Adopt 2 year old CAG??

[DWRVT]

Hi everyone, I am sorry if this is a stupid question but there is this one grey I keep seeing online and thinking about. He is 2 years old and owner says he is very affectionate so far - already saying lots of things Obviously I will try to meet him a few times to get an idea if this true.

My question - Is it likely that a 2 year old with this personality is probably going to stay that way or is it quite possible he could change completely with a new owner and/or through puberty??

 

I am still strongly considering a baby to try to mold to my idea of cuddly but I think somedays that maybe I am thinking of them too much like dogs; that even a 16 week old bird is going to develop it's own personality regardless of how I try to mold it. So maybe I am better to go with an older bird? I don't know - this decision is proving to be difficult for me

[Luvparrots]

There are no guarantees that a grey will be this, that or the other thing. Go look at this grey and if it's to be, the two of you will know it. Good luck.

[Mistyparrot]

Hi everyone, I am sorry if this is a stupid question but there is this one grey I keep seeing online and thinking about. He is 2 years old and owner says he is very affectionate so far - already saying lots of things Obviously I will try to meet him a few times to get an idea if this true.

My question - Is it likely that a 2 year old with this personality is probably going to stay that way or is it quite possible he could change completely with a new owner and/or through puberty??

 

I am still strongly considering a baby to try to mold to my idea of cuddly but I think somedays that maybe I am thinking of them too much like dogs; that even a 16 week old bird is going to develop it's own personality regardless of how I try to mold it. So maybe I am better to go with an older bird? I don't know - this decision is proving to be difficult for me

 

Misty was two years old when we came together. We have been best friends ever since. That was nearly ten years ago. Go for it. Two is a great age to adopt a Grey.

 

Steve n Misty

[Talon]

Rikki my grey was almost 2 when I adopted her. She has adapted very well, but i was her 4th home so it took her almost as long to really settle in and realize this was her forever home. Please understand that you can not "mold" them , they have their own personalities, and not many greys like to cuddle, if they do, it is on their own terms regardless of what age you got them.

[DWRVT]

Rikki my grey was almost 2 when I adopted her. She has adapted very well, but i was her 4th home so it took her almost as long to really settle in and realize this was her forever home. Please understand that you can not "mold" them , they have their own personalities, and not many greys like to cuddle, if they do, it is on their own terms regardless of what age you got them.

 

Ok - this is what I was wondering - if there really would be a huge difference between me getting a baby or an adult. I think I have been around dogs too long - LOL.

 

Thanks to all 3 of you for your honest replies!!

[Brat Birds]

I agree with everyone else. But, a two year old Grey is far from an adult bird. You have a few years of toddlerhood left! LOL

[Inara]

My beautiful Inara was 2 years and 2 months old when she came to live with us. She was going through a beaky/bitey stage with her past people at that time. They were dog people, and first time bird people, had gotten her as a chick, and I think they were totally unprepared (as are many) for their sweet little cuddly, dependent chick to turn into an independent bird. Many chicks are rehomed after a couple of years for this very reason. At about age 2-ish in the wild is when babies begin to merge into the flock and are way less dependent upon their parents. So actually (just my opinion) this is a great age for a Grey to move from their people of origin to a new home.

 

Inara made the transition beautifully, has blossomed like crazy, and is the sweetest girl ever, and we are deeply bonded, but I still would not refer to her as cuddly, nor would I refer to my first CAG with that term. Greys by nature (in general) are not cuddlebugs like cockatoos. In four-legged terms, I would say they are more akin to cats than dogs. Independent thinkers, choose people on their own terms, etc. Cute and cuddly babies don't necessarily "mold" into anything other than what nature intended -- a beautiful African Grey bird.

 

As others have said, go visit the bird and spend time with it. Make sure to ask its current human(s) to handle it in front of you, and pass it over to you, etc. so that you can get a feel for how s/he reacts. Above all, trust your instincts. If all feels right, it probably is. If you have hesitations, then listen to those instincts. Also, don't make an immediate decision while there, go home and think about it.

[DWRVT]

My beautiful Inara was 2 years and 2 months old when she came to live with us. She was going through a beaky/bitey stage with her past people at that time. They were dog people, and first time bird people, had gotten her as a chick, and I think they were totally unprepared (as are many) for their sweet little cuddly, dependent chick to turn into an independent bird. Many chicks are rehomed after a couple of years for this very reason. At about age 2-ish in the wild is when babies begin to merge into the flock and are way less dependent upon their parents. So actually (just my opinion) this is a great age for a Grey to move from their people of origin to a new home.

 

Inara made the transition beautifully, has blossomed like crazy, and is the sweetest girl ever, and we are deeply bonded, but I still would not refer to her as cuddly, nor would I refer to my first CAG with that term. Greys by nature (in general) are not cuddlebugs like cockatoos. In four-legged terms, I would say they are more akin to cats than dogs. Independent thinkers, choose people on their own terms, etc. Cute and cuddly babies don't necessarily "mold" into anything other than what nature intended -- a beautiful African Grey bird.

 

As others have said, go visit the bird and spend time with it. Make sure to ask its current human(s) to handle it in front of you, and pass it over to you, etc. so that you can get a feel for how s/he reacts. Above all, trust your instincts. If all feels right, it probably is. If you have hesitations, then listen to those instincts. Also, don't make an immediate decision while there, go home and think about it.

 

Thank you!!! That all makes so much sense. I have arranged to meet the owner on Saturday. I will see if he is willing to let me visit a few times to see how this grey interacts with him and how he reacts to me.

I promise I will trust my instincts and not make an immediate decision.

[shanlung]

Please forget about a warm cuddly chick to bond with you.

In long term, that is not good for the birdie , or for you.

 

What prompted me to write mentality of grey // Imprinting of birds//

 

Riamfada was about 5-6 years old, and wild caught. She was bitey and fearful when she first came to me.

 

Within a week, she flew to me on recall cues , and sleep on my hands on her back in a couple weeks later.

 

You can see early photos of Riam and how even single wing chopping of feathers did not prevent her from flying away from earlier owner ending up into my care.

 

Karmic retribution on Katie and Riamfada trust

 

In above, I thought Riamfada was a him until she showed her bitchiness to confirm Riam a she.

 

 

 

 

For that birdie, or any birdie, follow what your heart tells you and you be ok.

[Talon]

I am not a believer in only getting a parrot who "picks you" . I don't believe they can possibly know right from the start if they like you or not. Us humans are much more complicated as we find, when we first meet another human, and think we like them, or are in love with them, only to find out as time goes on that it wasn't the best choice and we move onto other relationships. I think it is far more complicated when it comes to a parrot for many reasons, first off, we don't speak their language, that takes years of interactions with them and we never really do understand them completely nor do they understand us. We struggle with our interactions with each other and do the best we can on both sides. Yes, we love and adore them and I believe they Love and adore us as well over time. They WANT to Bond with us, want to be a flock member. I feel ANY parrot will do their very best to fit into our lives and bond with us as long as we show them the love, care and respect they so deserve.

 

I say this because out of my 6 birds, we never went to see them and 'see' if they picked us, they aren't capable of that in my opinion in just a visit or two or three. I took my 6 no matter what, without ever seeing them first. They are all sweet, loving and has adjusted into us family as we have accepted them and done everything we can to make them understand they are loved, respected and cared for the best I can.

[danmcq]

My question - Is it likely that a 2 year old with this personality is probably going to stay that way or is it quite possible he could change completely with a new owner and/or through puberty??

 

I am still strongly considering a baby to try to mold to my idea of cuddly but I think somedays that maybe I am thinking of them too much like dogs; that even a 16 week old bird is going to develop it's own personality regardless of how I try to mold it. So maybe I am better to go with an older bird? I don't know - this decision is proving to be difficult for me

 

Good questions! You have received a lot of great responses from several people here. I'll give my take on this from our experience in selecting dayo or should I say he selected us. When we decided to get a grey we search for breeders in our local area. We found one just a few minutes from our house. As it turned out they had two clutches of Grey's that were approximately 6 weeks old. We started visiting the breeders 3 to 4 times each week. At the age of approximately 10 weeks old, two Greys started coming to us each time we came. One in particular we wound up naming dayo would run to the front of the cage climb up the door and start calling to us from the cage when we walked in. He could not wait for us to come to the cage and open the door so he could step up. The other grey we named Leah would then also run to the front of the cage and have one of us pick her up. Over the next six weeks until the grays were 16 weeks old dayo and Leah consistently came to us while the others stood far off. There was no doubt that dayo and Leah had chosen us. We wound up with just dayo. During the first six months dayo was my wife's cuttle muffin. He tolerated me and interacted with me, but not nearly as much as he did with my wife. Even though I was the one that wanted a grey and considered him mine, I had to face the fact that my wife was his cuttle muffin. I was the one that got bit most the time and I put up with it. I would correct him of course, but I still occasionally get bitten to this day seven years later.

 

From six months onward dayos personality started changing as he aged. At one year of age he started becoming more independent. He would bite my wife occasionally and me more often. He still enjoyed his cuttle times with my wife and scratches etc.

 

At two years old he became a real hellion and was becoming very independent. Then what was his, what was ours was his, if he could see it, it was his and if he thought about it was his. He would violently protect anything he considered his by biting. He would at times fly and either bite your hand or fly around to the back of your neck and give a good pinch. This continued for the entire year he was two and also into the third year. He was also becoming more independence to the point that he would enjoy just sitting in his own areas such as on the play stand top, of the couch or on the kitchen counter. He still had cuttle sessions with my wife in the evenings and got scratches as well.

 

Continuing on years four through seven, dayo has mellowed out. Bites are few and far in between. He is very content most days just to set hang out on a tree stand back of the couch and just enjoy sharing our living space with us. Evening time is when he normally want scratches and just kicking it with us while he sits on one of us most the time my wife. He is fully mature now and has truly established himself as his own individual with his own personality.

 

Long story short, even though he chose us did not mean he would remain a cuttle muffin for life. He has become a true African grey that maintains all the wild instincts. We now let him choose how he wishes to interact with us and when. It would be of no use to continually try to make him the cuttle muffin he was one of baby. It wouldn't be natural, it would never happen and it reminds me much as we watched our own human children go from baby to adult, they will never be that baby cuddle they were in the beginning.

 

So as others have said, taking in a baby, a two-year-old grey or even an older grey, the grey will dictate the relationship. They each become individuals, some will remain cuttle muffins, but not many. I personally, knowing much more than I did in the begging, would not hesitate to take in a grey or any age in need of a home. The reason I say this, is because of our own experience. Getting your grey as a baby or adult will result either way in the grey being who they will be regardless of what you wish for. I love the grey species as a whole and am not disappointed the Dayo became the gregarious and glorious creature he was intended to be. Only you though, must decide if you want the experience from baby to adult or not. Thats the only difference.

Edited January 1, 2014 by danmcq

[judygram]

First off there are no stupid questions, this is a forum for grey lovers so we all know where you are coming from and if you don't ask then you aren't going to find out the answers. As most everyone else has already said at two years of age they are still a baby but it doesn't make much difference in the age of a grey when you first take them into your home, if you give them the time and love and are very patient with them even the most difficult ones can be won over, you have to earn a grey's trust, with some it will come more easily but with some it will be a long and arduous process but well worth it when it happens.

[JeffNOK]

I got a baby grey because I was a newbie with birds and thought I was safer with a young one without baggage. I also believed I could mold her into what I thought I wanted. Well, I can't say I molded her in any way. I tried, believe me...but she was destined to be herself. My contribution was really just loving her, being patient, making her safe, and letting her be herself. I wouldn't change anything. I agree with the others....the difference between getting a baby or a two year old will probably make little difference in the end result and relationship forged. I look forward to hearing what you decide.

[judygram]

I got a baby grey because I was a newbie with birds and thought I was safer with a young one without baggage. I also believed I could mold her into what I thought I wanted.

Kind of like some people think they can mold their spouse into what they really want in a spouse, it just doesn't work that way, greys have a mind of their own and you just have to accept them as they are.

[chezron]

I think Jeff and everybody is right on! Just provide loving kindness and guidance and allow your grey to develop into his/her uniqueness. Brutus went through the terrible twos and came out the other side a sweet calm guy. He is probably the cuddliest a grey can get which is NOWHERE near what a cockatoo requires. He likes kisses all day long, but petting only in the morning and at night. If I don't pet him by a certain time at night he stands around with his leg in the air because he wants to be picked up so badly! I, of course, do not allow him to go ignored in this position if I notice it. He loves Wheel of Fortune because knows he will be in Mommy's lap for 30 minutes. After the show it is sometimes difficult to convince him to change positions, usually if I mention his favorite food he will allow himself to be transferred to the kitchen. He is so sweet! Love my feathered kid!