chimaysmommy Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I think that Chimay is turning into a one person birdie... And his one person is me. Which tickles me to some degree, but makes me feel bad for my boyf. He was SO excited for his homecoming, and they really hit it off well but we're starting to notice some behavioral changes with him. We work very different shifts at our jobs, and Chimay is alone with him from about 8am to 11am before Chuck leaves for work and then he's home with me from about 6 till Chuck gets home just before Chimay's bedtime at 9:30. Chimay is wonderful with me when I get home, very obedient and affectionate, but when Chuck comes home he tells me the stories of their struggles in the morning. He'll snap and screech at him from time to time, and won't step up for him unless Chuck is offering a treat. On the up side, he will bend his head for a neck scratch. This is very different from his behavior towards me--he steps up almost instinctively. I've told Chuck that physically he and I are probably very different humans to Chimay...I'm about 5'4", while Chuck is 6'4". He's got much bigger hands than I do, and his voice is naturally more commanding than mine. I know that with those basic differences between us, Chimay's going to me more reluctant to trust Chuck than me. What I don't know is how to possibly help in the trust-building between them. I don't want to spend less time with him and risk him getting upset over that, but I also don't want to encourage his rejection of Chuck. This morning we started what I hope to be a continued routing of taking turns waking him in the morning and giving him breakfast...not sure what else I can suggest to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave007 Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Just like people, greys go through those times where it will seem like one person is starting to emerge as the favored one. This especially happens with younger birds who are going into that stage where independence is showing itself. People don't know that the baby bird that was purchased and acted the exact same way with each family member is gonna change in that area. Unfortunately a lot of people aren't told about this phase when getting a grey. The older the bird gets, the more selective and choosy it gets. The bird can act differently towards 2 different people and a classification of * one person bird* comes into play but that's not what's happening. What goes against this type of behavior is 2 people trying to *right* the situation in order to bring that bird back to a situation of equality between the people. Very bad idea. It just ain't gonna happen. Greys eventually like one person for certain things and another person for other things and not only will it continue but the bird will also reverse the picture and start treating the other person differently. This goes on and on as the bird gets older. By the time the bird is a full adult, it's pretty much shown the whole picture. Between the ages of 6 mts to 5 yrs, you'll see many changes in the bird's attitudes and as long as nothing traumatic has happened, those changes will naturally go on. You want your bird to like your husband more. Ok, make him do the cage cleaning, the feeding, the treat giving etc. Reverse roles. Stay out of the picture. Have both people do the same things. This doesn't mean that the bird will all of a sudden will take to the person receing less attention but it does show the attention attention that 's gotten from two people. Most of the time, this goes on with physical relationships with a bird. I'll give a small but important example because this type of small example can cause problems if misunderstood. I'll use one of my greys. Smokey is now 9 yrs old and from the time that he flew with accuracy, he likes to fly to my arm and doesn't really wanna get off. I could leave him there all day and he'll stay all day but if I try to pet him while he's on my arm, he will bite my hand but he insists on staying there stuck next to my armpit. He really doesn't fly to my wife alot. Now for the wife--when she's sitting down he'll fly right over to her bypassing me and he expects herto pet his head, his neck, his eyes. If she continues,he'll just stay there and accept it. He'll fly over to me sitting down and only wants to perch on my knee but doesn't wanna be touched. Does he dislike me or favor her more? No. He's just accepting people for different things. Now for feeding--when I put bowls of food or water in his cage while he's in the cage, he expects me to rub his head and rub his beak. When my wife does the feeding and tries the petting he will nip. Why, well I stopped trying to find out a long time ago because they have their likes and dislikes concerning many major and minor things. Your bird is going through a phase--one of many phases that happen to a bird that's eventually leaving that cuddly stage. All greys leave that stage.<br><br>Post edited by: Dave007, at: 2009/03/31 19:55 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Dave is so right about the greys and if anyone should know it is him. Josey used to only let me touch her or pick her up and now she is more accepting of my hubby, she won't go to him off of me but she will off her playstand or cage and she is now giving him kisses that she would not do before. There are certain things that she will allow me to do and certain things with him, you just kind of have to go with the flow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eckobird Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Oh no I am sorry to hear that Chimay is becoming a one person bird. This is something that I am really worried about with my baby too. Dave gave great advice so I am going to make sure my boyfriend and I do what he says. My boyfriend sounds like yours, he is super excited about our grey and loves him so much but he is also worried the baby is going to like me more because I can spend more time with him. My boyfriend works a schedule almost like yours and he comes home when the baby is already sleeping so he doesn't get to play with him night. So far the baby will go to anyone and is very loving but I know its because he is really young. So who knows when he gets a couple more weeks older. I hope Chimay becomes better with your boyfriend. Please keep us posted on his progress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimaysmommy Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 Thank you SO much for all of the advice!! We are going to definately start having a more rotated routine between my boyfriend and I so that we're trading off on his daily care. Chimay's only been with us for a week, and he's still young so I'm sure that there will be many more changes and surprises to come. B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sue09 Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Hi. Both Dave and Judy are totally right. Ollie was originally my boss. He then turned against me and went to my partner. I do all the work, the feeding and sit and teach him, but I cannot touch hime ever. I have worked on it for 5 years and have the scars to prove it. hopefully, he will keep a relationship with both of you and allow you both to be part of his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave007 Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 """""""Chimay's only been with us for a week,"""""" You should have said that before. I thought you had the bird for a much longer period of time. The only thing going on is him getting used to you both. One week is in no way enough time to make any judgments about anything. He's still a stranger in your house. He has to get used to your family, his surroudings, the natural everyday habits that exist and his environment and all of that takes much much more than a week. It takes months for all of that to happen.<br><br>Post edited by: Dave007, at: 2009/03/31 21:24 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimaysmommy Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 I'm sorry about that....I definately should have mentioned something about the time he's been with us, I think I got a little distracted in describing his antics between my boyfriend and myself. Thanks Dave! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sue09 Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Hi. Both Dave and Judy are totally right. Ollie was originally my boss. He then turned against me and went to my partner. I do all the work, the feeding and sit and teach him, but I cannot touch hime ever. I have worked on it for 5 years and have the scars to prove it. hopefully, he will keep a relationship with both of you and allow you both to be part of his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhorje Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 At one stage, my grey dislike my daughter. My daughter suffered many bites from Koko. But now we are one happy family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shazbaby36 Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 my freddie is like that she will let my hubby do anythink to her but i cant do anythink she just gos to bite me or growls which seems very funny because she used to go to me all the time when she was a baby but now she 2 its all changed but my other grey barney is so different he loves me so much he will let my hubby pick him up if he in a gd mood lol he be 2 in august so going to wait to c if he changes like freddie did Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimaysmommy Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 Well I think we've figured out Chimay's seemingly "one person bird" behavior. He's just not a morning person, er, birdie! Ha ha! Yesterday when my boyfriend and I were home from work together, I realized that Chimay is much more of a rascal first thing in the morning into the afternoon. He's a bit cranky when he first wakes up, then he's just ready and willing to play play play after breakfast. This is the period of time my boyfriend has with him alone before he goes to work in the afternoon. By the time I get home around 6, he's relaxed and ready to settle in and roost for the evening, hence the cuddly quiet nature I am greeted with when I get home. Mystery solved! For now...ha ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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