Inara Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 (edited) Time flies and so does HRH Inara, the bird formerly known as __________________. In just three weeks-ish, Inara will be three years old. She came to us a couple months after her 2nd birthday, and to the credit of her former humans, while they put her up for sale on Craigs List, they did not sell her to the first people who were willing to pony up the cash -- but rather looked for the best home they could find for her. I will be forever grateful that that home is ours. I was looking for another CAG, had visited several, when this beautiful little TAG completely stole my heart from the first moment I handled her. Just seconds after I picked her up, she laid her little cheek against mine and held it there. Her people said they had never seen anything like it. I knew at that moment that we were going to bond -- but I did insist on driving home and thinking overnight about this commitment, because I had made that same commitment twice ('zon and CAG) before and it was literally until death(s) we did part. What is adorable, and wonderful during those first few moments, days, weeks, months may turn into something quite different over a 25+ year span. Like many people who think that "babies are great because you can hand raise them," her humans weren't prepared for that cuddly little ball of fluff that they got from their breeder to turn into an active, demanding, adult bird whose instinct drives it to begin separating from its parents and wanting to leave the nest. They weren't prepared for that same instinct to drive her to demand attention from them after the cute stage wore off. They weren't prepared for *her* to decide when and *if* she wanted to be picked up or whether or not she wanted to interact with them. When I asked them how often they used their outdoor cage (as I had noticed one on their front porch) the reply was, "When I just can't stand listening to her any more." This was clue number one as to what the real reason(s) for selling her were. Clue number 2 came along shortly after, when one of them said, "She's really been pissed at me. She bit me so hard that now I will have a scar. " She proceeded to show me the mark on her finger. Naturally, she had become wary of handling Inara any more and I could see her hesitation while she was taking Inara out for us to become acquainted. It became apparent that the main reasons for their putting Inara up for sale after having invested so much time and money into her (they bought her from a breeder, and helped in her weaning process at the breeders) was not for "economic reasons" or "we just don't have the time to spend with her that she deserves," as stated in the Craigs List ad, but rather: 1) We weren't really prepared for how much she would change over time from that cute, snuggly baby; we had no idea that "hand raised" is meaningless when it comes to bonding as the bird matures 2) We weren't prepared to get severely bitten when we kept demanding that she be something she is not 3) We weren't prepared for the amount of attention that she would require and would demand after *we* had trained her as a baby to be given hours and hours of our undvided attention when we first got her, then went back to our usual routines when her novelty wore off 4) We weren't prepared for how expensive the avian vet visits are; how expensive it is to feed her properly; how expensive it is to house her properly. 5) We weren't prepared to have a creature in our home who is not like other domestic animals that do what we say, i.e., our dogs our cat and our horses 6) We expected her to fill our own emotional needs like a baby would; and/or our need for an animal status symbol and were disappointed when that was not the case as she matured. All of these are the true underlying reasons as to why Inara and many other Greys (as well as other species) are put up for rehoming once they start maturing, or worse yet become abused, neglected, and wind up in a rescue facility. Buying a baby bird is no guarantee that they will love you, deeply bond with you, trick train easily, talk, flourish, be happy, be less likely to pluck, or fulfill any other expectation that you may have. They will change over time (click here to see Danmcq's excellent thread on this) and *you* are the one who will need to do the adapting. Bonding and training have less to do with whether a bird is hand raised and more to do with experience, knowledge and temperament of the humans involved and the temperament of the bird involved. Ask your breeder if they are willing to take the bird back if you find yourself wanting/needing to rehome the bird. A breeder who truly cares about the breed and their birds should be more than willing to keep their flock members out of a series of "forever for now at least until we see what we've gotten ourselves into" homes. Think looooooooooong and hard about why you want a Grey (in particular) look at the above reasons why so many Greys are given up and ask yourself each one as a question: Am I prepared for _____________________. Give yourself cold, hard honest answers. Read Luvparrots' post So You Want To Be Owned By A Parrot here. There are thousands of non-baby birds in need of great homes. Birds who are more than capable of deeply bonding, whose personalities are known, whose quirks are known, and who can and will make fantastic companions. Babies are wonderful for experienced and committed Grey humans but not necessarily the best way to start out for people new to the world of companion birds. Just my ten cents and my own personal views. There are other good and valid opinions that differ from mine. Namastgrey, Inara's human Edited June 21, 2014 by Inara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 Excellent post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted June 19, 2014 Share Posted June 19, 2014 Excellent post! The commitment to a grey is life long. There are ups... when they are cute and snuggly, and their are downs.... terrible twos, destroying the house, biting and appear to dislike everyone. You may feel " what did I get into?" Hopefully, you all get to where I am now, with a fantastic bird that I love dearly. BUT... if Sophie was bald, bit me and everyone, I wouldn't give up on her.I know many will say " easy for you to say", but any animal I have ever taken into my home, whether nice or not, has been part of my home for life. Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Very well said and so very true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRSeedBurners Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Very timely post. Probably had the worst day ever with Greycie yesterday. Bitey, hateful, spiteful, aloof, cranky and wouldn't stop aerial bombing the baby Rio or fighting with Toby. I kept thinking 'terrible twos, terrible twos, terrible twos....'. Hopefully this phase will pass. If not and she grows to be a total pill, I got two other birds who will hopefully be nice to me. She had me on edge and I was acting out too. My wife actually told me, if I'm going to get rid of her, do it now while she's not attached to her. This of course was a total female gameplay b.s. statement. I'm not allowed to act out but the two girls in my house can go berserk - go figure. We're both attached to the Greycie Mae and there's no way she will be sent packing. I still contend - this bird, even if she turns into a total shiit is easier than my daughter by leaps and bounds and leaps and bounds. Human children can literally bring down hell on earth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muse Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 What an excellent post. Very well written! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inara Posted June 20, 2014 Author Share Posted June 20, 2014 (edited) Thanks guys and gals for your kind words. Sterling, just keep reminding yourself, take some deep breaths or have a drink and relax a bit and know that this too shall pass. You've got so much experience (let alone with HUMAN kiddos) and you know what to do. Miss GreycieeMae will be surfin' the sweetness wave again before you know it. Remind yourself not to take it personal, and maybe consider limiting Greycie's time out when Baby Rio is out? Just for awhile perhaps until her little beak is no longer out of joint. Edited June 21, 2014 by Inara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murfchck Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Since bringing Bongo home, our lives have changed so much. 7 parrots later, and most for the reasons listed in this thread, our life is really for the birds. Going out, even just for dinner, is carefully planned. Our family gets their time out of the cage for a minimum of 4 hours and their dinner needs to be made before we have to put them back up so we can leave, but then we have to be home before 8 pm so we can play with them more and then put them to bed. Their needs always come before our own. Plucked chickens or not, they are our fids and the love we have for each will never change. Are they moody? Heavens yes, and with as many as we have their moods are rarely the same on any given day. PMS times 7... on steroids!! Peace and quiet are things of the past. This is our life now and people say we are crazy, all I can say to them is, "Yup, guess so and I have the shirts to prove it!" But I wouldn't change a thing! Any birds that need us are welcome into our home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 You have to know what you are getting into when you take on parrots as companions in order for them and you to be happy. In my case I need my fids more than they need me, so I give them every ting I can to make them as happy as they make me. If you can`t fill their needs than don`t have them. Remember we took them out of the wild and put them in a cage, And they forgive us when you take the time to love them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistyparrot Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 That is a great post. If any of my friends ask advice about adopting a baby Grey I will direct them to your post. It makes a great deal of sense. Steve n Misty Ps May I just comment on the appearance of your text. The script displays as light grey on my computer making it hard to read. I had to copy it into a WP to be able to read it comfortably. It was well worth the effort though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Same here Steve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brat Birds Posted June 20, 2014 Share Posted June 20, 2014 Great post. Only problem is not enough preGrey people will read it. Something like this should be posted in pet stores and at breeders - wait, that would affect sales - a no go to that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inara Posted June 21, 2014 Author Share Posted June 21, 2014 <snip> . . . . Ps May I just comment on the appearance of your text. The script displays as light grey on my computer making it hard to read. I had to copy it into a WP to be able to read it comfortably. It was well worth the effort though. Thank you, Steve, for your kind words and for the input on the font color. It appeared darker grey on my monitor and I had no idea it was close to "invisible ink." I've changed it to basic black for ease of reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timbersmom Posted June 21, 2014 Share Posted June 21, 2014 Thanks Inara! Easier on the old eyes here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistyparrot Posted June 21, 2014 Share Posted June 21, 2014 Thanks from Misty and me as well Inara. Actually I don't think Misty can read but as he is a Grey nothing would surprise me! Steve n Misty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 Sterling... we have seen so many posts regarding Gracie. She has so much potential... and truly is a very smart bird. Hang in there...she is a keeper! ( I know you will anyway). Get thru the terrible twos( sending my prayers). It is a tough stage and dealing with a female teenager, is double the work. Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve 2 Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 Spot on Inara. Unfortunately my learning curve with birds of cognitive abilities has been flat with a slight angle up. Yes you want them to fit your needs and worse yet I thought I could do the dog dominance thing.....big mistake! Lucky for my Toulouse my learning curve has finally met a level where his needs are met, mostly. There is still room for me to grow. Toulouse is perfect as is, a perfect creation that I have the privilege to have as part of my family. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inara Posted June 30, 2014 Author Share Posted June 30, 2014 Steve, many of us have had our trainingwheel birds and in hindsight are thankful they survived our learning periods Your Toulous is such a well loved and cared for guy, and it is great to think of the many years ahead of fun for you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greytness Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 This month marks Maalik's 1 year hatch day. I'm amazed at all the changes I've seen in Maalik's development within such a short period of time. And I know, or at least I think I know, what I'll soon be going through with my strong willed guy. LOL! From a cuddly little baby to one who loves to torment my Amazon and my husband by flying onto his back and strongly beaking on his ear lobes! I love this guy with all my heart. He's sweet, engaging, intelligent, bratty at times, and SO very complex. Every day is such an adventure! LOVE him! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kins2321@yahoo.com Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Greytness....all sounds good! It may be smooth sailing! Noone knows. My grey and amazon always had an ongoing battle, but really loved each other. Kiki taught Sophie how to fly ( amazon). Kiki always tested new food. We lost Kiki last summer. Its been hard on Sophie. Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inara Posted July 10, 2014 Author Share Posted July 10, 2014 Greytness, Maalik is a lucky guy! A sense of humor is so necessary to have (and keep even on the wild days) and I enjoy yours. Can't wait to watch you and Maalik's relationship continue to unfold. :cool: : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greytness Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 I truly appreciate that! I'm so fascinated by the complexity of this bird. I have 8 other fids, but he's the one who strongly pulls at my heart string like no other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chezron Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 True words about the reality of bird ownership! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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