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Do Not Talk To My Parrot (funny)


murfchck

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DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to

go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under

the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But,

whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!"

"I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he

discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just

as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman

go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant

yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain

himself any longer and yelled,

"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

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The Medical

 

A lady takes her parrot to the Vet. The Vet takes one look and says,

"I'm afraid your parrot is dead."

"That's terrible," says the woman, "How can you know that. You haven't

examined it or anything."

The Vet heaves a long-suffering sigh, places the parrot on the

examination table, opens the door and whistles. At this, a labrador dog

bounds into the room, hops up onto the table, sniffs at the parrot,

looks up and shakes its head sadly. Then the Vet gives another whistle

and a cat comes into the room, springs up onto the table, sniffs the

parrot and then shakes its head sadly.

"Well I'm terribly sorry Mrs Jones but there can be no doubt about it.

Polly is dead."

"Well, it's devastating news but thank you. How much do I owe you?"

"That will be $640 please."

"How much?" cried the woman in shock. "That's far too much money!"

"Well it's your own fault," Said the Vet, "If you had believed me in the

first place it would only have been $20. But you insisted on

a Lab report and a Cat scan!"

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Polynesia: Memory loss in parrots.

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