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Our grey only loves dad


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hello everyone. i am new to this forum.

I have a female grey african since 25 years (my parents bought it when i was a baby). I know that grey africans tend to be one person birds. Mine usually bites me and my mom altho we r the ones to take care of her. On the other hand she adores my dad although he doesn't spend much time with her and never ever bites him.In fact she's like a puppy with him.

I know this is normal and i don't take it personally, sometimes she shows me that she doesn't dislike me as much i think, she calls me when i'm in another room or she dances with me. But she won't let me caress her head for longer than few seconds and she is always on guard.I tried everything with her, positive reinforcement etc in order to get her to stop biting me but there is no hope i think...any ideas?

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Greys are notorious for choosing who they like the best and your's has obviously chosen your dad and that will probably never change.


You are right to not take it personally, she likes you and your mom also but she is just more inclined to adore your dad and he can do just about anything with her but you will just have to live with it.


You can still have a good relationship with her, just not as close as the one with your dad, the thing to remember is not to push yourself on her, that will backfire on you, just accept what she allows you to do and go from there.


You should be the one to give her treats and such, that will help to keep you in her good graces.


Other members might have some more ideas and suggestions for you so be patient.;)

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I will have to agree with you, i give her treats and act like a clown to make her happy since her "person" doesn't share her fascination.

I would not force her into liking me because i understand it's her instinct to act like this.I read they have the EQ of a 2 years old child.


Yet she doesn't try to bite only when i try to caress her, but also when i try to change her food(ok let's say she considers it invasion of her territory) and when i pass by the cage, sometimes even when she's on the floor she comes under the table and bites our shoes (only mine and my mom's naturally). Is this some kind of a twisted game of hers?Does she enjoy inflicting pain? lol


Once i passed by a pet shop and saw a male grey African, we immediately bonded.He let me caress him and even gave me kisses. The owner was astonished and told me that they usually have the parrot at home with his other brother but he never acts this way with them and they had him for 6 years.He would bite them often despite all the efforts they made. He would prefer a total stranger who happens to be a woman to the people that take care of him.How fair is that? :pinch:


Anyhow, thank you for your time and patience and for letting me share my pain lol

Best wishes for the new year!!!

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I have a theory. Maybe its stupid but ill share it anyway.


From what ive read about greys alot of then tend to resent the person that looks after them, feeds them, cleans there cage ect. My grey isnt a one person bird but is definatly nippier with me and im the one who does everything for her!


I think its like the opposite of dogs. A dog will love the person who feeds and takes care of it where as a parrot will see the person who feeds it as someone who just invades there territory every morning and evening lol!!???

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Greys love who they love. They can have very different relationships with the diferent people in the household.The person who feeds and cares for them may or may not be the favourite, it could be the person who plays with them or be as simple as they like a persons energy level. Usually they adore a person who is calm around them and sympathetic to their moods and needs. They are super inteligent and do get afected b y our moods and energy. I always make sure I am calm and relaxed before going to my grey. I have had many nips when I have handled him when I have been rushed or excited or even stressed.He has picked that up and acted in the way greys do. Greys can also be very protective of their cage.


Post edited by: she, at: 2008/12/31 18:08<br><br>Post edited by: she, at: 2009/01/01 12:39

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Hi Ishtarte, who is the person who took care of your grey when you were a baby? And did they get the grey as a baby also. I find this to be a fascinating story and would love to hear more. What is your grey's name? If you have any pictures we would love to see them. Can't want to hear more about your 25 year-old grey.

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hey everyone Happy New Year to all, thank you for your replies.


The story is that when we first bought her she was not a baby but a fully grown parrot(but young). I regret to say but i think she was caught in the wild because she does not have the ring on her foot. Nevertheless my parents bought her from a pet store but one can never be sure.


When i was a baby my mother was taking care of her. Yet she always loved my dad. While i was growing older (before i was clearly a woman to her lol) she was nicer, she would give me kisses and would let me pet her more than now. As i grew older and she realized i did not have testosterone she became more aggressive towards me.


Thing is she was limited to her cage for many years because unfortunately my parents did not have much education on parrots and they bought her because she could speak (big mistake for those fascinating animals) so a year ago after i returned home from college i demanded that she would have freedom. so now she is out of her cage all the time. To a certain extend i understand that she was not socialized so she can't be the sweetest bird but on the other hand her affections for my father never changed.


As for Irishchicky's theory i believe it may have a point. But i am very strongly convinced that even the parrots that were properly socialized will have personal likings towards the opposite sex. My experience with parrots has taught me that, even complete stranger parrots in pet shops will approach me if they are males. Also i have a cockatiel (male) that i take care of exclusively and although i made him social with people, he obviously prefers me. (not that we can compare a cockatiel's intelligence and complexity with a grey African's)


The thing is because of her, i grew up loving parrots more than any other animal. To an extend i feel she doesn't hate me too much. Sometime ago she was sick and once she got better first word she said was my name. Then when i was away for college i asked my mom to let me talk to her on the phone and she called my name once she heard my voice although she had not seen me for about a year. Generally i see she likes me and calls on me but she does not want me to touch her much which i totally respect although i don't like it lol

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My cousin has a 40 odd year old wild caught grey,who is very much my cousins bird,he has owned him all his life. Apart from my cousin, I think I am the only person who can handle Blue, I mind him when my cousin goes on holiday.It is a mystery why Blue accepts me but he just appears right at home in my house with me.I think they just like who they like.

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