Afraid of everything

[kave70]

Hi,

I've been lurking here for the past few months. Sam (CAG) came to us as a rehome just over two months ago. He's making progress as far as diet and being handled (only by my husband, he still won't let me pick him up, but will let me help him if he glides down and needs to be picked up), but I need advice.

He is afraid of every single change- if anyone new comes in, if he even sees a new toy(I've been putting them on the counter near his cage for him to see), if his perch is moved at all, if a toy moves, the ifs could go on and on. My question is do I keep exposing him to new things or is this torturing him?

Also, we have just ordered a new, really large corner cage. When I introduce that, do I just move all his stuff over at once, or leave it empty for a few days, letting him look at it?

He just seems so scared of everything, I don't want to make it worse.

Any thoughts on how to best help him?

Karen

[Talon]

Greys ARE afraid of most new things. You have to remember, that 2 months is not enough time for him to feel comfortable and trusting to you, your home, etc. Adding too many new things to that probably is a bit too much for him yet. I would lay off exposing him to new things until he has had time to get more adjusted to his new home. It can take months before he is totally comfortable....my cag took a long time. Keep things simple and calm for him, it will help him adjust.

[kave70]

Thanks for the advice. Do you have thoughts about the new cage? I really don't want to add any undo stress to his little world. He mostly just sits on his perch and looks around cautiously.

[Dave007]

You never said how old your new grey is. If it's an adult that's been owned by others, the bird's attitude probably started then. In the past someone had that bird which became an adult. One of the most important things that any new original owners of baby parrots should do is to begin a socialization process with that baby. Did they? Obviously, he's afraid of many things. It had to begin somewhere. Usually, the whole family gets involved in that process and doesn't allow the bird to get extremely attached to just one family member. Unfortunately, many people don't do that because in the beginning of ownership the new owner is thrilled that the baby bird becomes so attached to him/her. That's when the problem starts and manifests itself into something serious as the bird gets older and much more sure of itself. There are ways to ease the tension between your grey and you but if it's an adult, the ideal results you're looking for usually don't happen very quickly.

There's plenty of things that the bird has to get used to in his new home---household habits---new people----other pets----new environment----general hustle and bustle of the house etc etc. That usually takes months, not weeks. The bird has to first feel assured and comfortable in it's new house. Lots of talking to the bird, having the bird in the middle of everything that goes on in the house on a daily basis.

There's a couple of 'classification' names that apply to all pre owned adult parrots that're adopted. One is 'the bird has a past history' and the other is 'the bird has some baggage attached'. Most of the time, history and baggage can't be gotten rid of. It can be modified though as soon as your new bird realizes that many things are now different which also take quite a while if the bird is an adult.

The best thing to do right now is to say to yourself that "I shouldn't be disappointed if everything I hope will happen doesn't happen". Having that attitude allows you to see the many other great features of your new bird and will help you to enjoy and appreciate them.

Treats----offer the best kind. Try different nuts.

******My question is do I keep exposing him to new things or is this torturing him?

At this point ease up on doing that especially with a bird who's showing fear of many things. Constantly giving new things doesn't make a nervous bird less nervous. It increases it.

As far as the cage goes, I need to give an opinion about corner cages. many corner cages don't allow the bird to be in the center of things which is most important with a nervous fearful bird. A corner cage is just that----goes in the corner and because of the design, the cage stays in that corner.

The first and most important thing is to get the bird used to everything--household routines, daily habits, new environments, people moving around closeby but not touching the bird.

[judygram]

Dave is right on with his advice as usual and since this is a rehomed grey then it will take time for him to settle down and learn to trust you so give it plenty of time.

I also have to agree with him on the corner cage, they may seem roomy but being a corner cage they always have to be in a corner and it seems to me it is more difficult for the grey to be in the center of things if he is in a corner, they usually only need one side of the cage to be against a wall to provide some security, just my opinion.

[kave70]

Thank you so much for your response.

We have no clue how old Sam is. The vet gave him a clean bill of health, and he arrived missing alot of feathers, but all have grown in, beautifully. I wish I knew more about his background, but he was dropped off, at night to an empty parking lot with some other animals. We had him dna sexed and he's a he, for sure. I think you gave me some excellent advice about not getting disappointed if "everything I hope to happen doesn't happen." We may have to remind ourselves of that several times. Our intentions are good- I see all these active birds and toys and want to offer him everything, but knowing he's terrified, we've been keeping it simple. Right now he will play with only one toy but there are a few in his cage. We borrowed a cage from someone and have been reluctant to switch him to a new one, knowing how scared he is of change. I hope the corner one works out- it seemed to be the best fit for the space we have to work with, here in our main living area. I wish I had written before we actually bought the cage- it's due to be delivered tomorrow. Would you transition him all at once? Or leave it empty for several days letting him see it first? He has a play tree that he is terrified of, so for now we just keep it around for him to look at and hopefully he'll have the urge to play on it sometime.

When he first arrived here he would only pick the dried corn out of a seed mix and eat nothing else. He has slowly come around to eating pellets and we're really working on veggies and fruits- baby carrots and grapes are his favorites.

I am glad you thought we should hold off on overwhelming him. We try and do the right thing by him and I just feel for him. He shakes alot, but his only aggression has been preceded by very clear body language saying he's frightened.

I am home all day caring for a sick family member, so he has plenty of company, even if he prefers it from a distance. He does seem to love music and joins my tiel in singing (whistling) to the songs in the early morning.

His vocabulary is mostly of sounds, but when he first arrived he had quite the potty mouth. Now, he doesn't say many words, but has introduced us all to a variety of sounds I never knew existed.

Sam and I appreciate any advice you have for us. I've learned so much by reading these boards, but know we have a long way to go.

Thanks for any thoughts.

Karen (and Sam)

I'm sure I'll have loads more questions, but what do you think about

[Zoom]

Hi Karen. Welcome!

 

I think Sam will relax more with time. When I adopted Kazoo, my Amazon, she was 13 years old. She wasn't an especially fearful bird, but it took her months to fully relax and learn to trust us. Parrots have long lifespans - they can afford to take their time getting used to new people, places and things. (Unlike fruit flies, for example, who can't waste a second since have to squeeze all their living into a single day.)

 

Just let him learn to trust you by consistently being gentle and kind towards him and others. I think you will feel greatly privileged when he starts giving you his trust, a little bit at a time, since he doesn't give it easily.

[Dave007]

First off, your very last sentence wasn't finished so maybe you were talking about what we think of the royal wedding in the UK?

 

So, you ask about transition-----well, the bird is nervous about all things and you wanna get him into his permanent living quarters without upsetting him. Going from cage to cage is gonna make him more nervous. I can guarantee you that's gonna happen. Let me tell you about a bird that was given to me. This TAG was extremely aggressive to everyone husband, wife, new baby and including other pets.

When I took him he came with his own cage and all accessories. He knew this cage in and out. This was the place he attacked from when he was out of it. Putting him back in the cage was an big, big ordeal because of his serious biting. basically, they were very fearful of him. So, the first thing I did was to get another cage which I knew I had to do anyway.

When the cage arrived, I put it together and brought the cage to my bird room. I left his other cage where it was. Then, I immediately got the bird and instantly put him in his new cage. It had some familar toys in it but nothing else. I set the cage up with proper types of branch perches. I put a swing in it. That was it.

Immediately, that cured about 25% of his aggression. It was a strange item and he needed time to figure out the interior. So, he was now in a cage that was to be his last cage. He spent a lot of time getting used to it. I paid no obvious attention to what he was doing but I was watching him. I had decided that any future work I had to do with him would begin without him having the upper hand. It worked out although the aggressive part of his problem took a long time to change which was to be expected. He was in a neutral place now. He didn't have the upper hand anymore. Now, my wife and I could proceed to work with him.

I hope you understand my point here. I had an extreme problem and you have an extreme problem so the least amount of bouncing around would be good. A new cage with new people with new surroundings, with visual household habits and new environment will help a lot. Putting a new cage next to his old cage is gonna freak him out. Just look at all the small things that are freaking him out.

I believe a quick move into a new cage and quick removal of the old cage would be the best way to go. You have no idea about his background so starting a new relationship with him should also include new, nice living quarters.

Shaking is a sign of nervousness and fear of things which eventually lessens up as the bird knows that you're not invading him.

Do things around him but pay no attention to him. A very well known fact about greys is their desire to eventually get involved in what'[s going on. Curiousity gets the better of them. They don't like [b]not[/b] being involved and eventually you'll see obvious signs that he wants to. So take your time and remember that there's 2 important things here

1----no time limit on things that you feel should be happening but aren't.

2----patience, patience, patience, patience

All of this really applies because you know nothing about him.

He's already showing signs of calm by not plucking as much as he's used to.

[kave70]

I can't thank you enough for your insight. Slow and steady wins the race........ I'm looking forward to this journey with him. I hope he gets to relax a little and have fun.

[Morana]

Well, since your cage comes today, do keep us posted:) Also, few pictures, even from a distance (without flash!) would be appreciated;) Good luck!

[danmcq]

Youve receiuved great advice here.

 

 

Welcome and I look forward to hearing updates and seeing photos of your newly rescued grey.

[kave70]

The delivery company couldn't make it up our road yesterday, so they have rescheduled for Monday- will post photos as soon as it's together and we move Sam over.

On another note, he took an almond from me this morning. I feel like a little kid- so excited :-)

 

Karen and Sam