Dave007 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 WHAT IS the matter with you parrot people? Because, let's face it, parrot people are weird. Now don't deny it or send me indignant notes about how normal you are - you're not fooling anyone. Think about it: When a normal person brings a pet such as a dog or a cat or a goldfish into their homes, they continue to lead normal lives. They socialize with other normal people, they continue to listen to the same types of music, read the same types of books, and eat the same types of foods as before. You, my parrot- afflicted friend, do not. So how odd are you? Let's make a list! 1-- You are a scholar of psittacinism. You can spell psittacinism. You scour the Internet and bookstores for research material on parrots. You join discussion groups and share in agonizing detail each tiny movement of your parrot with other parrot owners, who then share a more-than-unusual interest in everyone else's parrot's poop. In fact, poop now occupies so much of your thought and free time that you have lost interest in politics, career, and IRA earnings. 2--- You have begun avoiding normal people, because your parrot seems to have taken a dislike to normal people. This includes your spouse. When he (or she) walks into the same room as you and your bird, there is obvious resentment at the intrusion. However, you are trying to stop reacting this way. 3--- You eat parrot food. That is, you have taken to eating the special healthy people food you fix for your parrot. It's so much easier than separately preparing the usual junk for yourself. This is, in general, a good thing. (Just remember to avoid the birdie bread you made with Harrison's.) 4-- You have rearranged your furniture to accommodate your bird and future birds. If you are severely afflicted, you have bought a new house especially designed for parrotly needs, including vaulted ceilings, screened-in porches and rooms with drains in the floor. 5-- You buy only healthy and interesting pet toys that cost the equivalent of two months' salary and can be destroyed by a beak in five minutes. You ask store clerks questions such as, "Is the dye on this wooden block human grade?" and "What types of chemicals were used to treat this suede strip?" and "Where can I find your organic, preservative-free unshelled imported almonds?" 6--- You make your own bird toys. Sometimes you do this even when you can find bird toys you like. "My toys are cheaper to make, or more interesting," you tell yourself. And then you set up an Internet store or auction site to sell your toys. You use your other talents For the Good of Parrots. You make quilted cage covers, human clothing protectors, jewelry designed to be worn by humans and chewed on by parrots, paintings of parrots, key chains engraved with the parrot's name. Parrots are the dominant species on earth and they are simply using us to perpetuate their race and eventually take over. If you doubt that, just remember that it's the dominant creature who gets other creatures to take care of it. Think about all you do for your bird, the hours spent cleaning his cage, cleaning the floor, cleaning the food and water dishes, cleaning the bird toys, cooking food, cleaning the walls of said food, bandaging your skin from the latest nip. Then think about how you sit down exhausted and feel grateful and honored to look upon his pampered plumage and big dark eyes. This is not normal. You'll never see a dog person made misty eyed by the beauty of their pet slowly lifting its leg. I say it's high time parrot people reclaim their lives and save the human race from certain demise. Be strong - it won't be easy or done quickly, but by acting together people can thrive as a species again. Begin this journey just as soon as you finish sewing the cozy sleep hut that you're involved in right now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Haaaaaa Truth! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 You just had to bring up my short comings. THANKS Dave !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Shortcomings? I thought it was a list of credentials. I'm all in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 LOVED it! Okay... I'm not so normal! BUT... I love that my extended family that loves me so much, tries to adapt Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Who wants to be normal, certainly not me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Jeez, do we really have to read our lives in black and white? On the Internet for everyone to see? Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistyparrot Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 Misty just told me I am not to read your posts anymore! Sorry Dave. Misty n Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 LOL Steve! Sneak on your Kindle when Misty is asleep Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Misty will never know if done after bedtime! Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RachaelR Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Exactly!! I keep saying that I love crazy bird people!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I want one normal day...just one! I want to know what it feels like to be lonely or bored! Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danmcq Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Your all nuts! I only fret 23 hours a day, I take an hour for myself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 An hour? what the heck? I don't get an hour! I want an hour! LOL! Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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