...Over a week with Timmy

[hammco]

Well guys, heres an update:

1. He knows to ring nis "new" bell to get my attention, sometimes he steps up, sometimes not but I can tell when now.

2. As soon as we wake up and start moving around he is up too...ringing the bell

3. He comes and goes out of the cage as he pleases

4. He likes apples and pringles chips as a treat...shelled pnuts are a no-no

5. He has whistled a few times in the evenings, nothing consistant tho

6. He likes to pull the hairs off my arm, one by one

7. He takes food and treats VERY gently and ALWAYS wants more of what he likes

 

Heres what bothers me that I am working on:

1. He does not liked to be touched AT ALL, except his feet on my finger "stepping up"

2. He screeches, flashes pupils, and raises neck feathers when he dont want to be fooled with (touching or stepping up)

3. He perfers to step up when he is out of the cage and when on the "food" side (left) of the cage, and he HATES to step up on my left hand

 

I have a feeling that he is gonna be a fellow that wont be very verbal and dont want to be messed with too much, and Im fine with that as long as hes happy and healthy...however, do yall think even tho he is 4 and rehomed (1 week) that he will adjust better and be a guy that will interact with the family and make a little noise for us? I know Im being impatient probably and I know Im worrying too much, but my cockatiel is very content being cagebound and having no interacting with people and I dont want Timmy to end up that way...What do yall think?

 

Thanks!!

[Barbara2]

The progress you have made is actually pretty amazing considering that you have only had him for one week! Congratulations! It might seem like it's going slow but in another 3 weeks, when he has been with you for a month, you are going to look back and this time and laugh.

[hammco]

Barb, I sure hope so!!! Thanks alot!!!!!!!!

[hammco]

At this point Im pretty sure his previous family put him in a cage and after a week or two with him not talking they gave up and he was just a critter in the corner they gave seed ONLY too and finally sold him to me 3 years later to make more room in the den. He is a diamond in the rough, and as soon as he trust that I aint out to hurt him (and I give good treats) he will be the BEST parrot ever! He sees the whole family all the time and I take him in the den, living room, sunroom, kitchen...where ever we are hanging out so surly he will soon understand we like him and want him to be with us doing whatever....Id give anything to see my 1 year old kid to scratch Timmys neck and take a pic, My fingers are crossed!

[danmcq]

I believe he has made GreYt progress, like Barbara stated as well.

 

He is indeed a diamond in the rough.

[Luvparrots]

Oh relax, Timmy is just great. Just enjoy this curious and sweet new member of your family. Tell him what you are doing. Name the foods and treats you give him. Talk to him as if he were one of your children. Our greys understand so much and they really do try to be part of the family. Give Timmy a chance to understand things and words and I bet he will be pop out with a word or phrase sooner or later. Just be patient and enjoy this bundle of grey feathers!

[hammco]

After 11 days with me.....Well, the past 2 days have NOT been good, seems like Timmy is starting to hate me! I cannot get him out of his cage at all, he pins his pupils, hisses, sticks out neck feathers, bobs head up and down VERY hard and tries to go in for the kill on my finger. He plays alot with his toys and likes to go on top of his cage to the play area up there, and he comes and go as he wants to. When he is out of the cage its fairly easy to step up, but I can tell he dont want to. Im scared he is the one doing the training and he is training me to never get near him. I havent heard any noises at all excent a couple whistles the other day.

 

Im starting to wonder if the people I got him from sold him because he is mean and dont like people at all. I got a feeling he will never let me pet him. Do yall think Im making a conclusion too fast, or is there a good chance that he will just be mean?

[judygram]

Do yall think Im making a conclusion too fast, or is there a good chance that he will just be mean?

 

Yes, it is much too soon to make such a fast judgment and I don't think he is mean, he is just starting to show more of his true personality, remember I told you that you were in the honeymoon phase and he was on his best behavior but now he is starting to unpack his bags and you will see more of the true Timmy. Not to alarm you but it will take time, a lot more than 11 days, you must learn some patience for you will need it in the coming weeks and months. Please just allow him to settle in and don't take his behavior as a setback, definitely don't take it personal, he is a wild animal and his trust has to be earned. Otherwise I think you are doing fine, if he thinks you are too close to him then back off some as you may be trying to rush him for more than he will allow, take your time and see what happens.

[Barbara2]

I would also add to continue to offer treats. If he won't take it from your fingers, let him see you dropping it into his bowl. This helps to show him that you bring good things.

[Ray P]

Take your time with him and spend a lot of time with him he will come around

We rehomed blue front amazon almost 2 years ago that came with not just bags but a big trunk to unpack but after 2 months she was a diffrent bird.

We spent a lot of extra time with her but boy was it worth it. Know after almost 2 yrars she is the sweetest girl.

You will see it getting better and better as time goes by untill one day you will see she is part of the family

[hammco]

OK guys, Im having my doubts........

 

Timmy WILL NOT come out of his cage at all for 2 days now unless he is already out on his own, "step up" means nothing to him now! He is mean as heck, even if I tempt him with an apple or pringle chip. I just dont know what I am doing wrong...it was awesome at first but seems to be going downhill FAST!

 

any ideas or suggestions?

[Barbara2]

I can only tell you my limited experience. I got a baby TAG, four months old, on September 28th. My husband brought him home from the airport and from the moment he came in the house, I did pretty much everything with him. My husband held back because he knew I wanted this to be my bird and he was concerned it might bond with him. (I was not concerned.) He was able to scratch Neo's head and give him treats. A couple of weeks ago that changed. I'm not sure what did it but I think it was the day that my husband had the other two birds out and was interacting with them. So far those two birds are not part of Neo's "flock". They don't get along...yet. Now if he tries to pet Neo, he gets the ruffled feathers and beak up. He can still give treats and is slowly working to being able to pet him again. I told him he just has to be patient and keep trying to get his hand a little closer.

[Luvparrots]

Our greys have their own personalities. Their own way of life and we have to respect it. Just give Timmy some space. Just like people, enough is enough and everyone needs a time out. My grey is out almost all day as I am retired. She is flighted and my house if accident proof for her as much as I can think of. Ana Grey enjoys sitting on her boing in my office while I am typing or reading. She enjoys my company but she enjoys her freedom as well. I have foraging toys and wooden toys to chew on all over the place. Let Timmy find himself and I believe he will want to be with you more because it is his choice. So relax and let Timmy explore on his own (while he is in your sight off course as they are little mischief makers!!!!)

 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 1, 2010 by luvparrots

[Barbara2]

I forgot to mention that hubby is still allowed to be "the savior". When I was giving Neo his bath and he was hating every minute of it, he flew off and went right for hubby who did a step up and took him to his playstand.

[Azzie]

Animals don't have it in them to be mean or nasty. That sort of behaviour requires a conscience, an ego so to speak. If this bird has been left to his own devices, neglected and ignored, then it's going to take time to undo that damage. An animal isn't capable of rational thought. He cannot understand you mean him no harm and want to be his buddy. He is acting purely in instinct, how the current situation is making him feel.

Persist, keep at it, but go slow. It is this kind of behaviour in a bird that turns them into neglected and abused animals, and those are the ones most in need of extra input.

 

If he won't take treats from your hand, then don't force him to take it. Put them somewhere where he can grab them when he's ready. He will have seen you put the treats there, he will know they came from you. By trying to force him to take it from you when he doesn't want to, the bird can't help BUT become aggressive, because in spite of your good intentions, to the bird it is still forcing. The bird then lashes out because he feels threatened, and gets labeled as a bad bird.

 

An example of that: A family dog gets hit by a car and has injuries. The owner goes over to get the dog and comfort it, and promptly gets bitten by his dog. Why? The dog is in pain, he is hurt and feels threatened, and the only thing he can do is lash out, even though the human's intentions are good, but the dog doesn't know that. Instinct kicks in and makes it react.

 

You have to go at the pace of the bird. When he gives his warning signs, he's telling you it's too much, back off or get bitten. The more you try to push your will onto the bird, the less trust he will have in you.

 

I know this has been mentioned to you before, but it doesn't sound like you are following this advice, if the bird is still giving you warning signs and "being mean as heck". I know you mean well, that much is very evident, but I am going to be blunt here. Who is being mean here, the bird by trying to tell you that you are too close and to back off, or you, who is trying to force your will onto a bird who's giving clear signs he's not ready yet to interact with you on that level?

[judygram]

Hammco, you have only had Timmy for a couple of weeks and that is not near enough time to make such judgments about Timmy, he is not mean but he has been mistreated in his former home and he has not had enough time to get used to you yet so be patient with him and give him some space, you are going to have to earn his trust so don't push him right now.

Azzie has given you some sound advice so slow down and take it easy with Timmy, you will never win him over with force.

[hammco]

OK, heres the deal, my mind is made up!

 

Today is gonna be day # 1 with Timmy, starting over on my approach. Obviously I have been hard-headed and impatient and thats the end of that. Timmy definetly lets me know when he dont want to be messed with me and Im gonna follow his lead on that. He takes treats from my hand so I have a good "new" starting point. When he comes out of the cage to explore the cage top and window ledge Im not going near him, just talk is all Ill do. He wants to explore and it will help him get used to everything. I am sorry I asked for advice and didnt use it like I should have, but the initial excitement of owning a grey just overwhelmed me. Yall have been very helpful and Im gonna stick to yalls ideas and advice!

 

On a good note, this morning my mom came over to pick up my kids and said "pretty bird" to Timmy, and he whistled a smooth, long drawn out wolf whistle to her...his first deliberate sound! As well, my wife thought the oven timer was going off, but guess what, it was Timmy!!!!!

[danmcq]

It sounds like the honeymoon is over and you are seeing his true character. Just go slow and easy. Let him come out on his own, choose and if he wishes to interact with you, if you ask for a step-up and you don't see that foot come up, just tell him it's ok in happy voice and do something else so he does not feel threatened by a demand and he see's you respect him and his body language. Just accept him for where is is, who he is and he will respect you back for doing that. This is the only way a relatioship, no matter what level it winds up being will develop into all that it can be.

 

Imagine if you were rehomed and everyone just expected you to act like one of the family? It wouldn't happen until you found you place in there environment and you would interact with them at your comfort level, not theirs.

[Luvparrots]

Love your new attitude!!!!! Let Timmy set the pace and you will be rewarded ten-fold. He is already making his mark. Whistling at your Mom, what a Cad!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

[hammco]

Thanks for the positive responses!

 

Today I started cutting grapes into pieces (1/4) and tempting Timmy with those. He comes out of the cage and right to wherever I am to get it, then takes it back in the cage to eat it. Thats gonna be his "good boy" treat since he LOVES them and Ill have the upper hand when it comes to his grape!!! Also, my son and I were putting a Lego toy together and had a thousand colorful pieces all on the floor...Timmy came out of the cage, across the window ledge, onto the recliner, onto the other end of the couch to get a good look at what we were doing...he was looking like he wanted to play with us and the toys, but I just talked to him cause if he wanted to get off the couch he is smart enough to do so, and he just wanted to watch so I left it at that. I feel today was a good day! I asked to step up a couple times and the leg came up, but, I saw the look in his eyes and he was trying to sucker punch me, so Ill try again tomorrow, haha!

[Azzie]

That's exactly it, if he felt confident enough to join you on the floor, he would have. So leaving him to it was the best thing you could have done. Go easy on feeding grapes though, as they contain a lot of iron. From what I've read, experts recommend no more than 2 grapes a day for a grey. Maybe you could try sunflower seeds as a treat. One seed when he's been a good lad as a reward.

 

I am a little concerned about the use of the phrase "upper hand". Parrots don't respond positively at all to being dominated. If you want a good relationship with Timmy it needs to be based on mutual trust and respect. You can use food as rewards, or even a bribe, but bribes only really work to encourage a bird to do what it's willing to do anyway. If a bird isn't willing to step up, trying to bribe with a reward just isn't going to work. However if a bird IS quite happy to step up usually, but won't this time, a bribe might well persuade him to do so.

[judygram]

Finally you are taking our advice, I am glad you found that this will not be an overnight fix, this is going to be a long slow process but at least you have the right attitude now and taking it slow for many weeks and months down the road you will find you did the right thing. Just think in terms of small steps, what you accomplish at one time may not be much but it all adds up to eventually earning Timmy's trust and you will earn it.

[Azzie]

 

Check out this link, it contains some really useful info on body language. It's made by a New Zealand guy named Andrew, who lost his beloved grey Tui after following the advice from "expert" Chet Womach ( who else! ).

[hammco]

Timmy sent me off to work feeling good this morning. While I was giving him food and water, he greeted me with a big loud wolf whistle!! I've only done it to him 10000 times, and it must mean progress since he intentionally did it to me. maybe he will greet me again when I come home for lunch...we will see!!

[Acappella]

Glad you've decided to let Timmy have some control over his own life. Greys need it. The differences between a flock mentality and that of a pack animal like a dog are so huge. The other huge difference of course is life-span. If you told a dog owner that it could take 2 years to make progress on a certain behavioural issue in hand, they'd look at you like a crazy person, but with a bird that live for decades, 2 years is the blink of an eye. I'm going to post a long update about my Dorian soon, but just to give you an idea of our journey, it took two years of me sitting in his room watching a 10" tv, instead of my comfy living room, before I could take him from room to room, and another year before he would get on the play stand I had in the other room. It was finally his decision that he would rather venture outside of his comfort zone (he came to me TOTALLY cage-bound) and be with me, than have me leave him behind in his room as I worked around the house. Have fun getting to know your new flock-mate!