Instinct and detachment

[Hannah_Rae]

Hey all.

 

I am hoping to get a baby girl from my breeder, but of coarse there are no guarantees that one of the chicks will be female.

 

My question is, I've heard that male parrots instinctively detach from their primary caregiver when they hit sexual maturity because in the wild they would go to a new flock to prevent inbreeding. If I get a male, am I doomed to have him detach from me at sexual maturity? Or are there things I can do? And do girls detach at all?

 

thank you all so much for your help.

 

Hannah

 

ps. I just found out that the first batch of eggs were clear. They probably won't have more eggs for 2-3 weeks.

[lovemyGreys]

Hi Hannah,

 

Many people do believe that a male grey will bond better with a human female & vice versa.They can change their minds at any point & pick their favourite person.I do believe proper socialization from a very young age is the way forward, share all the bird caring duties with someone if you can, i let my greys out of their cages during the week as my husband works away but at weekends he gets to do it, he gives their favorite treats etc.. i find this helps & at present all three accept us equally.If your grey does pick one person there is not much you can do apart from accept it & carry on

 

sorry to hear the eggs were clear

[Hannah_Rae]

So it is your opinion that as long as they are socialized appropriately that there is a good chance of avoiding detachment when they hit puberty? I hope so. I can't imagine being rejected after 4 years of putting my life into that baby.

[Guest Monique]

If a bird is going to switch allegiances it will happen within the first two years. If you want to be sure it will be "your" bird the only way to do this is to have more pleasant interaction with your bird than with your spouse. Otherwise, they will decide themselves who they like. As others have noted many are also successful in raising a bird that likes more than one person. However, it is natural for our parrots to bond to more than one person as they are a species that finds a life mate and lives monogomously with that mate throughout their adult life in the wild.

[Hannah_Rae]

If I get a female, will she want to bond with my husband as her mate?

[lovemyGreys]

Hannah i personally think it's all depends on the individual bird. Greys are flock animals,they need to be with their flock meaning their family, It is natural behavior for greys to communicate and interact with their flock. By flock i mean you & your family if you are going to keep a single grey.As i said on my last post i do believe interaction with many humans stands your bird in good steed for a healthy relationship. I have a female grey who reguritates her food for me, so my answer to you if you have a female she may bond to your husband, she may not, she remain neutral, i do not personally agree that a male will bond with a female & vica versa, but that's my own opinion.

[danmcq]

It seems that some people believe they will chose the opposite sex, but it is not always the case from what various sources in literature and online indicate.

 

There are no absolutes, so don't get a Male thinking you will lock him in to you being the Favored ;-)

 

I can say, so far Dayo (Male) seems to prefer Kim's attention more than mine. But he does spend a lot of time with me too.

 

Only time will tell if Dayo switches when he Matures. If he stays friendly as he is now with both us and all the visitors he interacts with, we will be blessed indeed. :-)

[Hannah_Rae]

Thanks everyone, that is very reassuring.

 

We are getting licensed for foster care, so there will be children coming and going to various periods of time. Will my grey get upset when they leave? How can I limit their trauma?

[judygram]

danmcq wrote:

Only time will tell if Dayo switches when he Matures. If he stays friendly as he is now with both us and all the visitors he interacts with, we will be blessed indeed. :-)

 

I think you will be blessed Dan and Kim.

[danmcq]

Well, thank you Judy :-) I hope so!!

 

It's good to see that we are getting input from some who have Mature Greys giving feedback like Tracy (LoveMyGreys).

 

If we could just keep this thread going with all our members that have Greys over 5 years old. Posting the outcome of their Greys when they Matured. We would have something quantifiable that all could reference. :-)

[Hannah_Rae]

Thank you danmcq and lovemygreys. You have both been so helpful.

 

I hope that lots of owners with older greys that they've had since babies will post their experiences.

[DayosMom]

I have to say, Dayo has truly been true to his name. "Joy Arrives."

I can't believe how fast he has reached into my heart, just by being.

Right now, he does favor me. However, Dan does spend quite a bit of time with Dayo when he is home. So I'd have to say it is about 50/50 right now.

 

I have no idea if this will change when he is at full maturity. I am hoping it doesn't. Dayo is a very social, loving, cuddly Grey. Not like most Greys we hear about.

We have only had Dayo for close to three months. But I believe, the difference is, we went over to the breeder's house weekly for 2 months and waited for one of the babies to chose US. After about 3 or 4 visits we noticed one was always near by, and very interested in us. We noted the tag number, and from then on, when we went to visit, it was ALWAYS the same number bird who came to us.

 

It eventually got to the point where he would just hear our voices, and go crazy to get out of the cage to come to us. I believe in my heart, our patience in choosing a CAG that was best for Dan & I is what has made our Cag so very special. And he is very, very, special.

 

The day Dayo arrived, "JOY ARRIVED" with him.

 

I love my Grey!!!

KimMcQ

 

Gotta go, BIG, BIG storm coming our way with HUGE hail and lightning. Lights flickering. Turn off PC.......

Bye

[Hannah_Rae]

That's what we did with our black lab/retriever mix. She always came and slept in my lap.

 

Our breeder lives 1 1/2 hours away, so i don't know how many times I will get to visit, but I hope that the baby chooses me.

[danmcq]

ALL GREY OWNERS with a Grey 5 Years old and above.

 

Please post your experience with this. WE rely on your help with everything we post.

 

Most of us can not possible answer this through REAL EXPERIENCE. We just say what we have read!!

 

Please post yours. :-)

 

Thank You MrSpock and LoveMyGreys for your responses!!

[loviechick]

From what I understand Greys in general are the most notorious parrot for doing this. However, I haven't heard one way or the other about male or female doing it more than the other, as I've seen it in both. One way you could avoid this is by getting a Grey that is a couple years old, I know it's fun to get a baby, but getting a rehome can be just as rewarding, and more than likely you won't have to deal with those detachment issues. That's how I got Zsa Zsa, she became suddenly super nippy to her owner right around 2 years old, so she got locked in a cage and it never got cleaned or taken out or anything, very sad. And Zsa is a sexed female. Now that she's with me she's fine I've never had any problems, so I think that she "left her flock" and "found her mate" and has settled down.

 

I've also never heard of male birds picking a female to bond with etc. From what I understand they can tell the difference between male and female based on hair styles, voices, physical characteritics, but they bond to those that haven't rubbed them the wrong way if that makes sense. I dunno thats just what I've heard. I have 4 female birds at my house, both my greys HATE men, as in will lunge, scream attack anyman that comes near them or their cage. And both lived with men before coming to live with me!

[Hannah_Rae]

I just don't know what to think. I guess I will just bring home my baby and love him/her the best I know how. My breeder is checking into this issue too, so we'll see what she finds out.

[judygram]

I don't think it will matter what sex the grey is, it is going to be more of an individual personality thing, they choose who they want to bond with and there is not much you can do about it but accept it and live with it.

[Guest]

I just ran across this & wanted to reply.

I have a TAG around 30 years old. We have had him about 5 years, and when we first got him, he would only let me feed him. He would bite, scream, ect at my husband. We got him from a single female which is who he lived with for over ten years.

After a few weeks he stared being comfortable with my husband, and now he treats us both the same.

He seems to "test" me more than he does my husband, and he gets by with more from me.

Hope this helps, feel free to ask anything you want. Hopefully, I can help you.

 

Debbie

[Hannah_Rae]

Thanks, Debbie, that helps a lot. I am really looking forward to your perspective. Karma for you.

[Toni]

I can vouch for that. Alcazar is a male and he's starting to bond better w/ my b/f and not me.

[dicky601]

WE are trying to bring Herbie up as socially balanced as possible. We have introduced nemerous friends and their children to him and so far it is going very well (both male and female)We did not want him to become a parrot that hates strangers.

 

Both myself and my girlfriend spend equal time with him and make sure we spilt the nice things (treat giving etc) and bad things (telling off for biting, puting in cage when he doesnt want to etc). So far it seems to be going well, although he is still a baby and obviously things can change as he matures, but hopefully the way we are treating him now will help him become a balanced and sociable pet in the long term.

 

I previously had a senegal Parrot which loved me but hated my ex girlfriend (to the point of attacking her), if I knew then what I know now I would have got rid of my now ex girlfriend

 

I bought the senegal from a pet shop and I dont think we were his first home, I spoke to a vet and they suggested he might have been in a home where the female was nasty to him.

 

As we have had Herbie from a baby (bought direct from a reputable breeder), hopefully we have a chance to bring up a parrot who will be happy and content in a loving home. Although at the end of the day, as others have said, there are no rules to this, we are dealing with personalities which can vary as much as one human to another.