Oliver has issues with me

[Charlie Parker]

Hello, im having a problem with oliver wanting to get at me just about all the time. What I mean about me saying getting me is that anytime he is on the couch and I am in my chair right next to him he goes to the arm or back of the couch as far as he can and just stares and shakes his wings while he is crouching like he wants to jump on me. I have issues with him because he is a biter to me. My partner can handle oliver any way he wants without any problems. Me on the other hand........... I can't get within a foot of him without him lunging at me. So why does oliver consistently want to be right by me? It almost looks as if he wants me to give him a scratch but I am still to nervous to be that close to him, ahhhuggg! I know I need to calm down and not show fear, extremely hard for me to do because of previous attacks. The last attack was just vicious, he would not let go of my hand! He just bit me and bit me until I shook him off me to the floor. I did not want to do that at all but after flipping my hand back and forth to try and make him stop which didn't phase his attack at all, the floor was the next option. I wish I knew Oliver's first 8 years of his life. All I know is that an older lady owned him and gave him up for health reasons. Charlie Parker does not like oliver either right now. So weird though that Oliver just goes out of his way to get at me.

[Dave007]

Hello, im having a problem with oliver wanting to get at me just about all the time. What I mean about me saying getting me is that anytime he is on the couch and I am in my chair right next to him he goes to the arm or back of the couch as far as he can and just stares and shakes his wings while he is crouching like he wants to jump on me. I have issues with him because he is a biter to me. My partner can handle oliver any way he wants without any problems. Me on the other hand........... I can't get within a foot of him without him lunging at me. So why does oliver consistently want to be right by me? It almost looks as if he wants me to give him a scratch but I am still to nervous to be that close to him, ahhhuggg! I know I need to calm down and not show fear, extremely hard for me to do because of previous attacks. The last attack was just vicious, he would not let go of my hand! He just bit me and bit me until I shook him off me to the floor. I did not want to do that at all but after flipping my hand back and forth to try and make him stop which didn't phase his attack at all, the floor was the next option. I wish I knew Oliver's first 8 years of his life. All I know is that an older lady owned him and gave him up for health reasons. Charlie Parker does not like oliver either right now. So weird though that Oliver just goes out of his way to get at me.

 

There's many times where a bird living with 2 or more people it won't be as friendly with one person but be very friendly with another in a house. Obviously, the bird isn't reacting to you the way he reacts to your friend. People in situations like that are usually told to stop the friendly touching and petting of that bird. The bird is showing you a different type of connection. If he wasn't doing that he wouldn't come over unless you're the one bringing him there which you shouldn't do. You need to let that bird establish his own relationship with you but don't be surprised if it isn't the same kind of relationship like your friend has with the bird. The bird may just want to be around you but not being touched. A bird needs to show interest in something or some person when it wants to do that. Right now, you're comparing every reaction with your friend and you're expecting the same reaction to you. That's not the way it works especially with rehomed birds. I don't know how long you've had this bird but the bird is an adult and he has set ways of coming around. You should prepare yourself to not see the exact same reaction in the future. If you've only had the bird a very short time, then you need to prepare yourself for this process to happen for a while. Stop trying to pet him even though he's nearby. Forget about his relationship with your friend. You're the one having the problem not your friend. Share chores concerning the bird. You clean the cage and you're friend cleans the cage. You put food in his bowl and then your friend puts food in.

 

As far as how his body language, check our BODY LANGUAGE link/sticky. It's either in the GREY FORUM room, the HEALTH room or the TRAINING room.

 

It's in the TRAINING ROOM

 

The name of the link --- Body language most frequently seen

Edited July 17, 2016 by Dave007

[katana600]

Hi Syed, when I read your post yesterday, I was trying to recall Oliver because I recognized Charlie Parker. Today I went back to follow your posts and understand Oliver is about 8 years old and you rehomed him sometime in May. He has been through a lot of change with pet shop, new people, new home and a new cage. Charlie Parker came to you at just three weeks and will have a totally different relationship with you and Andy. Dave has some good suggestions, the body language is the best place to start. Since Andy can handle Oliver but has also been bitten, I think you are coming out of the "honeymoon" phase with a rehomed grey. Previously, Oliver was coming out or permitting Andy to bring him out because he was observing the new home and trying to figure things out. The posture you describe with him on the couch, crouching and seeming like he wants to "get at you" may be him trying to get away. If he can't fly and was placed on the couch, crouching and swaying may be him trying to prepare to fly back to the cage. Biting is not uncommon for a scared bird. Oliver needs a LOT more time to figure things out. Putting him on the floor, using a stick to pick him up and put him where you want him is not going to help build trust. No one likes to be bitten and rather than trying hard not to react, for now don't let Oliver be put in a situation where to him that is his only option to communicate his fear and displeasure. He needs you to understand he is trying to say "NO!" in avoiding you. In the beginning with Miss Gilbert, when our forum friends were telling me to go slowly, I thought that meant a few weeks, a month maybe. Then I came to understand grey time and it has taken me years. It doesn't sound like Oliver has had the human drama that Miss Gilbert had with multiple rehomes. The gift you are giving him is unconditional acceptance and if you rethink the patience and time frame you are giving him the grace to take this relationship at his pace. You will be greatly rewarded with a much slower hands off approach for now.

[Charlie Parker]

Hey all, well it's been a while since I've written about Oliver who is now 9 years old in this thread. Boy oh boy has he come around the past couple of weeks. He looks forward to me giving him some one on one time and some very light petting. He takes showers with me every night and has to have some yogurt with spirilina mixed in with it. I can't leave the room for a second or he just has a breakdown lol. It's been very slow going with me and him but the trust is building every day. Of course Charlie, my 2 year old baby, is still jealous of him and jafar, the 23 year old girl i just rescued a few months back, more time needed i suppose. Anyhow i just wanted to share with you all that it's taken over a year for oliver to build up enough trust for me to touch him and I'm really loving it.

[Timbersmom]

Progress with a grey is often slow but always worth it! 

[judygram]

Yes greys are very slow to trust, it just takes time and lots of patience but the rewards are well earned, he is looking good I must say.

[Luvparrots]

Congratulations on winning him over.  Patience is a  virtue as they say.