I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Brutus. I think all of us here understand how special it is to get to spend our time with parrots. If you feel up to sharing, maybe it would help to tell us a bit more about Brutus, about his personality, his favourite toys/treats etc etc. Maybe sharing some of the better times with him will help. However it is totally understandable if you are not ready for that yet.
Grief is different for everyone and you need to allow yourself time to grieve properly, in whatever way you need to. I'm afraid I don't have much else that can help with what you're going through but please know there are people here who sympathise and understand how tough it must be for you right now.