tankaray Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Everything I see an add online for an animal especially an exotic bird and the owner indicates lack of time as a reason for letting go I'd always think what a load of crap they're shoveling here. Now I find myself in a similar long term scenario. When I first got our TAG, I of course was always home being Mr Mom and the wife and kids were always there to lend a helping or entertaining hand. Now ontop of the wife's full time work schedule she gone back to school (like Rodney Dangerfield I tell her), so she's gone 3 nights per week until 10-11 as well as full day clinicals every Saturday. The Mr Mom thing isn't to bad but now my oldest who's 17 works 5 days a week 1/2 hour away in which I am the shoufer every night, and my middle one is in band so I am taking her back and forth to practice. To be honest I am a bit taxed lately. I guess what I am getting at is time caught up to me and I see it affecting our TAG in the form of misbehavings for attention. What's my best possible solution to ensure he/she goes to a good home preferably like the ones I see poster here all the time. I don't want to post an add online just to have him/her wind up in the same situation or flipped for profit nor can I imagine him/her sitting in a small cage at a bird rescue waiting for the forever home to happen. A little insight would be helpful here as I hope I am just doing what's right here. I've attempted to post this thread 2-3 times in the last month and I always get choked up and delete it. Thanks in advance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 My first instinct would be to say hang in there. The situation you have now won't last forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRSeedBurners Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 First thought that comes to my mind is - I'd be packing the birdy around in a pak-o-bird, with the rest of the kids! Them human kids will grow up and be gone taking care of themselves. Your TAG however is 100% dependent on us humans forever. I'm afraid you'll regret letting the TAG go. If you're like me you'll always wonder about them and regret, just like I miss my first CAG that I lost to a divorce 20+ years ago. I've started taking my Greycie everywhere with me in her new Pak-o-bird. I don't get much time at home so I try to maximize my time with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tankaray Posted November 28, 2015 Author Share Posted November 28, 2015 Appreciate the advice, our TAG won't set foot in a traveler, it's a chore when it's VET time, our Caique is a breeze with travel cages, changes in structure etc. The time or two I did try to take him for a drive both the TAG and I could of used a tall one. Guess I am looking at what's best for him/her in the early years but I realize changing enviornments is tough on any bird for awhile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRSeedBurners Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Same situation here: our Caique and our Jardines ride in their pak-o-bird like kids strapped in a child seat. Our CAG however is a nightmare. I fight to get her in there. Then I fight to get her to stop tearing up the inside. I guess that's why they say Greys are not a beginner bird - so many thing you can do with others that Greys are persnickety about. When we go for a ride or I have to take Greycie anywhere it turns into one of those "take your Grey with you they said...it will be fun they said..." kind of deals. I get back wondering why the hell I didn't just leave her ass home and locked up all day instead of taking her. But on the other talon, I'd go through all that in a heartbeat on a daily basis before I'd ever re-home her. Is it possible you can find some help looking after the Grey? Don't know where you live but I've mentioned to others on other sites in my area that I'd foster someones bird while they get through their rough patch before I'd want to see them re-home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tankaray Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 Located in VA, yeah your right about them being finicky, sometimes he reminds me of Jack Nicholsen in as good as it gets with all his idiosyncrasies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muse Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Hi, tankaray. I run a companion bird refuge, and we, too, hear the reasons people rehome, ranging from allergies, to biting the children, to the most common "I just don't have time for them anymore." Through our Outreach and Education program, we try to work with bird owners to solve issues with their birds in order to help them keep the birds and to foster the best possible relationship between human and bird. Where are you in VA? Have you ever considered a "sitter"? Does your guy respond favorably to attention from others? Would he accept someone else being his entertainment? If not, it may help to look into other forms of entertainment such as a TV or computer. When I worked full time, I had a "nanny" come in twice a week to let the birds out and play with them. The rest of the time, they had a computer that would play a mixture of bird call recordings, songs and bird videos. Their favorite was (and still is) the little Indian Ringneck - Marnie - on YouTube. It gets them all going! Add to their "tv time" some foraging and shredding opportunities like goodie bags - a paper lunch sack with almonds in the shell, small foot toys, etc, wrapped in tissue paper to make it a challenge to get to each little prize. We are in the process of starting a program for volunteers to come socialize (play with!) the birds, since we've taken in a lot of very human-social birds. You could probably find a student or someone else to do this - even when you are home but busy with homework, cooking, etc. - fairly cheaply or maybe even free. I know some of our volunteers just love to play with the birds here and gladly show up each week to do so for free. If he's not open to new friends, or to electronic entertainment, and you decide that placing him somewhere is your only option, I would recommend looking into Project Perry, in Louisa, VA. They do have a Lifetime of Care program, where the owner pays a fee that covers the bird's upkeep each year - this includes all food, veterinary care, toys and supplies, and their share of the 'upkeep' - but it's truly cheaper than what we spend on our own birds when we count toys, vet visits, and all the fresh food we feed. The birds at Project Perry live in a paradise, in huge outdoor aviaries where they can fly and live in flocks. The aviaries are very natural, like being in the woods. I know if I were a parrot, this is where I'd want to be. The Lifetime of Care for a Grey, I believe, is $1000 per year which is a little less than $84 a month. I know for sure we spend more than that on Megan for toys and food and that doesn't count the massive vet bills we racked up when she began plucking. And they are happy to send updates along, they even do a "face time" with owners of some of the birds. I'd reserve that as the absolute last resort. Greys are far more resilient and adaptive than we give them credit for and often we can find solutions to giving them the attention they crave even in our busy lives. If there is anything I can do to help you with your bird or your situation, please don't hesitate to ask. You can email me via the contact page link on our website - which is in my signature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Yes, I would say hang in there. You will have him your entire lifetime. You committed to that. Throughout your life, there will be good times and bad times. You can't keep every day happy for your kids, they will go thru times that you and your wife are too busy for them or distracted, the same holds true for your grey. They will get thru it, just like you and your family will get thru changes in life. As a single mom of 4 kids, trust me, when your kids are grown, you will be grateful for your bird, it will fill your empty house with companionship, love and a need. You will have more time as life goes on, and in the meantime, get a parrot sitter dvd, new toys, new distractions and things for him to forage with. Don't give up just cause life got busy, we all go thru it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neoow Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 I went through this same thought process a few years back. I got Alfie when I was 17 and he was only 11 weeks old. I was still living at home with my parents and sister. My mum worked part time and my dad worked shifts. So he wasn't always left home alone all day. He also had our family dog to keep him company. When I moved out of the family home I took Alfie with me and things were ok to begin with. I was working full time hours but would leave him lots of things to do whilst I was gone. However, I took on more responsibilities at work, got promoted, worked longer and longer hours then carried on working at home plus I also wanted to try and study for a degree at the same time. I also tried going to the gym regularly and I found I had less and less time for Alfie, and nobody who could help me out. Time went on and I felt more and more guilty because I was spending less and less time with Alfie. I started to consider rehoming him due to lack of time. But every time I thought about the idea of rehoming him it really upset me. I've had him since 11 weeks old and I just couldn't bring myself to even think about parting with him... let alone go ahead with it. So I decided it was time to make some changes. I bought him a bigger cage so he had more room for extra toys and activities and I started thinking more about my personal life than I did my work life. I cut the amount of work I took home with me and I knew I wasn't coping well with the studying at the time so I stopped that with a view that I could always pick it up again when I was in a better position for it. When I bought my house, I planned the furniture placement and downstairs room around Alfie. His cage is in the centre of the room so he can be part of the seating area and also what is supposed to be the dining area (but actually houses my desk and computer. Therefore when I come home, I'm usually downstairs with him and can sit and talk to him- even if I'm working. Whilst I still have a way to go in keeping my work/Alfie/life balance in check, Alfie is a LOT happier- both since I got him a bigger cage and also now that he's in the centre of the main living area in the house. As someone who has been in the situation you are currently in and who is still making changes to avoid the "do I need to consider rehoming him?" question again... don't give up just yet as I honestly believe you will regret it. Alfie stuck with me through all of the changes that have happened since I was 17 and he was 11 weeks old and he's doing ok. He's now 12 years old. Life changes- there's no way anyone could possibly stick to the same routine day in, day out for the lifetime of a parrot, it just doesn't work out that way. Your children won't be relying so heavily on you forever and your wife's schedule will change eventually, as will yours. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRSeedBurners Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Great advice from someone who's been there done that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Life does change for all of us and greys can adapt to whatever is in store, please give it a go as you won't be sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tankaray Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 (edited) Again I appreciate the advice. I'll take it one day at a time. Time does burden us all at times so it's nothing special here I guess. As our TAG is pretty relaxed in my oldest boys room I am considering moving relocating him in there to redirect the misbehavings ( chewing dining room/living room blinds etc ). All new activity within the last few months. As far as other people coming in to sit with him, it's just me and the wife and kids, though he does well with both male and female strangers we just don't have that outlet. He does do well in the cage for longer periods, and has adjusted well in the last several months to home renovations (all structural repairs under the house etc). I only mentioned that part as any new visual changes might spur an odd behavior or two, but all the work done lately is unseen. I do honestly believe though looking back to when we got him (a well intentioned gift by my mother) that it would have been better timing a few years down the road when the kids are grown and our schedules wind down a little. Just a thought. Sterling is spot on with greys and first time bird owners, it's amazing how much easier our Caique can be. And thanks neoow for the reflection, it puts things in perspective. Thanks again. Edited November 30, 2015 by tankaray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Just my opinion, but if you are keeping home from the central part of your family room because he chews your blinds, etc. It is time to redecorate the room so he doesn't have those temptations. There are many things I can't wear or just cant have in my house that I love because I know my birds will chew them to pieces, so I go without so it isn't an issue for us. You can't "train" a bird to stay away from anything they put their mind to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neoow Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 The new activity from your bird does not necessarily relate to the changes in schedule. For example, for the first time ever (in 12 years) Alfie tried to chew the TV the other week. The brand new TV that belongs to my housemate... (luckily he wasn't there to see it!) Alfie has never shown an interest in the TV before (except watching it occasionally) and then one day he just walked over to it and grabbed the corner. Now every time he gets on the shelf near it he tries to get to it. I've resorted to leaving large items in the way so he can't get past to get at it. Thankfully he hasn't discovered that he can get to the other side from the window sill yet!! I'm glad you're taking things a day at a time and considering all options. Do remember that we are all here to help and want the best for your bird as much as you do! So do keep popping back and giving us updates/asking for help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tankaray Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 Just my opinion, but if you are keeping home from the central part of your family room because he chews your blinds, etc. It is time to redecorate the room so he doesn't have those temptations. There are many things I can't wear or just cant have in my house that I love because I know my birds will chew them to pieces, so I go without so it isn't an issue for us. You can't "train" a bird to stay away from anything they put their mind to...�� I have, mini blinds gone, went to roman shades which are like Swiss chees now, those went bye bye to so I went higher end roll up/down shades that have no texture for grip and luckily for me I purchased the warranty with them as I have 3 to replace. Even though he can't grip he blind he can get ontop the molding and dangle from one toe to chew. I've tried tape, flip flops, noisy paper etc up there to get him to stop. I've got three sets of entry doors waiting to be installed but with his new talent from just hanging from molding and nothing else, the three doors are just sitting in my garage. These misbehavings aren't the underlying issue for us though and my thoughts on moving him is he does so well with my oldest, in that when I am here during the day he will constantly fly to his room and sit on his chair in front of his computer and preen. I assumed it's a comfort thing. If he Charlie chewed my TV or my doors when I get them installed I'd probably pick drinking back up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRSeedBurners Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Haa..you mentioned chewing on your stuff as misbehaving, that's just a happy content Grey. They can't decipher between good and bad things to chew on. As my wife just said the other day: "I'll never have anything nice in this house again". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tankaray Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 Haa..you mentioned chewing on your stuff as misbehaving, that's just a happy content Grey. They can't decipher between good and bad things to chew on. As my wife just said the other day: "I'll never have anything nice in this house again". I called it misbehavings, the wife not so much. Given the cost of new doors just sitting in the garage she isn't a happy camper. Last night for the first time Charlie flew to our thermostat on the wall. It sticks out what 3/4 of an inch. Anyways while hanging on it he hit the heat button and tried to smoke us out. I just finished up relocating it this morning running new cable under the house so hopefully it won't happen again. Or so I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRSeedBurners Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 (edited) You mentioned you have a Caique? Any other birds? We started out with the birds in the central living area like you. It got to be too much for my wife to handle - nonstop pulling Greycie off ever damn thing in the living room and kitchen. She would even hang off the wall trim in our living room and chew the corners. That kind of stuff just pisses me off to no end because like my wife mentioned - you can't have anything nice. Anyway, we ended up moving our three birds into a bedroom that I had setup as my office. That worked for about 5 minutes. I ended up covering my desk and chair and everything with blankets to keep them from destroying it. Finally we decided to hell with it, we're going full on bird room. Ripped out carpet, painted the concrete slab, painted walls, faced all the door jambs with plain pine boards on entry door and the double closet door. I also attached pine boards to the ceiling and installed eye bolts. It's now a birdy jungle gym and they're free to tear up anything and everything in there. It took A LOT of stress off my wife as she is the one home with them all day. I also installed a camera so we can watch them. The reason I ask if you do have other birds is your Grey will use them as company when they are alone if you were to setup a similar type of bird room. I brings back some sanity in trying to deal with these monsters and still give them some freedom rather than being locked away all the time. Oh and I think it's funny you said your Caique is an easy bird to deal with. The only benefit to our Toby is his beak is not as destructive. His problem is he NEVER stops and once he wraps his little head around doing something you're in for a non-stop fight trying to get him to stop. He spends so much time in time-out it's ridiculous. He thinks everything is his and no one is allowed to touch and he's constantly picking fights. When it's bird room time and we're away from the house where we can't quickly shut down any issues he has to stay locked up for the sake of every other birdy in there. Edited November 30, 2015 by SterlingSL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tankaray Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 Just the Caique, I exchanged a few pms with you last year before getting him. He's the same age as Charlie 2.5 years but the difference is he spent all day in his cage with his previous owner and was out at night for a bit where as Charlie spent 12+ hours a day out of his cage. With our recent long term scheduling changes he's out about 2-4 hours I would guess. The Caique is a breeze and is fine with whatever, they are about 20 feet apart in eye view of each other but I keep them seperate as much as I can. The Caique will fly to Charlie's cage and head straight inside to either eat his food or take a bath in his bowl so I am always having to relocate the little guy. Doesn't matter if Charlie's in there or not, the Caique doesn't care. This is why I thought I'd make some changes in location to give Charlie his own space in the AM and later at night but he would still be out the 2-4 hours per day in the main area until the wife's schedule increases. As far as converting our house into a bird only area, we're a family of 5, 2 birds with rather large cages and 1 pretty large dog all squeezed inside of 900 sq ft. It's TIGHT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRSeedBurners Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Ok, I remember speaking about the Caique. Yeah, Caiques need to come with a little hoodie that says "Step aside punks - Caique is here" printed on it. I didn't mean convert your whole house, I meant one room if you can spare a room. Makes a world of difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tankaray Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 It's in the moving plans 2 years from now when the wife graduates, until them I'm living in the bird room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 My greys fly to my doorways, kitchen cupboards and just hamg there chewing....it is a normal grey thing. All my windows, window panes, cupboards, door frames are chewed....the only way to stop it is never let them out of their cages...not gonna happen! I am lucky that they don't like spray bottles...so I spray them in stream if they do it...but they still try, it just gets them off quicker......I have also redecorated my kitchen with spray bottles hanging from every cupboard to keep them away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muse Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I called it misbehavings, the wife not so much. Given the cost of new doors just sitting in the garage she isn't a happy camper. Last night for the first time Charlie flew to our thermostat on the wall. It sticks out what 3/4 of an inch. Anyways while hanging on it he hit the heat button and tried to smoke us out. I just finished up relocating it this morning running new cable under the house so hopefully it won't happen again. Or so I think. We have a temperature sensor in their playroom. It's designed to mount on the wall and looks like a small thermostat, however I foresaw problems with landings, chewings and poopings. So we got one of those acrylic boxes that are designed to house a thermostat in a community type setting so it can be locked so that only those with the key (presumably management, building owner, boss, etc.) are able to adjust the temperature. It works like a dream! Romeo is remodeling the French doors to the playroom and the solid mahogony front door. I'm with Sterling on the "can't have nice things." We need to make a meme, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 We CAN have nice things! I am determined! Down to three windowsills Sophie can't get enough of. As I replace, plastic goes around them, she doesn't like that. Her doors wont be closed, but i know where she tends to poop, hang out, or chew.I remain " one step ahead of Sophie!" Planning on remodeling bathroom. I am hiring someone that has known Sophie her entire life! She will stepup to him... and he has no problem telling Sophie he doesn't need any help. It will work! Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muse Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 We CAN have nice things! I am determined! Down to three windowsills Sophie can't get enough of. As I replace, plastic goes around them, she doesn't like that. Her doors wont be closed, but i know where she tends to poop, hang out, or chew.I remain " one step ahead of Sophie!" Planning on remodeling bathroom. I am hiring someone that has known Sophie her entire life! She will stepup to him... and he has no problem telling Sophie he doesn't need any help. It will work! Nancy We try that. One step ahead of Megan seems to be more than I can do. As I was reading this, she just landed atop the fridge (AGAIN) and is after the magnets. She's determined to play with them, I am determined to leave them there and convince her to leave them alone. I strongly suspect this is a battle I will not win, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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