Kimijean Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 I started a new thread with this quote from another thread so as not to “steal” that thread…….. Kimijean looks as if we have something else in common. The men I meet look at me like I am crazy when I talked of having a bird. One even told me birds are nasty. Funny I thought he was the nasty one. Well I had to give my birds up after my divorce ten years ago, that wont happen again. I had 2 Parrotlets and was given a Goffins Cockatoo. I had to find them homes because my (ex)husband lost his job and ended up having to take a job working a graveyard shift. The birds made noise during the day and would wake him up. I promised myself that I would never part with an animal because someone else told me to ever again. My divorce has only been final for 2 months now, but this June makes 2 yrs since my son and I moved out. I’m not interested in a relationship right now, but I will never even consider being with a man that doesn’t love animals at least as much as I do. Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 but I will never even consider being with a man that doesn’t love animals at least as much as I do. Exactly Kim and don't feel that you have to have a man to be complete or happy but I know that will have to be one requirement if you do get interested in another man that he consider the pets as part of the family and not just possessions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ariisamis Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 I have learned that if a person loves you they won't ask you to give up the things that you love, even if it means that they can't be with you. With that being said I will not give up any of my children, human or fids. It feels great to be me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TWIX Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 I personally think we all should compromise a bit to make a relationship works. You won't be able to find the perfect person or the perfect life, and when the right partner comes we must learn to give up on some of the things we want. I am not saying that we should give up on our awesome parrots NO. Take my case for an example, i am married to a wonderful woman and she is very scared of cats and dogs (Actually any animal). I want to have a dog and a cat along with my parrots, but unfortunately i can't as she will freak out. I tried so many times to convince her and get her to change her mind and show her that these amazing friends are nothing but pure joy and a great addition to the family. Unfortunately, she can't get over her fair and i respected her wish. She also accepted parrots in our house and as long as they don't come near her she is fine. My wife has great qualities that dogs and cats can't replace and there is balance in our life and we are both happy. If i had all the animals that i want and i met her after that, we may have never got married, since meeting her came before that stage I HAD TO COMPROMISE .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest XxExoticPsychExX Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 I totally agree with Twix. I'm not married yet though! I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 5 years and I've made it clear to him on a billion occasions that I love animals and cannot, will not, live without them as companions. He's not a big fan of cats and I am. When we first started dating, he actually surprised me with my cat Jaime as a kitten (in a shoe box lol). However, if we were to take the next step, I'm willing to not have a cat. My mom spoils Jaime, so my mom's her favorite and Jaime could care less if I were around anyways. Also, my boyfriend says he'd rather have me as a bird lady as opposed to being a cat lady. But if he didn't like animals period, he'd be the one that would either need to change or leave! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywings Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Birds, Cats, Dogs love sharing our lives with them all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ariisamis Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Oh no I am not saying that you should not compromise, most people do in relationships. But I believe both people should be willing to compromise. I refuse to be the only one making all the changes or giving up who I am to please someone else. Compromise is great but being controlled is a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimijean Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 I agree. I was married for 17 yrs with lots of compromises. I just now refuse to compromise where animals are concerned. Any man in my life will need to love animals, period. I'm more than willing to compromise in any, and all, other areas. Also, I would be willing to limit the total number of animals. After all, I don't need a zoo. But right now I'm enjoying my total freedom and may never even want to be with another man. LOL!! Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimijean Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 Oh no I am not saying that you should not compromise, most people do in relationships. But I believe both people should be willing to compromise. I refuse to be the only one making all the changes or giving up who I am to please someone else. Compromise is great but being controlled is a problem. My ex was controlling. My daughter moved out as soon as she finished high school because he tried to control her (not her dad). Then our son, knowing I planned on leaving his dad, came to me one day 2 yrs ago and said "I'm tired of it, lets leave." Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
judygram Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 Good for you Kim, you go girl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimijean Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 Both of my kids and I are very strong willed and independent, no one is going to control us. Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest candismalli Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 Marriage definately needs to be based on compromise. I have learned over the years to enjoy things my husband likes, and I was never a fan of, and vise versa. I am fortunate to have married my best friend, and we can talk thru anything. I have always wanted a CAG but never thought I would get one. Hubbie told me to get one, that he has wanted to do that for me for years. Only after we were looking around did I find out that he had a lifelong slight fear of parrots beaks. When I realized that I asked if he was sure that he wanted me to get a Grey. He said that he really wants me to have one, and that he can just enjoy it from afar. I have now had Charley for a few weeks, Ray absolutely loves him, holds him often, and purposefully lets Charley beak his finger so he can get over his insecurity while Charley is little. He is very glad we got Charley and might even be more amazed by him than I am!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ariisamis Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 I am happy for the three of you. Enjoy your baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimijean Posted April 12, 2012 Author Share Posted April 12, 2012 Candismalli, I'm soooo glad to "hear" this. It's awesome that he would do this for you. It's the kind of thing I would do, now if I can only meet a man that would. When, and if, I'm ready of course. Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acappella Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Funny, this is something that's been on my mind. I've been single for the whole time I've had Dorian. Between caring for my Dad and dealing with my own health issues dating was not even on my top 100 list. Plus, being in my very small home town hasn't exactly been condusive to finding a partner (I didn't date the locals when I was a teen, and the pool hasn't improved in the intervening years lol). Now I'll be moving into my own home in a new town, and dating has been on my mind. I have no idea how Dorian would react. He is so bonded to me he might not take kindly to someone else being around. That being said, I could never be with anyone who didn't take my connection to Mr D. and my commitment to his well-being seriously. I'd allow time for a learning curve, and he wouldn't have to be as crazy as I am for Dorian, but respect for me would mean respect for my priorities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Life is Greyt Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Well said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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