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Gilbert is home


katana600

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When Miss Gilbert started playing, she is making big progress. Some toys have been in , out and around her cage for four years of offering and being rejected. Yesterday I moved the new toy from outside to inside while she was in her cage watching. She did run across perches, play "porches" and offered to bite me but didn't seem at all bothered by the larger than usual wooden toy. Today it is half way to being demolished. At the same time she went into a feather chewing frenzy and there is the appearance of a snowfall around her cage. She doesn't act nervous and I think even though she is adapting, change makes her anxious. She is learning new things and making progress. Today she surprised me about 6:30 am with a loud, emphatic "You're WELCOME!" In my voice. It was a big surprise and it took me a moment to think about where she got that. For the month since we returned home she has staked out the food door every morning. When I put in fresh food and water she takes a swipe at me, then she throws food and flings water. ...and I say "you're welcome" a bit facetiously at her lack of appreciation. Bahahaha, I guess she got the last word on that one. She is currently standing on one foot on top of her open door, grinding her beak.

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There is always hope for Dorian. Gil hasn't played like this for at least six years. She started with paper, cardboard, birdy bagels, rattan, seagrass mats etc. We've offered balsa, then thin wafers of soft wood. She has only recognized the satisfaction of wood chewing for about a week but once she started she has embraced it with relish. We had company this weekend. The little toot was eliciting head scratches from David, and both lady visitors with whom she is unfamiliar. They all laugh at how suspiciously she regards me and then she laughs and gets into the game of begging everyone else to touch her. The stink toad. She also is playing with a set of plastic cups, toddler toys. She is very animated and full of energy. And now that we are home alone.... Yep, all the head scratches I wish. To see how she accepts and adapts to new challenges is so encouraging. The cold shoulder? Perfectly acceptable. It makes for a funny conversation and really opens the guests up for reaching out to her much to the delight of all.

Edited by katana600
Spell checker "fixed" things I didn't want changed.
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Once again, we are best buddies all week. She shares my oatmeal every morning. She offers many head scratches and not once did she fling food and water at me. David was home this weekend. She was on the outside of her cage where she likes to wait for him to sit on the floor and join her. Soon she became bored so she started pulling the cage liner papers out through the bars. That was about to make a mess so I went over to change her cage papers. I never heard her nor saw her coming. I was leaning in the door, working on the bottom of her cage. She went up the side, into the opening and she jumped on my head. She pulled my hair, tried to bite my head and was scratching and digging at me with her sharp toenails. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt... that I made her nervous when I came to her cage and she was just trying to get inside to safety and "slipped". Ah. NO. She was intent and deliberate. David saw her coming but he also thought she was just trying to get inside to the safety of her cage. David says she just doesn't like me messing with her cage, dang it. I say, it is time for him to clean the cage to see if she does it to him. I got a no thank you on that one. Ten minutes after the fracas, she is as sweet and calm as she could be. Also, when he is home, as soon as I position a new stainless steel cup of food, water, snacks etc. Miss Gilbert will work overtime to wrench it free and fling it to the floor of her cage. I've tried different cup holders and the one in there now is the most difficult, but she is determined and diligent. This morning, he is at work, I fed her and all is just fine in her world. Round and round as I try to understand the little pip, she changes up her strategies and gets far ahead of me. I am no match for her, but I may be just as determined or stubborn as she is as I patiently win over her heart and mind.

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Timber doesn't want hubby's hands in his cage for any reason. They get along fine as long as Gary keeps his hands away from the inside of the cage, but when he is trying to do anything inside the cage, look out! I can do anything on the inside of the cage EXCEPT get a step up. They are so funny that way! When Timber is out and needs to go in (like when we are leaving the house) Gary just sticks his hand in the cage and Timber goes right in to run him out of the cage.

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Luckily she was most intent on pulling my hair and I was calm enough to back up and give her the idea to step onto the cage top. No blood shedvthis time. Even as I was disengaging her from my hair she was running toward me trying to bite my hair. It is somehow comforting to know I am in good company with Gary. If she was guarded all the time with me, or if she was always defensive about her cage it would be easier to understand. Boy howdy when I have hot oatmeal she can't get to her "sharing" perch fast enough. It's right in the center of her cage. Whether she is inside or out she will hustle right to that perch and make a particlar 3 beep sharp staccato sound of acceptance. She makes great gulping, yummy sounds while she eats off a spoon. If I have the audacity to make eye contact, or god forbid ask if its good, she draws back with a glare that makes her regular stink eye look positively charming.

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Despite the apparent rebuffs of my offers for friendship, I love this little grey bundle of contradictions and complications. I am a very predictable companion... just watch Sheldon on Big Bang Theory. My husband can watch a new episode and say his lines before the actor does, LOL. I can get the basic "Gilbert rules" but some of her basic "commandments" are perplexingly flexible. She doesn't always respond favorably to an offer for a head scratch, but when she does, the cage bars must be between us. One day she will violently defend her cage turf and the next, she is so sweet about standing on top of the cage and watching patiently while I put things inside, clean it, or rearrange things. Last night while she was topside, I offered her a scratch, she bowed her head to show me it was okay. I put my hands inside the cage and she stayed a long time letting me reach up through the bars to rub her head. Today she has a sense of humor but it is the naughty kind and I have no where to go to laugh without her knowing. We awakened to snow on the deck, it isn't that prevalent in Georgia, and I might guess from her former decade in Biloxi MS, she may never have seen such a thing. But... as soon as it was daybreak she has complained loudly and often that there is "sh!t on the floor". First, I thought it was the sound of the spray bottle when I cleaned the coffee pot. Then I thought it might be the sound and sight of me cleaning a spill on the counter. Nope. It would appear she is talking about the snow on the deck.

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Come to think about it, my family up there sounds more like Miss Gilbert every day with the never ending winter. Our hometown of Bradford PA had a water main break depriving the entire community of water. With sub zero temperatures and no water pressure in the lines more damage is inevitable. Now winter storm "uncle" Remus is wreaking havoc on the south once more. Imagine poor hubby's flight from DC/ATL was diverted to Detroit. Detroit has better weather than we do. If Gil associates snow with the absence of her heartthrob I may learn some new words from her.

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  • 3 weeks later...

We have been having a little forward motion in Miss Gilbert's family interactions. She has been climbing the stairs from the new vantage point of her cage positioned on that wall. If David goes over there and sits with her she is in her glory. Because of the way her cage blocks her view of my chair, she thinks she is really getting away with something. Even while David is traveling she goes and sits on the steps. They are carpeted, but clean up easily enough and she isn't doing any damage, so I am giving her some leeway to see where she is going with this. Also, she is getting more courage about staying outside on her cage top when I am in the room. I have been walking up to her and blocking her quickest route to dash into her cage and then offer my hand to step up and she has been stepping up from the cage top to my hand. I know this is by trickery and not entirely her willingness to be with me. But, I will take what I can get and try to break through and do things differently. I take her to the sofa with me. The arm is wide and flat. I give her treats, and then offer to take her back. When we stand up, I take her to the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, dining room and tell her about things in the room. She has been really calm and wide-eyed but she has not been shaking as she would do previously. She has even been talking while she is on the arm of the sofa. Well... talking is being generous. She is making a sound very much like an agitated Donald Duck. I am quite sure it is meant to scare me senseless and to leave her alone, but she is good natured about it and has been doing some real talking too. Mostly "Ready? Are you ready?" Inevitably it gets to "ready to go back?" and then I don't have the heart to keep her from the safety of returning to her happy place.

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I'm so happy that GilGirl continues to expand her horizons, and I literally lol at her reaction to snow on the deck. She's just saying what we who live in the north are feeling. I'm right there with ya girl! When Dorian first started stepping up for me I started by only taking him to a chair in full view of his cage. When he stopped shaking at that I started taking him to other rooms out of sight of his cage. Like GG, he could only handle being out of sight of his safety zone for short periods of time. I got to the point where he would go anywhere in the old house with me because I became his safe place. Now that we're in a different, much smaller, house he goes anywhere with me except the basement. I have a full playstand down there for the day when he can tolerate being down there any length of time. For now he just sits there frozen, beeping his alarm sound, with a foot up in his 'take me away from this evil place' pose. The fact that he will not hang out there with me is a bit of a pain because I like to keep him close by me when I'm home, and I have stuff down there that needs to be sorted through. We'll keep working on it until he figures out there's no parrot eating machine down there lol. btw, Dorian does the demented Donald Duck as well. I think it's him mimicking the tv or radio being on in the background. It has tone and inflection, but no actual words.

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Even though I have been prepared to follow through forever, it sure helps knowing there are those of you who have gone before me and reached a better place for the little souls who found their way into our living rooms and hearts. As is her pattern, Gil gets out and about and I take her a little further and then she retreats and gathers her nerve again. Maybe for Dorian to go to the basement with you, you could put him in his travel cage. Gil loves her travel cage and as I am rearranging my house and finishing the outdoor patio downstairs, I will be spending a lot more time down there. I put the travel cage up on a heavy duty plastic folding table with telescoping legs. That makes it taller than a kitchen counter and seems to give her the security she needs. As time goes on and I see her developing a bond with David, I am so pleased. They both need this relationship and every little advancement we make in getting her to decide she wants to stay with us is cause for celebration.

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We are making great strides together. When we went away for a few days, this time we had a new pet sitter stay in our home. Actually she is a college friend of our daughter and she has stayed before, but this was her first time for pet sitting. When we came home, the dogs didn't even come to the door. The best part though is that even though I was gone and Gil was confined in her cage, she had a great attitude when we came home. We have her cage situated near the stairs. Occasionally she will very quietly and stealthily get on one step closest to her seed catcher for a reconnaissance mission. We took a midnight flight home and David had the day off so it was an opportunity for them to start a new routine. He will go sit on the step. She thinks I can't see her back there. She very quietly slid down the bars of her cage ever so much like a little fireman on his way to a job. She tried to walk through the bannisters but didn't fit so she tried again just under the stair tread. She rubbed her beak on David's hands and rubbed his knee with the top of her head. Maybe the bannisters give her the same feeling of security as being in a cage because when I stood or spoke she didn't get in any hurry to dash back into her cage as usual. Its such a beautiful thing to witness as she begins to trust, even in tiny little grey steps. She was so relaxed and chatty with Eryn and she has had no inclination to barber her chest feathers as she would have in other times when we either took her out or had a sitter. I feel like dancing on a cloud, she is making progress.

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What lovely news to tune into this morning! Miss GG's strand of pearls is ever growing. She is happy to have you and David both back where you belong. Now, time for my afternoon coffee, and to catch up on all the back Miss GG posts that I have missed. xo

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When Miss Gilbert makes progress we take two steps forward. When she stalls, I give her room and wait for her to get ready again. It is just wonderful that she didn't slow down again when we went away for a long weekend. Also, in the past two weeks, I have capitalized on her growing attachment to David. When he is home from work, if she is on her cage top, I offer her a step up. She always leans in to tuck her beak into her chest to ward me off. I put my other hand on the cage top a foot away and she is distracted enough she poises to hurdle off the cage to escape. Only now she waves her foot for a helping right hand to "flee" my left hand. I've used this technique before with limited success. After doing it once or twice she either gets nervous and starts barbering her chest, or she just dives into her cage when she sees me within ten feet of her. Lately I can pick her up, carry her across the room and hand her to David. He talks to her for just a minute and she no longer shakes with anxiety. When she starts getting the panic look on her face, flapping her wings and looking for an escape, I ask if she wants to go back. She is ever so much in a hurry to step up to my hand for a lift back to her comfort zone. I may get the opportunity to do this three or four times each evening. Last night, she got ahead of me and lifted her foot for me without my other hand behind her. When she gets back to her cage she does that Donald Duck character "barking" grumble at me. That has been new for a couple of weeks. It sounds like she is doing it as a good natured grousing. She laughs when we laugh.

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It feels like Christmas at my house. David is away this weekend and Miss Gilbert has been very quiet and withdrawn. Tonight I shared some warm macaroni with her and she gobbled it up with compliments to the chef. Then, I was snuggling two little dogs on the sofa and had Java on my lap preening her head and Gil was watching us closely. When I stood up to put Java to bed, I stood inches from Gil's cage and let her watch as I kissed Java's head and snuggled and scratched her head and neck. Gil again, was watching closely. As I said goodnight and closed Java's cage, I turned back to Gil and before I could put my hand up, she stepped to the edge of the top of her cage and offered me her foot. I didn't even do the left hand behind her ploy. I didn't step away from her cage, but praised her and sang to her and as a gracious bonus, I offered immediately to put her back on her cage. She stepped to the cagetop, spun in a circle twirling her skirts and again offered me her foot spontaneously. I picked her up and repeated the act, and she repeated her act. She did this three more times. It was delightful. I am going to sleep with a song in my heart. Miss Gilbert has reached out to me on her own accord. Now that was four steps forward!

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I think it's wonderful how you return her to her safe place before she asks. That way when she asks for more interaction you get to reinforce step up as a positive. Dare I say you've got the little monkey as figured out as you're ever going to?! Lol

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My technique is pure trial and error with Miss Gilbert being quite the complex learning environment. All I can think of is a demonstration we were once given about leaders. There was a string on the table and we could move it with one finger and the illustration is, you can't push it or it bunches up and works against your efforts but if you gently pull it along, it will follow. With Miss Gilbert, any signs of coercion, even putting my hand on her cage behind or above her is met with a "snowfall" of barbered feathers within a few days as the anxiety gets the better of her. In the past month we are getting to the point where she doesn't tremble when we approach her cage. If she hides from me and is hypervigilant and wary, I have learned to accept that her answer today is no thank you. She isn't like any other little monkey in the world, she has come a long long way in her fluffy little grey underwear to teach me to wait on grey time.

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  • 2 weeks later...

It is time for an update on Miss Gilbert. Drum roll please... Miss Gilbert has been offering a lifted foot for a step up four or five times every day now! I have been waiting and watching for regression, feather barbering or her usual fearful trembling that says we have asked too much too soon. Nope. Nada. At first I would happen upon her on the cage top and give her an incentive by taking her to her beloved David. He would hold her until she was showing fear, then hand me a pecan and I would take her back and give her a treat. We kept interaction to a minimum and let her lead the way back as soon as she asked. Then, even when David was gone, I would offer to pick her up and when she offered her foot, I made sure not to press my luck, but just carry her in a small circle and offer for her to go back. Over the past month, she has declined the offer to be immediately returned to her comfort zone. In the past week she has spontaneously offered me her foot without me asking. This weekend she has not only offered her foot to David, but she got off her cage and came to him. I have been giving her tours of the main floor of the house and even letting her perch on my bathroom sink while I shower so she gets a little extra humidity. What you have all been telling me about building trust and waiting for her to be ready, in grey time, is paying off. She seems to have gained some insight to enjoy life just outside those cage bars and it is spectacular to see her coming to a good place of overcoming fear and distrust. She has recently decided her contact call to her beloved David is a wolf whistle. Of course he is preening and enjoying his love muffin status, it is just awesome.

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