Building the trust back up

[neoow]

Hello all,

 

I recently joined this forum and posted a ridiculously long essay about my 9 year old CAG, Alfie who I've had since he was 11 weeks old in the intro forum.

 

I won't repeat myself here again but to put it very basically, I haven't been able to spend as much time with Alfie as I would like to due to work and time contraints and I'm trying to make that better for him to avoid ever having to consider rehoming him. I want to be able to have him out of the cage much more often and for longer periods of time but I feel I need to build the trust between us again. When he's out Alfie can be a little agressive towards me so I need to learn to understand what's causing this and how to rectify it. I find myself being a bit more wary of him than I used to be and I'd like to work on this so that we can both have a good time when he's out of the cage.

 

Other than a boat load of patience (on my part) are there any tips/activities/methods that you can share to help with this process? Alfie is happy with me going in to his cage. He doesn't scream at me and doesn't instantly try and bite me when I put my hands/arms in his cage. He will often step up on to my hand from the cage or he will make his own way out and to the top of the cage to survey the room.

He will sit on my knee, my forearm or my shoulder when he's out (prefers shoulder when I'm standing but is happy on a knee when I'm sitting). Sometimes he will let me stroke/scratch his head but he can sometimes start biting. Usually it's not overly vicious. If I say no to him (not shouting, just in a firmer voice than when I'm talking to him normally) he will sometimes stop but sometimes he will bite harder. If he starts to bite harder I tend to move him back to his cage and will sit back down and wait for him to get out of his grump.

Sometimes when he's sitting on my shoulder he will try and grab at my ear (thankfully I have long, thick, curly hair so he normally misses and just hits the side of my head) for -seemingly- no reason.

 

I'd like to work on him so both of us fully trust each other. So that I'm not wary of being bitten, he doesn't get into a grump and feel he needs to bite and we can both do more and more together. I'd like to do some training with him to teach him a few useful tricks (e.g flying to me on command, flying to a perch, step up (first or even second time of asking!), drop an item he is holding etc). Eventually I'd also like to get him an aviator harness- but am not even going to consider this until we both trust each other fully otherwise I can see it causing all sorts of unnecessary stress!

 

Any advice would be much appreciated. I have bought a few new books so am currently reading these- but I think it would help to have some insight from other parrot owners who have been there, done that and have tried and tested methods which worked for them!

 

Many thanks

Katrina

[Dave007]

I have no intention of insulting you here. Just being blunt and truthful.

 

You have some major things here that you want to happen but most of them have to do with long term lengthy time with your bird. The longer the bird is on it's own, the harder it is to train. many people here you that their daily lives changed a bit when they started owning parrots. Others will say they had no problems with the birds but that was only because they dealt with the bird when it was very young.

First off, you need to know the personality of an african grey which is different than another species and that other species is different than another species etc etc.

All parrots are wild animals and will remain that way throughout their lives no matter where they live. Adult greys are very aloof. Dealing with a wild animal is different than dealing with domestic animals. Domestic animals strive to make their owners happy. Parrots really don't care about that. As adults, greys are not what you would call cuddly. Other species are and other species aren't. Greys don't mind being left alone. They don't need to be dealt with on a constant basis but any training has to be done on a steady basis. Lots of time is put into training and it needs to be a constant thing. Greys are obstinent about doing new things unless they're worked with on a steady basis. Each thing has to be done on a long term basis.

 

*****I'd like to do some training with him to teach him a few useful tricks (e.g flying to me on command, flying to a perch, step up (first or even second time of asking!), drop an item he is holding etc).*****

 

Other than the dropping of an item he's holding, all of the rest of the things you mention don't come under the catagory of tricks. It's training the bird to do things that it's capable of doing because there's communication between the bird and the owner. Teaching a bird that communication takes a long steady time on a constant basis every day. With many people they have to change some of their daily things they do in order to accomplish that. Some of these things may even need another person temporarily involved in the beginning of certain training. Each one of these things you mention have to be done separely.

 

******I'd like to work on him so both of us fully trust each other. So that I'm not wary of being bitten, he doesn't get into a grump and feel he needs to bite and we can both do more and more together.******

 

Being bitten is dealt with by learning to avoid doing thing things that may cause it to happen. That's why there's a BODY LANGUAGE section here.

 

Doing more and more together means that much, much more steady time needs to be devoted to the bird and the owner being physically together ON A STEADY BASIS.

 

Being grumpy isn't something a person can change. When a bird wants to be that way it will be and body language tells the person what to do with a grumpy bird.

 

More than likely, that aviator harness won't work out because most parrots need to get used to that from a very early age. Adult birds will bite when devcies like that are used.

 

There are shoulder birds and no shoulder birds. A shoulder bird is one that will be on a shoulder and show absolutely no interest in getting nippy.

A no shoulder bird is one that will get a little nippy and then venture over to another place----earlobes, jewelry, nape of neck, cheek, clothes collars, pulling hair. A persson can never anticipate what a bird will do or what caused that bird to nip plus the bird is in an area where he can't be fully seen.

 

You know, I have many more things in my mind that I could say here but right now I have to go to my appointment for back therapy. So I have to stop.

 

I will say say that the more you add to your cirriculem, the less successful you'll be. Actually, the extra things you're doing outside will have to be lessened in order to spend steady time on a steady basis in order to be successful.

[neoow]

Thanks Dave. Blunt and honest is good! I'd rather people didn't edge around an issue but tackle it straight on. I wasn't insulted at all and I found it all very useful, so thank you.

 

I think tricks was probably the wrong word to use, really. Alfie already flies to me- but mainly when he wants to and it'll take some persuasion. So I think I just need to continue working on this so it's more consistent. Same with stepping up and turning round. He can do those, but it does take some persuasion at times. I think I just need to get to the point where Alfie wants to follow commands because he's happy to do so rather than just to shut me up!!

 

Interesting about the shoulder and non-shoulder birds. Alfie will quite often seek out my shoulder to sit on and will stay there for some time before he'll make a move for my ear. I tend to move him off my shoulder at that point. If he continues to be a bit nippy then I'll move him to a perch. He'll then either sit there for a while or will fly back to me.

 

I realise that everything with Alfie is going to take time and patience to rebuild the relationship which has unfortunately suffered. I know I need to do a lot more and need to be much more consistent with my time spent with him. I need to be a lot better with my time management so that I can spend much more quality time with Alfie rather than constantly bringing work home and studying and not giving him enough 1-1 time like he needs.

 

I was probably being a bit hopeful with the harness. And I know that's a long long way off if it will ever happen at all. I was trying to think of all the things I could do with him really and everything I want to achieve, hence the big long list! I'm not planning on trying everything at the same time. My first port of call will be to work on my confidence with him so that if he nips at me I can deal with it in the right way and not become wary of him for it.

 

Many thanks for your response

Katrina

[chezron]

Dave 007 you are so right about "Being bitten is dealt with by learning to avoid doing thing things that may cause it to happen." Definitely learn your bird's body language. The thread on body language just scratches the surface. I have had my guy for four years, and I can say that only lately do I feel I have a handle on what he is thinking. I do not attempt to make him do anything he is not in the mood to do because it just doesn't work. If i were you I would not allow Alfie on your shoulder. Brutus is only allowed in my lap where i can keep an eye on him. i also to do not force him to step up unless he extends his foot. If I ask and if he quickly lowers his head, I know he will not step up. I wouldn't say he is grumpy, i would say he is not in the mood. Also, if I ask to scratch his head and he jerks his head slightly, I know he is not comfortable with my request, and I refrain. If, however, I ask, and he puffs up his feathers and pins his eyes, I know he is "in the mood" for a scratch. Biting is not a mystery if you pay attention and respect your bird.