katana600

Miss Gilbert is ever evolving and it's a challenge to sort out 'new' behavior until I stand back to see where it leads. Her cage is a prime example. There are times or phases when she is fiercely antagonistic, simply walking by when she is on the top will provoke her and she runs at me with fire in her eyes, trying to bite me in the face. Putting food and water in her cage is an ever changing challenge. If she is in one of those moods she will see me coming, position herself for battle and then I do a quick switch up and use a bowl on the opposite side. She will get her hackles up and dash over trying to catch me and will go I to a flurry of very emphatically swiping out every morsel to the bottom of her cage. She will upend the cup and send it clanging to the floor of her cage. My best bet there is to leave her be and let her eat from the floor papers until she gets out of the cage. Then I lock the door, reach in through the food doors. I leave the food door open and when she is darn good and ready she will enter the cage through there and all is well. There is no doubt from her cobra sway, tightly slicked back feathers and fierceness, she was intentionally giving me the heave ho message. Five minutes later when I told her I was leaving, she tucks her head to ask for a long scritch session. Still, even with the intensity and hostility of the hair pulling, when I drew away and spoke quietly to her, you can see the tension fade as I move out of the cage zone. I know she wants her cage to be her safe retreat. I also know she was chased out with brooms or vacuum cleaners to frighten her enough to try to escape. I try to respect her space and always let her cage be her domain and respite, but it does need cleaned and stocked with food and water daily. For the first year she needed her cage barren and huddled on one perch trembling day and night. Conversely, on top of her cage while I share my oatmeal every morning, I am using shorter and shorter spoons so my fingers are gradually closer. She sometimes reaches and touches the back of her beak in a tap on my finger before taking a huge gulp. She also looks under the bowl and gently touches that hand several times in a session. Her tolerance for having my hands near (as long as she is not inside her cage) is growing. It may be a nanosecond at a time, but progress is progress. I do know she is insanely aware and exquisitely intelligent, the same as all our other forum flocks. We are only at the cusp of human understanding of their potential.

My family has seeds they gather from one crop to the next. We will be visiting next week and I will ask. They get a lot from the Pennsylvania and Ohio Amish communities. I am guessing you are within driving distance. I may be able to volunteer and help out some time.

Thanks. That could be a life saver.

Time will tell if it was worth the three years. My bite was off and causing some bizarre migraine-like symptoms. I have upper and lower retainers that prevent the crushing clenched jaw and am so relieved to be able to eat, chew and floss u encumbered. Some teeth gapped again overnight, but that's expected as they settle. I can't stop smiling. I see Gilbert watching my face intently while I share oatmeal or stand next to her to give her a scratch. She leaned over this morning and pulled my hair real hard when I bent in to clean her cage papers. I moved to the side to protect my face with the bars between us. She slowly and carefully got closer and pulled my hair again, biting and grinding to tear off a chunk. I leaned back slowly and asked her quietly "Gilbert, why would you do that? That hurts me." She coolly maintained eye contact a d in an equally quiet and calm voice she said "ouch". It didn't seem like she was mocking more like an agreement that hurt means ouch. Slow subtle changes, I can't put my finger on it but its forward progress.

This is one of my favorite threads. I am so impressed with the way you helped Lulu integrate into your flock. I bet she greets the world every day with unbridled enthusiasm. She should, she has landed in paradise.

What I have learned from those who have gone before me is to watch Bogart in much the same way as he is observing and learning about you. When you move forward and he responds happily, you can be encouraged to slowly move forward again. When you are met with resistance, give it a little time and try again. Another piece of early advice is that greys are subtle. If they try to move away or posture to you to back off, you may get no warning before a bite. In their mind the bite was the last resort. But, if we continue to overstep the comfort zone he may get used to the behavior and bite first and then it becomes habit. The more you encourage Bogart to interact without biting, the more he will expect you to not need that message. It's a delicate balance. As time goes on, you will learn much from him. Trust your own instincts.

Miss Gilbert is surely the most perfect parrot ever created. That's why she has had such a long adjustment time living with her slow-learning imperfect companion.

Even though the macaw babies are beautiful and awe inspiring, I can't take my eyes off the darling little grey baby. Mine were the love of my life and were gone too soon. Since I don't live near a breeder and we can't bring home any babies, I get that baby fix from other forum members. Thanks so much. I love every minute of it from afar.

Your garden is beautiful. I voted. Silly me, I saw the "dee" under the picture and thought they knew my name.

I am still in the camp that takes commands. There are certain requests that may give the appearance that Miss Gilbert is willing to accommodate me. I have no illusions, when I tell her its bed time or to go inside because I am leaving the house visitors are quite impressed. But the truth is, she is hustling her little feathered tail to get inside the second I stand up or walk toward her.

Every day is something new for Miss Gilbert. Yesterday she had no reaction at all to my smile without braces. No one could be more happy than I, happy happy joy joy. I can whistle again and I can talk without a lisp again. This morning as I worked in the kitchen, I heard Java sounding her "Wrong!", game show buzzer. She really stuck to it, so I came to check on them. Gilbert has found a way to get onto Java's cage. They are 3 feet apart and too high off the floor for Gil to climb. She had to have been inspired to hop/fly over there and she has never done it before. She wanted no part of getti g off there either. I had to pull my old standby sock puppet behind the cage and she jumped right off and landed right on my chest. It was quite the commotion but she stepped up onto my hand and then hopped right into her own cage. She still will do everything possible to avoid any contact with me for the most part. She is so suspicious that if I stand up she makes a running dive to the safety of her cage. One day that will change. Even though today wasn't really her idea to get on me and she hopped off quick like I might hop off a fire ant mound, there was no bloodshed and I put a tick mark in the "positive" exchange column. :-)

Oh wow. That one made me cry and that's rare for me. All of your thoughts, all of your kindness inspire me yo do better for her. I do want to be her shelter and also the wind when she needs a gust to lift her up. I do love her even when I am exasperated and don't feel like even liking her very much when she has been a pip. After a low point, there is no place to look but up. We had the greatest couple of days. While I was in the kitchen she flew to me and flew around a corner even. I lifted her up and she sat on the floor stand for more than an hour while I cooked for our outdoor deck building contractors. She wasn't at all bothered by seeing or hearing her out the window. Later when I went to the living room, I offered a step up and she sat on my hand albeit VERY nervously and skittish while I towed the perch close to my chair. I took a deep breath and offered her an almond and she was gentle. I pushed my luck and gave her a pine nut just for the thrill of it or maybe just to have a more positive thought about it. After a few quiet minutes, I saw her looking at her cage and asked "wanna go back?" You could see the pure relief in her face. Her "shoulders" drooped and relaxed. She leaned eagerly toward me and swayed. She quickly stepped up and "flew" the last foot to the cage top as we approached. And then I gave her some watermelon I was cutting up. It has been offered and rejected too many times to count. This time, she reveled in it. I am not sure if the mess or the realization that she just had unbridled enthusiasm was more breathtaking and awe inspiring. What a MESS. What joy! I am going to follow that link again. Thank you so much for lifting us up, all of you.

Welcome home Kilaya, you may be small but I bet you already know your new home is special. It's always too soon to say goodbye so your first love, Cocoa. As you pick up the pieces of your broken hearts, you will find your smiles, laughter and joy again with Kilaya. Thank you for staying with us and sharing this delightful news.

Interestingly enough he had nerve damage from a complicated birth that left him with no feeling in his fingertips. He really wouldn't have a reaction to her bite yet he is much more hesitant to reach for her after seeing her bite me. He has seen her 'rage in the cage' when she has had a close encounter. It's fearsome. She hasn't had a bad one in a while where she would strike the bars, upend every dish and snatch up toys. Thankfully they don't last long and are getting fewer in frequency and milder in fury. He sits on the steps and asks her "Why do you do that to mama? I'm not going to cook your beans or clean your cage or be home with you." He enjoys her 'good' side but like most people asks why would you keep a creature who would bite you and could do so much damage with no provocation. The answer is just because I didn't poke her with a stick or taunt her doesn't mean she isn't provoked. I may not be the direct cause of her disturbance but I am part of the whole picture that has produced this anxious, caged, highly intelligent synergy. It's all about where we are today, the many who have gone before us leading the way, sometimes making mistakes, sometimes having brilliant insights. We have come far and the road stretches ahead. We have passed the point of no return and now we must work to understand and to make life the best it can be for our companions.

They are all so individual. I agree that they remember. I am so sorry for both of you getting bitten. Its such a painful shock and I haven't needed stitches! I was angry too. I haven't been one to stoically take a bite and say nothing. With Gilbert, she most likes to be in her cage and to communicate from a distance. Sending her to her cage or ignoring her is as rewarding as tossing Brer Rabbit into the briar patch. When she asked for that first pine nut, I may have been standing in a spot that she perceived to block her egress from cage top to inside. She has been accepting oatmeal on the cage top and I mistook it for progress because I so want to gain her trust. We aren't there yet. There was a little voice saying "don't let her that close to a finger without bars between us", I was aware she might not be ready. She misread the "usual" where I tell her it's time to go to bed, she asks for a treat. I get a treat and stand back while she goes inside. She will take it from my fingers while inside. The thing Gilbert does is posture for a scratch but spend several starts and stops of offering her bowed head, turning to look. She repeats it over and over while I speak softly and reassure her. Sometimes she can relax for a brief touch and sometimes I tell her it's okay and I walk away. My fingertip is still torn and sore and every time I bump it I momentarily fantasize going to have a shout at her. I'm absolutely certain she has the memory to recall everything in her lifetime. I also believe she distrusts me for reasons that are from her past and not particularly about me. It is particularly evident when she tries to get close to David but if his hands are close and she doesn't have the safety of the bars between them she tucks her head but when he draws close she tries to bite him too.

I've never seen anything like that. What a wonderful surprise. I think hot air balloons, kites and parrots tweak some primal urge for flying. I love all of it.

It's true. We really are barely at the beginning of our story, yet it seems like a lifetime of changes. All in grey time.

These greys are so much the individuals. Gil is not so attached to me that she would care if I ignored her and in fact that may be her preference. After I have been struck by her lightning quick beak, time will unfold the catalyst. I was really mad that day and thought unpleasantness toward her. She DID laugh when I told her to go inside. Even when I heard that plaintive "I sorry" as she told her tale a couple of days later it didn't really pave the way to softening my mood. I really can see how it could create an estrangement and fear of each other and spiral. I had to be mindful that to her, after the moment, it is over. My reaction will set the stage for moving forward or setting us back. I choose to get back in the game. For a couple of days, it was with sweaty palms. When I offers her a treat, I went for the almonds and I couldn't bring myself to offer her pine nuts with "protection". What I have discovered is when she is on the brink of a milestone moment, she is more likely to snap. I noticed her poo in an unusual spot. The first day, I thought perhaps David had given her a lift back to her cage and I cleaned it up. There was another spot in the same place day two. I meant to ask him and forgot. When I was in the kitchen preparing a month of food cups for them, I went to the cage to give them treats and she was gone. I am not even out of her sight and I know she didn't fly. As I looked for her I found more day old dried poo behind the sofa. She has been climbing down the ladder and exploring. Just like when she chewed up the door frame she has been doing this while I am in the room and I never saw her. Mainly it's because she usually panics and flaps and makes a fuss if she is startled off her cage and until now she has seldom left her cage on purpose. Even more shocking was when I finally did find her she came to me, lifted her foot willingly for a step up but then got nervous and she flew up from the floor to grab her cage about halfway up and scamper back in on her own. This is a game changer. I never leave her out of her cage while I am occupied on a different floor. The house is well parrot proofed and the dogs usually will run to me to tell if she is on the floor but in stealth mode, they didn't notice either. She is become more mobile, more self reliant and more confident. Something tells me she will never cease to surprise and delight me. I am so glad I didn't allow my hurt feelings and finger to speak to her louder than my heart.

It seems no matter where we are in life or how long our parrot companion is with us, nothing compares nor prepares us for the profound loss and grief. My sincere condolences to you as you make sense of it and find a way to fill the void from your beloved Oprah.

Thanks for reading, for encouragement and for helping us laugh through the hard times as well as the funny ones. It is a dauntingly long thread and often seems like a book. It has been a tool for me to go back and read, to look at her early pictures and see that healing and building trust comes very slowly but it does come. Thank you Jeff for the kindness to say we could write a book. I will talk it over with Miss Gilbert and when she is ready to call our relationship successful, I may think about it a bit. I don't know what it is, but there is always something interesting going on, maybe I am drawn to it. More like, once I see what needs to be done, I can't turn away. Since that's how Gilbert came to me in the first place, it must be a gift.

My name is Dee and I am a grey sniffer. I risk piercing my nose or getting an eye put out but am not willing to stop. They sent me home from the funny farm, no discounts. Hahahahaha

What a difference a day makes. We had some excitement today. We have a work crew here, I will spare you the graphic details but it included ambulance. Gilbert reminds me of the Don Henley "Dirty Laundry". She is telling all about it with a gleam in her eye. She mimics the siren, the circular saw, the pneumatic wrenches, the dogs barking. She is really animated and full of excitement. After the crisis and seeing him off in the ambulance, I did the only sensible thing, ironed sheets to calm my mind. Gilbert has no intention of calming down. She really seems to relish the excitement. It's not like anything I have seen from her. She has come a long way from hiding in a panic at the sound of a car door or thunder. Oh, yes. Now its starting to storm and she hasn't even noticed. Who knows what we will have tomorrow but today she is the news anchor telling her story over and over.

No harm, no foul. It's her way of expression and there was a much bigger pile of wood than feathers. When I got the broom to clean it up she exclaimed "sh#! On the floor!" She has come a long way from the catatonic frozen state of her first two years. I think she has about this much time with previous owners. Maybe she is anticipating that kind of change and is preempting to rid herself of that nervous tension. Maybe she is unpacking just a little more of that infamous rescue baggage. I see her making progress even in the midst of less desirable behaviors. She is getting ever closer to that normal grey. Some day we will look back and be grateful these days have passed. I surely hope we don't look back a d say this weekend was "the good old days". We will take the hand we're dealt, up the ante and hope for an ace in the hole. She is going to be a treasured companion in spite of her shenanigans. Or rather, because of the uniqueness and enigma that is Miss Gilbert my little Cajun pearl.

When we first got our greys they went through an "I love you" stage. Two were male babies, one was an older female. It could be just a nervous excitement of showing someone new to them they want to be really good friends. Distraction is the best defense, and that droopy wing love dance didn't stay around long. You and Gizmo seem off to a good start. You have already been amazed and thrilled by Yewbie and will soon be captivated by the unique and exquisite creature who will completely steal your heart. Thanks for joining us and sharing the journey.

What a day of "point" "counterpoint" between two determined and headstrong females. For a while now she has been pulling her stainless steel food and water cups out and flinging them to the floor as soon as I change them in the morning. I have tried a few things but even though I bought 20 sets of bowls and rings at the same time from the same company they vary slightly in size so making a dent to hold them down hasn't been effective. Today I found heavy ceramic bowls with a lip that fit down into heavier metal rings. And today she was not able to upend and toss out her food and water. Her counterpoint? Very quietly in stealth mode while we were sitting in the same room, she went down on the seed catcher and chewed the wood off 25 inches along the edge of door frame. We heard nothing, we saw nothing until I left the room and saw the pile of splinters in the same spot where here tattered feathers had been yesterday. I can fix wood easier than feathers. Gilbert 1 LuLu 0