I am afraid of my new bird

[chezron]

Greetings,

I am new to African Greys and to this forum. My love, my quaker, died after 18 years a few months ago. She was the sweetest most loving bird, and I feel it will be difficult to have another relationship with a bird that will be as fulfilling. She, my quaker, picked me and I felt loved and trusted from the moment I met her. I do not have the same experience with the bird I may well be spending the rest of my life with. I have, however, put a down payment on a young african grey. She seems to be sweeter and quieter than her nest mates. I spend a little time with her, whenever I can, at the pet store every few days. The store is very good about keeping birds until they are fully weaned and socialized. The thing is she hides out in the corner of her cage and does not come out willingly. I hope to bond with her, but we are not starting out like I had hoped. The problem, I think is my attitude, I am afraid of being bitten. I know I should be confident and assertive, but I am not. Please advise on my situation. I really want this to work and I am terrified that it will not. Thanks.

[nevjoe]

chezon, how old is the grey? What are you afarid of? What do you do with the bird when you visit?

 

Joe

[birdmom]

Hello. You shouldn't be afraid of a baby. They don't know how to bite yet. At least, it shouldn't. Biting is not natural behavior, they'd have to have a bad experience, and instinctively had to bite, or learned it from another bird. I think you should just trust your birdy and it will trust you. They can read your emotions. If you are hanging back, the bird will too. They also have to learn the step up command. You may want to find out the bird's favorite treat. Have that with you and come bearing gifts. Maybe an apple slice. That's what I did. Don't expect too much just wait until the bird comes to your hand for the treat. That will be a milestone. Then go from there, one step at a time. Once the bird is taking the treat from you, you can begin training it to step up. The pet shop should be working on step up with the bird and socializing it. If not, you will have to.

[chezron]

We do step ups when I visit. She does them readily and easily. I talk to her too. I really don't know what else to do that would be entertaining for her. I will bring a sliced apple next time. I guess it is a learning process for both of us. I am afraid that my husband, who is assertive and gregarious, will become the favorite, but I would rather that it be me. Thx.

[danmcq]

HI Chezron and Welcome!!

 

Your baby Grey that your visiting in the pet store is acting normal. That is a scary environment with all kind of sounds and different people walking about all the time.

 

I don't read anything in what you have posted that would indicate any aggressive behaviour such as growling or lunging at you. So it seems she welcomes contact, just a little reserved about it until she truly trusts you implicitly. So, you need to try to dispel your fear of a bite and focus on positive and loving thoughts as you approach her and reach in for her.

 

As you you continue to visit and interact with her, she will naturally come to view you as a friend and one she enjoys contact with. :-)

[nevjoe]

I think you need to understand that birds do bit. It does not feel good but it is part of there makeup. NOW some will not bite but just lunge at you and seem to want to bite. My double yellow head will just do that, and I tell people about that when getting near the bird.

 

Never, never pull back when the bird is looking to bite you. IF HE BITES AND IT HURTS, DON'T SHOW ANY EXPRESSION. When you visit again don't treat him like a raw egg, he won't break. Move you hands all over him GENTLEY and get fear out of you head. You need to know once he is home you will be able to show him love and trust.

That goes both ways.

 

Joe

[Dave007]

I agree with nevjoe when he says

 

""""""I think you need to understand that birds do bit. It does not feel good but it is part of there makeup. """""

 

We have two legs, two arms. Every thing we do besides walking is started by using our arms, hands.

 

Any parrot's beak is their arm. He first explores with his beak, bites easily or bites hard. Eats hard seed with a certain power, eats bananas with a certain power. With a grey, that's a trait that will stay with him/her for the rest of it's life, not just as a baby. When a grey gets much older, they become aloof and sometimes distant even though it has nothing to do with it's feelings for you. An adult grey will not remain that cuddly little bird that was cuddly when it was a baby.

 

It really doesn't sound like he's doing anything unusual in a pet store environment.Some days, he'll stay away, sometimes he'll be coming rushing over. In a pet store, there's a million other things going on which can easily distract him. He's just a baby and shows interest in these things in different ways and that includes new things which might affect his attitude on your visiting day.

 

If I may say 2 things, one of which is personality--a grey can't be compared to a quaker in any shape or form. They're two entirely different birds with totally different personalities. Each species has to be dealt with according to it's natural personality and traits. Expect to be bitten by a grey in the future. That's the way they are.

 

The second thing is the art of socializing. Hoping that the bird will take to you as opposed to your husband can only cause problems in the future. Immediate socializing with your bird, you and your hubby is very important. Socializing should be on the top of your list. Hoping that the bird will take to only one of you will definely create a *one person* bird which most people hope will not happen in their household.<br><br>Post edited by: MrSpock, at: 2007/10/07 19:06

[GreenT]

We have a Green Cheeked Conure (that is pretty nippy) so the introduction of our Grey came with pretty open mind when it came to the bites. I did notice that our Gray's bites aren't as hard as the Conure's which sounds funny but true. Also, the best thing to do I have heard is to let them bite and avoid pulling back quickly (so they know that you aren't afraid and their bites don't "control" your action).

 

BUT.. I have to say, I have been more afraid of the bird's size rather than the nips here and there. Their level of "exoticness".. Really of hurting them or of not being able to control her if she climbed up on my shoulder or head which I avoid. Funny you would think I would be more afraid of the small Conure.

 

So far though (4 days now total).. not bad at all. The important thing I keep hearing is to make sure they know you are the boss still and not getting into games where they learn to control you with their antics.

 

Oh.. also.. I guess height is important. If they are constantly higher than you it isn't good and they learn to be dominant. I lowered the top perch of her cage so that she is at least eye level with me at highest point.

[birdmom]

Okay, well try. Remember, no apple seeds, they're toxic. Just a slice or two of apple, maybe a grape?

Greys do usually pick a favorite human. Often but not always its someone of the opposite sex. Dont ask me how they know. My female CAG vomits for my males visitors. (not frequent) But even so, she is jealous of my male CAG. He tries to vomit for me, and I am a woman. He also does the puppy squeaks and dropped wings. So, I'm flattered and try not to encourage it. Anyway, don't buy the bird just in hope it will love ONLY you. If it picks someone else other than you, you will all have to train it collectively, to properly socialize Birdy to accept and not bite other people besides his favorite. There are other species of Parrots that are not so particular. Make lemons out of your lemonade and realize you have a jewel in the rough.

[chezron]

Thanks for all the great, heart-felt advice. We really hope to nurture a socialized grey that gets along with both of us. What I meant was my husband would be better able to handle any possible misbehavior. We had a good visit today. I brought a nice juicy apple which was enjoyed by all. I held her steady while she flapped her wings. We even tried laying her on her back, and tickling her tummy. I noticed she makes a vocal fuss when trying to extract her from her cage, but I just tried to ignore the complaining and took her out anyway.I am trying to be more assertive and dominant. Thanks for the advice.

[danmcq]

It sounds like your visit went well and you and baby grey enjoyed it. :-)

 

We'll look forward to hearing of more visits. I'll bet your getting excited about bringing her home when the time comes. :woohoo:

[loviechick]

I have to agre with others in that a parrot is going to bite. In fact I'm yet to meet anyone with any bird no matter the species that has said my bird has never bit me, especially is they handle it regularly. In fact I have a huge bite mark on my arm from my friend's Moluccan Cockatoo, talk about a bite! The best advice I could give is stick your arm in there and close your eyes, if you see it coming you will anticipate it more and give yourself more of an adrenaline rush than it needs to be. I went from a Senegal parrot, about the size of a quaker, to a Grey, talk about a difference! The more confidence you have the better...and I'm not trying to ward you off from getting a CAG as it's one of the best things I've ever done, but maybe you should have started smaller, something the size of a quaker? Just a thought:)

[Dave007]

She said that she had a quaker for 18 yrs and it died.

 

Any way, a quaker's bite is worse than a grey because when a quaker bites it holds on and pushes the beak in deeper.

 

% of drawing blood from a quaker vs a grey

 

10 bites

Quaker-------draws blood 70 % of the time

grey---------draws blood 25 % of the time

[chezron]

Bob, my quaker, never drew blood, nor did he bite hard. I am working on communicating with Yabo to bite softly. Hey, it is worth a try.

[danmcq]

MRSpock Wrote: "Any way, a quaker's bite is worse than a grey because when a quaker bites it holds on and pushes the beak in deeper."

 

Ah, maybe youve never experienced a Grey that really wanted to hurt you?

 

I have had a grey bite, hold on and keeping clamping as hard as he could..... Thank God it was a boney part of the hand that didn't have a bunch of loose thick flesh or it would have taken a BIG chunk right out.

[Dave007]

""""""""Ah, maybe youve never experienced a Grey that really wanted to hurt you?"""""""

 

Well, I've been bitten by greys, TOOs, amazons, eclectus, small-medium-large macaws and a few other species. That's because of what I was involved in when I lived in MO. I've been bitten at least 50 to 60 times and have the scars to prove it.

Quakers are extremely territorial. That's not my opinion, it's a well known fact. Sometimes, quakers won't let a person take out bowls in order to get fed.

They're also well know for going after much larger birds than themselves as opposed to same sized birds. I have pictures of that. I should have also said that it doesn't apply to ALL quakers but in general, they do have an established personality that's well documented. Outside of the cage, they're a different bird. I also have pictures of that.

By the way, I have 2 quakers, both adults and I've had them since they were very young--one is 11 yrs old, the other 10 yrs old.<br><br>Post edited by: MrSpock, at: 2007/10/15 18:10

[danmcq]

MrSpock - I didn't question if, when, or how many times youve been bitten.B)

 

I was merely pointing out that a Grey can and will deliver a serious bite if they have a mind to. :-)

 

I would think, due to the pure size of a Grey's beak compared to a Quacker, the bite would be much more severe if the Grey inteneded it to be.

[scrohan]

I too have a baby grey and I was also afraid of the bite because of his size. I started with a Quaker too. My quaker has never bitten me, but bites everyone else in the family. My grey is 6 months old and does bite down, but does not understand that he can hurt. His bite is to "hold on" to me and he does not realize that he has the ability to hurt. We have been working on "gentle" for 3 months now and he seems to understand. His "holding on" to a finger is much more relaxed now and playing is also more gentle. The only time he has actually delivered a real bite was while he was toweled at the vet. He was very frightened. I think the babies just have to discover how hard is too hard and that is something they can be taught. As you work with your baby, you will develop more confidence in yourself too. You will also learn quickly what the baby is capable of and what you can expect. Then you will be more relaxed and so will your baby. Greys are awesome!!!

[nevval]

Chezron, I can understand your fears, because I feared other birds that bit me. When we got Hemingway, I wasn't afraid, but I was cautious. Then I realized he was a baby and didn't really know how to bite that hard. He can bite very hard now, but not back then! So as his bitiing gradually got harder, I became accustomed to it. I have no fear of Hemingway, but he can lay a good bite on you if he's falling or feels threatened. It goes with the territory.

 

Just treat him like you treated your quaker. You'll be fine!

 

Lots of Luck, Valerie

[chezron]

Thank you for the words of experience. Your tales really help me. I must say my quaker must have been completely like any other typical quaker. I always called him my mongoloid child because he was permanently happy. He let you mess with his food, his cage, and even him in his cage with absolutely no problem or territorialism, not even a hint of it. He loved my husband and I equally, even preferring the company of both of us to one, as a sort of flock. I feel very lucky to have spent so many years with him, and I know he is leaving a hefty legacy to my new bird.

[chezron]

I meant to say my quaker was "unlike."

[Guest]

Hi chezron, welcome here Every bird is an individual by itself, just like every child has its own character and virtues. No 'legacy' things therefore, because that would be unfair, no?

 

I am sure Yabo will fall in love with you. It is not always 'assertiveness' that is catching the heart but intentions etc.

[MARIR]

I think our Sun Conure is the same, he only bites to get my attention, or to tell me he doesn't like what I'm doing at the time, but he sures knows how to grab and chomp when he wants. Izzy and Gabby have I'm afraid, drawn my husbands blood, but its because my husband is a pain in the feathered tush, and doesn't "read" the signals the girls are giving him. I don't think they try to bite to hurt us, it's just another way of communicating that we aren't listening. Kind of like a two year old that can't speak the words but are trying to tell us something.

[kiwibarb12]

Regarding the birds loosing their cuddliness - I haven't ever had a baby AG, but my 11 year old tag loves to sit on my knee and have me scritch her head. She and I will sit together for over an hour some nights and just visit. She has got to the point where she will lay her head on my leg and just let me scritch. Mind you , I have a year and a half of scars to attest to the fact that you have to learn eachother, adn bites are inevitable.:lol:

 

anyway, you have to love your bird for the personality that it has, not the one you want it to have. and a lot of the fun is finding out what their personalities are. :lol: :lol:

[Guest briansmum]

great post kiwi and very true!