Hello!

[LNCAG]

I think adopting a parrot is too big a responsibility for a 13 year old and I hope her parents won't allow it.  No hate, please, just my most honest opinion.  

Too many adults make poor decisions adopting a grey and it fails.  Too many re-homed parrots bear out my point.  A 13 year old has no idea what her interests and lifestyle might be in 10 years, 20 years.   Most adults don't know either.  I sure didn't. 

 

Edited February 7, 2022 by LNCAG
[suspecting A.K. is "Stacey" after re-reading this thread -- apologies if I'm falsely accusing anyone, it was several things popping out reading this thread made me feel it was a young person writing]

[A.K]

Ha ha, no, I’m not Stacey, though I did suspect people would think that! I honesty do have a friend, with a 13 year old who wants a African Grey, even if that does seem far-fetched. Thanks for adding your opinion on Stacey… 

[LNCAG]

That wasn't the reason I made the connection: it's the similarity in A.K.'s case for being able to care for a grey and the case for the 13 year old being able to care for a parrot.   Emphasis on 'not using real names" etc..  It's also the youthful writing style.  Plus a few other red flags I won't share here.  Too many years working as social worker I suppose.  I do apologize if I am mistaken. On the main, I try to be friendly and helpful in this forum.

Anyway, I can't support a 13 year old making such a huge life decision.  But I do feel happy when a child loves animals.  I also grew up loving animals myself!

 

[A.K]

Yeah, Stacey is a lot like me. I grew up with her mother. It’s okay, I promise I’m not Stacey, but I get how people can make that connection, even if it’s wrong. Well, I don’t blame you for thinking that - I’m pretty sure I’d think the same… 

[neoow]

I got Alfie when I was 17 and thought I had everything sussed. I had read every book available to me (the internet wasn't as easily accessible and full of information as it is now) and thought I'd never have any issues with owning a grey. I don't regret getting Alfie at all as I love having him in my life. But as I mentioned in my previous post, it hasn't always been plain sailing.

My mum was the only person who took a real interest in Alfie when I was living at home with my family. My sister was terrified of him and my dad was largely indifferent. He used to sit and play guitar and sing to Alfie but they had a bit of a falling out when Alfie waddled across the sofa, sat on my dad's knee then bit him very hard on his finger for seemingly no reason. Dad wasn't keen after that. My mum got a bit more wary of him after receiving a few bites too- but she's always remained interested in him... just kept out of beak range for a while 😂. We also had a dog and a cat. So Alfie was largely confined to my room or I had to wait until everyone was out if I wanted to let him out in the wider house. Which meant he didn't get much socialisation from anyone other than me.

When I moved out I originally lived with two guys- one who was scared of Alfie and one who was largely indifferent but not keen. Alfie's cage location wasn't great and socialisation wasn't great around that time either. I also took on more and more responsibility (and hours) at work, was trying to study for a degree in my spare time and I wasn't providing Alfie with the consistent time and attention he deserved and needed. And again, not much socialisation with anyone other than me. 
My two housemates moved out and I was able to shift things around so at least Alfie was in the living space instead of out in the hall. But my next housemate also was quite indifferent to him and didn't care to socialise with him for the longest time. He also despised the noise.. and Alfie isn't even THAT noisy compared to some parrots. He moved back home with his dad as we were renting at the time and he didn't like losing all the money each month. So I started looking to buy my own place. That housemate became my lodger but I made it extremely clear before he moved in- Alfie ALWAYS comes first and I WOULD be letting him out of the cage every day, so if he didn't like it, he'd have to avoid the living room when Alfie was out. Fortunately, my housemate did start to make a bit more effort with Alfie that time round and they actually started to get on. He moved out in 2020 so it's been me and Alfie ever since.

My main point here for your friend's 13 year old (and sorry for the second essay!) is that it's much easier if family and even some friends are on board with getting a grey and are willing to make the effort and work with the bird too. It can be really tricky to manage if other members of the household are terrified of birds or aren't interested. And even when you think you have the whole world worked out as a teenager... life will ALWAYS throw you curveballs that you never dreamed of. My main questions when a 13 year old asks about getting a grey would be- what about when you move out or go to college/university or get a job/career. What if you have to move away from family for work/career/life? What if you want to start a family with someone who doesn't like birds? You can't plan for every eventuality of course, but you have to be prepared that there is a bird who will be with you for ALL of those changes and is depending on you to look after them regardless of what changes may happen. Is the family willing to take on the responsibility when the teenager can't/won't? And are THEY aware of what they are letting themselves in for?

 

[A.K]

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it, your ‘essay’s’ are actually really helpful, I mean that’s the reason I came HERE for help, because I wanted to get information from bird owners, not articles. Thanks for pointing out all those problems, working, university, etc… I’m going to pass that information on to Jennifer and Stacey. 

[LNCAG]

25 minutes ago, A.K said:

Yeah, Stacey is a lot like me. I grew up with her mother. It’s okay, I promise I’m not Stacey, but I get how people can make that connection, even if it’s wrong. Well, I don’t blame you for thinking that - I’m pretty sure I’d think the same… 

So glad I haven't upset you.  Given how many parrots are re-homed, by adults, I am just super cautious when it's a minor making such a huge decision to adopt.  A 13 year old would need excellent family support.

I think neoow has written you an excellent post about someone young adopting a parrot -- as well as growing up with a parrot and experiencing life changes.  

[SRSeedBurners]

I got my first Grey at 19.  Also an amazon and a conure during that same period.   Lost them in a divorce.   The Grey is now with my mid-80s aunt and she has willed 'Odie' back to me!   So far it's been 30 years.   My life was way to unstable at 19 to be getting birds but young people don't have the reasoning power or wisdom that age brings to know any better.    Another reason people re-home birds:  I'm having a baby blah blah blah.   That one really pisses me off but it happens.

[A.K]

Thanks a lot for your help, everyone. I’m so coming back for more help, and with more questions. In case you’re wondering, I’ve made a couple of decisions: 

- Right now, my life is a little unstable. I’m currently living in Toronto, but will be moving soon, either back to my home in Australia, or to Ohio. Most likely, Ohio. I won’t be getting a CAG until early next year, because I need to settle down. 

- I’ve decided on a baby, already weaned, bird. I know how adults have their personalities, but I want my CAG to grow up with me, and they’re easier to tame. Also, I’d love a harness trained bird, and I’m going to request the breeder I’ve selected to harness train him/her for me. I also really love the name Luna, for a girl, and Ollie or Ash for a boy. 

Thanks a lot again,

A.K

P.S

17 minutes ago, SRSeedBurners said:

I got my first Grey at 19.  Also an amazon and a conure during that same period.   Lost them in a divorce.   The Grey is now with my mid-80s aunt and she has willed 'Odie' back to me!   So far it's been 30 years.   My life was way to unstable at 19 to be getting birds but young people don't have the reasoning power or wisdom that age brings to know any better.    Another reason people re-home birds:  I'm having a baby blah blah blah.   That one really pisses me off but it happens.

Sorry to hear about your Amazon and Conure. So do you currently own any birds? Is the Grey still with your aunt?  

[SRSeedBurners]

1 hour ago, A.K said:

Sorry to hear about your Amazon and Conure. So do you currently own any birds? Is the Grey still with your aunt?  

The Grey I lost in a divorce was re-homed to my Aunt.  I have no idea why ex-wife didn't give Odie back to me, we were getting along - who knows.  I've been back to vist Odie three times in those 30 years, the first time was 20 something years in and Odie remembered me.   There is a thread with pics here.

 

I got three more birds:   GracieMae (Grey), Toby (Caique) and Rio (Jardines).   THen people started asking me to take birds so add to those three:   Huey (Grey), Tinkerbell and Connor (Conures), Nikki (Hawkshead).    

[A.K]

Ugh, silly me! You did mention Huey and GracieMae on THIS thread! I think I’m getting confused with you, LNCAG and neoow…