Gilbert is home

[katana600]

It was funnier than the shock value of her cussing. If only you could have seen the look on his face. "What?" He was basking in his favorite, can-do-no-wrong status and she deliberately took him down a peg. You know, lacking eyebrows, and a face that is rigid and has no expression, how in the world does this parrot "look" so expressive? She does this haughty little sideways look with her shoulders hunched up, I swear it is a stance that says "There! How do you like them apples?". I guess it's all in the delivery and comedic timing. It was refreshing to have an uncensored belly laugh reaction to something acceptable enough to not hide my amusement. David might have muttered for fifteen minutes wondering why she would DO that to him? Because she can.

[Acappella]

I love that she's still coming out with "new" words. She has an impressive memory. Poor David. lol

[birdhouse]

Discovering the range of a fid's sense of humor & their ability to deliver on cue, whenever it suits them of course, was the most surprising thing for me. And that was before Phenix started to laugh. People who don't speak the same mother tongue can have a hard time communicating a punch line. But here's this totally different species that gets it. Really gets it! It still leaves me a little in awe sometimes.

[katana600]

I would love to hear Phenix laugh some day. I am in awe of Gil's changes and even more impressed with her memory, intelligence and free will. Miss Gilbert has been a snot all week. She climbed off her cage, bit Java and now she is the one who is mad at the world. She has been picking feathers and chewing a bald spot on her chest. Tonight as David came home late we wanted to go out for dinner. Just before we left, I asked her to go in her cage and she did not want to go. Usually all I do is stand up and she is in a big hurry to go inside. I thought if I went around the back of her cage and her beloved David was in front, she would scurry right over to him but she surprise me by trying to jump off my side in an attempt to bite my face. It was swift, intentional and purposeful. I walked into the garage and David asked her nicely to go inside and she obliged cheerfully. When we returned, as we walked in the door she was speaking to him and I didn't quite understand it but at the end she called David "You naughty boy". Again it was real clear and in her Cajun accent. We have never heard that before and it isn't the wording we would use. With her new words (new to us), it makes me wonder if her surliness of late is a flashback. She has been asking for Jim this week too. She is a complicated girl, sometimes vexing and frustrating, but if I knew how to make her world right and give her peace and happiness, I would do that for her. Something is off for her right now and as much as I feel like being mad at her for hurting Java and being really nasty to me, I just feel like there is more going on in her mind and she is the one frustrated and upset. I will give her the grace to come through this and level out again. I have seen her much better and I know we will get there soon.

[katana600]

Ok, I have to fess up. I know why Miss Gilbert went through a bad spell that led to biting Java. About a week earlier, I got out of bed when I couldn't sleep and about 2 am, I didn't want to wake my husband when I got back into bed. It was only a short distance and I was sure I didn't need to turn on the light. Luckily when I kicked the bedpost and broke my toe and fell hard, I didn't get more seriously injured. But, I did hurt my arm and I was slow getting around for a week or two. In that time, I was getting up later and feeding the birds a little later than usual. I always give them five times more than they can eat and she always had fresh pellets. But from her point of view, she had been neglected before and this was a bad sign. I think that is why she was saying words that we hadn't heard before like calling David a wiener and a naughty boy. It wasn't until she bit Java and started chewing her feathers that I was trying to figure out what I could do to help her. Whether she has food in her dish or not, she needs that security of getting fed the minute my feet hit the floor and they better hit the floor about 6:30 am if she has her way. The first day in a week that I got of bed at the usual time, put her food in her dish at the expected time, she cooed and immediately ducked her head for a scratch. What is interesting is she goes to sit in front of her food bowl as soon as she awakens. But, when I fill it with fresh food, she doesn't eat. She just needs to know its there. I feed them in increments throughout the day, but that morning feeding seems to be her touchstone. I'm sure seeing me lay about on the couch wasn't reassuring to her either. All is well, she is back to her happy little self again. Java's beak has healed and we are keeping a close watch on it and she is happily back to normal too.

[Timbersmom]

Yes, our greys hate change! This makes sense to me. I'm going on a mission trip next week and I feel sorry for the hubby, who will be staying home with Timber. Though nothing else will change about his routine, I won't be in my usually spot and he will get warped.

[katana600]

From calling David a wiener and a naughty boy, Miss Gilbert seems to be having a blast from her past. In the past couple of weeks she has been "babbling" more and more. I came in from the kitchen and she said "Who me?" just as plain as could be and it was definitely a question, then she laughed. Another day she was saying "Nuevo" over and over. We have had her well over four years now and it is intriguing to hear some of the things she pops out when she is reminded of something from previous homes, or when the mood strikes her. Also she still will make a mad dash to get into her cage if she sees me get up from my chair, or when I walk toward her cage. Other times though, she will walk to one certain corner of her cage and offer a foot to me to step up on her own accord. She has gone through a surly stage with David and has even bitten him a couple of times. It seems to be about his travel schedule and refusal to take her up on her offer to upstairs and live with her there in peace and seclusion from "LuLu". She is also starting to have a firm preference for certain foods and refuses to eat any of her pellets. She decided one day she no longer likes sunflower seeds and will pitch them out of her bowl one after the other. Every day we have a new look at Miss Gilbert. I do enjoy that she is feeling safe enough to press her own agenda these days.

[Acappella]

I'm so impressed with Gil Girl's prodigious memory for her past lives. It's amazing to me that she's still coming up with new words and phrases for you to wonder about.

[katana600]

Our neighbors were laughing at her antics and we were wondering why she says some words and not others. For instance one dog, she learned to call by his name "Mick". She admonishes him to be quiet, to go outside or to come on over here. But his brother Baxter, nary a word. She calls him "Bud" or "Buddy" occasionally but she hounds Mick relentlessly every day. She learned "David" but not Dee. She learned my sister Marilyn's name right away but doesn't mention her husband Mike. What is interesting about bringing up words from her past is that we can just about predict when it is coming. She goes through a real quiet time when she is exceptionally surly and uncooperative, then she regales us with tales and salty words. It comes as such a shock, but a relief that she is okay, we have a real hard time containing ourselves to ignore those outbursts. Then there are those uncanny times she seems to read our minds. She was new to our home when I stayed with Martha for her hospice. Gilbert associates a Geico commercial with being with Martha, it is the one with the little pig. Gilbert would say "wee wee wee". I won't hear it for a year, but then I call one of Martha's kids and while I am on the phone Gilbert will suddenly say it. She seems to know the connection. I do not have a green thumb but I have one small hoya plant Martha gave me and I have managed to keep it alive for almost four years. The day I repotted the plant recently, Gilbert said "Wee wee wee" for the rest of the day. She can't see the plant from her cage, and even so, it was a tiny two leaf cutting and doesn't look the same today.

[Greywings]

That ability to connect the dots is always amazing, maybe those alien minds can connect with ours.

[katana600]

We are traveling again. We are back in Pennsylvania for family support for a few weeks. This little Cajun queen has more miles on her tail feathers than most of my friends. She is once again taking great strides forward with our change of scenery. She is more relaxed in her travel cage than she has ever been in her big cage at home. She has been asking me for a step up from INSIDE the cage three times a day or more. She asks for a cracker but as I approach with a snack, she bows her head for a scratch first and then waves her foot at me. She just wants me to take her out, hold her a couple of minutes and then put her right back. It feels like she is testing me and trying real hard to work up real trust. It's the most amazing feeling to feel her grasp my hand. She will come out, start to tremble and lean back toward her cage pleading to go back. I offer to hold her at the door and she nearly panics in her hurry to scramble back to her comfort zone. But as I wait at her open door she will gather her courage, turn toward me and lift her foot again. Her whole body may be shaking hard but as I put my hand in her cage she grabs my finger and steps up. She may repeat the process five or six times at each sitting up to three times a day. I have to say that after 4 1/2 years of serious cage territorial issues it still makes my heart pound just a little when she reaches toward me with her beak to test my hand before grasping it with her foot. I am in awe of her change of attitude.

[Greywings]

That is a huge step forward I understand the trepidation too, hail progress and patience.

[birdhouse]

Bet you thought you'd have gotten into a nice, safe, boring rut by now, didn't you? Well Surprise! These are highly intelligent, sensitive, long lived critters. Their growth & development never ends as long as their environment is broad enough to keep their minds engaged. And of course Miss G has lots of love, a fine life & is so very well traveled!

 

So very fortunate w/that long, strange trip to get back to something that resembled something like normal. I can't believe after all these years she still trembles like that; poor girl. She's come so far & still keeps growing though. Maybe one day researchers will figure out how misplaced their surprise at the power of their tiny, little brain is. I've always thought it was the momentous power in those tiny, little hearts that's the most stunning thing of all.

[katana600]

Miss Gilbert my Mississippi Queen has over 20,000 miles logged on her tattered little tailfeathers. We made a thousand mile journey yesterday from Pennsylvania back home to Georgia. She, Java and my two dogs are awesome travelers. We had torrential rains and had to pull off the highway yesterday so our trip took sixteen hours. There was not a single complaint voiced... although Gilbert somehow did manage to poo outside her cage and into the pocket of my duffle bag of clothes. The best news? I am so stoked to say... is she is continuing to step up from inside her travel cage... and then from inside her own cage. In the week prior to leaving, I had decided to move the big cages to my basement and put middle sized cages in my living room. She has shown before she is more confident and feels safe inside a smaller cage. With that said, her big cage is the size for a macaw... and her "small" new cage is 3 feet wide, 2 feet deep and about 4 feet high inside her compartment. But, as with our first travel experience, it seems the more people she meets, then comes home, she gains confidence that she is not being rehomed again. The experience seems to trigger what feels to me like appreciation and her gift in return is a tiny bit more trust.

 

This is all still very new to her to step onto my hand but the added pleasure of permitting me to put my hand in her cage is a bonus. In the past... just three weeks ago, if I put my hand in her cage she would scuttle quickly to me in a defensive posture attempting to bite me... every time. I would have to fill food and water on opposite sides of her cage and rotate. Very seldom would she step onto my hand from the outside of her cage unless she had been started to the floor, then it was only for a ride back and she was scared the whole time. So now, when she puts her foot up and I feel the warmth on my hand, it is thrilling to me. She is quick to want me to turn around and give her the choice of returning to her safe spot. But she will do that ten times in a day now. She is testing me to be sure she is allowed to make her own choices it would seem. It is the cutest thing... she sees me coming, I ask if she wants to come out. Nine out of ten times she puts her foot out. If she doesn't want to come out she lowers her head and protects her feet and I say "Okay, maybe next time." Now she will come running to the front of her cage either on top, or inside and wave her foot to initiate the interaction, so it is a positive sign that this is her idea. It is amazing and feels so thrilling. In the past, I worried that something was wrong because her grip is very light and weak. As she practices this new behavior, just in three weeks I have noticed she is able to grip tight. It seems she was just to uncertain and was always preparing to try to launch back off my hand before.

 

Whatever is her motivation, I feel like we both just passed a test with a really really long study period of four and half years. Who knows what she will do next? I love that she has so many hidden treasures for me to discover over the years. My little string of pearls just keeps on finding a new way to shine in a very understated way. I had the deepest wish that in bringing her home she would simply "be okay" and I am learning so much about grey time, patience and subtle discovery.

Edited August 21, 2015 by katana600
double word use

[katana600]

Happy happy joy joy. In the wee hours of early morning, Miss Gilbert was making a sound she makes when she wants a scratch through her cage bars. Only now, in the new cage, the favored perch is behind a solid door. That works well to make her feel safe because she feels hidden and can peer through a screw hole or above the door to see who is coming near. So, I opened the door, she rested her head on her foot and for the first time ever, I had an opportunity to scratch her head with no bars between us. At one point she seemed to suddenly realize the plot and she spun around quickly to bite me, but I just held back and waited and she bowed her head once more and I stood there for all of twenty minutes rubbing her head in sheer awe. Omigoodness! She is warming up to me. I don't know why the traveling seems to bring out a little affection from her. It seems like every time we return home we have a big change in her trust.

[Greywings]

She continues her progress up the path to confidence in her people and surroundings. Gil girl is such a brave little Grey warrior now, sweet moment.

[katana600]

It seems as if every time we travel we get a new "honeymoon" period with Gil girl. She is continuing to request head rubs morning and evening from the open door of her cage. She is so cute, she will stand on her perch with the door open and first she slowly rubs her chin and head with her talon. It reminds me of a wise old man thinking through a conundrum. As I approach, she quickly assumes her receptive position and our scritch sessions last upwards of ten minutes. She has "startled" a time or two and she immediately swings around as if she would bite me, but she does not bite. Then as quickly as it came on, she tucks her head again and keeps one wary eye on me but after a moment of scratching and rubbing her head she now is relaxed enough to close her eyes and make the cutest little murmurs of contentedness. On those occasions during the day when I think she might want a scratch and I approach the open door, she will reach out and grab the door and close it. She is much less subtle than her "old days". Hahaha. She also has taken a new approach to the dogs. I got my pizza oven so we are eating pizza every night while I obsess about "getting it right". She is enjoying a little crumb of crust with us. She will intentionally drop morsels to the dogs waiting below on the arm of the sofa. But.. when she rush over to get her offerings, she has been skittering down the outside of her cage and trying to take a swipe at them. When that happens I just move the cage a few inches so they get their scraps from the floor instead.

[birdhouse]

Putting Phenix' cage behind the sofa was a great thing for us for many reasons. As much as he enjoyed feeding them, for instance, he also decided it was greyt fun to pull the dog's tails whenever they were in reach. Eventually he would graduate to where he'd actually, deliberately get down onto the floor to torment them. Sometimes, even going so far as to steal toys & treats right out from under them. He has no idea how very, very lucky he is that they were all such wonderful & patient dogs!! Once the couch existed as a neutral or buffer zone, though, they usually heard or maybe smelled him coming before he could commit whatever fiendish mischief he might have had churning around in that diabolical little mind of his. lol

Edited August 26, 2015 by birdhouse

[katana600]

From advice on this forum I have learned that when we have a breakthrough there are insights and promise of more. More is what we are getting from Gil. Her little scritch sessions are getting better and better. Last night she sat enjoying a head rub for almost a half hour. She is most receptive in early morning and late evening and I suspect that is because the light is dim and she has less outside stimulation. She was not only asking for attention, she was getting the African grey blush. This is something she has never done. Her little white area was so pink as to be almost purple as she pushed her head into my hand. When she is receptive, she says a quiet little "hey" to get my attention, then tucks her head to present the back of her neck to me. This morning I heard a loud clanging and she was banging on the latched door. When I opened it, she immediately posed for a head rub. As I stopped to make coffee she banged on the door and called out "hey" followed by louder versions. She called me back several times for more. I had to move her cage a bit to get a better "roosting" position for myself because my arm was getting to tired to keep up with her demands for more. I love this! Also, now I have her permission to speak to her while I am rubbing her head. Even a few days ago, if I told her she was a pretty girl during a scratch session, she would pull back and it was over. She is changing so fast I don't recognize her. She also asks me several times a day to pick her up. She doesn't want to go anywhere yet, she just wants to test me, get what she wants and go right back to her cage.

 

Even while she is getting greedy for close up attention, I can see signs that she is still scared and nervous about it. During a scratch session she still holds her chest feathers for dear life. As I rub and scratch she "preens" and chews on her leg and chest feathers. She has worn the chest feathers in a spot the size of a quarter right down to the skin. While that is not a desired effect, I am going to follow her lead and keep giving her the close up attention. The first few days home, she was biting her foot, leg and toenails in a nervous frenzy when she was a little off kilter. That let up and I think with time the other nervous chewing will subside as well. She is also branching out to play with toys that were left untouched for literally years. She is overcoming a lot of baggage all at once now. It is amazing... and of course... I want more. Hahahaha. I sit with her in those wee hours watching her grow more at ease and content and dream of her coming to me out of the cage, sitting on my lap and letting me have a little comfort instead of roosting on the back of the sofa or a chair.

[Greywings]

To quote a song "Sweet dreams are made of these." Your patience and observational skills are now rewarding you for all the time and worry your little Swamp Queen has brought to you, relief and some freedom of fear.

[Ray P]

When's the coming out party ?

I will be there with bells on.

It just keeps getting better and better.

You gave her the chance for a better life that she might not have gotten from some one else and it only took 4 1/2 years.

You should be proud.

[katana600]

Thank you for all the encouragement. I couldn't have gotten through this without all of you. Every day I learn more about her and it is starting to show real progress. There is something magical about watching her gain trust and for her to relax her little wings a bit. Last night I was sitting for so long, speaking softly to her while I gently rubbed her head when I noticed her eyes got teary. I think she has waited longer for "my breakthrough" than I have for hers. As much as I enjoy the warmth of her head on my fingertips and the soft scent of her I think the best thing is how many times now she will wave her foot as I approach to give me the joy of her willfully asking to step up. She turns right around and wants to go back, she is just showing me she is willing to come to me. Tiny little talon steps in grey time we are beginning to dance.

[katana600]

Fast and furious, better and better. Much has changed in two days. First, as I turned to return Miss Gilbert to her cage after a recent routine of step ups, she hesitated. A little later she stopped completely and held onto my hand rather than clamoring in a panic to her safety zone. I upped the ante and carried her to my bedroom for a change of scenery. I was able to get a short video, will post it soon. You can see her looking disheveled and nervous. She signaled her desire to go back to her cage by announcing "night night".

 

Tonight she stayed longer, for more than an hour. Her best record time for being away from her comfort zone. Then, I awakened about three am to the low fog horn distress call. I went to her in near darkness just to reassure her, she rarely gets up in the night but we have had thunder storms. When I scratched her head she wanted more but I wanted to return to bed. She reached out and grasped my hand so I took her back to my room to read and give her a few minutes.

 

Slowly she made her way up my leg, said "hey" and bowed her head for the very first head rub away from her cage. She held tight to my knit pajamas like a little security blanket. It was so endearing I didn't mind being up in the wee hours. When I would quit rubbing her head she would move closer until she was on my shoulder. She pressed the upper curve of her beak against my cheek and softly said "hey". This seems too good to be true. We spent more than an hour together and she kept asking for more. I know its a combination of her finally letting down her guard by also seeking solace from the storm. The scent of her warm feathers was intoxicating. It must have been for her too. She leaned close and I kissed her tattered little shoulder. She moved closer. I kissed her on the top of her head. She has finally surrendered her fear to accept human contact in a meaningful way. This is the four year anniversary of Martha's passing when Miss Gilbert was still new to our family and spent many weeks on the hospice team making her laugh with silly antics.

Edited September 5, 2015 by katana600
Video didn't post

[Timbersmom]

Oh that's wonderful! So happy for you and Miss Gilbert

[Ray P]

Hay Dee, You have no idea how much I am enjoying your joy with Miss G., It`s the same joy I felt with Cricket as she became what everyone said she would never be.

Corky was setting on my shoulder as I read about your joy. It was like she was also reading your post as she was looking at the computer as if reading it.

I always new it would turn out this way as I knew your heart was always with her through the good and the bad times.

I have followed Miss Gs and your adventure from the beginning, and your posts have given me great joy (Grey`t joy) along with many others that have followed this thread as I have from the start.

Corky and I both have a big smile on our beaks.