Experienced advice needed please

[SRSeedBurners]

I'm with birdhouse on this one. I asked about past behavior because if this was brought on by one incident and Echo being a 15 year old bird that has never acted like this before, it HAD to be a traumatic incident they pulled.

 

My daughter told me what happened with my ex-wife and our Grey 'Odie' that she still had at the time (who is now with my aunt until I get her back - another story). Apparently some guy she was dating had come over and was waiting on my ex to get ready. He decided to pass the time by grabbing a broom handle and shoving it in the cage at Odie, who started to panic, which alerted my daughter who came running to see what was happening. Daughter ran and told Mom who promptly came out swearing and screaming and sent the dude packing. He's lucky I wasn't there because I nearly shot one of my neighbors for a lesser crime (another story from my colorful little past).

[Echo's Mom]

I had a huge discussion (and a bit of yelling on my part) with my friend. I'm pretty sure she gets it, especially since Echo did actually hurt her.

 

Generally speaking, yes, I would have dropped this person in a heartbeat and never spoken to them again. HOWEVER, she is absolutely phenomenal with dogs, and I do mean phenomenal. My dog who was seriously attacked by other dogs, and became extremely reactive and dangerous around other dogs. Within a month she had my dog at my side walking beside other dogs on leash. 6 weeks later, my dog was able to be off leash with other dogs (not at off-leash park, a supervised area).

 

When I as finished yelling at her, she did explain that all she was trying to do was show her husband how "cool" Echo was. She didn't realize how terrified Echo was of men - she did have him waiting outside of her room on the other side of the glass door. She feels absolutely horrible, now that she understands just what her thoughtless actions has caused Echo to go through.

 

I really don't want to lose her as a friend (as I don't have that many LOL) ... I think it has been a huge learning lesson for her ... just because you're awesome with dogs, doesn't mean it transfers to all animals. And it will be a very big lesson for me ... one in patience and forgiveness (two things that I know I lack a lot of when it comes to dealing with people)

 

Yes, Echo is not the "typical" grey ... she's not a rescue / rehome, etc. She's a fabulous parrot who has led a very sheltered and protected life, and has just suffered a trauma. I can just hope and pray that the awesome bond we do share will transcend all of this over time.

 

Thank you everyone for you support and kind words. And in reality, if she was "just" the dog walker, yes, she would have been out of there.

[kins2321@yahoo.com]

The one thing about our " forever friends", is we can get mad at each other, argue, communicate, and we laugh in the end. I just went on vacation with my friend of 25 years. She met my sister and nephew and family. She fit right in! She SUCKED at games, as she laughed at her own cards that she needed to have a " poker face!" she couldn't do it. My sister LOVED her! She also kicked our but at rummy 500... we had sooo much fun! Nancy

[Echo's Mom]

Kins2321 ... This pretty much sums it up!

 

I've very little patience with most people in this world that I have to deal with face-to-face. I don't know if it's me, my age, or I'm just surrounded by thoughtless people LOL

 

BUT ... as I mentioned she is a dear friend, and has bent over backwards to help me with my dog - she even took my dog for two weeks to work with her, and give me a break while I was trying to manage my dog and her then aggressive tendencies. The change she brought out in my dog was amazing. AND, she's one of the very few friends I have that I really truly like to spend time with.

[kins2321@yahoo.com]

You don't need to ask for an apology. You need to say " You are amazing with dogs", I need your help. I am planning to follow the advice of a web site that I follow and trust. I am asking you " to do what they suggest, and support me 100%" Don't argue or complain... I want to try this! I NEED you!

If I did this, with several friends that I have supported, they would zip their lip, as most of my friends are stubborn or opinionated ( okay... so am I}...they would be there for me, as I am there for them. I would support my girlfriend, as I am doing this week, to put her New foundlands butt in the car for her vaccines! She is a year behind. She thinks she needs four people, I think we will be fine with the two of us. Nancy

[Echo's Mom]

So a final update ... we have success! I wish I knew how to upload a video but I don't have any accounts anywhere, so it won't happen!

 

Last night I actually got to get her to step up onto my hand, and she let me give her scratchies on her head. And then I asked for a kiss, and I got 3 in a row. I was even able to do it again with my filming it!!!!!

 

This morning when I went in to her room, she flew over and landed on my shoulder and said HI MOMMY! Her first words since the incident!!!!

 

So, I'm 99.99% sure all is forgiven and life continues in the world of the grey!

[SRSeedBurners]

You were severely punished for your in-actions!

 

What kind of device are you using to take videos? It takes nothing to create a gmail account and upload to youtube. Would love to see it.

[Timbersmom]

Ahhh.. what a relief! Glad to hear the crisis is over and things are back to normal.

[katana600]

I'm traveling, just came in late to the thread. Awesome way to handle a problem from you, Echo and your friend after the fact to our forum members support and advice. Wow. Everyone in our lives need a little training. You have invested time in your friend and have reached an agreement. I still can't imagine what she was thinking to post the video and whether she still has a copy and if she is showing it to anyone. That would be a violation to me unless it was prefaced with "I thought I was smart until I traumatized my friends beloved companion and now I realize I was being really stupid and unkind". Glad you are working things out with her just the same, training a new friend is really hard. :-) I am so pleased that Echo is returning to her routine with you and is getting over her trauma. Poor baby. ... Kudos to the way you handled it and to our forum for the support.

[chezron]

Glad Echo is coming around after that frightening incident. Good to hear, too, that you took her outside for awhile. I know with my guys the sunlight really mellows them out. I have no explanation for this just personal observations. I call sunlight, "birdie valium."

[Mistyparrot]

So a final update ... we have success! I wish I knew how to upload a video but I don't have any accounts anywhere' date=' so it won't happen!

 

Last night I actually got to get her to step up onto my hand, and she let me give her scratchies on her head. And then I asked for a kiss, and I got 3 in a row. I was even able to do it again with my filming it!!!!!

 

This morning when I went in to her room, she flew over and landed on my shoulder and said HI MOMMY! Her first words since the incident!!!!

 

So, I'm 99.99% sure all is forgiven and life continues in the world of the grey![/quote']

 

What a relief that Echo seems to have gotten over her trauma. You must be overjoyed. Misty has never become that upset (so far), but I have found that whistling with him is a great way to bring his mood up.

You mentioned that Echo enjoyed the music on the radio. Can music be a route to her heart? Do you know why she is so unhappy with men? Was there a time when she was handled by an idiot?

questions questions always questions......!

 

Steve n Misty

[Echo's Mom]

Lots of questions ... Echo's never been "mistreated". I've had two relationships with her, and neither man was interested enough in parrots to want to develop a relationship with her. They were both indifferent to her.

 

The cable guy scared the poop out of her once, but I'm pretty sure she scared him back just as fast.

 

I didn't socialize Echo the way some people do. While I'm very "sociable" at work and when I need to be, I don't like having people in my space. So the reality is, she hasn't met a lot of people.

 

Echo loves music, and it is always on for her. One of the first things I do when I come home is put the dog on the treadmill for an hour, and I clean up / check emails, etc. and the music is cranked. Echo's usually on my shoulder or my head and we are dancing and singing, whistling away. I'm sure the neighbours think we are nuts!

 

We haven't got quite back to the same routine, but at least I can now pick her up, put her in her sleep cage, and get kisses. She won't sit on my shoulder right now, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

 

I use my iphone to take pics / videos, and I'm not really into creating accounts all over the place for "social media" I have facebook, and that's enough for me LOL