katana600

I like that about a study of one as well. Not only one parrot, but one day at a time. Just when you think you are understanding cause and effect with a parrot, they will teach you something new the next day. Sometimes life with Gilbert reminds me of the Star Trek episodes with "The Borg". The line "they've assimilated" was bad news for every new tactic. Every time we make a change or try something new, Gilbert will take that in and put it in his little ditty bag to pull out for me and confound me another day.

Well said and well done sister. Now take a little break, listen contently. Do you feel your shoulders start slipping down from that tension that had them up around your ears? All the doctoring and caretaking takes a toll on you. You have been commendable for your fortitude and determination. Now, have a sip of something you enjoy, put your feet up and just bask in the glow of your flock. You deserve it. Everything is going to be okay, Gilbert tells me this almost every day.

Oh, I am getting more motivated by the moment... not to lose weight but wondering about that superglue the man used to glue his hardhat to a steel beam. Imagine hubby returning from a business trip, after a long flight and finding me hanging upside down from a chandelier? Now, I must consider how to anchor it. Those flimsy little electric boxes popped into the plaster won't cut it.

That is good news, wish I felt the same when my scales go up a few. I avoid those scales like Gilbert avoids a shower. I will have to remember that when I spray him again and have a little more compassion. He will still get a shower, just with empathy. LOL.

Oh deary me, that is funny. I will practice standing on one leg with the other one tucked up.

Thanks Dave, that helps a lot.

Your photos are amazing. With Casper being such a photogenic little star, he could be a poster child for encouraging someone to provide forever homes. Great job with him. We just had a let down with our vet concerning a DNA testing mixup with our rehomed guy. Just last night, he lost a feather with a tiny bit of blood in the tip. When I read your post, I sent for a kit straight away. Your timing is perfect. Thanks. Congrats on the confirmation that Casper is your boy!

Yep. I am with ya on this one. My coffee went cold while I wondered what to do with my morning without my usual routine. And they say greys like routine and predictability. LOL. Glad to have it all back together again. Whew! I'll start with fresh coffee and turn my clock back so I can figure out what to do next. LOL.

Somehow it is sooo much funnier looking at it on someone else instead of over the shoulder, in the mirror.

Thank you Chelsea, I just have to tell you and all our forum friends that every post becomes part of my life and helps direct the journey we have with Gilbert. When they say it takes a village, you are my village. Silly Biscotti just happens to be auditioning for the jester. LOL. Thanks for your kind words and for just being you. Biscotti may have started out filling a hole in your life but he is so much more and it is obvious, you are his mentor and his rock. Isn't nice he can be perfect in my eyes 'cause he will likely never get into trouble, or chase my dogs, or put holes in my belongings, or make any messes in my house? Kudos to you for being his friend.

I absolutely do not think you are bad for having these thoughts. We put our heart and souls into bringing these parrots into our lives for the decades we expect them to be with us. You've had the inkling something was wrong and it is beyond me that the breeder didn't recognize it, the original vet didn't give you forewarning and a groomer clipped her wings poorly. You have probably been worrying and second guessing yourself and trying to be calm. My first thought is this... the breeder should offer you another bird. This may not be genetic, but I would talk with your avian vet about that because if it is, you may get your hopes up and have it happen again. Next, if they are able to offer you another grey, is there any chance you could keep Whitney and a new baby? Just a thought. You and Whitney have probably already bonded and you probably are in no hurry to return her just wondering about long term health implications and her safety. It is all still kind of new and a lot to cope with at the moment. You will have time to sort things through and come up with what is best.

My yes, my heart was going pitter patter and it wasn't entirely from the awe and joy either. He came quickly toward my face at one point and tilted his head looking at me and it was hard to have faith that it was curiousity and not a prelude to a cobra strike. I just talked to him and he did a few of what we refer to as smart-alec retorts. One is from last year, the "wee wee weee" of the little pig in the Geico commercials. The other is kind of new. He says "wier", it is bit of a cross between a started cat and an in-your-face comeback. We are all doing it now. David says when he is in a big meeting and the boss is being a little "prickly" he is going to give him one of those. Wier. There is just no comeback for it except another wier. Gilbert will hear all of us on the screen porch and sometimes start up that game. Also, sometimes he asks for a cracker and what he really wants is an almond and if we give him anything but an almond, he gives us the wier. Thanks Dan, I learned everything I am trying to apply to Gilbert from the advice on this forum. Every situation and every older grey is a new case study, but Gilbert is slowly coming around and I think that is because he takes a long time to get comfortable and although his past shapes that, it is also his innate cautiousness and personality. When anyone brings home a grey of any age, but moreso with the older ones, giving them room and letting them lead the way in the relationship is something they need. It is a long road, no rush to get over the grey speed limit. Slow and steady brings great rewards.

I just can not tell you how much I appreciate you posting your video, I keep going back just for the chance to laugh with Biscotti. Tonight it was even more meaningful because Gilbert gave me a window of opportunity to hold him. He likes to listen to this video from across the room so I brought him to my computer and he sat on the arm of my chair to watch this again with me. That was the beginning of our very best together time since he came here eighteen months ago. Who knew Biscotti would be our little touchstone and bird whisperer? It means so much more to me since I have been following your posts since the beginning and if memory serves me right, he is the age that Kopi and Juno would be so watching him also seems like a little winged angel connecting our lives.

I had to come back to see what time I posted because when Gilbert "went over the edge" he decided he wanted to be with me. We watched the Biscotti "Ride em Biscotti Bird" together. He hung out for a little while on top of his floor stand. He asked me to step up when he was on the floor stand. It has been months since he has offered me a step up unless he was being rescued from the floor. Then he got on my lap on the sofa. He climbed up and down from my chest to my toes. Once he was startled and he jumped off my feet on the ottoman but scaled the nearby wire dog crate to get high enough to jump back onto the ottoman. He finally settled on my shoulder and we both fell asleep for an hour. This is epic in our relationship. He was so sweet. He has been content before to sit for a short time, no more than fifteen minutes usually, on the back of the sofa, or the arm of my chair. This was the first time for us to be that close for this long. At one point after standing my my stocking feet and flapping, he made his way back up to where I was reclined and stood on my chest and looked me in the eye from three inches away and said "wee wee wee" and "hey". He stopped a couple of times and got warm and cozy on my tummy and I asked for a scratch. He bowed his head, but would pull back and look, then bow, then jump. He just wasn't sure about this closeness AND touching so I didn't push him. It didn't end as well as I would have hoped because it was just too darn intoxicating to ask him to go back. We both drifted off to sleep and I knocked the tv remote to the floor. The noise startled Gilbert and he lost one feather in the ensuing panic and flapping. He is happily preening in his cage and I ran to the computer to tell all of you, we have had a major breakthrough. Oh, and he pooped on me from head to toe and pooped on the sofa and I just changed my clothes, scrubbed the sofa and all is well in our world.

In eighteen months, Gilbert has gone from being terrified of each of us to tolerating each person slowly on his own terms. My husband and one daughter are often offered a step up from his cage whereas for a few weeks he will not step up for me unless he comes from one of them. It is a work in progress and when he is sweet to one of us, we all take advantage of that. Since he won't come to me from his cage, they will offer him a step up and I will stand there and get a hand off from them to me and he is fine with that. It does take a lot of time and understanding and kindness. I am certain that if your husband continues to speak kindly and offer treats to Momo, he will come around and be more tolerant of him and maybe even get to the point of seeking his companionship. For months, even if someone offered Gilbert a treat he would fling it to the floor with disdain. If he threw down a treat from David, I would not intervene and give it to Gilbert. He slowly learned we are a family unit and a flock and it is all for one and one for all. It is taking a long long time, but it has been well worth it.

I am perplexed as to what he is doing. He called me over with his sweet talk. When I got there he ran as fast as he could and hung down over the side of the cage. He is not offering his foot to step up and I think he is trying to bite me. But, then he starts doing some gestures that look like "peek a boo" where he turns his back and then spins around really fast and bobs up and down excitedly. He is not showing any body language that looks like he is upset. He is talking sweetly all the while. I walked to the far side of his cage and he ran so fast that he couldn't stop and hit the bar of the playtop perimeter with his chest and jumped right onto the floor. He came right to me and offered a step up and now he is sitting on my lap at the computer chirping, talking and being very involved and sweet. I will keep playing it as I see it. I wouldn't intentionally agitate him for the world but if he is looking to interact more, I will play along.

You know, for months I have been focused on reassuring Gilbert, minimizing stress and building trust. Last night David walked up to his cage while Gilbert was on the play top. Gilbert scurried right to the edge and I thought he was giving David the rush and starting the shadow game. Instead, he ran right to the edge then positioned himself for a scratch. When David gave him a little scratch he went about his business just fine. After David got ready for bed, Gilbert enticed him over with his "hey" for another scratch. Minutes later, I took the dogs out and when I came past the cage on the way back in, Gilbert chased me. I walked back to the other end of the cage and he came bouncing and running and was posturing for a tussle. I generally don't want to make any issues between him and the cage but I am noticing something different as this unfolds. He will chase me and he will come to the edge of the playtop and just hunker down and watch me. I am absolutely certain he is trying to lure me in so he can bite me. He runs around that cagetop like a little madman. He grabs whatever toy is closest to him and shakes the snot out of it. Just think, a month ago he was just barely, tentatively touching those toys and then jumping back and shivering. I am beginning to wonder if this is the beginning of tough "play". He seems to want to be a tough guy. I don't stand there looking to tick him off or provoke him, I usually just talk to him and ask what he is doing and I don't touch his cage or anything on it. But, I have noticed that afterward he is like the energizer bunny up there with more activity than he would have previously mustered in a week. I am wondering if this is a play fighting that he is learning to use to express himself. After a two minute play session, his eyes are bright and if he had an expression, it might be glee. This is all so new it is hard to find a way to interpret it but I am seeing signs that it might actually be good for him. His posture and feathers are not indicating that he is upset, he is not chewing nervously on his feathers, he just seems more vibrant and aware. I am going to tread lightly with this one and just give him a wide berth. I know darn well if he could get to me he has every intention of biting me but I can't really tell if that is because he feels safe (as in he is able to predict that I am not going to hurt him) and is playing rough or if he is getting more brazen about his cage possession. He doesn't do this with anyone but me. Conversely, if he is right in the middle of this vigilant behavior and I reach inside his cage under him, he will bow his head for a scratch. When I take my hand back outside of his cage, he goes right back to the confrontational stance and runs and shakes a toy. He really has a gleam in his eye. Minutes later, he will go inside to his favorite perch to say "hey" to entice me to come back over and scratch his head. My thoughts on it are positive, I do think he is figuring out ways of moderating his emotions and that is better than being huddled up in a quivering little statue. He definitely seems to be gaining confidence and his increased exercise seems to be doing him some good.

I don't know about Bubba, but if I were watching you closely as you tried to be calm, dress to leave the house, prepare the travel cage etc. I know I would be thinking about that vet and his stretching procedure. I am thinking that "just a bite" might not be enough of a full on assault only to be completed by scratching your eyes out so you couldn't see to drive. LOL. Seriously, I am sorry about the painful bite, you are just doing what you've gotta do. Your description of Gabby, Pat and Bubba was hilarious. They are all quite the characters. There is never a dull moment at your place. Can you remember what you did for fun and laughs before you adopted your flock?

Glad that you and Coco weathered the storm of your first crisis. I was impressed that you could be calm enough to find a way to release his leg without further injury to him or to you. Glad this is turning out to be okay.

She is so cute standing there practicing. I love her little kisses. When I listened the first time, I thought I heard her say "little kiss" but then read what it "might" sound like and listened a few more times trying to decipher it. In short order she will be making sure you know exactly what she is saying. She is an adorable little daddy's girl.

Dan, you don't know how hard it is for me not to climb a ladder to replace that bulb but Gilbert is enjoying this play so much I can't resist leaving the room just a little off kilter. Maybe this is a test of my own tendency to fix things and this is one that just needs to be left alone to play itself out. It was incredibly interesting that with his back to me, he knew that I was making my shadow touch his shadow. You are right about a shadow causing a disturbance with him months ago. That was when I was first getting him adjusted here and I would go around the room turning off one lamp at a time in the evening as cues in our bedtime routine. I would leave one lamp on close to my chair and then he would come sit on my lap for a very short head scratch session. I turned off the wrong lamp and when my hand caused an unexpected shadow to pass over Gilbert, he bit my finger really deep. I thought it was just the motion that scared him, but you may be onto something with it being shadow related. He seems to really love his own shadow. I will be more careful not to touch his shadow. LOL. He sure has a lot of rules. I have been thinking more and more how he reminds me of Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory. I love Sheldon too. Gilbert definitely has been more expressive lately and he knows how to get his point across, no pun intended. LOL.

Great idea, thanks for posting. We have not had much feather destruction for a while, but I would be willing to work with this group. I will let you know how it works out.

Congrats on your bouncing baby boy. He is such a beautiful sweet little guy. He is a great addition to your flock. I am looking forward to seeing him grow and change.

It is really hard at the moment of a bite to remember that it is about Gilbert, where he has been and how things affect him instead of just the searing reaction to pain and apparent rejection. With Gilbert, if I can find a cause or trigger that will repeat itself, I can avoid those reactions. With him, the important thing is to stop, walk away and try again from another approach. When he is sweet he is really really a wonderful little fellow. When I can help him to calm down and then try again with his treats or giving him an opportunity to end an interaction in a positive way, it really goes a long way toward helping him get one step closer to being able to calm himself. We always have to look at the big picture and how far he has come since the day he arrived. When he asserts himself, chases Java or runs to defend his cagetop, it pleases me greatly because of the amount of time he has spent huddled on a perch, afraid to move and apprehensive about any kind of movement or overture. The fact that he has been so lovey to David and to Rachel helps me appreciate that he is developing the ability to make good choices for himself and also the ability just to calm himself when things seem stressful to him. A year ago, he might have chewed off feathers and now he is getting a dose of courage. While it may not be good for me at the moment, I know it is a self-regulating behavior that is much healthier than turning inward and shutting everyone out. I may never understand him but I will celebrate every milestone he crosses on the way to finding his potential.