How do birds choose who they will like?

[daludlum]

My rescued grey.. Greyson, has decided that he will allow my sister and my future daughter in law to pet his head!! That is great progress for him, because at first he would throw his self on the floor if someone tried to touch him, or if he though that they might try...

My question is, why not ME??? I love him. I am nice to him. I sit by his cage and do my computer stuff by him, sing to him, carry him on his perch from his cage to his play stand. That is also a big step for him because at first, even if he got on the perch he would always "fall" off before we got to the playstand. He seems happy around me, but he won't speak, and he won't let me touch him. I did hear him talking once, when he thought I wasn't listening... he said "pretty bird, good bird" in a sad depressed voice, that sounded a bit like Eyore on winnie the pooh. That is the only time I ever heard him talk. He is starting to get a few feathers on his chest and a few beautiful red tail feathers!!!

Any Ideas on why I can't touch him and how to continue to build more trust. Maybe even teach him to have fun???

[judygram]

I know that greys choose their favorites and that it is not necessarily the one who spends the most time with them, just like we as humans like some people and not others. This does not mean that you cannot have a good relationship with Greyson, it will just be different from the one he has with your sister and future daughter-in-law.

 

Just don't give up on him, I think he will eventually come to allow you to do more with him than he does right now so continue to do what you are already doing and accept what he allows for now. I think once he comes to accept and trust you that he will be more willing to let you touch him. Patience is key here.

[BMustee]

Sometimes it seems birds pick people at random and other times because of things that happened to them in the past. I have seen parrots that will bond to females because ether their past owner was a woman or a man was mean to them or the other way around. Sasha at my work (a Scarlet) may have bonded to me bacause I look like her past owner...from what the girls that have worked there have told me I am the first person she has liked in the 15+ years she has lived at the store. There is a Golden Conure at the store right now that loves blonds, but will jump at the chance to bite a brunette. So sometimes it's as simple as your hair color why a bird will like you or not. In your situation it sounds like you will just need more time than your sister and D/law.

[daludlum]

Thanks guys! I guess I knew that, it's just frustrating. I just need to be happy that he is comfortable with anyone touching him.

[siobha9]

Yes it is extremely frustrating. I must admit I get a serious case of the green eyed monster, when Liath abandons me to gaze lovingly at my husband when he pops his head in the door. And I'm the one who feeds her, cleans her, plays with her and generally dotes on her all day long:S

[danmcq]

daludlum wrote:

Any Ideas on why I can't touch him and how to continue to build more trust. Maybe even teach him to have fun???

 

It sounds like you are patiently doing all the right things to win his trust.

 

Yes, fun things like playing with a toy in his sight and making big fun noises excitedly will get his attention. Giving favorite snacks will also help. It wil take some trial and error to see what his favorite nuts, seed or fruits are, maybe even some banana nut bread or the like.

 

He may continue to smitten with a favorite, he has chosen, as most greys do. But, you can become a close second over time. :-)

 

Just time, patience and lots of graveling from your end will increase the odds of him becoming much more friendly toward you.

 

One other thing to think about is, perhaps your finger nail color or some other item may be the small thing that he does not like. Sometimes it's hard to zero in on small things that make a difference in how they perceive you.

 

An example is one of my grandkids that sometimes spikes his hair. My Grey hates that and will scream if he comes within 5 feet of him. But, he can then go and comb his hair down, come back in and it's all High 5s and where you been buddy after that. :-)

[sandra902]

my beloved merlin prefers big daddy far more than he does me. he even adores our daughter more than he does me!

 

at times i feel a bit sad, but considering how far merlin has come in the past year he has been with us, i get it back into perspective right quick. it is not about me, it is about merlin. and he is happy and confident, he has a sweet life and a big daddy he adores. what more do we really want for our companion animals?

 

so the place merly has carved out for me as Utility Person, i accept and build upon every day. we have our own little games we play during the day, it is my voice he speaks in so i know i am having a good influence on him. he is learning right from wrong and as long as i keep the focus off of myself, i am delighted every day.

 

we used to call his hurling himself to the floor "going spud" because he sounded like a baked potato hitting the floor. but that behaviour is gone, and he even approaches me now. he'll go down his little ladder and shuffle over to my desk to see what i am doing and to get a little treat.

 

i will say he seemed to really come leaps and bounds when little milly came home. there is something about her that he finds irresistable. and since she prefers me to all others, perhaps he is learning that mamma is not so bad after all. not to say you should get another bird, but at the start we had agreed the magic number for us was 3 birdies and that is what we have. merlin gets to be #1 bird among birds and be a part of a flock.

 

so, fellow Utility Person, keep up the good work and remember Parrot Time is next to the eternal.