Gilbert is home

[Inara]

<snip>.... it might be just as likely that I will delicately finger my pearls in my lovely floral linen and say some of the same words that Gilbert says if the shock value is worth it to me. Bwahahaha.

 

YOU are a stinker!! No wonder you and Miss GG are so simpatico!

[Greywings]

So funny and perverse both of you.

[katana600]

Gil girl has been a treat for two months now. She never gets enough of the head and neck rubs. Now she doesn't even care when I reach inside her cage, as long as she gets a little head rub. We both work pretty hard to be nice, sometimes we slip up but its good for a laugh. From the time I read that poem about growing old, wearing purple and spitting on the sidewalk, purple has been my favorite color. I imagine my grandchildren in the future getting on a forum somewhere to learn how to best condition me to live in polite society. Hahahaha.

[katana600]

We are having company this weekend. I have been freshening the upstairs bedrooms and bathroom. Gil knows someone is coming. Yesterday she kept asking me "Who dat dere?" I didn't get it. I just thought she felt like revisiting her Cajun roots. Then she asked "Who dat dere dammit?" Hahahaha. I still didn't get it. Next she started naming everyone she has ever known. Macy, Marilyn, Walter, David, Mick, Buddy... and "Who dat dere?" Finally I got it. I told her Kelsey was coming, Ryan is coming, Rachel is coming, Andres is coming. About an hour later, she was saying "PooKano" over and over.... oh yes, Baby David is coming too. I decided to have a little fun with her. Of all the people who have ever been here, she was seriously not in love with my nephew Mark. She would not talk to him. She told everyone night night, sweet dreams, bye and see ya later, except him. He asked "don't you want me to have sweet dreams?" She said "No". So when I heard another "Who dat dere" I asked if she wants to see Mark and she said "Sh!t". So, I said, alright then, Mark is not coming. Hahahaha. I did not laugh in front of her, but that was a tough one to hold back.

[SRSeedBurners]

I so wished you could record this and post it to youtube. I'd probably die laughing but at least I'd go out doing what I wanted.

[Acappella]

I so wished you could record this and post it to youtube. I'd probably die laughing but at least I'd go out doing what I wanted.

 

Just how I'd like to go, I agree!

[katana600]

Miss Gilbert claims she is in the federal witness protection program, no cameras allowed! I am beginning to suspect she is more likely a little mobster hiding out under the guise of a rescue. You have to admit, I am a little thick, it has taken me five years to have the first suspicion. Hahahaha. Seriously, one of these days I will figure out the hidden camera and have it running when she goes into one of her good times. The only problem with that is when I have to edit out my own misbehavior. All kidding aside, I am over the moon with her two months of sweetness. She is coming out of her shell a lot more and always asking for contact.

[Greywings]

Maybe planet Earth and her inhabitants are up to her illustrious standards after all. (:>

[katana600]

Perhaps we are not all that bad. She took a liking to my son-in-law and when they came to visit, she came right out on his hand every time he asked her. Funny when we were at their house she was on the offensive and downright obnoxious to them. They even brought their cat and she didn't have a moment of problem with any of our guests. Of course, with so many people here everyone was giving her tidbits of watermelon, baked chicken and her all time favorite nutriberries treats. She has gone from letting me scratch her head to asking everyone here for a head scratch. She is leaving behind a lot of her baggage and the best is yet to come.

[birdhouse]

She's really really coming along. This summer seems to have been something special for Miss G's emotional development & I'm so happy for you both!

[katana600]

Thanks Val. All I know about parrots, I learned here on this forum. Long ago, I recall our first breakthrough was from watching Phenix with Limeade. She loved that and I used it judiciously to draw closer to her. Miss Gilbert has been an education in trauma and healing. In the past two days, with a houseful of family, she has been allowing everyone to rub her head in the special spot in her cage. She has also come out of her cage for both sons-in-law. The thing that has really tugged at my heartstrings is how she is now closing her eyes while I rub her head. She leans into the rub, and makes breathy little clicking noises of approval. It took a really long time to see an emotional response from her that was positive. Pinning her eyes took years to achieve. Now she is relaxed enough to close her eyes. This is huge for her, even more huge for me because I recognize how much strength and trust it has taken for her to reach this pinnacle of trust. The thing that changed? Her cage. In the beginning, I bought the biggest cage I could fit in my room. Then I bought a size smaller and she started letting me pet her head without bars between us, through an open nesting door. Then, we traveled and I discovered my daughter's cat could terrorize her in the mid sized cage. At that time we were away from home. I bought the taller "breeder style" cage of three stacking units. Although it is smaller in cubic feet, it is the same size in horizontal footage that she would have in the biggest cage. This seems to have given her confidence. Like all our greys, Gil Girl is a unique individual. She just happens to get more calm and relaxed in a smaller space without human intrusion any more than possible. We offer her attention and when she is receptive she comes to the front of her cage. When she wants privacy and to be left alone, she retreats to the back. Everyone knows to just speak softly to her and not come any closer when she retreats. It is seldom that she withdraws now. Cuss words are fewer and less frequent. I believe we are enjoying the benefits of patiently waiting for grey time.

[birdhouse]

Members of this forum may have given you some tools to get you started. But you've built that bridge back into world for Miss G pretty much all on your own. And w/the help of a few others who may have risked death & bodily harm to help w/the hands-on part of her socializing. lol

 

 

You done good. Now, it's time for your reward.

[katana600]

That is so sweet, thanks. The trailblazers who taught me to watch and wait for her to teach me the next move are my heroes. Waiting has been my hardest task. Learning grey time, then taking chances to push just a tiny bit at opportune times has been the best approach with this complex and blazingly intelligent little creature. My reward is to see her close her eyes and melt under my touch. It seems like a miracle when she waits for a favored treat because she has reached the place where she wants my touch more than she wants to eat.

[Ray P]

And just think, there is more to come!!

[katana600]

I'm a believer Ray. I have read here that as breakthroughs pop up now and then while building trust that each new phase comes with greater frequency. I van see that happening with Gil over the past couple of months. She is gaining ground quickly. I've noticed that not only is she asking for more head scratches she is starting to show a real appreciation for my praises and attention. Today, through the bars I kissed her right on the top of her head. She pulled back, eyed me suspiciously, then tucked her hear to let me kiss her again. Then I heard her later today making real quiet kiss sounds like she is trying it out for herself.

[Giannine]

I've been meaning to ask you, do you ever have the urge to try finding Jim? For some reason that mystery has popped up in my head several times since reading yours and Gilbert's story. Probably because of how she sounds when she calls for him. To clarify, I mean find him to find out more of Gil's history and past experiences. Is it two homes that she has been in before you? I vaguely remember it was a woman you got her from...?

It sounds like you and Gil have been making some awesome gains lately...wow!

[katana600]

I have had a lot of urges to find Jim and had no luck. Early on, I had a fantasy that I would find Jim, he would be in a different place than when he let her go and would come in and turn her life into happiness and sunshine. But alas, that was just a dream. From what I could infer from what I learned from her previous caregiver, Miss Gilbert had at least four homes. She should have been about seven years old from the hand-me-down stories. At this point, we have what we have together and certainly I know her triggers for a really bad days. She spent her life around Biloxi MS, probably through a few major hurricanes and upheaval. She most recently before us lived on a military base. She has lots of danger signals, sirens, foghorns etc. in her repertoire. Early on thunderstorms would leave her frantic, but now she takes them in stride, although if it is in the middle of the night I will hear a quiet little quavering voice say "Gilbert okaaaayy". Packing boxes put her into a spin early on as well. Now she has been on the road tens of thousands of miles and has returned home each time and it doesn't seem to be such a big deal to her. I still smile about our vet early on dubbing her "The Cussin' Cajun". She really does seem to be coming into her own lately, it is wonderful. She will ask me sweetly for a cracker when she hears me in the kitchen. Her cussing has been minimal, just a strategically placed word now and again but not the all day grumpfests of our early years. My very favorite "new" thing in the past two months is that she can't get enough head scratches and is allowing me to reach through her open cage to really rub her head and neck. There have not been any lunges or sucker-bites... knock wood. She even makes these breathy little clicks and does some head bobbing to "feed me back" after a favored treat of a grape or watermelon. We are in a good place and I do believe there are bigger and better things in her future.

[Giannine]

"The Cussin Cajun" LOL I remember reading something she said in her accent that was just hilarious to me...I believe "Sheee-it" was in there. Four homes in seven years, though? Wow:( I suppose if she saw Jim, there is a good chance she would regress. I think she would be happy, but confused. I am just a sucker for history and wanting to know the whats, whys, and whens of things. I get curious and Gilbert's past is something that has peaked my curiosity.

How long have you had her now? 5 or 6 years? You definitely have given her more stability than she has ever had so I know that you are still scraping the surface of the goodness in Gilbert.

[katana600]

Miss Gilbert has had me for five and a half years. Due to circumstances we just got a light sketch of Gil's past. She has filled in a little with the things she says. I never had the impression that she was abused. Traumatized, yes, but that would be through the expectations she had in life. There is no way of knowing if Jim could ever come back to her life and if that would be good for her. I would be open minded because we just never know how things have been. Miss Gilbert and I seem to be on a similar life pattern. My husband's career saw us moving too many times to count. It always made me nervous to plant flowers because when it was time for them to bloom, someone else was in my house and I was starting over again. We have been in Georgia for ten years. That is a lifetime record for me, and I am just starting to fluff my feathers and feel like I am home. I am starting to plant trees! Now that is optimistic. Gil is planting sunflower seeds, she isn't as confident as I am today.

[Giannine]

Hopefully you are there to stay. How is Miss Gilbert faring with Hurricane Matthew? I just read this morning that Georgia is at risk so I assume you guys are experiencing high winds. I woke up this morning to unusually high winds and I am all the way in Washington State. They calmed down by the time it was time for me to get out of bed, though.

 

I think if you ever did find Jim and he really wanted to see her, it would be extremely hard to say no. It would be interesting to see what her reaction would be.

[katana600]

We live in the suburbs of Atlanta so we are not affected by this storm, weatherwise. It is heartbreaking to know the number of people affected, homeless or stranded without electricity.

 

Never say never, Jim could surface and I would not say no. If anything brought joy to Miss Gilbert I would certainly go the extra mile to reunite them and see if it were a miracle that she would recognize him and benefit from his presence in her life. Something I have often considered is the way she says "Jim" longingly, as if he has gone into another room and she is trying to summons him. There is a possibility that her favorite person was not Jim, but Jim's mate. It is hard to tell whether she is using a masculine or feminine human voice when she calls out for Jim.

 

Our household was out of order this week when my husband had eye surgery. Gil tried to bite me through the cage after asking for a scratch. My first thought was, "Aw, poor girl hasn't been getting enough attention". So I asked if she wanted to step up and she eagerly lifted her foot. And it was a sucker punch! Just as she had intentionally bowed her head, held the bars with her foot as she always does when she is really wanting a scratch. She had lured me close with the full intention of tricking me to get her sharp point across. Then, it is almost unheard of that she would lift her foot for a step up unless she was genuinely wanting to come out with me. That leaves her unbalanced, yet she surely did crunch the knuckle of my thumb. And she was NOT sorry. She laughed and hurled abusive language at me. In the past that would have set her off into a few bad days or weeks. When we got back home that day from the pre-op check up, she was singing and saying sweet nothings again.

Edited October 8, 2016 by katana600
clarity

[SRSeedBurners]

Pretty sure Gil Girl would recognize whomever Jim is or whomever she is referring to. You've probably read my post about my long lost Grey that I lost to a divorce...ended up living with my Aunt. I went to see this bird approx 25 years later and she instantly knew who I was and started doing stuff that we had done way back when. My aunt said she had never seen the bird do those things before in all the time she has had her. They do have long memories.

[Timbersmom]

I've noticed the names birds say aren't necessarily someone they love or hate. It seems more likely it is a name they hear expressed with emotion or they just like the sound of. The mystery of Jim remains!

[kittykittykitty]

I'm very glad you are safe! Best wishes for speedy recovery from the surgery.

 

Precious has a very long memory, also. She calls frequently for one of my grand-daughters that she seldom sees.

[katana600]

Someone taught Gil the sweetest things. I love when she asks for a tickle when she wants her head scratched, and when she says "Night night, sweet dreams". If there was someone she loved that came back into her life, I would welcome them with open arms if she responded favorably. Also, even if she acted unpleasantly at first, I would hang in there. The thing they say about greys is they can hold a grudge for a long time. Sterling, I have read your threads and believe you have such a connection to all your flock there is no doubt that your grey still loves you.

 

It is just amazing that our greys have such personal relationships that are different with each person they have encountered in life. It never ceases to amaze me when Gil comes up with a blast from her past. My favorite was when she heard gunshots and gave a shout out "Who dat dere?" in her best Cajun recollection. It is hard to tell if Jim was a favorite, I would like to think so. My daughter taught her to call out to me and call me "Ma" in the most obnoxious way. I liked LuLu better, but now Ma it is. I haven't heard LuLu since February.

 

Thanks for the well wishes, and good to see you back online Kitty. Eye surgery will be a snap... I waited until my husband had his lens implant so I had a bird's eye view of his prep and recovery last week. The worst part was when he had to ride in the passenger seat for an hour with me driving. Hahahaha.