Gilbert is home

[Acappella]

Hi. Just thinking about you and wondering how things are going? I know you're extremely busy. Update when you can. <3 from Dorian and I.

[katana600]

On the homefront, all is well. Yesterday saw Mom moved back to her apartment in assisted living. It's been a long road and was a joyous day of accomplishment. I am cleaning and packing now, looking forward to returning home. Gilbert has been a character with the entire family gathered here for the holidays. She loved the full house, the noise and the commotion and was always chiming in with her two cents and making everyone laugh. One thing we have proven is that Miss Gilbert is not cage aggressive. One day, she took a swipe at me when I was putting fresh food into her cage. So vicious was her swift attack that when I pulled my hand away to avoid her, she tumbled right out the door of her cage onto the floor. We have the cages secured behind a wide gate to keep the large dogs at a distance and Gil headed right for the gate to climb up as she would do at home. But, at home we don't have three 80 pound-plus curious shepherds. I blocked her ascent and their tender noses with my body and she stepped onto my hand as disaster was averted. The few people who had been brave enough to offer a head rub to Miss Gilbert were incredulous. Why would she invite touching from near strangers yet so fiercely attack the one person who steadfastly provides her with food, snacks and a clean cage. They decided to test that theory. One by one eight to ten adults stepped over the gate and Gilbert bowed her head for a scratch. They moved to a different side of the cage and she hurried to approach them wherever they moved. If I stepped into her line of sight she slowly moved to the back center of her cage and went on red alert poised for battle. I moved out of her sight and she was greedy in her haste to get to literally every other person to approach her. This is exactly as Sarah, her former caretaker described her relationship with Gilbert. Its only fair to note that maybe ten percent of her time with me, she will come for a scratch for me, so its not an all out contentious attitude toward me, it may be the volume of interactions and the rest of the group may have simply approached on her best day. But that wouldn't explain why just a glimpse of me from ten feet away would trigger a negative reaction. Perhaps she still has that pent up fear that these trips and introductions to new people are going to culminate with a transfer of her home and subsequent abandonment. It seems like every time we go home again she is more relaxed and happier to see me. Another though is that when we are in Georgia, my presence is predictable and every time I come here, I am gone from her perspective for long periods of time and the schedule is unpredictable at best.

Edited December 31, 2014 by katana600

[katana600]

Thank you for asking about us. It was a pleasure to have my first quiet, leisurely morning and tune in for a visit with friends and to see that you were thinking of us and caring. There was one other scary incident with Gilbert. Just as I settled in on an air mattress in the living room there was a large thud and commotion. One of the dogs was on the wrap-around porch and I assumed that was the source of the scuffle, so I jumped up to check on her and though she was next to the door that wasn't the source of the unusual sound. Then I went to Miss Gilbert to discover a strong gust of wind had blown the main entrance door open. The wind coming through in the dark had startled poor Gilbert off her perch and the sound was her flapping to escape and to climb higher to a safe roost. When I turned on the light and secured the door I came back to find she lost 9 flight feathers plus two tail feathers in the incident. They all had hollow, white, dry shafts so it would appear they were ready to molt. Generally in a mature adult, I thought they would molt in bilateral pairs. This was almost as if she released them as a porcupine might do in a fright. More likely the tumble and frantic flapping dislodged them unnaturally. She looks quite the bedraggled mess and the next day she nervously chewed her chest feathers. On a happy note though, it was a very short time of being nervous, maybe only a couple of hours and she regained her composure and has been happy and chatty. She learned the name of the biggest and most playful young German Shepherd, Macy. So we are hearing a lot of bossing around from the peanut gallery for Macy to get down, shut up and to go outside... or come in, or come on over here. She learned to say my brother-in-law Mike's name after he loudly chastised Macy for trying to chase a ball in the house. She said "Sh@! Mike!" and it was so unexpected we all laughed so I imagine we will hear more of that. Since that's her very favorite naughty word, we would hear it often enough anyway.

[Greywings]

Enjoyed the update, she is a discriminating diva who must choose who to socialize with, glad you are allowed to serve. Some good insight there that you surmise she may anticipate a separation so holding herself back form fully accepting your attachment.

[katana600]

I've been with my husband 35 years and he is the same way. "I'm not going to get too attached, you might leave". LOL. This little grey bird is one tough customer. Every time we go home again, her little shoulders relax a bit. Maybe she can teach him (or me) something. When everyone was enjoying the "game", I said it really doesn't matter to me if I'm not the one to break the barriers down with her. As long as I see she is happy, I'm happy regardless of who she accepts and forms a relationship. My daughter's fiancé is very quick to say that's the true "mother" instinct. We are ready o o home again. It won't be much longer.

[katana600]

Yesterday I saw something yet to be witnessed in the nearly four years we have been together. Gil was playing with wild abandon. She has a leather strap hanging in her travel cage about a foot long with leather laces and shapes dangling from it. She was hanging upside down on it, flapping and squealing. Of course it's so out of character, I thought she was trapped. When I stood up to look she stopped, but when I withdrew she was so caught up she went back to it and played for thirty minutes. Even with being bedraggled, missing so many feathers and when I would think her balance is at its worst, she was fearless for that slice of time. Slowly she has been taking steps into the character she is meant to be.

[Acappella]

So glad you're not one to get your feelings hurt by seeming to be rejected. My theory? She takes out her frustrations on you because you are the constant presence and the most dependable one. Sort of how we sometimes save our worst behaviour for our loved ones because we know they're not going anywhere.

 

Re: the feather molt. Dorian had a big scare and a bad flight a few months ago and lost six feathers from one wing all at once, plus a couple tail feathers. Like Gilbert's, most of them we blood free, so they looked like they we ready to molt out soon anyway. He just looked uneven for a few months. Since he doesn't fly, at least not on purpose, it hasn't seemed to slow him down at all. Hope GG's feathers grow back soon.

[katana600]

Thank you! You and Dorian have a similar situation to the way my experience with Gilbert has evolved. I do believe you are spot on with your theory of how Miss Gilbert is more subtle and well behaved with others. She "lets her hair down" and is unabashedly free to show her wild side with me. I remarked to my sister "Why does she go after me like that when I am putting something good in her cage?" She quickly responded "Because you are the only one brave enough to reach in there. The rest of us see what she does to you and we aren't dumb enough to give her that opportunity." I really don't let her behavior define my success with her. She is mostly reacting to what she knows of the world, her views have been firmly established and I have to learn how to reach her before I can convince her to change her perspective. I think I needed this challenge in my life to bring me a strong dose of humility to gain a little wisdom of the ages and maybe even to adjust my own perspective. For now, I am so looking forward to being home again soon. Packing and driving a thousand miles isn't a welcome thought and the approaching winter storm may hold me up a few days but my work here is done. My mother in law had an excellent report for her orthopedic surgeon yesterday and is ready to live on her own again. It's time for us to fly! My car is getting a good "going over" and I'm saying my "see ya laters".

[danmcq]

Wow, it's GreYt to hear Miss Gilbert got lost in the moment. Once means more will be coming!

[bluedawg]

What a sweet, sweet face he has.

[katana600]

Thank you, Gilbert does have a sweet face and when we finally unravel the layers and complexities of the past I believe there is a sweet disposition in there too. Dan, I think being in a small travel cage increases her confidence. This time when we get home I am going to act on that observation and keep her in the travel cage until we find a suitable smaller cage. Every time I think she is responsuve to a small cage and a more secluded nook, I fear her tendency to withdraw might lead us backwards. She is at a better place now and I think I will give it a chance.

[Greywings]

Perhaps rather than replacing her big cage just keep the travel cage near by so she can utilize it when ever she feels the need.

[katana600]

I've tried that before but her main cage is so big with another one for Java sitting right next to it, there isn't a way to put the travel cage high enough for her to feel safe like we have it here in the breakfast area. My next move will be to buy both parrots "condos" instead of mansions and move the big cages to the outdoor patio. In winter months there is room in my sewing area so it would work well for them to move in or out of the house with me. My main goal is for Miss Gilbert to feel as comfortable and confident at home as she is when we travel. Better still would be to get my family to move down there with me. :-)

[danmcq]

I would love to see a video when she goes wild again.

[katana600]

Nothing would please me more than to be able to have her wild and free moments become so common that I could move from my spot as I watch her without making a move that would stop her enjoyment. Every time I get out the camera she responds like a character in a witness protection drug cartel movie. First she will try to shy away from the camera and turn her head away. If I persist, I can expect her to rush me like the rat paparazzi looking to expose her to the world. I will have to look up my most recent attempt to video a happy moment. She gets downright surly.

[katana600]

Oh happy day! We made the homeward trek from Bradford PA to Suwanee GA just ahead of the ice and snow. We had to stop in Charlotte NC to retrieve hubby's car from the airport. It rained the entire thousand mike journey and took longer than usual. Both dogs and both parrots are good travelers and its much less disruptive to them to drive straight through. We landed at home about 3:30 am yesterday. Miss Gilbert is in high spirits and although she must be as weary as the rest of us she has been cheerful and vocal about being home. Sure she likes that smaller travel cage! Ha! I cleaned the big cage before we left. It is completely barren but for perches and food dishes. Usually I would set it up before putting her in. On the first day home I had to run out for fresh bird food. We thought we would be gone for a week and it was closer to eight. I had to resort to the chain pet store seed mix. She and Java both were happy in the big cages without a single toy as they slept off the travel lag. Gil has eagerly rushed to her favored "scratch" perch and wants me to rub her head every chance she gets. Funny when I heard myself reassure her over and over "Gilbert is home" at 5:30 this morning it crossed my mind that mantra is the name of her thread started after her first thousand mile car trip.

[Acappella]

Welcome home Gilbert.

[katana600]

It is good to be home. It seems every time we leave and return, Miss Gilbert settles back in faster than I can. We had visitors this weekend. Our daughter brought home her long time beloved and he asked for our approval and blessings on their plans to be married. We have spent time with him several times but this was their first trip to our home. I had Java out of her cage and she stepped right onto his hand and before I could warn him, he reached out and scratched her head. Next, Gil had climbed out of her cage for the first time in the days since we returned. She stepped up to my hand which stunned me and then she made the offer of her foot raised to step onto his hand too. She has always liked Rachel and put her seal of approval on Andrés as well. We are going to have two weddings this year!

[Ray P]

First I would like to say, welcome home.

Miss. Gilbert has taken this travel thing in stride. It seams like when ever you travel the two of you become more bonded when you return home.

I know Corky loves to travel, but is always glad to come home.

I do believe that traveling with your birds and having then near you as you travel is a bond builder.

Corky and Cricket would sing and talk up a storm as we traveled and would make the miles go by so fast as we all enjoyed each others company.

[katana600]

In four years with this complex little bundle which is Miss Gilbert I have had one theory after another dashed and disproved as I try to understand her and meet her half way. Now I am beginning to believe that each car journey and extended stay away from home is a restart of her "honeymoon" period. She is charming and soooo quiet, calm and pleasant to everyone. One might think she loves to travel. My theory at the moment is - when faced with the unknown and unfamiliar she is on her very best behavior. She is on a reconnaissance mission. She is studying the landscape, scoping out dangers and pitfalls and taking in every perceptible nuance of human behavior from her access to more subjects. Something has given her the idea that I am suspect. Maybe she associates me original appearance with sudden change where others now come and go therefore they are not disruptive. Each time we return home she seems to relax from her constant vigilance. Maybe she is just too exhausted to keep up her guard. All I know is she seems much happier now that she is back but she has a deep distrust regarding me. That really isn't any change, I do see the nearly imperceptible softening of her resolve. Sigh. Someday. In grey time.

[birdhouse]

Considering birds in the wild travel so many miles every day, I have to think going places w/us is good for them. And spending extended time in different places should just be like migrating. All second nature to most birds. And maybe even a key ingredient that has enabled Gilbert to thrive so in your home. Just something that's good for her head in a way that most of our fids don't get to experience.

 

Congratulations on the big wedding plans. No small amount of insanity to follow, no doubt. But hopefully crazy in a very good way!

[katana600]

That's a good observation Val, and food for thought. Gil is no longer a fragile, fearful little being. Gradually and slowly she has learned to calm herself in unfamiliar situations. I've been looking at it from a human perspective and doing everything I can to reassure her and build trust as we allow her new situations that help her have positive experiences that build up her confidence, sense of self reliance and resilience. But, at the same time I notice she is at the edge of panic, like when I take her downstairs to the perch in my sewing room. Then inevitably she trembles, pleads to go back and I comply to alleviate her stress. I think I will try a new approach now that she is becoming more self assured. I will give that some thought to find a compromise we both can embrace. Thanks for the insight. Love this forum for all the encouragement and new ideas. Miss Gilbert is definitely the beneficiary of our combined efforts.

[katana600]

Last night Gil girl spontaneously offered David a step up and then willingly came to sit on my knee. She was calm and for a rare sight, she was not shaking in fear. Every time we leave and come home she takes another leap of faith. How could anyone not love this face?

[Timbersmom]

I love that face!

[katana600]

That is her look of curiosity without anxiety. Moments like that have been hard won and it makes my heart sing with the memory of sharing that time with her.