Ray P Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Dee The one thing about a grey to some it up is. You just never know. Thats what makes them special !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acappella Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 So he's a stinker and a thinker. Get'er Gilbert!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted June 9, 2012 Author Share Posted June 9, 2012 He is so comical. Today he came off his cage again and was happy as can be to come to the back of the sofa with me for a little while. Of course, I plied him with pistachios and pine nuts once he came to me. Then, he heard my daughter upstairs and he started talking and cajoling for her to come down. She was so pleased at his antics, she sat at the opposite end of the sofa and he ate pine nuts from her fingers for the first time. I think she is in training to be his new friend. I just love to see him opening up a little and looking for attention. Every night now when she starts up the stairs he can see her from his cage and he starts pacing and calling out to her "night night" and "sweet dreams" and "come back soon". She is smitten. He is awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 After all that work doesn`t it feel good to see him start to come around big time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted June 9, 2012 Author Share Posted June 9, 2012 Yes Ray, it is a bit like watching a miracle in slow motion. He has been so rigid, constrained and withdrawn so now his newfound confident strut is a sight to behold. The hardest thing to do is to wait and do little to approach him or ask too much too soon. He has been very vocal and involved with our family since the beginning, but now he is starting to show signs that he may broaden his horizons beyond the cage. There is such a contrast between Java and Gilbert. She has been with us since she was young and she is fearless and full of curiosity and adventure. He has taken a long time deciding if he wants to stay. If I could read his mind I still couldn't count on him saying this is an okay place, but little by little he is showing signs that he might agree to kinda sorta like us at some point. LOL. It sure helps to have others on the forum with much more parrot experience to say it will happen eventually. Giving him the choice to come to me on his terms guarantees when that moment does come, there will have to be a grand celebration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywings Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I loved reading this page this morning it made my day! (he does like you all, don't let him know that you know) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 Thanks Greywings, it makes my day to wake up to Gilbert and the rest of our household every morning. Gilbert is showing definite signs of getting just a little attached to us. He does somethings special with each of us. Yesterday as we sat on the screen porch, Gilbert was in the living room having a whistling duel with David. They were both quite creative and I was surprised at each of them. In the evening Gilbert suddenly wants the attention of Rachel after she goes upstairs to bed. He calls out to her and sings and says good night sweetheart. She comes back into the hallway over and over again to exchange sweet nothings with him. After we turned the light out last night, he was in the dark and he still kept telling her good night and sweet dreams. Some nights he is so excited and playful with her, she will come back downstairs and he runs and postures for her to scratch his head. My weekend highlight came while David was in the shower and was whistling to Gilbert. The back of his cage is on the wall shared between the living room and bedroom. As I went into the bedroom, he got excited and called out to me, so I came back around the corner and when he saw me he jumped a little. I took the opportunity to come in and out of the doorway and tell him peek-a-boo. He got really animated and jumped off his cage to get into the bedroom to find me. He stayed in with me on the bed and willingly did lots of step ups and was calm away from his cage. When I took him back to his cage he was playing and tugging his toys around and I got a little video. I will try to figure out how to edit and post a clip. As another plus, almost all of his tailfeathers have unfurled and he seems to have a full tail now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 Over the weekend when Gilbert was in an especially cooperative mood, he let me get close enough to get a short video. This may seem like just a bird playing with a toy, but it is huge for our boy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JPa2ymHmf8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingy Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 That is awesome. WTG Gilbert and WTG Gilberts family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 It has taken a long long time for him to get comfortable enough to have a camera so close. He is changing every day and what didn't work yesterday might be a big hit today. I am so thrilled to see him interact more intensely with all the toys on his cage top. I'm not sure if you noticed when he lost his balance, but he regained his composure and kept on playing. A month ago he would barely touch any of the toys up there. He would just carefully skirt around the edges to get to his favorite hiding spot. I believe Gilbert is naturally a sensitive bird and he is taking some time to adjust but he sure is showing signs of relaxing a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywings Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Progress starting to build on his trust foundation now, good work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingy Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Gilberts behaviors so remind me of older foster children who are in the process of being adopted by their forever family. They often act out because of the overwhelming and often conflicting emotions that they just cannot handle. They are angry that they couldn't stay with their parent, blame themselves "if only I had (or hadn't) done", happy that they have a loving new family but guilty because they feel happy and love another mommy/daddy, and scared because they fear it could happen again. The way you describe Gilbert this fits him to a T. Pre and post adoptive children can cycle through these emotions for years and may have PTSD like episodes where they are drawn back to their pre and post adoptive behaviors forever. It is not a signal that you have or haven't done something. Gilbert has decided to accept you into his flock but there will be moments, or even long periods of time, where he will try and sabotage it because the other feelings will be almost more than he can take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 It seems like it is taking a long long time, but in a lifetime measured in decades, this time is just a blip on his time line. Thanks for your support, insight and kind words. Our trust is still in the infancy stage and is very shaky and easily broken so we just keep going slowly with each other. The analogy with foster children and older adoptees is spot on. I was reading a book about African greys this weekend and one comment really hit a chord. It said that bringing an African grey home is not like getting a pet, it is more akin to getting married, having another child or adopting a child. To me this isn't to mean they are treated like a child or spouse relationship, just that it takes that kind of commitment and is going to need the emotional energy as well as the physical and time commitments. When Gilbert progresses, we rejoice and join him there and when he regresses, we step back and meet him there too. Sorry little buddy, but there is no place to escape to. LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 Gilbert took another step in a postive direction, literally. Rachel has been making strides in gaining his trust. She will offer a scratch and sometimes he will be in the right mood to skitter into this cage to his approved scratching spot. He almost never will allow a scratch unless he feels safe inside his cage with the bars between us. Today he looked like he might want a scratch so she walked up and asked if he wanted a scratch and instead he surprised her by offering his foot out for a step up! She carried him to the back of the sofa and shared pine nuts with him and they are officially "buds". It is heart warming for both of them to have reached this day. O Happy Day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywings Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Nice, progress is coming faster now, thew trust levels are building. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 The path is long, the steps are steep, but your destination is in sight. It will just keep getting better. Great job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kittykittykitty Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 How exciting! Patience wins the day every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted June 24, 2012 Author Share Posted June 24, 2012 It is so hard to know what to do, when to do it, when to push and when to wait. Patience, kindness and acceptance is key with these rehomed parrots. Any day that he shows an interest in the greater world outside is cage is a good day and we try to take advantage of his curiosity to help mitigate his fear and suspicion. He is still taking opportunities to barber off those brand new beautiful tail feathers. So far, he has removed three, each on separate days. He carefully places the feather in his water dish to ensure I will see it. My theory is this is a habit much like humans chewing fingernails. It started out for one reason and now just continues until we can replace that habit with a more positive activity. I believe when he gets more tolerant of leaving his cage and exploring the house, that one day we will just realize it has been a while since he destroyed any feathers. Every day I am grateful that we have not seen the kind of frantic fearful full feather plucking we saw on the day we met him. My measure of success with Gilbert is to see him leave his cage, move around the house a bit and come back still calm and centered. We get a glimpse of that occasionally and celebrate with him. Those celebrations seem to be happening with increasing frequency. I know when the day comes that he wreaks havoc on my house and other pets, I will be wishing for him to slow down a little. LOL. I do look forward to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted June 24, 2012 Author Share Posted June 24, 2012 Last night I was cleaning a big batch of blackberries we brought home from a farmer's market. I offered one to each of the parrots and they were not impressed. Gilbert immediately flung his to the bottom of his cage. I forgot about that until I just heard a large plop on the floor. He was standing triumphantly on the bottom grate at the door and had expelled that rejected offering to the pad in front of his cage. He seldom goes to the bottom of the cage, so now I am thinking to entice him down there, I may put a blackberry down there every day. LOL. His expression and body language were so funny, almost haughty, like how dare I defile his home with such a thing. LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 They do know how to get their point across don`t they !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted July 11, 2012 Author Share Posted July 11, 2012 I am in deep guano here. Since our daughter is temporarily living with us, Gilbert has taken a real shine to her. We went away for the weekend two weeks ago and he was not happy on my return. He interacted and was friendly to her and let her feed him but was a little stressed. I was a little nervous about having another travel commitment for this past weekend but it was a wedding in Colorado that I just could not take him along. He did much better the second time around. I can tell he was a little stressed because his droppings turned green and that is not his norm. Other than that, he is vocal and the only way I knew he was ticked off at me this time is that he flings pellets when I come to him and he flung his night time almond and has rejected every overture and offer of peace from me. He is talking to me, but he is not going to be so forgiving if he has to stay home the next time I fly the coop. LOL. On the plus side, he will step up off his cage for Rachel and just whistles and chats up a storm trying to get her to come back downstairs after bedtime. On the lighter side, he has taken whistling to a new horizon. He has been making up songs, blending tunes and just is a regular little whistling maniac. I have gotten so far as to stretch my lips over the new wires on my braces and can whistle a couple of notes and he laughs at me! He is a stinker. Seriously, I am grateful for the progress he has made that allowed me to travel just a little and come home to find him relatively secure, if not gracious about my departure and return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray P Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 There is this thing with greys that they want to make you pay for time off. My wife has been in the hospital twice this year, each time for four days. the last time was a week ago. Each time when she comes home Corky will give her the cold shoulder for the four days she was gone and than turn around and act like nothing has happened at the end of what she feels is pay back. This has happened every time she has gone to the hospital over the past 11 1/2 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdhouse Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 I don't think Gilbert's ever going to be easy, even by grey standards. Give his current rate of progress, I think a lot of his anger issues will evaporate once he's truly comfortable in the world, though. It's good to hear that he's angry at you & he's taking it out on you. Sorry! lol I mean he's not seeming generally withdrawn & plucking. It's also fortunate that he has been bonding so well w/your daughter. One more person to give him a reason to continue to be social even while he's working thru his issue dujour w/you. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katana600 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Share Posted July 20, 2012 Just this morning, I was forgiven and allowed a really long session of head scratching. Whew, I am glad for that reprieve. He went through a few days of outright hostile onslaught toward me. He tried to bite my head while he was on the cage top when I leaned in to change his food and water dishes for a couple of days in a row. He had a little bit of tantrum moments and flung his toys at me when I was near his cage. In the same time frame, he was actively soliciting head scratches from my husband and daughter while he was outside his cage which is highly unusual for him. He has been opening up more and more to both of them and even though I was wearing the dunce cap he gave me, I was enjoying the interactions just for the sheer joy it gave my family. I know he is really peeved at me and it hit home when he went through great trouble of going to the bottom of his cage and carried empty almond shells to his cage top. He was stockpiling them to fling at me. He also has gotten "on to" me closing his cage while he is out so I can change his pellet dish without a battle. After successfully utilizing that tactic a couple of times, he now will see me coming and get on the top of the door so I can't close it. Then, I walk by as if I am going to take the dogs out and try to slip the dish into its frame and he can get in there in a split second and guard the spot so I can't add the dish... that time. I am very patient and I think I have as many tricks up my sleeve as he does. I gave him three new small toys today and hooked them to his playtop ladders so I don't get pelted with them. He stood within reach of my fingers while I fastened the quick links. I was in his zone and he was so close I could feel the warmth of his breath and I wasn't quite sure if he was going to accept the toys or give me some guff so my stomach was a little bit in a knot but he was just fine. He didn't play with them today, but he also didn't avoid them or hunker down inside his cage so we are making progress. We have another trip coming up over labor day and hubby is going to rent an RV so all the pets can join us and not get Gilbert in a dither again. LOL. Road trip from Georgia to Pennsylvania for my mother-in-law's 80th birthday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oblivion Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 That is fantastically amusing. ALL of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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