Is your grey a one person bird?

[Eckobird]

My CAG Slater is 2 years old and I've lived with him for most of those 2 years. My mom got him as a little baby and hand fed him and everything so Slater LOVES my mom. But he hates everyone else. He lets my mom hold him, pet him and kiss him but he won't let anyone else do that. I'm the only other person that he likes just a little but he will not let me hold him and he won't let me pet him. He will however let me get close to him and he will let me pet his head, but not his back. If it's someone else that doesn't live with us he freaks out and screams bloody murder when they are standing next to him and attacks them when they try to pet him. I don't understand why he does this? Do your greys do this? Is it normal for him to freak out on other people. And why doesn't he like me? I feed him all the time, I talk to him all the time, and pet his head but he just does not trust me enough to go on my finger. Its funny though because when he falls off his perch or he needs help he does let me pick him up and put him back on it. Any advice on this? I really love this bird and really wish he loves me too!

[sandra902]

my merlin has a very strong preference for Big Daddy (my husband) as well as our daughter. I have been the Devil's Daughter to him for the past year but we have been making great strides lately since it is apparent that i am the biggest part of his day and am not going away.

 

we interact very happily but with carefully set limits. he will allow me to touch him now, but only through the bars or i will get a pretty good snapper. no touchy feathers yet, just a stroke of the beak or maybe a little smooch on the beak. but that is leaps and bounds from the trembling little fellow he was a year ago.

 

you will hear 'time and patience' on this site until it becomes a mantra. and i can tell you parrot time is next to the eternal. things change in parrot time very slowly indeed. but they do change.

 

start keeping a journal or a log and you will see as time passes the changes that will take place with time and patience.

 

good luck! and keep us posted.

[NASY]

Hi! we also have exactly the same attitude from Ricco. He only wants me as I am the one that takes care of him all the time.Our grey wont take food from anybody else which is a big problem when I have to leave for a day or two.When he just hears my voice he gets so exhited and makes all sorts of noise.He even doesnt like my children touching me.He gets realy angry.I hope as time goes by he will change.We love him any way he is.

[Raposa]

Jenna definitely prefers me, but she will take treats from other people (if she is inside her cage and they offer them to her between the bars) and she will OCCASIONALLY go to somebody else. I was recently away for 6 days, and the person who took care of her is someone she has known as long as she has known me, and has willingly gone to him in the past. But while I was gone he could not get her out of her cage, she simply refused to come to him. As soon as I got home, I offered her my hand to step up on, and she came right out. ~shrugs~ She is not always like that, sometimes she will surprise me by going to somebody different, but usually it is only me.

[judygram]

Josey is bonded to me and I am really the only one she will step up for and she doesn't much want to interact with anyone else but me.

 

She will take treats from my husband and she doesn't run away from him like she used to when I first brought her home. He is the one who gives her her weekly allowance of cheese, she loves that stuff so much I think she would take it from anyone.

[casper]

My three will only be handled my myself.

 

My husband will feed them on a morning and is able to put the bowls in the cages, he will also take turns in settling them on a night time and covering them. This is just incase I need to go away for some reason, at least I know there will be no problem feeding them.

 

the rest of the family are able to give the birds treats, but that is as far as it goes.

 

The eldest and youngest grey are fine when we have visitors but my middle grey will not have anyone go near his cage without letting out a screech!

[danmcq]

Dayo is very social with other people IF they have food he wants. he will readily interact on all levels with my wife and I, but she is his nighttime cuddle muffin. :-)

 

We socialized him with many different people of all ages from the time he was 10 weeks old. He is constantly surrounded during the day many times a week by friends and family that stop over and have full access to our house while we are gone.

 

Every Grey is different. There was one at the Breeders that attacked me and gave a deep wound and he was only 12 weeks old at that time. That Grey remained a hellion that I nicknamed the "Grey from Hell". Even the Breeders had a hard time with him after his was weaned. They ended up turning him out as a "Breeder Only" bird due to his temperament.

 

I guess the moral of the story here, is it's not the owners or anything bad they are doing that brings on this behaviour in some Greys. They are just like people, some have good attitudes and others don't from the time they are young.....

[Brittany]

Not so far, no.

 

He lets everyone in the house handle him. He just especially likes me and my boyfriend, doesn't seem to prefer one or the other though.

[judygram]

Well thats good to hear Brittany, you have one of the lucky ones who will tolerate everyone and I hope it stays that way. B)

[Brittany]

I hope so.

 

He's bit a few of us but none of it is "Im mad/mean im going to bite you" it's all been "im scared" "i dont feel secure" or "im trying to step up" biting

[Dave007]

"""""If it's someone else that doesn't live with us he freaks out and screams bloody murder when they are standing next to him and attacks them when they try to pet him. I don't understand why he does this? Do your greys do this? Is it normal for him to freak out on other people.""""""

This subject was recently discussed in the AFRICAN GREY section. The name of the thread was GUTTED. It explains many things that are very similar to your problems concerning other people, friendliness, biting, taking more to one person as opposed to another.

 

As far as your bird accepting certain actions of one person but not the other, well there's a visa versa to that. Spending more time with your bird is the start of bettering his attitude towards you but don't expect his likes and dislikes to to change. If a bird likes you to scratch it's head but doesn't like the other person in the house to do that, it'll stay that way. If a bird likes the other person to rub it's neck but not you, it'll stay that way. The only thing that will change is the overt attitudes towards different people.<br><br>Post edited by: Dave007, at: 2008/12/29 20:12

[Irishchicky]

No mine isnt a one person bird yet anyway but her preference does change. This morning she wanted my moms attention in the afternoon it was me and then my dad lol!

[judygram]

Well at least she is spreading it around at least for now but do not be surprised if she does pick a favorite in the coming months or years. If she does just don't take it personally, she loves you all but each in different ways.

[Irishchicky]

Oh im sure she will!!Nah it wont bother me! Ill still lover her

[Superluvrgurl]

Okay so I have a question relating to this post. i might be getting a young grey. Is it true that if I have lots of people socialize my bird, that has he/she grows he/she will be more accustomed to people and will less likley become a "one person bird?" I have a LARGE family... all whom would be more than happy to come over and play with the grey. I have 5 siblings, my 2 parnets, my husband and my 3 children.

 

I was told that greys develop many relationships with people on different levels if they are socialized properly. Is this true?

Thanks in advance!

[Gazbhoy]

Ive noticed for a while now that my 2/3 year old CAG Finlay loves woman and dislikes men, i dont really understand this as im the one that feeds and waters him every day gives him some treats and he stayes in my room whick im always in talking to him. Dont get me wrong he will step up for me but he gets bored with me easily and will have a bite at my arm. Trying to get him bk into/on his cage starts him biting too. But once my mum comes into the room you see him turn to jelly lol. Is there any way to get him to open up to me and accept me as his master and the hand that feeds him ?<br><br>Post edited by: Gazbhoy, at: 2009/02/07 12:37

[Toni]

Alcazar is my baby but I can tell he loves my b/f a tad more tha me.But he will go to both of us.

[Eckobird]

My mom is the one who raised my grey and she socialized him with alot of people but I guess that didn't matter because he still does not like anyone else but her. My sister and I have always been around him since he came home 2 1/2 years ago and he does not like us at all. He is only nice to my mom and I try and try to get him to like me by feeding him, talking to him and sometimes petting him (when he lets me) but he still does not trust me enough to step up onto me. He always tries to bite me and its so frustrating because I want to play with him so bad.

[danmcq]

Superluvrgurl wrote:

I was told that greys develop many relationships with people on different levels if they are socialized properly. Is this true?

 

Yes, the more your Grey is socialized, he/she will be more tolerant of having many different people around. He/she will also learn whom to be leery of like little kids running around flapping their arms and safer adults that move deliberately and calmer.

 

The more they are socialized, the better. It's funny, but they quickly chose whom they like and whom they are leery of, almost instantly when people come over.

[danmcq]

caitb2007 wrote:

My mom is the one who raised my grey and she socialized him with alot of people but I guess that didn't matter because he still does not like anyone else but her.

 

Your doing everything right to maintain a good relationship with your Grey. The fact that you can give him scratches at times is good. It does show he has a certain level of relationship with you, just not at your Mothers level.

 

This is normal. Most will always have a favorite person.

 

Just enjoy what you have and love him. :-)

[Perch]

I am the only one that can pet Gracie under her wings, she lifts them up for me, or on her belly. My 9 year old can sometimes pet her head, and he can take Gracie out of the cage no problem.

 

Gracie will step-up on anyone, but absolutely no petting allowed! I think she looks at herself as equal, and chooses who gets to give the affectionate behavior. My son spent hours each day, just sitting near her to build trust. Once the trust was established...and after Gracie watched him do his spelling homework enough... he reached out and with no hesitation Gracie stepped-up.

 

My wife loves to watch our birds, but her body language clearly shows apprehension in handling them; and I swear our CAG and Conure pick up on it. Her nervousness is transferred to Gracie, and I think because she expects to be nipped...she is!

 

In my limited experience, patience is the key. You must be willing to put the time in to establish trust, and your demeanor and body language are part of what the bird will read as it accesses you for trustworthiness. I think one person may be chosen to be closest, but many different levels of interaction are possible. Kind of like with any relationship.

 

Contrast this behavior with dogs and you can see how people can easily get off track with a CAG. Within 5 minutes of coming to our house for the first time, you can rub my dog's belly and play catch. I wouldn't recommend that near the bird cage!:cheer:

[LisaM]

danmcq wrote:

It's funny, but they quickly chose whom they like and whom they are leery of, almost instantly when people come over.

 

That is SOOO true. All of my parrots are like that too. Our male Ekkie LOVES one of my husband's friends that the other two don't like at all. He plays pretty "rough" with him but he seems to love it and keeps going back for more!

 

From the first time she met my mom, Kenya, our CAG, would step up to her. She even let her skritch her head once (but not since). She's very leery of most others at first.

 

She's almost 15 but we've only had her for 3 years so I have no idea how socialized she was in previous homes (we believe she had several, unfortunately).

 

Lisa

[MrsB]

So far Mesa seems to love everyone pretty equally, but does give everyone but me some "lip" sometimes about stepping up etc. But we have made sure that she has to step up and meet everyone new. She goes out with me and meets new people. And of course with two teen daughters (one is 20 now MOM!:blink: ) there are always teens coming through, they all handle her and interact with her. And we want to make sure that continues.

Even if she doesn't go to someone right away, she will after a bit. We really want to make her social and adaptable to any situation. What if something happened to one of us? We want her to be able to "roll with anything" and do it comfortably too. Plus, we wanted a family pet, so we'll hope that if we continue like this, she'll be less likey to attach to one of us. HOPE. We'll see!

[TinyTimneh]

Jacko was pretty friendly with everyone in the house from day one actually (and continues to put his head down for skritches for strangers to this very day).

 

At first he had a strong preference for my dad and liked but did not love me. Now, about four years later, he still likes my dad a lot, but is definetly my best buddy and has chosen me as his mate. I can do just about anything to him including kissing his face or scooping him up and blowing a big raspberry on his birdie belly or rolling him over (although others could do this if they tried I think, just they don't have the same level of trust and respect I do with him).

However, because I am kinda an old hat to him so to speak he gets very excited when someone who doesn't usually come to see him comes in, like say my brothers. He has a particular thunderbolt attraction to my stepmother (she's a redhead and I swear this has something to do with it, parrots at the petstore have thunderbolt attractions to her as well).

 

Actually, when I think about it, all three of my birds aren't one person birds at all, but they do have a closer bond with me despite that they'll accept skritches and step up (usually without fuss) for anyone.

[Janfromboone]

I think it's great that he lets you pet his head. Tobie is definitely my bird, but he lets Frank pick him up or even get him off the playstand or cage top, but doesn't let him pet him. He will let anyone get him off the floor, but not off the playstand or cage. Odd how they choose what they will allow.