now, how sweet that you were able to kiss his head, of course I do that to Josey all the time but for you that is no small feat, he does know he is loved and it is returned in triplicate.

[katana600]

I have to say there is a fine line between trust and lunacy. I am well aware that he is still a wild animal at heart and a kiss on the head could mean losing a chunk of my lip at this point, but he is a charmer and I can overcome a little fear in the process of letting him show me who he can be. Moments like this when he tries so hard to fly and gets a little bit of distance before descending less than gracefully, I wish with all my heart and soul that a miracle will happen for him to regain his wings some day. I've read about the grafts for feather shafts and I would make him wings if I could. Heck, I would make myself wings if I could. LOL. I just love him so much and will accept anything that comes as he continues to bring a smile on the hard days and full on laughter when he gets a mind to be a comedian. Our family is still coming this weekend to have a show of support for the cancelled wedding and to celebrate our daughter's graduation with honors with a degree in physics and chemistry. She is going to be fine and we are going to surround her with family and love and Gilbert is giving her his best. He actually gave us a disgusted sheeeit when we were talking about the events surrounding our upheaval. Of course that could have been for the benefit of the plumber who had to come when we broke the handle off the shower as we are expecting a house full of company. Anyone who leaves our house has plenty of stories to tell.

[katana600]

What a weekend. Our daughter's wedding was cancelled so our entire extended family still came for the weekend for support and we celebrated her graduation from college instead. We had a house full of people from Wednesday until last night. Gilbert took it all in stride. We did spend the night at the lodge about an hour away and came back twice a day to visit with him and clean cages etc. He loved talking to everyone even when the house was crowded. He did wolf whistles to all the girls when they went upstairs in front of his cage but made nary a peep at the guys when they walked upstairs. They were all laughing about that. He really made a name for himself. I let him on the cage top while we were all in the living room and you wouldn't have known he was a shy little fellow. He took almonds, pine nuts and other tidbits from anyone who was brave enough to come close. Conversely, he was ticked off at me the whole time. He would fling an almond to the ground and reject every offer I made him. When everyone left, he took pine nuts from my hands and he was calm for me but he is now preferring my husband over me. That is all well and good, it just makes me have goosebumps to watch him being trustful of anyone else. He is a fickle little character and he changes with the wind. Today he is talking a lot and being energetic and climbing all over. We have had some huge changes and brought in a new kitten along with my daughter moving home for a little while to get a new start, new job, grad school etc. We also moved in another dog and everyone seems to be getting along just fine. Go Gilbert!

[Wingy]

Wow it sounds like you've had a whirlwind few days. I am so glad Gilbert was able to take it in stride. It sounds like he enjoyed the change, or was play acting just to spite you.

[katana600]

The best thing of all is that he didn't drop any big naughty word on our two year old niece. Phew. I loved that he was happy with relative strangers in the house. He has been delightful and I see the small changes adding up to him being more relaxed than ever. I also discovered something much worse than a parrot bite, I got stung on the toe by a scorpion. It was inside on the dark carpet and I never even saw it until after I was trying to find what cut my toe. I didn't even know there were scorpions in Georgia. We have been here six years and never saw one or heard of anyone in the neighborhood seeing them. It was horrid. No lasting damage, just very painful and shocking.

[Wingy]

Ooooh ouch ouch. I may crab about living in the land of ice and snow but I surely don't miss the things that bite and sting that are found in the warmer areas of the country.

 

You need to give Gilbert some new "naughty words". If you say them with the same excitement as the old ones you can possibly get him to use the substitutes instead. Just don't use common words or phrases. I used things like jiminy crickets, fudge, shoot and oh geez. I put the same feeling behind those words as I would the "naughty" ones. It worked for me.

[katana600]

Gilbert is too clever. He has a good vocabulary. When he says good night, sweet dreams and bye bye, see ya later, come back soon, all the girls were just melting with oohs and aahs and how sweet he is. All the boys were secretly wishing for him to cuss just once, but they were respectful of not encouraging him. None of them have ever heard a bird talk and it surprised them how he was spot on with calling the dogs and asking if they want to go outside and saying goodnight, good morning and bye bye at the appropriate times. He was reminded of his naughty word just one time and for a few weeks now he has been doing what sounds like George Carlin routines serving it up with many tones, voices and situations. If it were on television, we would all be laughing because of the context, tone and delivery. We rarely use that kind of language and I am sure it will fall by the wayside in much the same way as "idiot" and a few other things he said at first. It is very much like a young child quietly taking everything in and then piping up with something at the most embarrassing time. It was nice to have the entire extended family here to meet Gilbert and Java in their own environment and to come to an understanding of how much they mean to us. It is hard to understand the depths of their intelligence and emotions until you see them interact naturally in their own home. When we have traveled with him, he is uncertain and edgy and very very quiet. This was a good visit all around for him to have people in his space where he feels safe and it was interesting to see him take it all in stride. I was half afraid he would take a liking to someone and be a totally different guy and I would have to admit he doesn't like me much. He is a bird with issues and there really is no magic wand, just time and patience and it isn't personal. Phew.

[Acappella]

I really live your Gilbert updates. In some ways you're way ahead of where Dorian and I were one year into his life with me. He may have some issues but I believe in his heart he's a very resilient little guy and will become a better and better companion in the months and years to come.

[katana600]

We just never know where our journey with these little characters will take us. When I watched the video of you showing us how to make the stand for Dorian, I was amazed that he was so gentle touching your fingers and getting on his stand. I would never have guessed he had struggled with some of the same issues we have had with Gilbert. If not for this forum, I would never have found Gilbert, but above that, I would have not realized that stepping back and waiting patiently was going to be the key to overcoming the tension and fear he brings with him. There is just no amount of appreciation I could show to all the supporters and advisors we have here. Just think, if our greys could read, we would have all our problems solved. LOL. I love this little guy with all my heart and he is going to be okay.