dan_erobbo Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Im well gutted to be saying this but i think i may have to sell my grey we have had her for 1 year now since a baby and have moved into a terraced house with my fiance. (from a larger house with more flight room) Its not just that fact, we're also expecting our first child in april and time is going to be very precious as i work a lot now. I feel sorry for our grey as she wont b able to be looked after as she could have been, its unfair n im really in two minds! Anyone in this situation and is letting her go the best thing to do? Thanks for your help guys, dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
empera Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 I don't think you should let your grey go. Having a grey and a newborn child is a big responsibility, and takes up more time than ever. If there is any possible way to keep your grey, it may turn out to be a better outcome for your grey than what you think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 I agree, I don't think you should be looking to get rid of your grey Dan, please think this over carefully before you make a possible mistake. We have all heard this story before and I am not coming down on you but just letting you know how I feel about it. You should never make the decision to get rid of your grey just because you have a new child coming into your life. What if it was the other way around, you wouldn't get rid of the baby just because you wanted to get a grey, same difference. Think about it for a minute, you made a lifetime committment to this grey, you love her and adore her, now how can you realisticly consider not letting her be a part of your life. We all have changes we have to deal with in our lives but we consider our flock a part of our lives and therefore we include them in with those changes. We adapt, yes maybe you will have less time to spend with your grey when the baby arrives but as time goes by you will be able to spend more time than when the baby is young. Greys can be adaptive if you make those changes gradually and not all of a sudden, she will still thrive on quality time spent with her and not necessarily quantity of time. I would just hate to see you let go of her and then live to regret it so please think long and hard before you committ to this decision for once she is gone that is it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Hi Dan, I understand your statement of being double minded. That means it is a very TOUGH decision for you that you are not taking lightly and thus asking for input from others that have both newborns and Parrots. There are such members here and they will be able to tell you how it has worked out. :-) One thing to consider also, is April is 4 months off and you don't need to make a decision so soon. It is great you are thinking about the possibilities before hand though. A young baby sleeps most the time for the first few months and slowly starts staying awake longer and longer. You will still have a lot of time for your Grey while your baby sleeps. But, as I said, hopefully those with wee ones will chime in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nims Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 This is an interesting topic. I have now beeb married for two years and plan to start a family in a couple of years. I have given this a lot of thought and what impact it would have on my flock as I have two greys. I have had Ice for 4 months and Indy for 6months and I cannot imagine my life without them. I think Judy has given you some sound advice. Please think carefully before making this decision and I can understand that a newborn will take up a lot of time. I guess you have to give it some more thought and I wish you all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 I agree with the others. You don't get rid of one child just because you have another time consuming one coming. You made that commitment with your grey, and they really are like your child. Please re-think, don't give up so easily, and take your time. You may find that it won't be as difficult as you imagine. After all, you have never been a parent to a "human" baby, so you don't really know first hand what you are able to handle or not handle. Don't let others (family, friends) who aren't in your shoes, dictate what you should do with your grey. Wait until your child is here, give it plenty of time, and you might just be surprised to see that it really won't be so difficult after all. B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casper Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 What are you saying the main problem is? The flight space or the newborn? Personally, I dont see what the problem is! We all have changes in our lives and we have to adapt these around our current lifestyle. Are you still worried about the noise as well like you were in your previous post? You would be able to spend quality time with your grey while your newborn slept, this would be easier while the baby is younger as they sleep most of the time. I dont have a newborn but I have two young children a husband and two cats who absolutely hate birds! I manage to juggle my day around all of them and the time I spend with them all is quality which is what you would be able to do! I am not trying to give you a hard time but just consider what your grey would be like if he had to leave! I went to visit one who needed a home and he was 11 months old, he wasnt the right bird for me and he was so obviously bonded with his owner we managed to talk and I helped him solve what he considered to be a problem and kept his grey. What I am trying to say is dont be worrying about problems before they actually happen! Greys are young children, I dont just consider mine to be pets they are part of the family. If you really want to you can make it work! Good luck in your decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janfromboone Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 I'm worried that once you get settled in with the baby and used to the routine you may regret having given up your grey. It's hard to know how the baby might change things beforehand. I don't have children, so I guess I'm not one to second guess your decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Janfromboone wrote: I'm worried that once you get settled in with the baby and used to the routine you may regret having given up your grey. EXACTLY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaxtersMom Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 I think you should rethink getting rid of your grey and look at it from a differnt angle. After your baby is born, your wife is going to be spending alot of her time with the baby or doing baby related things. She will probably be consumed at first, even if the baby is sleeping alot (and newborns sleepalot). Alot of men after the birth of their baby don't get as much attention from their spouse as they did before and have extra time on thier hands. Not saying this will happen in your case but it does happen in some instances and when your wife/fiancee is with the baby, you will have plenty of time to give to your grey. Your grey will probably be a bigger blessing that your realize. Everyones household/relationships has major changes from time to time but doesn't mean you have to get rid of your grey. Things might be different as the family grows but the grey can and should still be part of the family. It is much better to keep him than to rehome him to some strange house where he may not be properly taken care of. I just don't think having a baby is a good reason to get rid of grey. I think you will regret it later or worry how it is doing, if it's being taken care of properly, does it get let out of it's cage, is it happy is it depressed, does it pluck,...atleast I would always wonder that. I have heard other grey owners say they might have to get rid of their grey because a baby is on the way but I honestly don't understand why. Can you explain it to me and what your concerns are so I can understand better. Maybe I am missing something or maybe we can put your worries to rest, too. Why do you feel that since you are having a baby you might have to part with your grey? I am curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Not to be disrespectful or anything to anyone, but I am just wondering, as we see this kind of thread all too often here.......Don't people that get a grey, stop and think that someday, they may be adding to their families, and then do the what-if-test before they bring home a bird and it bonds to them. :huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KHAN Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Damn Dan I hope your relationship never ends and you start a new one, you'd prob. never want to see your first baby again.... I couldn't imagine getting rid of Khan, i've had him since he was a baby too and he is like one of my kids. By the way I live in a flat and he has no problem with space..... It would be really hard for your grey to settle with someone else, but then since you only say your 'gutted' about having to sell him you obviously dont have a good relationship with the bird anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaxtersMom Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 I think when you make the decision to buy or adopt a grey they should be immediately be considered a family member and treated as one just like a new born baby. You go through the ups & downs and changes together~as a family. If a grey was considered a family member the question of selling or rehoming would never even come up. It wouldn't even be an option. It is very sad that people can dispose of them so easily:( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave007 Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Casper was brave enough to say this and it took courage. """"I dont have a newborn but I have two young children a husband and two cats""" That was a truly sad experience for all of them. The life they lived until now had been less than adequate to say the least. They've put up with a lot. How much worse it actually was will never be known. Secrets can remain secrets forever. Casper will tell you that even though it had been difficult for them, they adapted to her and her quirks and if that accomplishment was successfully achieved and they decided not to sell her to the highest bidder then it's very safe to say that a grey can adapt to anything, anytime, anywhere, large or small with newborn children, baby children, older children. All you need to have is the patience that Casper's family had. That was a true achievement. A feat and now a memory etched in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitt79 Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 I'm 36 weeks pregnant and keeping my grey unless something drastic happens that changes my mind... Of course human babies come first, I'm not kidding myself that my bird is more important than my daughter. I think that would be a silly thing for anyone to suggest. I am going to try to adapt and live with both before I panic. With some help from relatives and friends and some organization, I think we'll all be fine. See how it goes; you have a long time to plan and think about things, after all. Some things that can help; let your bird see and smell baby items before hand so they aren't so scary. Play a cd of baby sounds so the sounds are not new and foreign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zooman Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Sound advice from all!! I agree adopting a bird is a very serious decision I pondered about for years before buying my first. I too couldnt imagine giveing up my 2 but only one thing could make me do this and that would be allergies. Would i do everything possible air filters etc for sure!! but if you look at it this way your grey lives an avg of what 30-40 years or more..how long does your child live at home? 18-20 years? then what you buy a baby bird to fill the empty nest and they outlive you? then they are given away, or maybe if their lucky find a good home with a trusted family member maybe that child that you gave the first because of? Please believe me when i say im not judging you and I dont know what I'd be thinking id be scared period just having a child..lol. If its time and flight area your bird will adjust. Please make sure you think it over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitt79 Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Zooman has a point. If, heaven forbid, my baby develops an allergy I will have to cut down on my number of dander-producing animals. I am hoping that having the birds in one room for the most part and keeping up with the cleaning will help with that. I don't think it's fair to criticize someone for getting pregnant after getting a bird and then worrying about it. Pregnancies can be unplanned, or unexpected, life situations change, and you have to adapt. Maybe 5 years ago I thought I'd be an old maid and bought a grey and then met the love of my life 3 years later...then what? Sorry honey, we can't have kids because I have a bird? You can't always plan life. In my case, I knew I would have kids one day, but then Starbuck was abandoned at my store, obviously terrified with no food or water, willing to put her head down for scritches from every employee that would give them. I took her home. How could I not? If something horrible happened and I was unable to care for her or had some issue... I would find her a good home. I certainly wouldn't drive to the nearest pet store and leave her in a carrier to be found by god knows who. Anyway my point is just that life doesn't follow an itinerary, and we all have to do the best we can . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goralka08 Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 I don't think it's fair for any bird to be disposable. When you buy or adopt ANY ANIMAL, it should be for LIFE. They are a huge responsibility, but they deserve not being tossed from home to home! Sorry if I offend you, but this angers me. Did you seriously expect your life to be EXACTLY the same as when you purchased your grey? I wouldn't think so because life is constantly throwing curve balls and new scenarios that we have to deal with. Did you not want children? Did you not think you would ever have one some day? These are things to think about BEFORE purchasing any animal. You are the only flock that it knows since you've had it since he/she was born! How sad it would be just to get rid of him/her. It is very emotionally hard for any animal to have to go through this. I think you should reconsider. It will be hard at first, but if you stick to a routine schedule, then there will be plenty of time and always enough love for your new child and bird. BTW, congrats on your precious bundle and I hope everything works out for the best! Keep up updated. I know this forum has many members who have gone through what you're facing. Try talking to others who've experienced this challenging experience, to get their ideas and advice. We're all here for you! Wishing all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
she Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 I can not comment on your personal situation, I dont know you and cant judge. What I can say is that my cousin has had his grey over 40 years through marrage, children and has had many hard times The bird has been a constant companion and I am sure a hugh help in getting through tough times. I see no reason why your grey cant stay with you through thick and thin. As I said I cant judge your situation but please dont be too hastey. If it is a case that you no longer wish to give your grey a home and commitment then rehome, but ensure it is a good home . Many people have life changing things happening, but your situation is one that surely you could predict happening when you took on a grey,it can be easily handled.<br><br>Post edited by: she, at: 2008/12/28 21:26 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brittany Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 judygram wrote: Janfromboone wrote:I'm worried that once you get settled in with the baby and used to the routine you may regret having given up your grey. EXACTLY I agree. Honestly, I wouldn't give away my bird for anything. He's awesome and when I bought him I knew the commitment and I'm sticking with him. It's possible to have both, sure they both take up a lot of time but it's worth it. I really think you'd regret it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tycos_mom Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 I raised 5 children and I always had birds in my home. I couldn't imagine life without them. When I was growing up and still living at home my mom always had birds in our home. Alot of people have cats and dogs we did also but we always had birds too. and those birds where just as much part of the famaly as any other pet. you may be suprised how easily your bird will adapt to a new member of the flock I wouldn't worry to much it only take a hour of quility time everyday with your Grey you have another 23 hours to spend with your child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brittany Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 any pet to me is a family member. whether its a bird, a dog, a cat, etc. you dont just get rid of family members Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keywe Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 It's sad that you think that way because my wife is due with our first in March, and not ONCE have we considered getting rid of our beaked family member. We got her and now she is our responsibility regardless of other family members... Now we have a little girl on the way. You have to spread the love between the two. I am not going to neglect either one, but only accept the fact that my life is going to get a little busier keeping them ALL happy. Getting rid of your grey is irresponsible and imho, pathetic. They have a hard enough time dealing with new changes, so don't be another loser that passes a little fragile life to somebody else just because things may get tough on you. This just pisses me off...Sorry for being so blunt but get real and man up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casper Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Dan, After reading everyones opinions has it helped in making a decision on the future of your grey? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjames74 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 People have twins and manage. Same diffrence, just having 2 toddlers around sort of. I wouldn't give up Echo for anything. And I think you would regret it afterwards. Just think the grey's live to 50-70 yrs. Can pass it on to the kid later on down the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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