murfchck Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT! Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check." "Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!" When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 That`s funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luvparrots Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 Oh great post. Great laugh! Thanks for my morning smile! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greytness Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 That's a good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave007 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 [TABLE] [TR] [TD=class: middletext, colspan: 2] The Medical A lady takes her parrot to the Vet. The Vet takes one look and says, "I'm afraid your parrot is dead." "That's terrible," says the woman, "How can you know that. You haven't examined it or anything." The Vet heaves a long-suffering sigh, places the parrot on the examination table, opens the door and whistles. At this, a labrador dog bounds into the room, hops up onto the table, sniffs at the parrot, looks up and shakes its head sadly. Then the Vet gives another whistle and a cat comes into the room, springs up onto the table, sniffs the parrot and then shakes its head sadly. "Well I'm terribly sorry Mrs Jones but there can be no doubt about it. Polly is dead." "Well, it's devastating news but thank you. How much do I owe you?" "That will be $640 please." "How much?" cried the woman in shock. "That's far too much money!" "Well it's your own fault," Said the Vet, "If you had believed me in the first place it would only have been $20. But you insisted on a Lab report and a Cat scan!" [/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=class: middletext, colspan: 2][/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=class: middletext, colspan: 2][/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave007 Posted October 31, 2014 Share Posted October 31, 2014 [TABLE] [TR] [TD=class: middletext, colspan: 2] Polynesia: Memory loss in parrots. [/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=class: middletext, colspan: 2] [/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=class: middletext, colspan: 2] [/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=class: middletext, colspan: 2] [/TD] [/TR] [TR] [TD=class: middletext, colspan: 2] [/TD] [/TR] [/TABLE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greytness Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 Love the puns! :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 I came in the first time for the smile. When I saw it in the "what's new" I had to come back to see what cleverness murfchck inspired this time. I hung in there for the graphics on Dave's and that was great. We have a pretty funny group here. Thanks folks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 Great joke, Murfchck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 Dave, as always, your jokes crack me up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdhouse Posted November 2, 2014 Share Posted November 2, 2014 ****************************************************************** SORRY, I CAN'T SEEM TO GET THE SIZE UNDER CONTROL FOR SOME REASON. ****************************************************************** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted November 3, 2014 Share Posted November 3, 2014 LOVED Dave and murfchck's responses! Too funny Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chezron Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Polynesia Memory Loss won't open for me. Bummer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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